Disclaimer: don't own show or song.

Title: Cold, Cold Heart

Chapter one: Cold, Cold Heart (songfic-thingy, lyrics italicized, doesn't use all the lyrics)

I tried so hard my dear to show, that you're my every dream…

Shuuichi leaned down and softly kissed the sleeping angel, careful not to awaken him. He wanted to, but the last thing he needed was for his lover to wake up—especially now, with the pink-haired singer holding a packed suitcase in his hand.

'Yuki, I'll miss you, but I can't do this any longer…I'm too weak to fight anymore to get you to love me.' Shuuichi felt the tears well up in his violet eyes, his lips trembling as the unspoken words flitted through his head. Agonizingly he watched his lover sleep; his heart breaking with each prolonged second it took him to pry himself away from the sight.

A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart…

'Why did Kitazawa have to turn you into such a frigid person? Why? Why can't I get you to love me? You always see him instead of me…I…why can't you realize I'm not like him, I won't hurt you…I won't betray you, I love you, Yuki.'

He thought of the past few weeks, how everything seemed to be working out—he thought he finally broke through the novelist's outer shield surrounding his heart. Now he knew he hadn't—or if he had, Yuki had quickly reconstructed that shield, stronger than before. The novelist masked it well, but Shuuichi knew the care Yuki showed now was faked—he knew it in his heart, knew it from the uneasy feeling inside.

Yuki suddenly started caring too much…started being too protective….and then he asked the singer what Shuuichi loved more: him or singing? Shuuichi at first felt so touched by Yuki showing such concern, but the meaning of the question sunk in—Yuki didn't know what Shuuichi cared about most.

'If you've been paying attention to me, you would know…why would you need to ask me a question you would know the answer to if you only looked at me?'

Another love before my time made your heart sad and blue

And so my heart is paying now for things I didn't do.

'Kitazawa…you still love him, don't you? He hurt you, but you love him…he betrayed you, but you feel guilty still for killing him…you think you betrayed him by doing so….Yuki, I don't know what to do. How can I stop you from hurting because of him?' Shuuichi gazed down at the closed eyes of his lover and love, wishing for them to open and answer his silent questions…wishing they would open before he got the strength to walk out of the apartment with his suitcase.

Everyday felt like a knife poking at his heart—Yuki was kinder now, true, but Shuuichi knew it wasn't because the novelist loved him…the novelist loved Kitazawa…and saw the man in the singer instead of seeing Shuuichi as Shuuichi.

'Yuki, please, why can't you love me? I feel myself die a little more each day when you don't say you do, and I feel even more of me die when I do hear you say those words and realize they aren't to me. They are to the ghost of Kitazawa you see in me…god, why can't I make you love me?'

There was a time when I believed that you belonged to me

But now I know your heart is shackled to a memory

Shuuichi turned away from the sleeping angel, and walked to the door of the room before looking back, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Yuki, I love you…."

The more I learn to care for you the more we drift apart

In silence Shuuichi turned away and walked out the front door, not noticing or caring as rain pelted down and soaked him thoroughly. All he cared about he was leaving behind…it hurt too much to leave, but it hurt worse to stay. Trembling, he took off the headphones on his ears just as the last lyric passed:

Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?

"Yuki…."

A/N: End chapter, please review. It's the first time I wrote a song-fic thingy, and it's not exactly like some of the ones I read before that are mainly the lyrics…I only used the lyrics to help with the mood, plus the song's by my favorite country singer who's been dead for years before I was born…I grew up listening to him because of my dad.

(Yeah, I listen to country—I listen to almost any kind of music actually, I just grew up listening to old country—I don't care that much for the new country music, it's been influenced too much by pop music. The only country singers I like are Hank Williams Sr. and Reba McEntire. Other than that I don't care).

Credits: Song: Cold, Cold Heart Hank Williams Sr.