I've been listening to lots of songs and just wanted to pour myself out on screen.
It's not poetry
It's not a story
It's not a journal entry (mostly because I don't HAVE a journal)
But it's a pontification of being torn between too desires - to be with your Love or to do your Love's will...
I'm sure many can sympathize with it.
The Bible not the song "I'll fly away" is mine. In fact, nothing I own is truly mine. It's on loan. That's why I have to be careful with it.
For: My friends in the Bible section I haven't chatted to for a very long time - Brittany and Erin (you know who you are). I hope you feel the same way sometimes and know that if you do... we're not alone.
Just have to keep standing strong.
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When I die, Hallelujah, by and by.
For some, death could come too soon
For a few, death couldn't come soon enough...
I am unlike most of those few
I know I have a mission
But keep falling on my backside
My Father helps me up
But I don't want this, I just want to run into His arms forever...
He gives me more than I need
More than I could want for myself
But I never asked for any of it -
A wonderful man... a great job... a disturbing, but deep down lovely family
Yet I find that it gets too much
I don't want it, when all I want is Him.
Am I ungrateful?
I know I have been and even if I try and stop myself, still am
People think it's weird to have the love of your life and
The Father who takes you under His wing...
All in one Being that many have turned into a myth anyway,
But I know Him, I feel Him and no one can take that away from me
There's irony in that I'm not ready to face Him
Not yet, not now
But while I should fear in this more, I just want the comfort of Daddy
My beloved
My betrothed
My body...
It's too hard to do it on my own
Though He never said I was alone
It would be nice to create something beautiful for You...
Yet I've realized You've created something beautiful for me
Yes, I am ungrateful (as if that's the worst of my sins)
But I still want to fly away...
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I'm not posting this for the reviews, but if you know or would like to know how this feels - contact me or leave a note.
But just so people know that loving God, isn't fickle. It is everything.
It's just too bad I'm not good with everything.