A/n This is my first AkuRoku AU oneshot. Besides Soriku being my favourite shonen-ai pairing, I'm also a fan of Axel and Roxas, and I'm using this as an opportunity to practice on POVs. This story is dedicated to my sister, who's a prime example of how someone with this specific condition can overcome everything and anything.

Disclaimer: I don't own Axel or Roxas or Hayner or Olette or Larxene. They're owned by Square Enix. Riku still hasn't proposed yet. Tammy's all mine.

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Just Breathe.

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Inhale 2 puff(s) as needed.

These words are as familiar to me as my name, and I've had it for years.

My name is Roxas Hikari by the way, and I'm perfectly normal, your average 15 year old with a skateboard and a cool mom.

Except for one thing.

"Breathe in...hold it...breathe out." My mom holds a steady hand against my back as I do as I'm told, a miraculous relief spreading into my lungs. She rubs me tenderly, holding the inhaler in my mouth as she prepares me for one more puff.

I have asthma.

"Breathe in...hold it...breathe out." I breathe, and I feel better now that I no longer feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest, but I'm still tired.

"Thanks mom." I sit up now, and my mom is looking at me with a stern face. I sigh tiredly, mentally preparing myself for the lecture I'm sure to get now.

"Roxas, why didn't you take you take your inhaler with you when you went skateboarding?" Her tone of voice is serious, but I can tell that she's scared beyond belief.

"I just forgot it..."

"You just forgot it?" Mom's voice goes up an octave, a sure sign that I'm in so much trouble. "Roxas, how can you just forget it? You know your condition—"

"I know, I know." I'm already annoyed; I know this entire speech by heart.

"If you know, then why don't you take more care of yourself?" She runs a tired hand through her light blond hair, a trait we share. Her eyes are run with worry, the bright blue irises, another thing we have in common, dulled with stress.

"Honestly Roxas, I can't let you skateboard if it's going to give you problems."

"Mom, it was only this one time..." I retorted, brushing off my jeans as I stand up from the couch, but she stands in front of me. Damn, she's blocking off my only escape.

"And this one time, you could've died." That serious tone of voice is back with a vengeance, I can feel myself fall victim to the guilt card.

"I don't want to stop skateboarding. I'll be more careful, I promise—"

"Roxas, I can't let you—!"

I don't want to hear more of this, so I push her out of the way, walking out the door. I can hear her footsteps behind me, so I grab my board and run to the street, getting on it and speeding away from her. I can't take it when she gets all emotional about my problem like that.

It's dark right now, the sky spread over the town like a navy blanket, cold yet comforting. I go at a slow and steady pace down the streets, careful not to exert myself.

My mom may worry too much, but she's mostly 110 right most of the time, especially when it comes to my health.

Ya see, I've had asthma ever since I was born. A few people in my family have it, but some don't, so I guess it skips generations. I just had to be one of the lucky ones who gets it.

Yippee for me.

My mom was constantly worrying when I was young, so she tried her best to make sure I felt normal. She let me play outside (except on Ozone Days), she let me keep a pet (I have an iguana named Izzy), and I'd play sports (but not for too long).

It was pretty normal I guess.

Except when I got to high school and I found out that none of my friends had asthma. I'm the only one who has to carry an inhaler around in his pocket, and I'm the one that keeps it a secret.

I turn down a street corner, my wheels rolling over the cobblestones, like quiet knocks in the darkness. I can hardly see, so I speed up, my breath quickening as I see a railing up ahead.

Against my own conscience's will, the little voice telling me how worried my dear old mom will be, I jumped on my board, landing on the railing and grinding down the rail. My adrenaline starts pumping, and I want to do more tricks.

As soon as my board lands on the ground, I speed up even more, shadows and dim lights flash past on the empty street, the wind rushing past my ears. I make out a ramp, and I'm floating, doing a 360 before gravity brings me back down, going faster and faster and it really feels like I'm flying.

Screw my conscience. This is awesome—

My breath stops short, and I slow down, almost falling off my board. It's hard to breathe, and I'm wheezing, my lungs desperately pumping for oxygen.

Gah, and I left my inhaler at home—!

I'm trying to steady myself, but my lungs are hurting like crazy and I'm feeling dizzy.

I collapse on the ground, a wave of sickness washing over me as my cheek lies against the cold street. I'm exhausted, and I still can't catch my breath.

"Hey!"

I look up and see a tall form running up to me, kneeling down to look at me. It's a guy I think, though I can hardly tell since I'm a little distracted by my predicament.

"Hey, are you okay?"

My throat is hoarse from trying to... "Can't breathe..."

"Hold on kid. Can you walk?"

I shake my head slowly, and he pulls me up, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling my arm over his head. I get a real good look at him: brilliant green eyes and bright red hair.

"C'mon, we'll go to my place and get ya fixed up." I nod in understanding; I'm too tired to talk.

We start walking, the guy shifting my weight every few minutes. He's much taller than me, and he's dressed in dark clothes, making his bright hair stand out.

I feel my eyelids start to droop, but he shakes me, green eyes boring into mine.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me. We're almost there."

"...Thanks."

"No problem...?"

"Name's Roxas..." I wheeze, trying not to put too much weight on this guy.

"Roxas..." He purses his lips in thought, before he snaps his fingers. "I know you! I sit behind you in Advanced Math at school."

I blink in realization; it's a wonder I never noticed his hair before in class. Really, it should be banned.

"And you are...?"

"The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

I nod my head yes, though I feel like its got lead in my brain. This guy is really weird.

We turn down a street corner, a well-lit house coming into view. It's small, quaint, and there's a little girl sitting on the patio, an old teddy bear in her hands.

"Onii-chan!" The little girl ran up to us, and she has bright green eyes and red hair just like Axel. "Who's the pretty boy?"

"Tammy..." He's speaking very calmly, once more shifting my weight onto him. I wish he'd quit doing that. "Please bring me your inhaler."

"'Kay Onii-chan." She runs inside, and Axel drags me into a crowded living room, papers and toys scattered here and there. He sets me down on the shabby-looking couch, before calling his sister again.

"Tammy, hurry up!"

"I'm coming Onii-chan!" She scurries up to him, holding an inhaler in hand.

He takes it from her, holding it up before studying me, a serious look on his face.

"Hey, can you take Albuterol?"

"Yeah." I'm incredibly weak, and it's a wonder he can hear me at all. Axel brings the inhaler to my lips, propping me up with his other arm. "Wha...?"

"C'mon, open your mouth." He sounds very much like my mother, and I follow his instruction. He pushes it into my mouth, giving me the first puff.

"Breath in...hold it...out." Relief once again floods into my lungs after a few seconds, and then a second puff comes as soon as I'm ready. I breathe deeply, and he smiles triumphantly.

"Better kid?"

"Yeah...thanks..." I lean back, still trying to catch my breath, breathing deeply to calm myself down. "My mom's gonna freak when she finds out though."

"Just rest a bit...I'll get my sister to get you something, okay Roxas?"

"Okay." I respond, and he walks out of the room. The little girl from earlier, Tammy I think, runs in carrying a glass of water. She holds it out in front of me, her big green eyes and red pigtails making her look like some shoujo chibi that walked right out of the TV.

"Here ya go pretty boy!" Her voice is high and squeaky, two qualities of the voice that annoy me, but on her it works.

"Thank you." I take the glass from her, the cool water feeling nice as it runs down my tight scratchy throat. "So...you're Axel's sister?"

"Yep! I'm his little sister, and I'm four!" She holds up four fingers to emphasize her point, smiling proudly, and I hold back a laugh since she's so cute. "Meet Haru-chan!"

"Huh?" She holds up her teddy bear. Its fur is a mixture of blues, purples and pinks, with a silvery ribbon tied around its neck. I'm guessing this is Haru-chan.

"Um...hi Haru-chan." I pretend to shake hands with the bear, and she smiles even more if it's possible. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's very nice to meet you, pretty boy!" She says in a squeaky voice for the bear, and I can feel my smile growing bigger. Couldn't hurt to play along.

"Please don't call me pretty boy Haru-chan. I like Roxas better."

"Rox...Roxas...?" She tries it out on her tongue, and she struggles with it. "Can I call you Roxy instead?"

"I'm sure he'll like that Tammy." I turn and Axel is back in the room, phone clasped in his hand. "But you, little missy, need to be in bed."

"Awww..." She pouts; stomping off towards what I assume is her bedroom. He ruffles her pigtails as she walks by, and then walks towards me. I can see him even more clearly now that I've rested up a bit.

His hair cascades down his back like a wild lion's mane, combined with his pale skin and emerald eyes. His clothes were dark, making him look even paler, but he glowed. It was really weird, but I'm thankful Axel was there when he was.

"I looked you up in student directory and called your mom. She's on her way now."

"Great." I mumble, but he hears me anyway.

"Hey, sorry, but I can't keep ya here. Your mom sounded worried." He runs a hand through the wild tangles, and I notice little black triangular marks under his eyes. Great, I'm rescued by a guy who wears make-up...note the sarcasm in my voice.

"Hey, you wear make-up missy?" I tease, but he laughs.

"Nah, they're tattoos. Got 'em when I was 14." Ye-ouch. I was afraid to even get my ear pierced, and he goes and gets ink injected in his face.

"Were you sober when you did that?"

"Of course...not." He grins like a cat, the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland...I just hope I'm not Alice.

Silence hits for a moment, but then we burst out laughing. This is a guy I barely knew, and I was laughing with him.

You can find friends in the weirdest places, and mine just happened to save my life in more ways than once.

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We really hit it off, friendship-wise anyway.

He really understood me, and treated me normally like I didn't have asthma at all, and the night we met, he was able to sweet-talk my mom into not grounding me. It was awesome to see my mom get all flustered like that, and I had to bite my tongue in order to keep me from laughing.

Axel was really something as well.

He is a pyromaniac. Axel can't help it, but he really likes fire. I mean, really, really, REALLY likes fire. He likes to burn things, and when he was in 8th grade, he set his teacher's wig on fire, accidentally-on-purpose.

His parents died when he was 15, and his sister was just two. Axel has been taking care of Tammy ever since. He's a really dedicated brother, even though he's a little strange.

"Hey Axel?"

We're hanging out under the bleachers in the gym. The janitors never bother putting them back against the wall, so we just hide out back there, talking during lunch or skipping out least-favourite classes.

"How come Tammy had an inhaler?"

His eyes are closed, and I don't know why he won't let me see...

"Thought it would be obvious since you and the little missy are in the same boat...Ahhh, but she does have asthma..." I let out a soft 'oh' in surprise, and reprimand myself for being so ignorant. "But she has it worse than you, even though she doesn't look it. She takes about 8 meds each day..."

"Really?"

"Really." He lets out a breath, an obvious sigh of slight sadness. "I have to watch her all the time...and I feel bad that I can't give her the normal life most kids her age have..."

I avert my eyes, and I understand. My mom does the same for me, and I've been ungrateful.

"Meh, but I don't feel bad."

"Why?"

"Because as much as I take care of Tammy and how much she depends on me, she's fiercely much more independent, and doesn't take crap from anyone." He laughs, and I'm suddenly confused.

"Huh?" Wow, great response Roxas.

"She runs around a lot, she loves animals, and she one time beat up a boy who was making fun of her pigtails. The little midget is tougher than I am."

We both laugh at this, leaning against the wall in the shadows under the bleachers. I'm glad no one can hear us, since we would be attracting a lot of weird stares right now.

"Man, I wish I was that tough..." It wasn't a serious comment, just something to make me laugh.

"You are..." I turn to him, half-surprised to find him staring intently at me, and his eyes are striking. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met."

This may sound mushy, but that was the most thoughtful thing I've ever heard.

"Awww..." I coo, smiling gently, fluttering my eyelashes like a girl. "I'm so touched Axel."

"Awww..." Now I'm even more surprised, for he wraps his arms around my waist and practically picks me up off the ground, holding me to him. "You are so cute Roxy!"

I can tell he is teasing me. I can tell he is playing with me.

Then why is my heart beating so hard? And why can't I breathe correctly?

His chest is against my back, like a sturdy, steady wall of reassurance that keeps me from losing myself. As I feel Axel's laughter down my spine, I wonder if I can call this an asthma attack.

Apparently, my attacks aren't triggered by affectionate closeness.

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It's exactly one month after I discovered I like Axel. And this is a problem.

This is a crush...on a guy.

And not just any guy.

This guy is Axel.

Now, if a complicated equation had all these variables and I add in some calculating mumbo-jumbo, I find that this has no answer.

No wonder I'm so bad at math. I plus Math equals pandemonium and chaos.

I plus Axel plus crush times confession, throw in the chance of ruining our friendship equals TROUBLE!

And, according to some sort of weird law in the social society universe, male and male relationship isn't exactly something that works out mathematically possible.

Crap.

I have a crush on my recently acquired best friend Axel, and I notice I'm no longer straight. Maybe I never was— Ahhh...that's not the problem. Get back to the main problem.

"Hey Roxas, what's up? You don't look at me anymore." The problem returns and complicates with a vengeance, and I hate the sound of concern laced in Axel's voice.

It's unnerving.

"Whaddya mean I don't look at you?" I laugh off my nervousness, but Axel doesn't buy it. Damn him for being so observant.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

I can't hide it from him, but that still doesn't mean I can't lie.

I run my hand through my spiky hair that defied gravity, ready to tell him. God, I feel like I'm going to have an asthma attack.

"Ya got my inhaler?" I say tiredly, and I hate myself for lying. He seems satisfied though, and gives me the stupid little plastic thing that has become my life-line. I take two puffs, feeling a little dizzy but breathing better.

"You sure you okay Roxas?" His concern is always a surprise, since he's one of the craziest bad-asses in school, but much appreciated.

"Yeah thanks." I say this somberly and I sound ungrateful, and I'm sure I can hear the little ping of hurt that shoots through him.

"Rox—"

"Sorry Axel." And I feel a headache coming on, pressure increasing painfully. "Don't think I don't appreciate your help...I really do."

I look at him, and he looks better, a bit happier. His lithe form is covered by his black muscle shirt, and his pants are baggy on his slim legs. Axel's light but strong, but I really wish he would eat more.

Axel sometimes worries me.

"Don't sweat it..." He smirks slightly, but there's sadness behind it. "...You just worry me sometimes."

And I suddenly can't breathe.

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I never wanted my problem to be triggered by this.

I don't think it's possible for inflammation of the lungs and overproduction of mucus in the windpipe to be triggered by emotional overdrive. But it's happening.

Why can't I control it?

I've avoided Axel for the last week. He's been calling me all the time, trying to catch me in between classes, even going as far as sending Tammy to my house to see me (she is irresistibly that cute!), but I can't afford to see him.

I can't blame my condition on my nervousness. It's not making me sick as a result of my feelings towards Axel.

And I'm not even sure of what I'm feeling for him!

I hop on my skateboard, gliding down the streets at a leisurely pace. It's still daylight, so there won't be a repeat of what happened last time.

I spot a couple of kids I know from school, Hayner's blonde head sticking out from the crowd, Olette walking with him.

"Hayner! Olette!"

"What's up Roxas? Haven't seen ya in a while!" Hayner runs up to me, dragging Olette with him and I notice that they're holding hands.

I smirk evilly. "You guys finally hooked up? Took ya long enough."

Both of them blush heavily and let go, but they're both stupid and will deny it.

"No idea what you're talking about Roxas." Hayner is looking everywhere except at Olette, and she's looking shyly at her feet.

"Yeah, yeah." We all laugh, them two looking nervous and bashful at the same time. We talk some, mostly on random things until Hayner leaves for his day job, leaving Olette and me alone.

"So Roxas, what's on your mind?" Olette asks me innocently, and I'm a little sad. Axel's still on my mind, and I hate it.

"Nothing Olette."

Unfortunately, she doesn't let off that easily. No wonder she and Hayner ended up together; they're both stubborn.

"Does this have to do with Axel?" Bang. Right on the dot.

"Yeah..." I sigh defeatedly, and I'm sure this will only complicate my current situation with the red head boy that I'm so obviously smitten with.

"Ya love him, don't cha?" She smirks mischievously, and my face falls victim to a light warmth that I'm sure is visible.

"Awww...that's so romantic!" She squeals, and I'm suddenly self-conscious. Am I being that obvious about it?

"I don't love him Olette!"

"Yeah ya do! You're turning all red!"

"I am not!"

"Are too! That's so cute!"

"Shut up!" I yell out in frustration, and people are suddenly staring at me. Olette is giggling as I cough nervously and glare at her.

"It's not like you can't tell him." She smiles weirdly.

"I can't. It just isn't that simple."

"Did you really think it was going to be easy?" Olette smiles and sweeps one brown lock of hair over her shoulder. "But the solution is always simple."

"Then what is it, oh great genius Olette?"

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words." And with that, she runs off into the crowd before I can inquire her further.

Gah, that girl makes no sense.

I get on my skateboard again, and roll towards Axel's house. I do need to apologize, even if I can't tell him how I feel...just yet.

I turn the corner and see the modest brick house come into view, Tammy sitting on the porch playing with Haru-chan.

"Hey Tammy!" She sees me and smiles widely, scurrying up to me.

"Hi Roxy! Are you here to see Onii-chan?" Her huge green eyes sparkle, and yet again, I say she is cute and I have no shame in it.

"Myep. Is he inside?" She nods, and I walk past her to find him. I need to make things right.

I turn down the hall beyond the living room, towards the kitchen. I can see Axel's shadow on the wall, and he's laughing...

...and someone's laughing with him.

Someone who is not me.

Someone who is with Axel.

Who is not me.

And is female.

I stealthily sneak up to the doorway, peeking over the edge. Axel's in the kitchen talking to some girl with short slicked-back blonde hair with weird bangs that stuck out like a pair of antennae. This worries me.

She's pretty.

"How come you don't visit often?" She asks him in a friendly tone of voice. Hmph, friendly my ass—

Since when have I become so possessive?

"Gotta work Larxene." He sighs tiredly, but the smile is still on his face. "If I don't, who will?"

"I can move back in, ya know." She leans back on the counter, this Larxene looking...suggesting. "I have a pretty good job; the electrical company pays me well and I can help take care of Tammy—"

"I just don't think it's a good idea right now..." Yes, yes, yes, YES!

"Okay..." She looks a little crestfallen and starts to walk towards the doorway. I quickly scamper down the hallway to the living room and hide behind the couch. Both come through, and Larxene is at the door.

"Hey, no sweat. I still like it when you visit..." Yeah, yeah, push her out the door already—

"Yeah." She responds as she...pulls him into a hug.

Axel doesn't completely mind, since his arms are around her waist and her face is smashed in his hair, eyes closed in contentment.

"Axel..." I whisper.

He whips around so fast that it sends his hair flying like a streak of flame and he sees me. I can feel tears welling up behind my eyes but I hold them back...it's not worth it.

"Roxas, what are you—?"

"..." My mouth opens, but nothing comes out but a sour croak. Great, now I'm crying.

"Roxas—" He comes towards me, and I can't bear it right now and I feel sick.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I yell and I run out, not even bothering to grab my board. I run past Tammy who calls to me, and I hear Axel running after me, but I don't care.

I hate this.

I turn down a narrow alley way, and he's still following me, but just barely. I knock over garbage cans to slow him down, but he jumps over them like there nothing.

"Roxas, stop!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I turn sharply to the right across the street, and he loses his balance as he slips. I give an extra burst of speed, making sure I lose him.

After what seems like hours, I ended up in the Risk District of town. Burnt up buildings and graffiti litter the streets and shadows dance in every corner. I shiver and try to breathe slowly, for my asthma is causing problems again. I let out a particular sharp cough, gasping for air and...

...the shadows are alive?

A group of huge guys stride out of out the darkness, looking very threatening.

"Hey kid, wanna spare some money for the needy?" The tallest one says freakishly, and I back up, getting ready to run again, but low and behold, I started to wheeze.

"What's with the kid? Just another skinny ass that just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time?" Another snickers, cracking his knuckles. Okay, I'll admit it now: I'm terrified.

"Well, we'll just have to show him what happens when punks cross over into our territory..." They come closer, and I'm kinda pressed up against the wall, with no where to run, far from home, AND without my inhaler.

Can this day get any worse?

The tall guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out an eight inch long knife.

Myep, it just got worse.

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What was really felt like a few painful minutes seemed more like a few fiery eternities in Hell. I sit coughing on the ground, the guys leaving me in the rain after they...punished me.

I'm holding my arm, and the ice cold water washes over me like white-hot fire on my skin. My arm now sports a few quick slices (courtesy of a very sharp knife) in the shape of a disfigured heart, bleeding freely and mixing with rain and sweat and dirt.

I can hardly breathe and I'm wheezing more and more.

This is the worst day of my life.

I lay on the concrete, water and mud mashing into my hair, the spikes falling limp with grime and water. I can hear sirens and calls, but none are directed at me.

I'm nobody.

"ROXAS!"

I shift slightly to see...Axel.

Axel.

Axel.

"Ax...el...?" My voice is hoarse, and I'm feeling more than just a bit of discomfort. He falls to his knees to help me up, and I'm too tired to care and push him away.

"Roxas, don't move...shit." He rips his shirt and ties it around my forearm, the red darkening on the grey cloth. "What happened to you?"

"...You..."

He freezes as he hears me, and I'm sure that my condition has him nearly scared to death. I'm shivering in the cold rain, bleeding and injured, and I'm still going to blame him for all my misfortunes...?

"C'mon." Axel's hair falls limp, slightly covering his eyes, and loops his arms under my legs and around my back and picks me up like nothing. "First things first; we need to get you out of the rain."

I nod mutely, and allow him to carry me. I'm sore and my mind is numb, but that's nothing compared to how little I can breathe.

And it's not because of my asthma.

Axel heads into a building, old and falling apart, but I'm surprise when I see a sofa, a fridge, and a few books laying around carelessly in one of the rooms. He lays me down on the sofa, before setting off into one of the next rooms, vanishing from sight.

I take in my surroundings, and I figure this place is his hideout or something. Axel did say he had a place where he hung out sometimes.

He said he'd show me sometime if I wanted.

"Sit up." I shift my head and look at him; he's got a blanket and a first aid kit. He lays the woolen blanket over me, and I take it, my skin greedily absorbing warmth. He grabs my arm roughly, ripping away the cloth before opening up the kit.

I hiss in pain as he dabbed iodine on my arm before wrapping it in a bandage. It stings really badly, but Axel shushes me like I'm a child. I'm not very happy.

"Stop." My voice is sharp, and he looks at me slightly offended as I snatch my arm away. "Leave me alone."

"Roxas." Axel gives me a hard look, and I know that he's not going to cut me any slack. "Just let me do what I need to do."

"Shut up." I retort, crawling away from him. "Just leave me alone."

There's no noise except the tap, tap, tap of rain on the shattered window, and I'm still breathing heavily. Damn it, I still need my inhaler.

"Just gimme my inhaler." I try to snatch it out of his hand, but axel pulls it out of my reach.

"Whaddya do—?" And he pushes it past my lips, a slight smirk on his face. I sigh angrily, the growl muffled.

"Breathe in..."

I breathe.

"Hold it..."

I've been holding my feelings in for a while. It's way too much.

"Breathe out..."

It's too much.

"Breathe in..."

How can I tell him?

"Hold it..."

Why does Axel care so damn much?

"Breathe out."

I love...

"There, was that so hard?" He smiles gently, a little less teasing and a bit more...something.

"Axel..." I'm trembling, but it's not from the cold. "Um..."

"Yeah Roxas?"

"Um..." God, my throat is dry, from my coughing and nervousness. "I...wanted to tell you something..."

"What is it?" He's confused, and it kills me. I can't do this.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

"Roxas?"

Goodbye rational thought.

My lips crash to his, and he falls back in surprise. My eyes are shut tight, and I'm scared as anything right now. But I can do this. I want to do this.

After what seems like a few eternities, I pull back, eyes still sealed tight. I shift away to the edge of the couch, still frightened like a little kid.

"Sorry Axel."

My eyes are still closed, and I know he hates me now.

"Took ya long enough."

My eyes snap open in surprise, and Axel is smirking, his emerald eyes sparkling. He shifts over to me, and wraps his arms around me, keeping me warm.

I'm shaking, I'm so happy, and I let out a slight cough.

"It's okay." He says gently, running a calloused hand through the spiky blonde strands. "Just breathe."

Just breathe.

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A/n And done! Please review on my first AkuRoku fic! I hope it wasn't too outta character!