Disclaimer: H2G2 belongs to Douglas Adams. The alphabet belongs to whoever came up with it.

H2G2 ABCs

A is for Arthur, who's always drinking tea
B is for bulldozer, and real bad poetry.
C is for the cosmos - it's really whopping huge
D is for Dentrassi, who give hitchhikers refuge.
E is for the Earthmen, who tend to come from Earth,
And Eddie the computer, who's always glad to serve.
F is for Ford Prefect, and also forty-two
Ford sure is one hoopy frood; he has a towel, too.
G is for the galaxies; they're big and oh-so-shiny
And the Great White Handkerchief, alive with mucus slimy.
H is for the Heart of Gold, which holds a great invention:
(That might turn you into tea if you don't pay attention).
It's Improbability - and hey, that starts with 'I'!
(The chances of that happening could not have been too high.)
The letter 'J's for jammies, which Arthur always wears
'Cause that's one thing 'bout fashion: up in space, nobody cares.
K is for Krikkit - their night sky sure is dull
L is for lunch, which we'll be serving in a while.
(At least, we'll do that after our delivery gets here
Of lemon-soaked paper napkins; they're very late, oh dear.)
M is for Marvin, the Paranoid Android
Who isn't so much paranoid as depressed and most annoyed.
N is for normal, though what that is no one's quite sure
O for Oolon Colluphid of controversial literature
P is for petunias; for their death they were not keen
Q is for the Question, which only works in base thirteen.
R is for the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
Who'll gobble up your grandmother and prob'ly you as well.
S is for the stars and space and Slartibartfast too
As well as superintelligent shades of the colour blue.
T is for Thursdays, which Arthur never got the hang of
T also is for tea, Arthur's one and only true love.
U is for the universe. It's big and fairly scary
V is for the Vogons: of them you should be wary.
W is What? and When? and Who? and Where's the tea?
X is Xena: Warrior Princess. (I'm desperate, can't you see?)
Y is Why, to which the answer just ain't 'forty-two'
And lastly, Z for Zaphod, who is way hipper than you.

-end