The first time he met Beverly, she was flirting with Sirius.

There was a familiar laugh filling the air. A sardonic eye roll showing James that no matter what pretty words Sirius says, she saw through his bull shit. And then there was the hand flowing unconsciously through her wild, black hair. The first time James saw Beverly, she was breathtaking.

He walked over to them. Told Sirius to stop acting like such a prat. Looked at Beverly and complimented her on resisting the 'Black" charm. And then he laid down a few lines of his own.

By the way he had said, you're way too beautiful for Sirius. A beauty like yours shouldn't be wasted on the likes of him.

She had laughed. Is that right?

Yes it is.

And who's worthy? You Mr…

Potter, James Potter. Then there was a moment, His outstretched hand. The warmth he got when she put her hand on his palm. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Beverly. She had said. Smiling, her eyes laughing. There was a tug of his heart. A familiarity he seemed to have forgotten.

She was the first girl he had looked at since he fell in love with Lily Evans three years before. In a matter of days, it felt as if he had known her forever. It was one of those relationships. They clicked.

Laughing eyes. Ironic smirks. An aloof intelligence wasted on sarcasm. Beverly, he soon realized, was the person he had forgotten how to be. She was him, and it scared him while completely invigorating him. Scared him because he never knew a person before who could look into the depth of his soul and understand his innermost angst. She could see him without scrutiny, without bias, and know exactly what he needs.

With Beverly, James has always been an open book.

She can read his eyes, his smile, the slight move of his hand when he's nervous that no one else would notice and feel what it is he wanted her to do.

The lines of friendship steadily became hazy. The border between colleagues and something else were redefined and Beverly became his best friend and most forbidden desire all at once.

It happened quickly. A moment. A look into those icy blue eyes when he realized that if he never found Lily, that if for the rest of his life all he had was Beverly, he would be okay. He would survive, but more than that. He would be happy.

With her, a time he thought passed is resurrected. A time when he knew how to be alive. It is an illusion. A trick of his mind in order to save his heart from further damage because although she doesn't fill the emptiness of his heart, she makes him believe that she does.

She fell in love with him one night unexpectedly. When they were together, Lily's memory followed them like a ghost. Haunting every touch. Haunting every accidental I love you that fled their lips in the moments of the highest passion.

And then one night, he had just needed her. Not because of loneliness or the need to feel something, but because he just needed her. It was the only time that she could look into his eyes and know that his passion was purely for her.

And she made the mistake of falling in love with him.

And here is where the story becomes complicated.

It was easy for her to love him. It was easy for him to assume that he loved her. With Lily, it was different. They were different. Lily and James have been completely wrong for each other from the start but tricked by the fates into a love that is everlasting. It is eternal and passionate and, at the time he met Beverly, his love for Lily was torturous.

Beverly, in contrast, is his other half. They fit together like matching pieces of a puzzle. Formed a sort of 'at first sight' bond with one look into each other's eyes. Beverly, by any standard, should have been James' soul mate.

But, she isn't.

Illusions only have power when the magician is around to bring them forth. When Beverly wasn't near him smiling. When her eyes weren't laughing and her intense remarks weren't heard, green eyes filled his mind. The thought of Lily, the need to see her, to be with her, overwhelmed him until the next moment he held Beverly in his arms.

The only person he could ever truly want is in front of him.

And that's how he knew that when Lily asked him to choose, no matter how heart breaking or painful it will be, there is no choosing between them.

James' heart has always belonged to Lily.

He wipes her hair out of her eyes. Clears away the fearful tear still randomly falling. He kisses her.

Slowly. In such a way that she could feel his love radiating from the kiss. Her arms curve around his neck as she leans into him. The kiss breaks. His forehead leans against hers as he swallows hard.

It's you, Lily, he whispers. It's always been you.

END!