Chapter Nine - Seven Days, Seven Nights

Chapter Nine - Seven Days, Seven Nights

Speed stared at the morphine button in his hand. He'd been trying to see how long he could handle the pain before using it. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, and noted it had been over half an hour. Which meant he had also been awake that long. Much as the morphine dulled the pain, it also caused side effects. The worst of them being frightening dreams and hallucinations; one of the reasons why he now forced himself to stay awake. Another side effect was itching. "Feels like I've got poison ivy," he thought. "And there's not even much I can do about it because I only have one hand to scratch with."

Then there was the severe nausea he had to contend with which caused him to retch, even though there was nothing in his stomach. It was something which his doctor and nurses had been trying to rectify. Because of his broken nose he couldn't smell anything. Not that it mattered as he didn't have any appetite. The nurses tried everything they could do to get him to eat more, but he just couldn't; the very thought of eating brought bile to his throat.

"Speed," Dr. Cardiovas had said, "You know if you don't start eating more soon we're going to have to put a feeding tube in you. And because of your broken nose we'll either have to put it down your throat or through your stomach, which would require a surgical procedure. I honestly don't think, physically, your body could handle it. If we put it down your throat, you won't be able to talk."

Speed sighed resignedly. "Whatever...I really don't care...anymore...Do what ya...gotta do..."

Now he sat in bed, waiting for Dr. Cardiovas to tell him when they'd insert the tube. "It's not like I've got all that much energy to talk, anyway." But he had no trouble thinking and his mind, now that he was awake, had gone into over-drive. "I wish they'd tell me how bad my injuries are. They keep changing the subject when I ask. Why won't they let me look in a mirror? I know I've got a broken nose and some stitches, so it's not like I'll be shocked if I find out I look like Frankenstein's monster or something. Besides, I really can't worry about my face when the rest of my body feels like it's being ripped apart." He gritted his teeth as he tried to resist pressing the button.

One thing he was glad about was that he had been moved to one of the two private cubicles in the ICU. The staff didn't have much choice after a visitor had been caught attempting to photograph him. Speed couldn't believe that anyone visiting a desperately ill loved one in the ICU would concern themselves with snapping photos of him. "Takes all kinds..." he mused. With a sigh he closed his eyes.

"Hi honey," a voice whispered in his ear.

His eyes fluttered open. "Hi baby..." he whispered.

Trixie smiled. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No...I've been sitting here waiting...for Dr. Cardiovas..."

"Oh." Her expression turned sad. "I hate that they're going to give you a feeding tube. If only you'd eat something, Speed."

"I tried...I really did." He shook his head. "I'm feeling too sick to eat."

Trixie noticed the button in his hand. "When's the last time you used the drip?"

"Over half an hour ago...Can't stand the way it makes me feel..." He tried to straighten as a cough hit him. "Been coughing...a lot. Nurse Karen said it's good...clears out my lungs. Hurts like hell, though..."

"I can imagine. I think it's doing you some good, because you sound a lot better, not as out of breath as when you first woke up."

Speed nodded. "Yeah...Although I'm still feeling really tired." He sighed. "They won't tell me how bad my...injuries are. Why? Don't I have the right...to know?"

Trixie pursed her lips. Should she tell him? One look at the determined expression on his face and she knew she had to. "I can tell you, If you really want to know."

"I do...I want to know everything... What I'm up against," he said.

"Okay. Well, your right arm is broken, as you already know." He slowly nodded. "Your chest was crushed when it got pressed against the steering wheel."

He again nodded. "That must be why it hurts so much...when I breathe."

"You've got that morphine button, you should use it."

He shook his head. "No...I can handle it. The morphine is making me feel...weird...So what else happened to me...?"

"Your right leg was nearly severed above the knee, but the doctors managed to save it. There are also bad burns on it; they're going to do some skin grafts when you're stronger."

He attempted a chuckle but it fell short. "Funny...My leg's about the only thing that doesn't hurt."

She smiled and squeezed his good hand. "Do you want to know anything else?"

"Everything... all my injuries," he said. "I want...to know just how bad off...I am..."

"Okay... They had to remove your spleen because it ruptured. Your right kidney was also injured; they're hoping it will heal well enough that they won't have to remove it. Then there's your face. You kind of slumped down in the seat when you crashed. Your visor shattered and your face smashed into the top part of the steering wheel. Your nose is broken, also your eye sockets. You've got a couple of nasty cuts on your face that they stitched up, too."

"Dear God…" he said as he took his hand from Trixie's and felt the bandage on his nose and the puffiness around it. "I must look like a monster...

"You look a lot better than when you first got here."

"My nose is all stuffy and my vision is kinda blurry... "

"They took the packing out of your nose, but I guess it would still feel like that. What did you mean by your vision being blurry?" she asked with a hollow feeling in her stomach. The doctor said he might have impaired vision.

"I dunno my eyes just don't feel right... I..." He shook his head unable to explain what he meant. "I just can't see things so...clearly sometimes, that are all...Once in a while I get double vision..."

She didn't want him to know how worried she was so she said, "I'm sure that as you heal your vision will improve. If not, glasses aren't that big a deal."

"Glasses..." He tried to picture himself in glasses and shrugged. "I guess after all this other stuff...I could handle it."

"You probably won't even need them. Your eye sockets still have to heal."

"True..." He closed his eyes feeling overwhelmed. "With all these injuries I'm surprised I'm even...alive..."

Trixie smiled. "You're a tough guy, Speed, a fighter. I think you amazed Dr. Cardiovas because he thought for sure you weren't going to make it."

He shrugged again. "I couldn't die...not without telling you how I felt. I think maybe...you are what kept me going. When I first woke up and saw you...that made me... want to live even more." His eyes glistened. "I love you Trixie... I love you so much...There were so many times I wanted to tell you that...But, I was scared...I guess I was afraid... it wouldn't seem very manly if I told you...my feelings..." He shook his head. "Damn...was I a jerk or what?"

"Yes, you were a jerk." She smiled mischievously. "But, I won't hold it against you if you make it up to me."

"When I get out of here...I'll make it up in ways you can't even imagine..." There was a gleam in his eye and for a moment he looked like he had never been in the crash.

"Hmmm..." she said softly, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too...Though I think... I'm gonna be here a long time..." He again closed his eyes as he thought of one more casualty of the crash. "The Mach Five...it must be wrecked."

"He doesn't remember the crash," Trixie thought. "Does he remember anything else about that day?"

A tear fell from his eye. "I wrecked the Mach Five...Pops must hate me so much...I don't blame him..."

Trixie's heart broke for him. "Speed, the Mach Five is fine. You weren't driving it in the race; you were driving the Blue Comet."

"Oh no..." He squeezed his eyes shut trying desperately to keep from completely falling apart. "Pops and Sparky's dream car...They both must hate me...Why didn't I die that day?"

"Gregory Racer don't you ever talk that way!" Trixie admonished him.

He sighed. "Sorry...I can't help it...I don't deserve to live after...ruining the Comet..."

Trixie attempted to comfort him. "Shhh...It's okay. Pops and Sparky don't hate you; they love you and don't give a damn about the Comet. Speed, the car can be rebuilt, but you could never be replaced. Please stop beating yourself up over something that was beyond your control."

"Beyond my control?" His voice was bitter. "I was the one driving...the car when it got wrecked...so it must be something I did... to cause it."

"No, there was something wrong with the Comet. You said..." her voice cracked as she remembered the incident, "right before you crashed that the brakes felt funny. I guess they gave out and that's why you hit the wall."

"Oh..."

"Pops said they're investigating the crash. In fact, he said that he and Sparky have to meet with the investigators this afternoon to see what they've found so far. But no matter what they find, all anybody cares about is that you're alive and you're going to get well. Everyone loves you, Speed. Especially me, more than words can say."

"And I love you... so much..." He reached his left hand up and tenderly stroked her cheek. "I wish I could...hold you in my arms..."

"Me, too." She gazed down at him and an idea came to her. "Maybe you can do that." She moved her chair so that she was next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Can you get your left arm around me?"

"Yeah...I think I can..." Making sure not to disturb the IV, he cautiously placed his arm around her. "You don't know how good I feel right now..."

"I think I do," she said in a soft voice.

He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, relishing her closeness. In spite of the pain he felt wonderful. "You are my reason...for living..." he murmured.

Trixie ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying how it felt to be in his arms. "I love you so much, Speed. I still can't believe how close I came to losing you."

"I'll never leave you, Trixie...I promise..." With that he brought his lips full on hers and put every last bit of his strength into a long, passionate kiss. He slowly pulled away and rested his head on the pillow, exhausted but happy. "You are so beautiful...and I love you..." he whispered as he fell into a deep, contented sleep.

She carefully pulled away from him, noticing that the morphine button hung over the side of the bed. "I think I'll leave it there. He can pull it up himself if he needs to use it." One more time she leaned over and kissed him before rising. As she turned towards the door she was startled to look up and see Nurses Julie and Karen standing in the doorway grinning.

"Well, it looks like Speed really is starting to feel better," Julie remarked.

"Sure does," Karen agreed. "When I saw his heart monitor going crazy at the nurse's station I was worried! Nice to see that he was being a typical guy."

"Men!" Julie exclaimed. "No matter how sick they are they always seem to have enough strength for some nookie!"

Both nurses burst out laughing while Trixie reddened from embarrassment. "We were only kissing, I swear!" she said; wishing she could crawl into a hole and die.

Julie placed her hand on her shoulder. "It's alright honey, we're just teasing you."

Trixie slowly nodded. "I know. I guess maybe I'm feeling a little guilty because he really needs his rest and I shouldn't have encouraged him."

"I don't think you did any harm," Julie said. "If anything I think it might have helped him. Look at that smile on his face!"

Trixie gazed down and noticing that there was indeed a smile on Speed's face. "I guess maybe it was a good thing. I know I'm very happy."

"I'm happy for the both of you, sweetie. Just try to take things a little slower," Julie said.

Trixie nodded. "Sure. Uh...Have you seen Speed's parents? I thought for sure they'd be here by now."

Karen said, "They're meeting with Speed's physicians. They're getting an update on his condition."

"I guess they're also discussing the feeding tube that Dr. Cardiovas wants to give Speed. I wish he would eat so that they wouldn't have to do that. I've tried everything and he just plain refuses to eat a thing."

"It's hard to eat when you don't have an appetite. Being on morphine doesn't make it any easier," Julie said.

"He hasn't been using it, he said it makes him feel weird, whatever that means," Trixie remarked.

Karen nodded. "It does have some rather nasty side effects, one of them being severe nausea." She gazed down at the slumbering young man. "Why don't we go out in the hall so we don't disrupt his sleep? I really do have to get back to the station anyway."

"I'm going to stay here a bit longer. I don't want to leave him just yet," Trixie said.

"Sure," Karen said. "Stay a while longer; I won't hold you to the fifteen minute visit limit since Speed's now in his own cubicle. Just remember to give yourself a break once in a while, okay?"

Trixie smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'm just going to stay a few more minutes then go down to the cafeteria for some coffee."

Mom and Pops left the meeting with Speed's doctors not sure how they should feel. "I can't believe how many physicians are involved with his case," Mom said. "I don't think I'll ever remember all their names."

"I don't care what their names are," Pops remarked. "All I care about is that they're taking excellent care of our son. We couldn't ask for better care. Each and everyone of them took their time with us, explained things in layman's terms so we'd understand. That vascular surgeon, Dr. Whazzisname...what he said about Speed's chances of walking again, he was honest about it. Less than fifty percent odds that he'll have full use of his leg. Doesn't sound good."

"No, those odds aren't good," Mom agreed. "But if I know Speed, dear, he'll buck those odds,"

"I know. And he'll push himself to the limit, even if it takes years."

They arrived at Speed's room just as Sparky was leaving. "Hi folks," he said.

"Good afternoon, Sparky," Mom said. "How's he doing?"

"About the same. Although, he's upset about the crash and wrecking the Blue Comet."

"He what?" Pops asked. "Who told him about what the crash?"

"He didn't say. He was bound to find out sooner or later and I think he does have the right to know what happened."

The Racer patriarch sighed. "Still, I was hoping to wait a few more days. His condition is so precarious. The doctors are worried about stress affecting his heart and breathing."

"He didn't seem distressed, Pops," the mechanic explained. "It was more like he was worried about you and me and the fact that we worked so long and hard on the car. He blames himself for the crash. I told him it was nonsense, but you know how he is. He said that when he's well enough, he wants to see a video tape of the crash."

"My poor baby..." Mom said, anguish in her voice as she turned to her husband. "You've got to let him know that you're not upset with him."

"I sure will," Pops said.

They held hands as they entered the room. Speed's eyes were closed and it looked as if he was asleep. "I think he's napping," Mom said.

"No, I'm not..." He opened his eyes; they were red-rimmed and glassy. There were tears in the corners as if he'd been crying. "Pops...I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry for what?" Pops asked.

"Sorry 'bout...the Blue Comet...I ruined your dream car..."

Pops pulled a chair up closer to his bed. "No, you didn't. We can rebuild the car and make it even better. But, if something happened to you, our lives would never be the same." He stroked Speed's hair. "I know I'm not the type to say mushy stuff, Speed, but I love you and when I thought we were going to lose you, I felt my world fall apart."

"Really, Pops?"

His father smiled. "Really. Now, you just concentrate on getting well and Sparky and I will concentrate on rebuilding the Blue Comet."

Speed returned the smile. "Okay and when...you get her rebuilt...and I'm feeling better…I'm gonna drive...her again...in a race...this time...I'm gonna win..." He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

"I shouldn't even be surprised about what he just said," Pops remarked. "I wouldn't put it past him to do just that."

Mom shook her head. "He'll drive that car again over my dead body!"