A/N: ITS OVER! Yes Garden Gnomes 3 is finally over and this is the dead last in the series and I will most likely not be doing another Shaman king fic again either as my interests have changed. So this chapter is dedicated to Jenbo for no particular reason just coz I feel like it.
And the films in the fic are not mine…damn aren't disclaimers stupid…isn't it obvious.
I hope you have enjoyed GG over the time it's been running and to all readers and reviewers I thank you for your support.
Chapter 5 The end of Garden Gnomes!
"Why is there a door like this here?" Horo asked nervously looking up at the floor to ceiling steel door.
"I don't know but it must be good!" Hao exclaimed, his excitement overcoming him.
"How can a door like that be good?!?" Horo shrieked fear overcoming his thoughts of rational and more logical thinking.
"Because the bigger the door the more, expensive, exciting and completely dirt ridden the thing or things behind it." Hao began working his way through the locks doing them one by one. Horo and Yoh were a little unsure on if they really wanted to find out what was behind the door.
"Maybe it's a torture room like in the 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' or 'Saw' or something." Horo began to name just about every teen slasher movie he knew that had some form of teens being tortured in them… which were several and began to imagine what it would be like to die that way. "We could get killed! Chopped into little pieces and never found! Forced to watch each other get tortured…."
"Or you never know they might have some kinky bondage 'S & M' stuff down here." Hao mused picking a lock near the floor. "Perhaps we could get Ren down and show these two how it's done." Hao grinned at his brother as the last lock came undone and Horo shrunk back.
"I would ask how you can undo locks so fast but I've decided I don't wanna know."
The three teens decided that on the count of three Hao would open the door and if they did see someone resembling 'leather face' in any way Hao got to fry them as Yoh and Horo ran as fast as they could collecting Ren on the way out of the Cottage.
"Okay…"
"One…"
"Two…"
"THREE!!"
Hao pulled the door open to reveal the contents of the basement.
"Bloody hell grandma's growing weed!" Hao cried walking into the large brightly lit room with row after row of potted plants with very strong bulbs hanging over them.
"Guess the guest house business is slow." Hao mussed as he walked along the rows of cannabis plants.
"Okay we found out what was in here can we go now?" Horo asked as the pyromaniac walked further into the room whereas he stayed stood by the door.
"Don't you want to have some fun first?" Hao sung as he plucked one of the plants out of its pot, clicked his fingers and produced a small flame. "Might get you to relax a little, so you can finally have the balls to molest that lovely Chinese boy of yours."
Horo raised an eyebrow. "You sure you haven't already started smoking this stuff." Hao giggled as he allowed the small flame on the tip of his finger burn the green plant.
10 minutes later…
"So Anna doesn't know!" Horo gasped as Hao and Yoh giggled like school girls.
"You think I would be alive if she did." Hao said still laughing. "Your reaction was priceless."
"Yeah well…you too are brothers and to…to…" Horo stuttered.
"To do 'splendid things'!" (XD I had to Jenbo I love the phrase) Hao squealed in excitement. "There is nothing wrong with that!" The long haired twin stated pointing a finger at the blue haired boy becoming suddenly serious. "I'm sure you've thought about doing 'splendid things' to a certain yellow eyed, pointed haired member of our group." Hao grinned ear to ear as the blush crept up onto Horo's cheeks.
5 minutes later…
"Where's Yoh?" Horo asked looking around the clouded room.
"YOH? BROTHER DEAREST!" Hao yelled leaning back to see under the tables (they were sat on the floor). Yoh from his position across the room bent down to also look under the tables spotting Hao. "WHAT YOU DOING?" Hao shouted.
"I found a friend!" Yoh stood back up and trotted back to the two others sat at the other end of the room, when he returned he had a very small, very dead looking plant with him.
"I have named him Sisal-Sama!" Yoh chirped sitting back down between Hao and Horo in their small circle.
5 more minuets later…
"Sisal-Sama says you should…"Yoh said after holding 'Sisal-Sama' to his ear a moment.
"Hmmm." Horo had stood and had been pacing for the last few minutes. He looked around randomly. "AH! SHIT…" he cursed covering his eyes. "Damn those lights are strong."
"Really?" Hao asked standing and looking straight into the nearest bulb. "AH MY EYES!" He yelled reeling back. "THEY BURN!" Yoh and Horo cracked up laughing as Hao opened his eyes and attempted to walk. "I…I see…" He muttered blinking a lot. "Colours…"
"I've been seeing colours for ages." Horo giggled.
"And…And…400 watt light bulb…Made in China…Every time I blink." Horo and Yoh laughed even more, Yoh losing his breath from laughing so much. (Yeah I know 400 watts is a little bit strong but Meh…)
"Brother!" Hao screeched as Yoh gasped for breath after losing the ability to breathe from laughing. "OMG HE NEEDS C.P.R.!!!" Hao pushed Yoh to the floor by his shoulders.
"You know we never did find out what C.P.R. stands for." Horo stated looking down at the twins in a position that Yaoi fan-girls didn't even have to think about to squeal.
The boys cracked up laughing again just for the pure hell of it.
Yet another 5 minutes passed…
"But I don't know if he likes me because sometimes I think he does then other times he's really cold and heartless. But sometimes it gets really bad. Like I see him training and I want to molest him right there or if he has just come out of the shower and drinks out of the carton of milk I think I want to be that milk carton. But when he was all crazy and I would watch him sleep to make sure he just didn't get up and start walking around all I could think about was him getting better and that maybe he wouldn't remember when he was that I had been by him all this time…" Horo had been ranting since the incident with the C.P.R.
"You didn't once think about molesting him in his sleep?" Hao asked sounding extremely shocked.
"Well no that's the thing. I just thought that it wouldn't be fair because that's not my Ren."
"Awww" Yoh and Hao both said in unison. "I wish Hao was like that sometimes, he begins to molest me sometimes at night when I'm sleeping when I have stuff to do in the morning." Yoh glared at his brother.
Hao placed a finger over his twin's lips. "Shhh! You like it really."
"Sisal-Sama says if you don't tell him now you'll regret it." Yoh told him after pushing his brother way. Horo nodded.
"Right!" He said standing up far too fast causing him to sway slightly. "I will!" Hao and Yoh stood up too like two army cadets under command.
Horo marched out of the basement followed by Yoh (and Sisal-Sama) then Hao after he threw a slightly smouldering plant over his shoulder.
The three teens walked through the cottage looking for their friend Ren; they finally came to the last room…the dinning hall. They opened the doors to find that all the tables had been piled up like a pyramid at one end of the room at that the floor and each stage of the table pyramid was covered in garden gnomes which they hadn't noticed weren't there as they wondered the cottage before. The three looked up to the top of the Pyramid to see Ren sat staring down at them.
"Bow down before my army!" Ren yelled from his position.
"Oh my god!" Unbeknownst to the three teens as they smoked down in the basement the fumes travelled through a venting system and into the room where Ren had been sleeping.
"The Gnomes could hide it no longer…I knew too much…I knew of their plans to take over the world but I, Tao Ren, have been recognised. They acknowledge my strength and I have become their leader."
"I can't believe this." Horo sighed.
"I can." Yoh mused.
"I can…" Hao added. "…smell burning."
"Huh?" The three teens looked out back into the lobby to see fire filling the door way which led to the basement slowly making its way into the reception area.
"SHIT!" They all yelled at once as the flames were quick to move over the carpeted floors. Horo dashed across the gnome filled room up to Ren on his Pyramid grabbing him in a fireman's lift and jumping down as Hao used a gnome to break a window.
"MY ARMY!" Ren shrieked. "ATTACK MY ARMY THEY TRY TO KIDNAP ME!"
Horo continued to run even after they had left the cottage until they were well away from the burning building.
"MY ARMY!" Ren wailed as he watched the cottage crumble.
Horo set the crazed shaman down on his feet and slapped him across the face. "Snap out of it Ren!" He yelled as Rens yellow eyes began to well up with tears. Horo sighed and pulled the shorter shaman into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." He said in a whisper.
Hao sighed running his hand through his hair.
"So." He said quite chipper. "How we getting home?"
A/N: THE END TT.TT