-1

The Disclaimers: Star Trek in all its forms and series belongs to Gene Roddenberry and the corporations. I am just borrowing them for this fan fiction and mean no disrespect nor am I making a profit on the work.

This is a Snippet in the IDIC Universe. A brief view of how Amanda sees Sarek.

By Lisa AKA FireStar

Rating : G

Archive: Selek Yes anyone else let me know where.

My Vulcan Husband

Amanda's Journal

Today was an interesting event. Sarek and I had once more been invited to the Terran Embassy for a dinner party.

Do not misunderstand me I have some friends at he Embassy but generally I do dislike going there. Perhaps I should explain my feelings. I am a human woman married to a Vulcan male, not just any Vulcan male either but ….Sarek chi Skon of Vulcan. My beloved mate is a direct descendant of Surak and he is the off world head of Vulcan. Oh, this is coming out all wrong. I need to write this down so someday history can truly see the great man I married. Oh, it makes me so angry when I watch how they treat him. Have I mentioned he is the political leader of Vulcan to the Federation?

All right let me try this again maybe it would be best just to tell you what happened. It all started out innocently enough truly, it did….

"Sarek honestly why do we have to attend this silly dinner again? The pretext of a social event is ridiculous. You know full well that they simply wish to sway your option on the Ceti petition for full Federation status."

"Amanda if this is the case they would have listed that on the program." Sarek said as he pulled on his trousers.

I looked at my Vulcan husband and wondered once more at his sometimes naïve and innocent views? Sometimes it was very hard for me to remember he was a formidable negotiator and diplomat. How after almost twenty years dealing with humans could he not know that they are duplicitous and double dealing? That my species for all its apparent civilized behaviors always had a hidden agenda and always had plans with in plans? Social occasions in the human mind were the best time to conduct back room deals and business.

I sighed and just hoped that I could keep a civil tongue. Honestly, I hated these events because it just seemed so…. Contrived.

Sarek just calmly dressed and waited for me. I have to admit I was late because I had gotten side tracked trying to convince him to forgo the dinner and dance. Really was it so much to ask to just have one night alone with my husband? I sighed and dressed and accepted his touch of two fingers. A kiss would have been better but then again had he kissed me I doubt we would have made it to the dinner. Sometimes the Vulcan way did have its uses. Oh well let me get back to the story.

My husband and I arrived and were announced. As always all eyes were on Sarek. He is a striking figure so tall and handsome. Alright I admit I am biased but really do you think it was just his brilliant mind that drew me in? Ok ... I admit it his sense of humor was the key. So dry and sharp that one could mistake it for… Well never mind. The fact is I am proud to be his wife and mate.

As always I followed three steps behind. I have to say I grown really fond of that position. I mean Sarek is wonderful to watch so graceful. Besides I know it is wicked of me but I can almost make him blush at times. He knew why I did not want to attend and I had the pleasure of seeing the tips of his ears turn dark for a moment. Wicked of me but lord I love to watch Sarek walk. Well back to the story. I was following Sarek to the dinning room when this human male came up. He was quite rude and insistent that I dance with him. Somehow Sarek got ahead of me and separated. Do not misunderstand me I am fully capable of taking care of myself ….

Well the next thing I realize I am on the dance floor being held to closely and to tightly by this … thing. I feel my panic rising as I do not wish to cause a scene but then this is not going to reflect well on Sarek no matter what I do. If I stay close and finish the dance it looks like I sought out this male. A definite no, no on Vulcan a culture that take monogamy very , very seriously. If I try to break away I am going to have to strike this idiot or create a scene which would be bad for our relations with Earth which are at the moment very strained.

Help me Sarek I call mentally. I am really stuck here.

I look over and Sarek walks to the band leader and calmly asks for a Waltz. The moron who is holding me tries to pull me closer. Sarek merely walks to me and taps the mans shoulder.

"Get lost Vulcan." he clearly has no idea who Sarek is. I blush and plead silently for Sarek to hold his temper. He merely raised a brow.

"Lady Amanda promised me this waltz."

The human looks at me and I said "Thank you Ambassador. He is correct I did promise."

I slip into my husbands arms and he pulls me close and away. I find I am shaking with terror and fear because I know full well what Sarek could do to a mere human. I am afraid because I know he will always protect me.

Sarek holds me safe and close and I can feel my heart racing. Only when we waltz will he hold me so close in public. Yet in this single dance we show we are one.

As we danced the room fell silent. I look around at the stunned faces of everyone. Why is it that they are so shocked….

I wonder my journal if I can ever explain how important Sarek is to my very being? I watched the humans with confusion on their faces as we separated after the waltz. Once more I walk three paces behind and we do not touch. I smile as I can feel my mate in my heart and in my soul. His soft words of love filling my mind and heart calming my fears. Who is Sarek to me?

Sarek is my Mate… My husband and My lover.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Journal.

Oh yes this is a handwritten note.

I can not believe it we have lost power again at the Consulate.

Yes it is hard to believe that in this day and age we can lose power. Here we are only meters away form the Federations seat of government power and we are sitting in the dark. Ok not in

the dark but on emergency lighting. I am sitting here with pen in hand writing to calm down. It has been such a ridiculously hard day. I still can not believe that someone tried to kill off all of the federations leaders. A human at that. O damn it I might as well be honest an enhanced human. How could this be? Lord I am so afraid what happens if the authorities start to look around for enhanced humans again? It is not as if anything has ever really changed with the laws. We are still considered a danger and we can still be rounded up and locked up. Poor Sarek I wonder if he had any idea what he was getting when he bonded with me. First there was the fact that I hide being a telepath…. Strike that maybe I should not put this down on paper…. Oh Hades I am on Vulcan soil so it should be safe. My beloved mate would protect me no matter what. My Mate …

my husband he has suffered so many shocks since we bonded. The kidnapping ,his little swim and then finding our I am a telepath. Now he has learned why and that the enhanced human race has only been hiding. Now he must deal with the Ceti issue and that many of the people there are telepaths like me. Sometimes I think I must exhaust my Vulcan mate.

I love Sarek and soon I must shock him again. I am with child. A miracle that we did not think could happen. The healers say I will need some work done on the fetus. I told them that it was child not a fetus. Sometimes Vulcan's annoy me with their clinical style.

Back to it … Sarek will be so shocked and concerned. We did not know that the planet would affect the development of a child. I am really afraid when I think of Miranda Jones. I am concerned because the House of Surak is filled with gifted telepaths and My own line is strong.

What will this mean to our baby getting this little boost? I worry that it will endanger our child. Our child that will be half Vulcan and half human. Or will he be that? What are they calling the people of Ceti now. Home Beta Ceti. Lord what a mouthful. My Vulcan Mate will not like this. Vulcan/Human hybrid he can handle I think….. Maybe I just will wait and tell him latter about the baby. He might not guess the implications…

What do you think Journal can I pull it off and shield the information from My Mate?

Should I shield him? He is after all Vulcan. No…. He is my husband and My Mate and should not have to worry about this too.

Maybe I will just wait to tell him. After all he is my husband and lover. My soul Mate not my keeper.

A Vulcan mate protects her other half that is what T' ' Lara told me it is why we walk behind to protect their backs. Yes this is not something he has seen coming it is unnecessary to worry my mate.

--------------------------------------

It has been an other long day. I watch as Sarek tries to write in his journal. I have asked that he record some of his thoughts about our marriage and our life. The pained look he gets makes me wonder if perhaps I was wrong to ask t his of him? No writing is a good way to explore ones feelings. I know I know Vulcan's try to pretend they do not have feelings. Let me tell you a little secret. They have them and they can be a pain to deal with. Sometimes one offends them even if they pretend not to be offended the difficulty remains. So, the journal seemed a good way for me to get Sarek to examine the situation in a more… Neutral way. I know he meditates but that is not the same thing at all. Meditation sets emotion aside into a little box to be ignored or pushed away. I am human and I need emotions. Sometime Sarek must learn to see things from a human view. I do not ask that he accept or even try to embrace emotions rather that he examines the implications of Emotion on how it can and does affect me and thus our bonding. I am not certain this will work but … I have to try something.

I know he cares for me but it is hard for him to understand why we are emotional. Vulcan's have violent emotions and they fear this side of their nature. It is therefore hard for them to embrace the gentler ones such as love. Passion and curiosity they accept but love that confuses them. The Vulcan race are deeply devoted to their mates and in most cases they bond for life. Yet even in this sacred relationship there is a subtle fear. They seem to have this mask in place and it can be truly maddening. I believe that since they are bonded as children they do tend to learn about each other and understand each other well by the time them marry. I do not however have that 50 or 60 year history so I need to understand Sarek on a differing level. Perhaps they do communicate differently but I am still learning so meeting me part way would help ease my frustrations. I sometimes feel Like I fail my beloved Sarek because I can not intuitively sense his needs.

---------------------------------

Well the lights are back on thank the lords. It seems that some idiot in a fliter crashed against the grid. It would seem that even in these modern times drunk drivers can be dangerous. Sarek seemed quite pleased at the news that I am expecting our first child. He even smiled at me. I could hardly believe it. It was not one of his half smiles either but a real show me your teethe smile. I could have fainted right then and there had he not been holding me close. I had expected pleasure and joy a subdued joy. Sarek however almost jumped up and down… Well maybe not that much… I did get a hug and I am so Pleased from him. I suppose that is the equivalent of jumping up and down and shouting. I told him he would have to pass out the cigars and he looked at me blankly. I guess dad did not fill him in on that custom. I admit to being pleased by his reaction. Then he said I had to go home to Vulcan. That did not please me as much. The reasons are of course logical and I know the best care will be available for our baby. Maybe I am just afraid that if I give in on this I will always give in. After all the child will be both Vulcan and Human won't it?