Mystery Danny Theater 3000
Disclaimer: I STILL don't own anything.
Danny, Tom, Crow, Ron, and Sam walk out of the theater. The film on "Reign Storm" had messed up. "Hello," Dr. Forrester said.,"With Reign Storm gone, I have been told to send you the worst movie EVER made…" "Oh no," Ron said, "not…" "Oh yes," Dr. Forrester said, "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie. Now get in the theater before I shut off life support."
ALL: WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!
(They file into the theater. )
MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE
DIRECTED BY BRYAN SPICER
Danny: So, what's so horrible about this movie?
Ron: Besides it exists?
FADE IN:
BLACK SCREEN
Words SCRAWL UP ON SCREEN and we hear a RESOUNDING VOICE.
VOICE
In a time of great strife, a
legendary interdimensional being
known as Zordon, came to the city
of Angel Grove
Crow: Come on, why not Devil Grove? It's much nicer!
to establish a
vanguard in the never ending
struggle against evil. with the
aid of his trusted assistant,
Alpha 5, the noble master sought
out six extraordinary teenagers
and gave them the power to
Ron: (VOICE) Stink worse than any other television show, yet still sell toys.
transform into an unstoppable
fighting force. In time of great
need, the young heroes could now
call upon colossal assault
vehicles known as "Zords". while
the identity of the six remained
a guarded secret, their
courageous exploits soon became
the stuff of Legend, earning them
the title...
Tom: (VOICE) Mighty Moshing Emo Rangers!
The Mighty Morphin
Power Rangers.
We hear PUMPING ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC as the POWER RANGER'S LOGO
BURST'S ONTO THE SCREEN. Now the logo EXPLODES, revealing
Tom: Jack Fenton in a Speedo! Oh The HUMANITY!
1 EXT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 1
A prop plane whisking across the deep blue sky.
ROCKY
YeeeoowwWWWWW!!!
2 INT. PROP PLANE / FLYING - DAY 2
The six Power Rangers, TOMMY, KIMBERLY, BILLY, AISHA, ADAM and
ROCKY sport sleek sky diving suits, parachute packs and
helmets. Tommy is strapped into a high-tech airboard.
ROCKY
We're OUTTA here!!
Danny: (ROCKY) Yeah! Let's go get in a REAL movie!
KIMBERLY
Easy, Rock.
TOMMY
Once we hit the target zone we've
got fifteen seconds to make
Ronnie: (TOMMY) Smoothies. I'm really thirsty.
the
drop.
BULK (0 . S .)
Step aside, pinheads.
BULK and SKULL push their way through the Rangers, decked
in bizarre skydiving regalia, topped off by World War II
leather caps and aviator goggles.
BULK
The Stealth Eagle is about to
fly.
SKULL
Ditto for the Swooping Swallow.
The Rangers exchange amused looks. Aisha gestures to them
AISHA
Lead on, flyboys.
Bulk and Skull swagger to the door and open it - the ground
is a dizzying distance below. They swallow hard.
SKULL
Bulk... where'd the earth go?
BILLY
Five seconds to the target zone!
TOMMY
Aisha you' re on !
Bulk and Skull step aside, Aisha LAUNCHES herself.
The others follow through the opening with flair.
ROCKY
Stylin!
ADAM
On your tail!
BILLY
All systems
Tommy and Kimberly share an infectious glance, Kimberly
a hand, indicating Tommy should go first.
TOMMY
Surf's up!
He's gone. Kimberly stands backwards in the doorway.
Ron: (KIMBERLY) Um… We're all out of 90's clichés, and 5 year olds won't get 80's ones.
KIMBERLY
Catch you on the flipside.
Bulk and Skull watch wide-eyed as she BACK-FLIPS
out of the plane.
3 EXT. SKY - DAY
ROCK AND ROLL fills the track as the Rangers plunge towards
earth, executing a series of MIND-BOGGLING MANEUVERS: SPINS,
FISHTAILS, POWER DIVES, BACK FLIPS, you name it.
Crow: Ooh! Plummet! Plu-mmet! Plu-mmet!
(all join in) Plu-mmet! Plu-mmet! PLU-MMET! PLU-MMET! PLU-MMET!
4 INT. PROP PLANE - DAY 4
Bulk and Skull psyche themselves up.
BULK
Be the eagle. Be the eagle.
SKULL
Be the swallow. Be the
swallow...
They take deep breaths then CHARGE THE DOOR.
BULK AND SKULL
Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
Naturally, they get STUCK, wedged shoulder to shoulder.
THE PILOT glances back, CHUCKLES and BANKS THE PLANE.
5 EXT. PROP PLANE - BARREL-ROLLING - DAY
Bulk and Skull rotate into frame. Now, facing straight down --
they FALL INTO CAMERA, CLINGING TO EACH OTHER DESPERATELY
BULK AND SKULL
YEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!
6 EXT. SKY - DAY
The Rangers pull off more SPECTACULAR MANEUVERS
then swoop TOGETHER, interlocking hands and forming a
PERFECT CIRCLE
Ron: No it isn't, it's not even a real circle! It's ovular circlenium!
(silence)
Bad pun?
Crow: Yup.
They look to one another and a moment of pure magic passes
between them. It's not usual the exhilaration of flight they're
sharing, it s the exhilaration of togetherness, of being part
of a team.
TOMMY
Let's BREAK
Tom: (TOMMY) OUR BONES!
Sam: (TOMMY) THIS CHAIN OF IDIOCY!
Danny: (TOMMY) THE CAMEL'S BACK!
Crow: (TOMMY) OUR PARACHUTES!
Ron: (TOMMY) THE PROJECTOR SO THE MOVIE WON'T CONTINUE!
They disperse and yank their rip-cords. The sky BURSTS TO LIFE
WITH SIX BLOSSOMING PARACHUTES -- white, pink, blue, yellow ,
red and black in color.
7 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 7
FAMILIES eat hot dogs and cotton candy at a huge fundraiser .
A large banner proclaims "SAVE THE OBSERVATORY." We see
diving teams with labeled uniforms -- the BOWLING TEAM, ANGEL
GROVE P.D. and the FIRE DEPARTMENT. There s a large white
"BULLSEYE" spray-painted on the grass. The city's
spectacular large skyline rises out of the b.g.
A SPUNKY MR. KELMAN stands at a podium, speaking into a mic.
MR. KELMAN
Okay, so the firemen landed four
out of six inside the target --
A BOWLER shouts out playfully.
BOWLER
How bout a show tune?!
Mr. Kelman feigns seriousness.
MR. KELMAN
Somebody wanna keep chose bowlers
in line.
A hip thirteen year old, FRED KELMAN, yells out as he points
to the sky.
FRED
Hey dad, get with the program!
MR. KELMAN
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Angel
Grove High
ANGEL ON TARGET - AS AISHA touches down flawlessly.
Ron: I see a flaw! It's really a stuntgirl!
MR. KELMAN
And that's one! A perfect
landing!
Aisha clears, then Billy and Adam land toqether.
MR. KELMAN
Three for three. Look at em go!
Billy and Adam clear and now Rocky and Kimberly come in.
MR. KELMAN
That's five perfect landings!
Now it's all up to Tommy Oliver.
Everybody watches with dumbfounded expressions as Tommy SAILS
IN ON HIS AIR BOARD AND SLIDES INTO DEAD CENTER. He spreads
his arms wide.
TOMMY
Touch down.
Crow: That's football stupid! "OH MY GOSH I MADE IT OUT ALIVE!" is skydiving!
The families CHEER and APPLAUD as they surge forward to
congratulate the Rangers.
Mr. Kelman and Fred approach Tommy - Fred and Tommy exchange
stylish hand slaps.
FRED
Looking good up there.
TOMMY
Thanks, man.
MR. KELMAN
Congratulations - the
Observatory's got a new lease on
life.
FRED
Awesome! Ryan's Comet is passing
over in two days!
The other Rangers approach.
AISHA
Who's up for lunch?
ROCKY
You read my mind.
KIMBERLY
Last one to Ernies buys.
ADAM
Let's roll!
8 EXT. ANGEL GROVE PARK - DAY 8
We hear a VOCIFEROUS SISSING SOUND, but we can't see where
Sam: What in the world is a sissing sound?
Tom: I hear it's similar to the sound a mattress makes when it globbers.
it's
coming from. - Suddenly the six Rangers come SCREAMING
Crow: in rage about the lawsuits they've received from people their giant robot stepped on.
AROUND A
CORNER ON STATE-OF-THE-ART ROLLERBLADES.
Ron: (MIKE THE TV) That's right, new, state of the art roller blades! They slice, they dice, they scream! All this can be yours for the low, low price of 99.99.99!
Crow: This riff brought to you by the people at The Java hut- all the ReBoot news fit to print!
These kids are FLYING!!
Tom: You'll believe these kids can fly!
We hear FULL-THROTTLED MUSIC as the kids WEAVE, DUCK and SWERVE
like blading virtuosos. Tommy LEAPS in the air, does a 180 and
SKATES BACKWARD.
THE HIGH BRANCHES.past a large tree as Bulk and Skull DROP INTO
FRAME
SKULL
Stealth Eagle, huh? The Lame
Duck is more like it!
9 EXT. CITY STREET - DAY 9
The Rangers GLIDE around another corner -- there's buildings on
one side of them and a construction site on the other.
TOMMY
Let's take the shortcut!
Tommy leads them up a plywood ramp -- they LAUNCH TEN FEET
THROUGH THE AIR, PULLING OFF HAIR-RAISING
Crow: What hare? I don't see any rabbits!
FREE STYLE MOVES THEN
MAKE SPECTACULAR LANDINGS on the construction site parking
structure.
As they shoot across the concrete, the CAMERA PUSHES IN on:
EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRZUCTION SITE - DAY
Danny: What the heck is a constrzuction site?
Ron: It's where something's being bzuilt, duh!
10
... WORKERS operating heavy machinery -- cranes, bulldozer ,
etc., Construction Worker jackhammers solid rock. Drill
makes a CLANGING SOUND as it HITS METAL! A baffled look comes
over him as he stops the jackhammer, brushes away debris..
uncovering an ANCIENT IRON PLATE. He gapes at it, too stunned
to
Crow: do anything but run around screaming like an idiot.
speak.
11 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - SHORT TIME LATER 11
A large hook has been fastened to the iron plate -- a crane
ENGINE ROARS as it HOISTS THE PLATE UP, revealing a CAVERNOUS
OPENING.
TWO MORE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS have joined the first, all of
them look on in amazement.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2
Whadda you figure it is?!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1
Hey, ya got me.
Suddenly a PURPLE STEAM POURS from the opening. And now
something really amazing happens. ..
A menacing STONE CLAW RISES UP, CRADLING A HUGE STONE
CONSTRUCTION WORKER # 1
... I'll be darned.
As though drawn by it's power, he moves to touch it.
KZAAAAAAP?!! APURPLE BEAM OF LIGHT BLASTS HIM -- SENDS HIM
FLYING TEN FEET THROUGH THE AIR!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1
AHHHHHHHHH!
Tom: (CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1) My existence is meaningless! I don't even have a name!
11A EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY 11A
A T.V. REPORTER is talking into camera.
REPORTER
We're here at the World Center
Construction Site, where a
mysterious object was just
uncovered in a freak accident in
which one workman suffered minor
injuries...
12
12
thru OMITTED
All: Hoorah!
13 13
13A INT. ERNIE'S WATERFRONT CAFE - DAY 13A
CLOSE ON - T.V. SCREEN
We see the reporter then a few cuts of GEOLOGISTS combing the
site with scanning equipment and COPS sealing off the area with
Ron: Silly putty! Everyone knows it'll hold!
yellow tape.
REPORTER
... Angel Grove Police have
cordoned off the area until it
can be determined whether or not
the unidentified object poses any
threat. The injured workman was
quoted as saying...
PULL BACK TO REVEAL A CAFE.
The Rangers are at a table -- Tommy is teaching Fred martial arts
moves.
TOMMY
It's one smooth move and then
you've gotta explode
Crow: (TOMMY) Literally! Blow yourself up! It'll shorten the movie!
off the top.
Tommy executes a wicked JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK. Fred is
wowed. He drops into position.
TOMMY
Nice and easy.
The jovial proprietor, ERNIE, approaches the Rangers' table
with a loaded tray. Fred pulls off a dazzling JUMPING
ROUNDHOUSE KICK and almost knocks Ernie's tray over.
ERNIE
Hey, no Karate on the patio!
FRED
Actually, Ernie, it's Tae-Kwan
Doe.
ERNIE
Well Tae-Kwan-Do-it some place
else.
Sam: AHHHH! THE PUN! IT BURNS!!!!!
Fred moves off as Ernie serves the desserts.
ERNIE
So, what're the plans for the
weekend?
KIMBERLY
Aisha and.I are checking out a
new dance spot.
AISHA
I heard that!
BILLY
I'll be at the Observatory
Sunday.
ERNIE
That's right - Ryan's Comet.
ROCKY
We should throw a little comet
shindig.
ADAM
Any excuse for a party.
Aisha reacts to something off screen.
AISHA
The Eagle has landed.
Bulk and Skull swagger past followed by a GROUP OF KIDS.
BULK
The earth was hurtling toward us
at seven hundred miles per hour,
and we knew at that moment that
we were facing death straight in
the eye.
SKULL
We could smell it's breath.
Ernie moves off after Bulk and Skull. Tommy's wrist
communicator BEEPS. The kids exchange glances than look
Tom: (TOMMY) Oh, I thought I had it on vibrate!
for a
private area.
Crow: They went in his-
Danny: CROOOOOW!
ROCKY
There's a spot over there.
They move out of everybody's sight.
TOMMY (into communicator)
What's up, Alpha?
Sam: Are the other letters of the Greek alphabet involved?
Ron: (SPONGEBOB) Yep! All 486 of them!
Crow: You walked right into that one, Sam.
ALPHA 5 (V.O.)
Rangers, we need you at the
Command Center, L.R.N. !
Aisha gives Kimberly a puzzled look.
Ron: (KIMBERLY) Lewd Reptiles Nude!
Crow: (KIMBERLY) Lick Right Nostril!
Tom: You guys took the good ones!
KIMBERLY
'Like Right Now.'
TOMMY
We're on our way.
They hit their wrist-communicators and instantly TRANSFORM
INTO SIX IRIDESCENT COLUMNS OF COLOR. The columns SHOOT UP
THROUGH a giant oak tree, KNOCKING LEAVES LOOSE.