Disclaimer: Though I have too many series thrown in to list the actual owners of each character, they all belong to various Japanese manga-ka, animation studios and the like. No one who appeared in here is my own creation – if you don't recognize anyone, you just haven't watched enough anime.


Tokyo.

A city of catgirls and magical girls, giant robots and rampaging monsters, spiky-haired heroes, megalomaniac villains, and pretty-boy characters of questionable sexuality drifting between the two. A metropolis of over thirty million people, almost always the first target of both alien and inter-dimensional invaders(despite all the unusually-powered residents calling it home,) both the largest city on earth and the one with the most tentacle monsters per capita.

A city that has seen its best-known landmark, Tokyo Tower, destroyed in combat four times in the past year(and surviving two other destructive battles) only to be rebuilt each time as a symbol of Japanese endurance against the bizarre myriad of people and creatures who sought its destruction. A city that has endured everything from a Vamdemon-led siege to destructive earthquakes and a full-scale youkai invasion, all within a five-year period – but still managing to act as the background for idyllic high-school romances with enough twists and backstabbing to put most ninja to shame.

A city where Tenchi Masaki had journeyed once, for the sake of his education, only to find not only his own personality but also those of his friends warped utterly beyond recognition. A city Kenshin Himura once wandered through, forever trying to atone – where even today, his and Kaoru's descendants still live, one replicating his sheer courage, the other his devotion to others and hideously weak sense of self-worth. (Though due to a registry error two generations back, their name is now read as "Yagami.")

It is the city of Suzaku and Seiryu's priestesses, of Yukino and Souichiruo's blossoming love, of a girl who wound up with the Shikon no Tama in her chest – and long ago, where a certain hanyou was pinned to a tree that still stands. It is the city where Ranma Saotome learned that more girls wasn't always a good thing, where Shuichi Shindou realized he just plain preferred guys, and where Harunobu Madarame said "screw this, I'm watching Kujian."

In short, a city that gave the rest of the world a general opinion that any country which would make this its capital had to be completely and utterly nuts -- but prime minister Sohma just didn't want to hear it. (Of course, the fact that Ayame had got himself elected in and of itself had given many that opinion of Japan – but one should never underestimate the fangirl vote.)

"Call if chaotic, call it life-threatening -- do these crises not demonstrate the passion of our residents, of both good and evil? Is there any city more dynamic, more vibrant, more worthy of this great nation?" The bishounen paused, then turned to his secretary of defense. "That said... Sagara-kun, why do we keep getting attacked?"

"It's only a coincidence." The ex-mercenary answered stoically, glancing out the window as an angry female mob chased after a diminutive martial arts master. "Though admittedly, it is getting annoying."

"I'm sorry, Sagara-san, but I just can't agree with your hypothesis. While I admit coincidence does occur -- the odds of this many bizarre incidents happening by chance are far too low to be reasonably believed, let alone all of them in the same general location." Koushirou answered, watching a squadron of low-level ninjas race to the harbor – pirates attacking, probably.

"Let's just keep taking 'em out. Hopefully they'll have some money on them next time, you can't even get a bite to eat on killing these cheap bastards these days – especially when your attacks incinerate their corpse." The cabinet member grumbled, wondering how she ever got into this world anyway – though dimensional portals were startlingly common in this city.

"On another note, Fukuoka..." The internal affairs secretary (So appointed because, in his thirty-plus trips across the islands, he had come to know Japan rather well – though Ryoga still couldn't get from point A to point any faster) began, "has been conquered by a revolutionary organization calling itself ACROSS."

"Our home country is being invaded, and we are not fighting? Onward, sweet piglet, let us take back that city! This meeting is over!"

At the sound of the word 'piglet', Ryoga shot a death glare at the cursed bishounen, then pushed the nearest female he could find into the Prime Minister – said female quickly launched a "fireball!" back at the black-haired boy in indignation.

The wreckage from the mage's flame spell, combined with the shock that someone would react violently to hugging what was quite possibly the hottest bishounen in Japan, (Even though this was Lina Inverse.) sent what would have been a torrent of confusion across the Japanese government -- but admittedly, they were in Tokyo.

"Why can't she just use a super-dimensional mallet like a normal girl?" Sousuke quietly muttered, then was promptly hit with one for his trouble.

As the sorceress sent the mech pilot crashing into the wall, the flame spell from earlier set off the sprinkler, and another cabinet member was soon turned into a very wet pig. Amidst the chaos, Ayame was soon kidnapped by a perverted fangirl guard waiting for him to change back – and owing to a severe lack of intact and human-bodied high-ranking government officials, the meeting was quickly adjourned.


"Hail Lord Ilpalazzo!" Excel shouted, with but a tenth of her energy devoted to proclaiming loudly her loyalty to the supreme leader of ACROSS – but then again, a tenth of her energy was an amount even Goku had trouble gathering.

"Hail Ilpalazzo!" Hyatt added, coughing up blood and dying – both of them acting the same way they had every other time their mission briefings began.

"As you are well aware, agents Excel and Hyatt, we have finally succeeded in the conquest of the city." The revolutionary began, voice booming through his organization's secret lair. "For such a thing to occur, given our small size, is a testament to both of your immense abilities and skills!"

"Excel doesn't really understand how three people managed to conquer the city, even given the startling incompetence of the department of civil security – but if it means getting praised by Ilpalazzo himself, she really doesn't want to question it!" The blonde agent said, words running together in a way that would make it hard for most listeners to understand, her mind thinking faster than her lips could move – the same way she had always talked.

"Excuse me, but given the intro to the story, should not this second scene actually be located in Tokyo?" Hyatt asked, finishing the sentence more or less alive.

Ilpalazzo smirked, "I was getting to that. Ultimately, for the sake of revolutionizing this world and overthrowing the modern, corrupt society, we must indeed conquer humanity's biggest city. However – logistical difficulties make this task impossible for a secret entity such as ACROSS to accomplish."

"Like having so few members?" Excel asked.

"Exactly, agent Excel." Ilpalazzo answered, his silver hair shining with beauty – or maybe that was just through Excel's idealist, love-struck eyes. "Therefore, to enable the conquest of Tokyo, we shall cast off our secrecy and begin active recruitment for ACROSS!"


In the schools of Tokyo, like the ones in most other places, the interesting things all happen in after-school clubs.

Of course, this is not to say the clubs in Tokyo are normal. While a few of them might not look out of place in Kyoto or somewhere sane, entities like the Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture, Host Club, and Magic User's Club are also quite common in this city – why, in this place, even the student councils were usually interesting bodies! (Though they had a tendency to be more focused on lesbianism and swordfights than actual governance.)

The inter-dimensional travelers club was one of these unusual entities, and it was currently meeting.

As for the subject -- with the social consciousness that comes with having such a large percentage of the membership responsible for saving the world, combined with the likelihood being one of the ones who'd be destroyed along with the city, well... issues like keeping their grades up while skipping class to save Sengoku Jidai, over-representation of chosen children in the membership, even questions like "Taichi or Syaoran, who should lead us?" -- they had all fallen by the wayside.

After all – just like last Thursday, Tokyo was in grave danger.

"We need a plan. It's too strong." Kurogane spoke, his ninja calm not yet tempered by Fai's annoyance. (Though admittedly, if ninja could wear bright orange these days and yell "dattebayo" as they finished their bold proclamations, ninja calm might not be a sensible term anymore.)

"I've led the digidestined to victory countless times without the slightest clue before, and I don't intend to start planning now!" Daisuke shot back, Taichi nodding in reluctant agreement -- Sora facepalming, but reluctantly admitting that he did have a point.

"But this enemy is still too powerful, and we can't rely on evolving again. We won't find a golden digimental in Tokyo, Daisuke-kun." Takeru answered, giving his friend a longing, subtexty glance.

Sora smiled at this, as Mokona flew around the room, fleeing the wrath of an angry Kuro-pon.

"Do we have any other members this year not with Syaoran's group or the chosen children?" Kagome asked, the issue of a monster attack quickly forgotten – then just as quickly remembered, as a giant Cubone smashed through the wall and abducted the priestess of Suzaku.

"Miaka!"

"Tamahome"

"Get a room!" Kagome shouted, flushing with annoyance – Sora surmised Inuyasha was with Kikyo again.

"I'm being attacked this time... Tama-kun doesn't have the oni on his forehead, so one of you chosen, please digivolve and save me..."

"A shoujo heroine to the end." Fai muttered, still smiling, body latched onto Kurogane's. "Will our love be destroyed that way?"

"If you don't get off me soon, we'll all be destroyed!"

The giant cubone turned around, Miaka clutched tightly in its giant hand, its six-foot tail wrecking the school as it turned around.

"Don't worry, guys. He's a good pokemon."

"Agumon, you aren't helping." Taichi answered, a sweatdrop hovering to the side of his face.

"Fire, fire, fire, Thor's hammer, physical, light, light, sacred arrow, dark, physical, summoning fire/flying deities..." Kagome muttered, counting off the groups membership, "We don't have anything useful here at all!"

With those words, the giant Cubone vanished out of sight. It emerged again three seconds later in a sea of red light, Sakura muttered some sad words about only carrying one pokeball, and the orphaned beast continued walking, headed straight for Tokyo Tower.


"Okay, so if we're in this world's version of Kanto, this has to be Celadon, right? It's huge!" Kasumi said, looking around the metropolis, mouth agape in awe.

"No way. The tower and giant Cubone clearly show that we're in Lavender Town."

"This is way too big to be Lavender town, you idiot!"

"Who cares about size? Celadon isn't anywhere near this big either."

"According to the map, Kyoto would be this world's closest equivalent to Lavender Town, despite being located outside Kanto." Takeshi said, the rock-type trainer wise as ever.

"Forget about things like 'where,' I have a pokemon to catch!" Satoshi hurled the red-and-white ball at the lonely pokemon, Kasumi's advice about weakening it first seeming forever unheeded.

A small, white, long-eared creature looking a good deal like a manjuu bun flew into the path of the ball, chasing the Cubone as well from a different angle. The red light engulfed it, the ball shook three times, and 108 secret skills or none, it didn't matter...

After a brief glance at his pokedex for its name, the aspiring pokemon master held out his fingers in a victory pose.

"I caught a Mokona!"


One of the more interesting facts about life in a city which many struggles between good and evil on a day-to-day basis is that it is very easy to misinterpret events.

For instance, in 1999, the chosen children had logically assumed the bizarre weather patterns in July and August had something to do with the digital world, while Miaka and Yui blamed The Universe of the Four Gods – while in reality, it was because of the dragons of Earth and the oncoming apocalypse, which only stopped because of an insanely long hiatus. (Many historians theorize that these events were actually caused by the Second Impact and had nothing to do with Kamui, but their chronology is off by a few months.)

Similarly, at this point in time, the Sohma clan had come to the conclusion that Akito had been embraced by someone of the opposite gender and consequently turned into God, unleashing a torrent of destruction upon the city. It lacked for evidence, but it made a certain level of sense -- and regardless of what Momiji and Kisa claimed to have seen, a giant Cubone destroying Tokyo was just way too absurd.

Ranma Saotome shrugged his head and ignored it, thinking it an over-the-top plan that everyone from Genma to Kuno could've thought up. A nineteen-year-old Misato Katsuragi instantly and confidently blamed angels, but no one believed her. Most of Tokyo saw it for just what it was – a kaiju attack – but they willed themselves to see something looking more like Godzilla or Gamera than a giant cubone!

Team Rocket had nothing whatsoever to do with this, as they were still in the pokemon world – but despite its un-mechanical exterior, Satoshi's confident arguments that they were behind this ultimately left them with the credit for the attack.

(Of course, it was far too competently done for them to have actually been responsible, but for a group so frequently wanting for success, they would've gladly claimed the deed)

The Cubone continued walking, devastating Shibuya with its stomp, tackle(typically thought of as weak, but at a certain size it becomes quite useful against buildings) and bone club attacks, swatting at the various self-defense force planes that got in its way.

(An astute student of pokemon battles would've said that planes are flying-type, and bone club, a ground-type attack, should have no effect on them. However, when said ground-type is tall enough to swat flying-types down, this rule has a certain way of becoming completely meaningless.)

As it approached Tokyo Tower, as the government rushed to battle ACROSS, one thing was certain – Tokyo needed a hero. It had plenty. The only problem was that most of them still had to wait a few episodes, awaken a couple more of their True Powers... so the Cubone continued unhindered along its destructive path.


In some generic spot in Japan, somewhere between Tokyo and Fukuoka, Ayame Sohma and Ilpalazzo faced each other from opposite sides of the soon-to-be battlefield. (As an interesting historical tidbit, it should be noted that this battlefield was located in the exact spot Naraku had once called home. However, other than a wholly non-lethal, barely-noticable remnant of his miasma and a couple annoying barriers, no remnants of his presence remained.)

A weak spark of sexual tension drifted across between the two leaders, as their armies(Technically "self-defence forces" or "popular revolutionary movements") stood there, waiting. Of course they were waiting – they had to be waiting, the fierce debates of right and wrong hadn't happened yet, and they hadn't disagreed fully enough for them to actually resort to fighting.

It was tradition, after all.

However, as Ilpalazzo and Ayame began their discussion, the JSDF was getting significantly concerned. For someone as bizarre and non-conformist as the current prime minister, the leader of ACROSS's criticisms about a corrupt, worthless society might just have rung a bit true.

And to make matters worse, the snake-cursed's defenses amounted to speaking quite eloquently of the greatness of Japan, but using examples such as "The pure romance of that love between a virgin schoolgirl and a tentacle monster!" were not exactly giving the soldiers confidence in their mission.

And as the predecessors of the Dummy Plug system had only been rigged up for a small percentage of the JSDF's mechs, if Ilpalazzo could convince the sane part of Aaya's forces to switch sides, well... it could be bad.

"For a country that technically doesn't have a military," Sousuke thought from the cockpit of his arm-slave, "Postwar Japan certainly has an immense fear of a military coup."

As far as he was concerned, it made sense, at one point. When the army was doing things like massacring the Sekihoutai, well... he knew his family history well enough. The Manchuria incident, the military government in the 1930s and '40s, horrible, horrible things.

With results just as horrible, for the most part, for the ancestors of today's soldiers. With a Japan that, if not always believing in its democracy, had grown accustomed to it – and was rather disturbed by the idea of a military government... he had never really thought a coup likely.

Until he realized something he should've known long ago, something that should have been obvious just by their game shows and pornography – Japan was, to put it lightly, nuts.

How else could Ayame have been elected? That wouldn't happen in a nation with the slightest shred of sanity.

For a moment, as he fired at the charging Puchuu hordes, Sousuke pondered leading one. But then he shook his head, thought of his honor as a member of MITHRIL, and focused his attention back towards the battlefield.

"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows..."

"Excel does not fear your dragon slave. It is a well-known truth that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, and Lord Ilpalazzo has granted me a really big beam cannon! Of course, I'm not entirely sure how to fire it..."

The annoyed sorceress spread up her incantation, trying to finish the spell while having to listen to the lowest possible amount of Excel – that voice was really starting to bug her.

At least there were no mazoku in this world.

"Dragon slave!"


The revolutionary organization of ACROSS, once it actually started recruiting, had garnered a surprisingly high amount of followers.

Most of them had just been incinerated.

Most.

Tenchi Masaki, in one of his rare stretches of time on Earth, had grown enamored of Ilpalazzo's rhetoric. Sure, he had found society more annoying than actually corrupt – but at the same time, he couldn't help but feel that there was something deeply and truly wrong when the only reaction he got from having four beautiful extra-terrestrial women(and Sasami) living in his household was "you lucky bastard!"

And then, when the inevitable follow-up question was asked and he had admitted to his continued virginity, he was quickly denounced as gay and subjected to the homophobia of non-fangirl Japanese society.

They... they just didn't realize. Not any of it, not how Ryoko or Aeka would be hurt, not how deciding one way would hurt the other too much for him to bear...

And the crude "threesome" suggestion didn't work. They hated each other. (When it came to subtext, Tenchi was only slightly less dense than a typical neutron star.)

So naturally, for caring for all of them even with his continued celibacy, he had to be either a wuss or a fag.

This sort of society had to be overthrown. And that – that was why he fought.

An oft-debated subject among otaku was soon resolved, as the wings of the Light Hawk were proved to be slightly more powerful than even Lina's dragon slave.

With a thousand messages of "enemy MECH fainted!", and the Japanese cabinet scrambling back to Tokyo, the victorious march of ACROSS continued on.


In spite of the general chaos and attempts by countless 'misunderstood' bishounen to take over Tokyo, the mundane aspects of life go on, and to some people, they might as well be everything.

Ryoma continued his serves, realizing that he could strike a megalomaniac Char-wannabe just as easily as he could a cheating opponent, but not particularly interested. There were plenty of other heroes after all, and tennis was his destiny.

Hikaru ignored the battles in his single-minded pursuit of Akira, letting nothing get in the way of Go supremacy – the world didn't matter.

On the other hand, for Yugi, well – sometimes a game did decide the fate of the Earth. (The thought that egyptian gods, however powerful, might not be quite enough to take a city only a few minutes away from Belldandy's adopted hometown, a city teeming with magical girls and kaiju -- it had never occurred to him.) Sometimes, it was more than just a game. And while the holograms may have seemed over the top, the holograms were important, but not for the duelists – people deserved to see the battle that would decide the fate of humanity.

(Speaking of which, Seto Kaiba had recently sold said hologram technology to the army, which was now operating on the basic ninja principle that, when a bunch of holograms go along with one actual attack, it's a real pain to know which one to dodge. (Admittedly, creating more actual warriors would've been better, but they could only do so much after the recent budget cuts.)

In spite of this effort, however, the only thing that really changed was that the giant Cubone lost all respect it once had for the power of standard military-issue robots.)

There were much sillier, much more over-the-top things – like creating the univerese and metaphorical swordfights mixed in with every Go match. People would mock it often, sure, but... the duels mattered, they really mattered.

Of course, so long as all who sought to use the magic of the cards were dead or not main characters, that didn't really matter. These days, Yugi was having more issues dealing with his other self's attempts to learn to play Go to become worthy of the title king of games, and listening to his endless discussions on life as a gaming-obssesed spirit with Sai of the Fujiwara.

To Saki Kusakabe, however, he might as well have just been some geeky pipsqueak with weird hair. Just like how Ranma Saotome was some muscular, decent-looking guy, but also someone so weird he had an umbrella even when it was barely drizzling outside.

She looked around the rest of the train – sure, it was just a train ride, but this one was long, and she had no one to talk to. Kousaka was in at Comiket – no surprises there – but she was beginning to realize that so was everyone else she knew.

Just what kind of person had she turned into? She didn't really want to think about it all that much.

As for the others... a young boy with goggles, staring at his cellphone in an obvious hurry. "He's just a little kid... why in the world is he in such a rush?" She glanced around some more. An average-looking guy, seemed sweet, but only had eyes for his persocom.Said persocom herself -- the club would've probably been impressed by her specs, if the old line about breast size and processing power was true – but she couldn't care less about her. And lastly, a schoolgirl who gave off seriously creepy vibes amidst her lovelorn face – superstition was stupid, but if someone could use denpa waves and didn't want to talk, she'd keep her distance.

The train seemed oddly deserted otherwise, almost forebodingly so. She had seen it happen in anime a thousand times – just like how a trip to the onsen always had to involve the pervert of the group trying to peek, the undercrowded trains that took too long always had a bit of unwanted excitement.

But monster attacks were really starting to get old. Not that they were ever pleasant; when Vamdemon filled the city with fog, it kept her stranded with some annoying ex for days – but now they were getting trite and overused as well.

Why couldn't she just be a normal girl? Why couldn't she just be with a normal guy?

Like the one a few seats away, that was only a guy when the water was warm. Or the one she hadn't noticed at the other end of the car, a total emotional wreck who didn't look more than a few years older than she was, but had seen far more death than most people ever would.

"Hey, Shinji." Saki spoke, walking over to him.

"Don't compare me to some spineless wimp like Shinji," he began, his voice speaking in a thick Chinese accent, his face displaying not the slightest expression. "The name's Chichiri, y'know?"


Even as the humongous Cubone rampaged and Ilpalazzo approached in hopes of conquest, life in this confusing, chaotic city went on.