There are no lights one out the front when Andrea gets there, she runs around the corner, staring over the wall through the garden to the back, no light either. Back at the front she buzzes but Neil doesn't answer his flat bell. She sits outside on the garden ledge wondering what one earth she's doing and why, she has no plan and nothing to say that she's planned. She slides her phone out of her bag and stares at it before typing and sending the message – Happy New Year. For the whole long way home she keeps the phone close but there's no reply. She doesn't know why she was there and needed to see him, perhaps it was the kiss with Smithy that was impulsive in the least – she'd been drinking, the conversation was emotional and there are still so many parts of her raw about Neil and herself…she's lonely without him too. Maybe it was everything else, the whole year.
She certainly doesn't expect Smithy to be waiting for her when she gets back to her flat.
He looks up from sitting in a position that's similar to the one she just sat in out the front of Neil's. He stands when she looks at him and digs in her bag for her keys.
"Smithy," she says unsure of what his presence means. He says nothing so she goes to open the door to her block of flats.
"I just thought there was something in that kiss." She doesn't need her reasonable side to tell her she shouldn't. She knows that she should just apologise again and put it all down to a mistake, say Happy New Year and goodnight. Instead she has to complicate things further by taking one step towards him and him to her. By two people for no other better reason than a mild attraction, too much alcohol and battered hearts from previous relationships, locking lips. By encouraging him upstairs with her actions and her signals.
The sex is awkward like Smithy on the dance floor, it feels disjointed and like they're not in synchronisation, it lacks the flow and intimacy she shares with Neil whom she seems to just fit with. His touch is different and their bodies unfamiliar to one another. It's a combination doomed from the start, both of them with the same needs and issues, neither able to provide what the other needs. Two souls clinging together as they sink.
Andrea finds herself wishing it would just be over.
Later when Smithy snores gently next to her Andrea tells herself she might have thought this was moving on from Neil but in reality she's just filling the gap he's left. She knows part of tonight was about being upset about not being able to get into contact with him for whatever reason she needed to.
Still awake later she realises Bruce's words about her betraying someone again are coming true. There are tears in her eyes as she realises what she's done to Neil and there's no amount of anything that would help him forgive her now. She looks across at Smithy knowing in an effort to fill the gap Neil has left in her she has selfishly betrayed him again.
And although some might point out they're no longer together and she's free to see who she likes, it makes no difference to Andrea.
Neil can't ever know and this can't happen again.
Her phone vibrates against the bedside table and immediately she grabs it checking Smithy has not been disturbed. Happy New Year the message reads from Neil. Andrea goes to sleep with the message and by extension the phone in her hand.
In the morning when she wakes Smithy is gone, no note or anything, an indicator perhaps he considers the night before as much as mistake as she does.
When Andrea walks into Louise's office the day after New Years Day she hastily says goodbye to the person on the other end of the phone. She hangs up looking guilty and searches through her pile of work.
"That was 'option number two' wasn't it?" Andrea needs to start a conversation that takes them back to New Years Eve, she needs to purge about Smithy.
"His name is Joshua Elsom." Andrea sits in Louise's visitor's chair, raising an eyebrow.
"You seem to have hit it off." She needs the conversation to turn to her; she can't just blurt out 'I slept with someone.'
"You too, who was that I saw you leaving with?" Andrea knew Louise couldn't resist, much more interesting to talk about your friend whose life is a runaway train wreck.
"Just Smithy," Two words, so many connotations, Smithy nothing special, Smithy not putting any emphasis or importance on the whole thing.
"Just Smithy," Louise repeats emphasising the 'just'.
"Dale Smith, he was one of my sergeants at Sun Hill." Andrea explains like its business.
"Not one for browsing in your own ranks are you and what is it with Sun Hill, is there something in the water over there?" Andrea shakes her head indicating what a mess her life is.
Louse reads the signals loud and clear. "You slept with him; does this mean you and the DI…?" Louise broaches gently.
"I've cheated on Neil, Louise, on top of the other betrayal." There's despair in her voice.
"Hang on; I thought that's what the betrayal was in the first place." Louise pulls Andrea back, she shakes her head slowly.
"I could never…" Andrea realises the hypocrisy of her words. "It was worse and I've just added to it."
"Hang on, the two of you are split, it's not cheating. Just date this Smithy guy for a while, have fun. You remember dating; it isn't necessarily followed by living together and marriage which I know you expect from your senior officers." Andrea indicates to Louise her sarcasm isn't helping.
"You think the fact we're not together makes a difference in here." Andrea indicates to her heart. "I have to live with it. I'm still hoping he'll have me back, I can't be getting around with other men."
"So you tell Smithy thanks for the great night but that's it." Louise says like it's the simplest thing in the world, Andrea's face screws.
"What…it wasn't good?" Louise guesses and screws up her own face.
"I compared it."
"You're hopeless." Louise says exasperated. "You apply strings and standards to a one night stand."
"Help me!" Andrea pretends to cry.
"I think you're beyond help except to say don't go near Sun Hill." As soon as she's said it Louise turns serious. "What's your plan for the long term, for getting Neil back?"
"I don't know...there's still months until he's officially divorced and who knows what will happen by then, if he'll want me back. He might meet someone else."
"You have to fight." Louise is adamant and Andrea nods.
"Tell me about Joshua Elsom, he's younger than you." Andrea changes the topic, she feels better for talking about Smithy and now it's her turn to show some interest in Louise's life.
"A counter balance for you and Neil." She excuses.
Neil snaps up the phone, annoyed at yet another interruption, the Christmas and New Year period always sees the work pile up and although he's been back four days, the pile doesn't seem to be getting any smaller.
"Yes." He answers not really caring about phone etiquette, it's likely to be an internal call anyway.
"Mr. Neil Manson?" The polite voice asks it seems taken aback by his gruff answer.
"This is he." Neil stops, realising this is not work related.
"Mr. Manson, this is Melanie Carter calling from Anderson Fitzpatrick Lawson. Mr. Anderson asked me to let you know that the courts have received your divorce petition and statement of arrangement for your son, they'll post it with the 'Acknowledgement of service' to the respondent."
"I'm sorry what's the 'Acknowledgement of service'?" This is really the last thing Neil wants to talk about but he's hardly going to brush it off.
"The respondent returns it to the court indicating they have received a copy of the divorce petition and they also indicate if they intend on defending the divorce. Because of the overseas nature of the respondent they have 30 days to reply."
"O.k.," Neil says unsure of what he feels. Till this point he knew he could just pick up the phone and stop the whole thing, though he never would and has no need to, now the ball is well and truly rolling.
"We'll be in touch Mr. Manson." Neil's cynical about the fact it's always a secretary or paralegal that makes these types of calls, the partners are too busy billing their clients to communicate directly with them. Though a firm that handles divorces can hardly be an uplifting place to work.
"Thank you." Neil says putting down the phone, the word 'respondent' echoing through his ears. She has a name, Philippa, then again not everyone's divorce is as amicable as his and the sound of a separated partners name could send some people into a rage.
It takes him a little while to get back to work, he's still nervous about Philippa though she's promised she won't fight and then there's Colin who seems to be handling everything well so far, but it's only just getting started.
In her own office Andrea picks up her ringing phone, attention diverted from the press conference on the TV being conducted two boroughs over. The DCI was holding up well under some difficult questions from the media.
"Hello." Andrea answers, still watching the ageing detective on the screen. Only silence is returned to her.
"It's Smithy." The reply finally comes and he has Andrea's full attention.
"Hello."
"Look I'm just calling to say I'm sorry about the other night, I feel like I took advantage of you." It was not in the least what she was expecting him to say.
"I took advantage of you as much as you did of me." Smithy doesn't acknowledge the admission. "I think we should go on a date."
Andrea looks over to Louise's office and recalls what she said about being split from Neil and just having fun with Smithy, nothing too serious. Still she has to work hard to get it. "Just a beer and some pool or something, nothing too serious, two battered and bruised people like us couldn't take but deserve much more."
"O.k. when?" Andrea smiles and relaxes back into her chair.
"Tomorrow night?" She suggests.
"Pick you up from yours." Smithy offers.
"See you then." Andrea puts the phone down and feels good, she smiles knowing she's looking forward to the date. It's just some fun, it's not going to get serious and if Neil decides he wants her back then it's like Louise says, thanks for the good time but it was never going to be anything more.
Andrea starts to think about what she might wear.
"So what made you decide to do this tonight?" Smithy asks as Andrea lines up the pool balls, she takes her shot and the ball drops gracefully into the pockets, not bad for someone who hasn't played since university.
"Nice try but you didn't distract me." She spins the pool cue on its end that rests on the ground, Smithy smirks. "I don't know, spirit of New Year, wanted a nice fun night out."
"Oh so you don't like me then." Smithy puts on a hurt face.
"I thought that was obvious, I did ask you." Andrea emphasises the 'you'.
"I'm glad you did." He says smiling and then lines up his shot, Andrea grins to herself.
"So what are you working on right now?" Smithy places a beer in front of them both.
"Nothing interesting... Oh we got a call from some documentary makers last week; they want to pitch to one of the TV stations a six part series on the day in the life of a MET officer at a MET station."
"Yeah," Smithy says encouraging her to go on.
"We're still combing through the details with the top brass."
"Sounds like a pain for the chosen copper."
"Its good publicity for the MET but sometimes a warts and all look at how we do things isn't helpful. It can open us up to counter productive criticism, rather than constructive."
"And if it's approved?" Smithy asks as he takes another sip of his beer.
"They pick someone and somewhere to film but we're a long way from there. There's insurance issues in case one of them is hurt while out with us. Then there's the fact having cameras around is distracting, good officers can miss things they wouldn't normally, it makes for a full area car with another person in the back, you've got to get permission to film people and there's some situations just too dangerous for civilians to go into. Then there's the argument that it's much better to follow one case right through rather than just showing us arresting person after person. Though I suppose the counter to that is the public like criminals being arrested."
"And then there are people like Amber who shouldn't be let loose in front of a camera." Smithy jokes. "She'll turn it into a doco about her. Or she'd hit on the cameraman and producer."
"I'll tell her you said that." Andrea laughs.
"So do you miss it?" Smithy asks later as he walks Andrea home.
"Sun Hill?" Smithy nods. "Sometimes," They walk on in silence.
"I've learnt there's nothing worse than the pain you bring on yourself by remembering how things used to be with someone." Smithy breaks the silence catching Andrea starting ahead of them.
"How'd you know?" But he doesn't reply. "I don't think there's a cure either."
Silence prevails again till they're at the door to Andrea's block of flats. "Look Smithy, I'm in no state to get back into a serious relationship."
"What indicator did I give that I was?" Smithy laughs at the conclusion he assumes she's come to.
"None, I just wanted to make sure you knew." Andrea starts to laugh herself, "As if it weren't totally obvious."
"Let's just go out sometimes, enjoy ourselves and not make promises to each other." Smithy suggests looking right at Andrea
"Well I enjoyed myself tonight." Andrea agrees.
"So did I, goodnight Andrea." Smithy's lips kiss her cheek and he's gone with a smile. Upstairs Cally doesn't greet Andrea, stretched sleepily on the foot of her bed.
"I had a good time." Andrea tells her furry flatmate.
To be continued…In the next story. Story ID - 3188794