Tears and Rain

Summary: It was like they'd forgotten everything they'd ever been, everything they were supposed to be…

Author's Note: It's been so long since I've written and I've been wanting to post something new…and this is the result! I was inspired by "Tears and Rain" by James Blunt…hence the title…I hope you like it and reviews are more than welcome!

Disclaimer: If they were mine, the eighth season would've been much different…if the song were mine...well, I'd be rich...but I'm not, so it's not...

The way she feels about him has never been anything less than explosive. First it was hatred, boiling, passionate hatred. Then it was infatuation, crazy, wild, desperate infatuation. Next it was a mix, a sort-of friendship that was full of unspoken desire and repressed feelings. Then, that summer came. To sum it up in a word, lust. She wanted Steven Hyde in a way she could never want another, and that summer was the end of her resistance. She gave into him, into them. Soon after the lust turned into a relationship, and out of nowhere, it was love. Love that could be scorching but tender, painful yet pleasureful, caring and understanding, but still wild and stubborn. The truth was they'd matched each other in a way nobody else could match them separately. He grounded her, made her less selfish, made her smile and she, she made him care, made him open, made him happy.

Of course, their tumultuous relationship could never stay one way for long. Love became hurt, distrust, betrayal, anger, loss, destruction. From that, they became...nothing. Not enemies, not friends, not a couple, not lovers, just two people who knew each other. It was like they'd forgotten everything they'd ever been, everything they were supposed to be.

She takes a swallow from the bottle of vodka, wincing at the taste; it hurts so bad that it's good. Sort of like them, once upon a time. She hates getting in moods like this, drunken, emotional sentimental moods that lead to tears.

She stumbles to the balcony of her tiny apartment and stares up at the cloudy night sky. When the rain begins to fall, soaking her, she finally lets go. The tears stream down her cheeks, a weakness that she rarely lets herself indulge in. She cries for him, them, herself, all the things she's lost in this life. She stays there, in the pouring rain until she can't tell if she's crying tears or rain.