Okay, so... this is my first fic ever so be nice, and please gimme lots of reviews, that would make me happy )

It's shounen-ai (guy x guy) don't like, don't read! and sry if I spell things wrong and stuff cos I'm from Denmark so my English is not perfect yet.. Well hope U like mu story anyways x'D It's ED X ENVY.. Mee luuves that parring XD

Warnings: Shounen-ai , language

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or any of the characters from it... unfortunately..

1. The psycho palm-tree visits my house

Ed smiled, as he felt the sunshine lighten up the room, as he opened the window in

his bedroom.

It was a lovely morning and Ed was in an especially good mood because he had done all his reports for the Bastard Colonel Roy Mustang, which meant he

would be able to see the bastards surprised face, when he reached the completet reports over the table. Damn that expirience alone could make his day.

That morning Ed was starving as usual, but just as he reached for the cereal box, on top of the fridge (he had to stand on a chair to reach 'em) someone

knocked at his door.

Ed was pretty surprised as he leaped off the chair, to open the door. Al couldn't be back from Central already. It was hardly an hour since he left. Ed sighted.

Unless he found a kitten on the way and decided to bring it home.

Ed shook his head. He'd definetely do it if he found one.

Ed opened the door and looked outside.

No one.

As he looked down he noticed a little fox cup on his doorstep looking pleeding at him with enormous, purple eyes.

Wtf... purple? Well, whatever.

Ed, being unusually kind on that day, hence to the fact, that he'd soon be able to se the colonels idiotic face drop it's jaw in surprise, lifted the the cute baby

fox up, and carried it to the kitchen, where he gently put it down.

"Hey there." the teenage boy said, looking down at the fox. " it's allright. I'll get you some eeew... disgusting milk, and then put you back where I found ya'."

But how the hell is a tiny fox baby supposed to knock on my door. Who did that?

Ed shook his head at his own unbelievably weird behaviour.

Al hadn't been gone for an hour, and jet Ed was already starting to bring baby animals into the house, exactly like his annoying cat-loving younger brother would have done.

As Ed once again reached for the cereal box, he heard a really weird sound. Ed immedeately turned around, terrified of what he might face.

Right behind him, where the baby fox just had been he saw no one but his most loved-to hate gender confused palm-tree enemy.

Ed was so taken by the surprise, that he didn't even thought about attacking. His body went all stiff, and even though his brain, oh so desperetely told him to

punch the damn fuckwit, his limbs denied to react.

Envy was surprised as well. Mostly because Ed didn't tell him to get the hell out, or tried to make him get out. The chibi was completely frozen.

Envy lazily waved one of his glove-clad hands in front of Ed's head.

"Oi, O'Chibi-san! That's not a polite was to welcome a guest, you know."

Suddently the little Alchemists golden eyes focused again. His body was able to move, and he went to his preferred kill-the-damn-palm-tree mood.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME CHIBI! I'M NOT SMALLER THAN A BUG YOU JUST WANNA STEP ON SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

YOU PSYCHOTIC IDIOT OR I'LL MAKE YOU!"

Said psychotic idiot gracefully stepped oot of reach, when a very pissed Ed tried to punch him in the face - with his metal hand of course.

"Steady now, O'Chibi, " he said in his usual mocking voice. "Your'e gonna hurt yourself that way."

Ed tried to hit Envy a few more times, but Envy easily avoided him every single time. Ed was so angry, he was sure his pis was boiling. How the fuck could

that arrogant idiot just allow himself into HIS house? He wanted to beat the living crap out of him, but he'd wasted a lot of energy, trying to punch Envy.

"Allrighty Chibi. I can see your'e really exhausted. Now, can I finally tell you what I'm actually here to tell?"

Ed didn't even shout, when Envy called him chibi. Envy just earned a unbeliveably evil glare.

Later he's gonna pay for that one... but erhm.. not just jet.

"Then what d'ya wanna tell?" Ed crossed his arms sceptically.

"Well, not exactly tell." Envy smirked. "It's more like I wanna show you something Chibi-san."

Show him something? Since when did his biggest enemy, start dropping casually by his house, wanting to SHOW HIM something? This was getting kinda creepy.

"And exactly WHAT the HELL, could you possibly want to show ME! A torture chamber? A really dark, creepy cellar with chains on the wall! Or perhaps a

totally BIG, NASTY, poisonous spider!"

"I want you to see Candyland!" Envys smile grew wider as he bounced up and down, looking like a freaking lunatic.

Ed looked a the cheerfully, bouncing palm-tree, eyes huge.

"And what the fuck is Candyland?"

Envy gave Ed a secretive look. The he bounced up and down again.

"You'll see! You'll see! But only if stupid Chibi-san wants to come!"

Ed raised an eyebrow at Envy. "Yeah? And what if I don't wanna go?"

A playful smile twisted the homunculus' lips as he stopped bouncing.

"Then I'll make you go of course."

Ed jawned.

He sure must have got some disease today. If the psycho really insists on killing me, why doesn't he go ahead and do it? It's not like I wouldn't fight back

but… Why's he playing nice, and lying about some place called Candyland?

"You could go alone?" Ed suggested.

Envy bit his lip. " Uhmm… no."

"Why not?"

"cos' it's really lonely to go alone, so PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEEEASE Ed?" Envy made his adorable puppy eyes.

Ed looked at him. He was taken by the homunculus' sudden change. What the hell was he up to?

Whatever the homunculus had in mind, Ed couldn't help but notice, that Envy looked just a little bit cute, eyes all big and puppy-like.

" So.. will you come with me?" Envy asked, as his eyes went back to normal.

Ed considered it for a minute.

Mmmm.. pros and cons.. Okay the pros' first. Well, I wouldn't have to stay home and being bored all day. And maybe that Candyland thing could

turn out to be really funny. Okay the cons now…Let's see. It might be a sneaky trap, leading me outta the house, away from anyone who could be

able to rescue me.

Another voice disturbed Edwards mind. You should try to reconsider… If anything evil happens, you do have you Alchemy.

Ed shrugged his shoulders.

" 'Kay. I'll go" He said, trying not to sound too willing. "BUT" he continued in a demanding voice. " If you try ANYTHING, I wont hesitate on turning you –

AND your Homunculus allys- into skunks!"

Envy fumed. "As though you could Fullmetal pipsqueak.." he mocked. "But thanks for wanting to come, you definitely wont regret it!" he quickly added as he

noticed Ed's pissed-about-the-pipsqueak-comment face.

Ed slowly nodded. " Okay then. Lead the way."'

Envy's face lightened up. " YIPPIE! WE'RE GOINT TO CANDYLAAAAAND!" He grabbed Ed and hugged him.

Not that it was Ed's first surprise that day, but none the less, it was the biggest.

Envy bounced out of the window, dragging Ed along by the hand.

"WEIIII! CANDYLAND HERE WE COMEEEE!"

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Weiiii, end of first chapther..

Hope you like it so far, and please review XD and again sorry for my language. I'm from Denmark w

The Pink Alchemist