Life as we know it…is about to end. We don't even know…

No, I'm just fukcing with you because I am procratiniting on my homework… and this story. I really should start writing it. I'm at my vacation house, and my intenet is non-existant here…so I have nothing better to do. Oh. BTW, I don't' correxcr rh e spelliug in my authors norees. As tyou can tekk, Ilm vety very lazy when I TYPE AND usually hit keys nexyt to the ones I want, esoectrially right now,w ith me new keyboard which is really screwing me up. Hopwfully I'll get better aqt it. Hopefuklly. Anyqay. Onto the disclaimer.

Uhm….i don't' own pirates. Although jack is mine. I'm marrying him, you know. Yeah, real nice church, lotsa rum (his decision), you know… it's gunna be a good time. Pirates and my very proper family. I wanna write a fanfic about thatnpw! That'll be the next one. For now, I giotta di this. Well, on the with story. And on with food typing

(YHSat was supposed to be good, not food)

oh. And any original charries are MINE. MIIINE. –eats you all again- I'm gunna get fat doing this…

She laid on her floor, her laptop on her stomach. She glared at the screen in front of her, its brilliant colors absent. "I hate Microsoft word." She growled, ready to punch the screen. Then she remembered the last time she had done that… White lines had appeared on the screen, and they didn't go away. She refrained from smashing her new, very expensive laptop. She instead growled and pounded the floor with the side of her fist. College essays where no fun. Especially when you procrastinate and leave it to the night before it's due. Her room was dark, the only light coming from the half filled page. It stood, mocking her with its emptiness.

"Damn essay…. I don't care about mother fucking pilgrims…" She glowered. It would be much more exciting to write about pirates. They actually did stuff. The pilgrims found an island and built a few houses. Pirates killed people and took their stuff. Yeah, pirates where better. "I don't care how goddamn hard it was for the pilgrims. In my opinion, well…. I don't really care. So what if they had it hard? The Egyptians had it hard! They had to build pyramids. These little frail English people had to gather plants and build one story houses." She went on like this for quite a while, and her third paragraph and conclusion still remained unfinished. She finally laid her head back to rest and fell asleep entirely.

As she began to awake, she felt that something was different. She could already tell that the air was cleaner, crisper. None of that California exhaust weighing it down. "Maybe I'm in Greenland or something." She said, pushing herself up onto her elbows. But it didn't feel cold. In fact, it reminded her of Florida. "Global warming IS a serious problem…poor polar bears will die of heatstroke…oh god, are there polar bears here?" Her whispers rang through the place, unnoticed. She looked wildly around, blinking twice. It was very early morning and not much could be seen. "Please don't eat me, mister polar bear…" She begged. That's when she realized that her computer was not on her stomach like before. "Oh god… It didn't fall right? That's another $3,000 for a computer that broke!" Suddenly, she heard a man screaming. "Thank god… wait… what if he's being eaten by the polar bears!" Her thoughts drifted in and out of decisions of weather to go to him or not. She shrugged. If there WAS a polar bear, she would find out. Dead man, polar bear, no dead man, no polar bear. She got up and ran in the general direction of the screaming. For whatever reason, snow did not cover the ground. She seemed to be running downhill. She didn't know too much about the climate of Greenland, but she guessed that if it was melted because of global warming, then it would be flooded. And it wasn't. She felt wood underneath her feet. Where there Eskimos in Greenland? Where there trees in Greenland? She took another step and it seemed she dropped off Greenland. She just fell. She hit water and was ready for the immense cold, but it never came. It was warm…very warm. Comfortable. "We really are underestimating global warming…" She murmured, swimming forward. Her head knocked into something. She winced, wood splitting her head. "Fuck…" She swore, swimming back. She grabbed hold of the decks above her. Well, tried to grab hold of the decks. "SHIT!" She yelled, doing the best she could to jump in water. The man's voice suddenly stopped. Footsteps walked over the hollow docks to where she treaded water.

"Do you need help, missy?" The man asked. His voice was obviously British. The memory of her friend coming into orchestra shouting 'Kill the brits!' ran through her head.

"Yes, please, I need to get out of the water, I can't reach the dock." She said, her face turning bright red. She was thankful for the cover of darkness. The man extended a hand, and she grabbed it gratefully. She could feel that it had many rings on it. She pulled most of her weight up herself. She wrung out her hair onto to now soaked deck beneath her. "Thank you." She said, smiling at him.

"No problem, love." He said, and began to walk back to his former spot. "Come on!" He called, waving her over. She cocked her head, not sure why he wanted her. However, she ran over to him.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Get on me ship. We'll be leaving by first light. You can take a place in my cabin, but don't go looking through any drawers, savvy?" He asked. She stood there, shocked.

"What? You just expect me to get on your ship? What if you're a serial killer?" She asked, wondering how this man could image anyone nowadays would get on some random person's ship at NIGHT. Especially ones who used 'me' instead of 'my'.

He nodded. "Yep. I sure do. If ye stay here, the…inhabitants of this place will have their way with ye as soon as they see ya." He said, pushing her toward the plank aboard the ship. "Go on, get on! 'S a ship, 's not poison or anything." He said, pushing her further. She sighed and walked up on deck, hoping her virginity or life would not be destroyed before she returned home. The man boarded the ship a half hour or so later, as did about fifteen others.

"CAST OFF!" He shouted, and the other men got to work. The girl had indeed taken residence in the man's cabin, and she had gone through drawers. So far she had found nothing but maps, a gold necklace with a pearl in the center, and an empty glass bottle. The man walked into the room. It was better lit than the night sky, and for once she got a good look at him. He had long, dark hair, a red bandana in it, many beads tied into his hair, a long dark jacket over a 1700's shirt with brown boots.

"OHMYGOD." She screamed, looking at him. "YOU'RE JOHNNY DEPP!" She yelled, staring at him. "Why are you in costume? You're not shooting are you? Oh shit, did I interrupt the movie?" She asked.

"Movie? Johnny Depp? No, love. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" He shouted, his voice filled with pride.

"Oh." She said, her voice seemed rather disappointed. "I was hoping you where Johnny Depp." She said. Jack shook his head.

"No Johnny. Now. Who are you?" He asked as he looked over her. She was wearing a lime green tank top and jeans. A blue beaded bracelet hung from her arm. A blue rectangular stone on a silver chair adorned her neck.

"My name is Ava." She said simply. Jack thought this over.

"Well, hello, Ava. I have a question for you. Why are you wearing such… open clothes?" He asked. Ava cocked her head.

"It's a tank top and jeans. You're the one with the coat in the global warming." She observed.

"Global warming?" Jack shook his head and dismissed the thought. "Look at you! No sleeves, nothin'!" He exclaimed.

"Whatever. I have to ask you a question. Are we in Greenland?" She asked. Jack began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Greenland? Jesus, no! Just left Tortuga, love." He managed to choke out between bursts of laughter. Ava crossed her arms.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" She yelled. "Are you a pirate?" She asked. Her tone had totally changed. Like a mood swing, actually. Jack turned totally serious.

"What if I am?" He asked, standing up straight.

"Then… uhm, I'm more interested in you than the Pilgrims I had to write about." She said. Jack nodded.

"Then yes, I'm a pirate." He said. She smiled.

"Awesome, I know a pirate…Now, where are we going?" She asked. Jack shrugged.

"Jamaica." He said.

"Why are we going there?" Ava asked. She knew that Jamaica was a bit sketchy nowadays, especially where they would be safe.

"It's a safe place. Rocky Bay is the exact port. We'll be headin' to a place called Sandy Hills." Jack explained. "We'll make it there in… er…nine days or so. For now, do what you wish, and for the sleeping…we'll arrange that tonight."

A/N-All the places in this are real. Rocky Bay, sandy hills, all real. In 1734. I'm looking at maps from 1690-1740 and getting these. Of course they're all in the carribean. Trying to judge actual distances too. REALLY TRYING HARD HERE PEOPLE.

Please review, I'm tying to get the charries on riht… although only 1 not OC has appeared…. We'll just forget about that bit, alright? ;)