Beta: RisqueSno

Disclaimer: DC owns all these characters and WB owns DC and Time Warner owns WB and I'm pretty sure the rest of the world.

Author Notes: This little idea came to me after reading some GCPD not to mention No Man's Land. All hail No Man's Land! What can I say? I love psychos and their chicks.

Two of a Kind

This was how it was going to end. Renee couldn't say she was surprised; she knew what she was getting into when she entered the force and accepted it. Of course, a degree of danger went with the job, but it was tripled due to the city she served in.

So she stayed frozen in her hiding place, hoping for the best. Maybe someone would show up to rescue her. It was doubtful though, she wasn't even technically on duty. No one would be looking for her until her next shift.

Renee nursed her injured leg, trying to put a halt to blood pouring out of it, vaguely wondering if she'd ever walked again. Not that it really mattered; she'd be lucky to still be breathing in the next ten minutes. She was far too injured to make a getaway.

It was very late, around two in the morning, when Renee had gone out for a bite to eat earlier that night. Strange hours for most folks maybe, but for someone who worked the night shift it was what she was accustomed to. "God bless twenty-four hour fast food," was a sentiment often heard from her.

Her apartment was a short walk from the restaurant so Renee simply scooped up some cash from the bottom of her purse, grabbed her badge and gun (because a cop was always on duty) and left her other belongings behind. Upon arriving, the restaurant was all but empty as was typical at that time of night. Renee had barely noticed the girl with blonde pigtails and oversized shades as she glanced over the menu. However, as the woman began to order, her voice jolted Renee into instant recognition.

Harley Quinn was to be assumed armed and dangerous "and a total whack job" her partner, Bullock, often added. Renee didn't want to endanger any employees of the restaurant so she decided to wait until Quinn had exited the building before making her move.

After receiving her order Harley stuck her hand inside the bag, searched the contents, and emerged with a plastic toy. "I already have this one," she said in an annoyed tone.

"Sorry lady, that's all we got left," the cash register attendant replied uncaringly.

"You're not sorry, but you will be! I'll be back!" Harley vowed dramatically as she went for the door with Detective Montoya discreetly on her heels.

"Why do we always get the freaks here?" the attendant complained tiredly to himself.

It had occurred to Renee that calling for backup would be the best thing and she cursed herself for leaving her cellphone at home. She could still contact headquarters, but if she waited Quinn was sure to make a clean break. The street was deserted so she felt safe enough to make the arrest.

She readied her weapon and shouted, "FREEZE! POLICE!"

Harley dropped her bag of food and darted out of the way just as Renee pulled the trigger. The clown was just too quick after Ivy had been kind enough to juice her up.

Renee followed Harley down the alleyway she had dashed into only to find it empty. Her breathing was heavy as her head darted around in search. She was beginning to think she had lost her when Harley's head appeared on top of the building to her left.

"Hiya gumshoe!" the blonde exclaimed brightly as she started firing wildly into the alley below.

The hardened detective bolted knowing full well the clown had the advantage with the high ground. She had nearly reached the mouth of the alley when a ricochet bullet met with her calf and exited out the opposite side of her leg.

She felt warm blood running down the appendage as she continued to move as quickly as possible. Riding on pure adrenaline, she turned sharply and limped her way down another alleyway and then another attempting to lose her pursuer.

Once the unnatural high faded, she stumbled painfully to a nearby dumpster and crouched behind it. The panic-driven adrenaline rush had pushed her injured leg harder than it should have. Renee was worried she had damaged it further than it already was, not that she had much choice.

Renee tried to silence her breathing as she heard foot steps approaching along with a voice that said, "She's sprung a leak."

That's when the detective realized her attempts at hiding were for naught. She had left a trail of blood behind leading to her exact spot. Renee resigned herself to the inevitable as the footsteps entered the alleyway.

The dumpster rocked beside her as Harley jumped on top of it, peering down at her prey. "I've got ya cornered, copper," she said happily. The clown fixed her gun on the police woman. Renee tightly closed her eyes as she waited for the final blow.

Instead of a loud shot, she heard Harley's curious voice, "Say…you look familiar."

Renee opened her eyes and looked up at her in bewilderment. "What?" she asked in confusion.

"Your face rings a bell. I just can't place it," Harley explained as she closely scrutinized her victim.

"I've brought you in a couple of times," Renee stated bluntly.

"…No…That's not it," Harley responded.

Renee sighed. "Trust me. That's it. We don't run in the same circles."

"I've got it!" Harley exclaimed in excitement. "You're Harvey's cop!"

Renee slumped even lower to ground, wishing she had already been shot. "I'm not his cop," she breathed in exasperation.

"Sure you are! Everyone knows that." Harley lowered her weapon and sat down against the wall across from the wounded officer.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather get this over with," Renee stated in annoyance.

"Nah, can't do it now," Harley conceded. "Don't want someone like Two-Face on your bad side. Trust me."

"In that case, I suppose you can go on your merry way. There's no way I can bring you in with this leg." Renee continued to try and bandage her wound with a scrap of cloth she had managed to rip off her shirt.

It was clear Harley had no intention of leaving.

"I've just been dying to meet you!" Harley cried with all the enthusiasm of a teenage girl dying for gossip. "Anyone 'ol Harv deems worthy of interest must be something else."

"Listen Quinn, I know how much you love to screw around in people's heads, but if you think you're going to bother me, you've got another thing coming."

Harley smiled slyly. "Patient puts up strong barrier before questioning has even begun. Ooooh, Twofers must really get to you."

"I'm not your patient. Hell, you're not even a doctor. And I'm sick and tired of everyone accusing me of starting something with a man I have a fuckin' restraining order against!"

"People actually say that?" Harley asked, somewhat surprised.

"They don't have to. You can see it in their eyes," she responded distantly.

"Or you are seeing it there for them. That's what we professionals call 'projecting guilt'." Before the detective could rise to defend herself again, Harley added, "It's fun though, isn't it?"

Renee gave her a questioning look, so Harley elaborated. "To have the eye of someone so notorious, I mean. It's fun."

"I suppose it might be if I were a lunatic, a lunatic that confuses abuse for affection," she replied insultingly.

The clown shook her head sadly. "And here I thought you'd actually get it. Me and Red…we're friends, but she doesn't really get me. It's hard sometimes, y'know…feeling alone."

Renee did know and for a moment felt a pang of sorrow for the neglected woman in front of her. For some reason, she felt an explanation was in order. "I don't know what would make you think that, Harley. There was never anything there for me with Harvey. …You do know I'm a lesbian, right? I mean, Two-Face himself was the one that outted me."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard that. Believe me, Mistah J has been having a field day with that one. But…I don't know, the timing of it all seemed odd to me. Harv's stalking you and BAM! All of the sudden you're gay. I saw it as either you attempting to get him to leave you alone or you running from something you saw in yourself, which would be the most severe case of denial I've ever seen. I like to think it's the latter. It's the romantic in me."

"Sorry to disappoint," Renee replied, anger rising in her voice once more, which Harley was quick to catch on to.

"Don't worry. I still think you're lying your ass off and to yourself of all people. It's actually quite sad, but I have faith you'll come around one day."

"There is nothing for me to come around to! I'm gay because I'm gay and there is nothing more to it! I can't help if some nutjob decided to make me their obsession!" she ranted on with flaring nostrils.

Harley very calmly interrupted her by asking a very simple question. "How did you two meet anyway?"

"…What?" Renee asked, trying to switch gears quickly from her venting.

"Harvey keeps things pretty close to the vest. You might've noticed he's not all that talkative. No one really knows how this all started."

Renee didn't know why she felt compelled to share. She knew she could clam up anytime. Maybe she thought she that she could explain it all away, or perhaps it was nice to finally have someone to hash it out with. Either way, she told the story of how they had met after the quake. How he was assisting in search and rescue missions during one of Gotham's most dire hours, and seemed genuine in his attempt to turn around his life. (She failed to mention the fact that his coin kept coming up 'good heads' though she wasn't sure why.) Above all, Two-Face seemed to really take a shine to her and when Batman showed up she was able to talk both of them out of any sort of conflict.

"I still don't get why you stuck with him. Batsy was right there; you could have let him drag Two-Face off and out of your life," Harley questioned once the story was finished.

Renee shrugged slightly. "I guess, I felt like it'd be better for him and ultimately everyone else if he stuck with me. …He seemed to be doing better."

"Well, that certainly rings a bell. And you came up with that diagnoses as a licensed professional," Harley replied sarcastically.

"He was helping people! We were making a difference! You name another time he's been that unselfish."

"This isn't about him! It's about you! You didn't have to take him under your wing, but you did. Why?"

"I didn't choose him! He chose me!" Renee said frantically.

"You didn't have to accept. Why?"

"No one else had the kind of impact on him that I seemed to have," she cried as tears began to well up in her eyes. "I don't know…it just…felt right."

"It felt right for a reason. Why?"

Tears rolled down the detective's cheeks. There didn't seem to be any reason to hide it anymore, so she did not try to choke back her audible sobs. "I don't know. I just don't know. What do you want from me?"

"That wasn't an answer. All I want is an answer. Why? Why? WHY!"

"Because it made me feel special!" Renee blurted out instantly. Her eyes went wide and seemed to see everything all at once as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

Harley leaned in toward her and said in a dark tone, "I knew you got me."

Then she stood up and gave the detective her hand. Renee took it without thinking and felt herself being pulled to her feet. Harley put one of Renee's arms around her neck and supported her out of the alley.

"So, which way is home?" Harley asked. Renee unthinkingly nodded in the direction of her apartment building between tears.

They reached the building and Harley hoisted her up the stairs and through Renee's doorway. She sat the emotional woman down on a sofa and headed for her bathroom, returning after a moment with a cool washcloth and began dabbing Renee's eys.

"There, there. Shhhh. Don't you feel better now that it's out?" Harley soothed.

"Actually…I do, a bit," Renee admitted between sniffs.

At that moment, Harley's cell phone rang and her eyes grew at the caller ID. "It's Mistah J! I forgot about his Happy meal!" she cried with extreme worry.

"That's okay," Renee said. "He already had that toy anyway."

At that, both women burst into laughter as Harley headed for the door.

"I really do have to leave. I already have enough talk goin' round 'bout me and Red without adding you in the mix," she joked. "…You going to be okay?"

"…I will be," Renee reassured her as best she could.

Harley nodded knowingly and disappeared.

Renee dialed 911. As she waited for the ambulance's arrival, she slipped her hand in her pocket and pulled out a double-sided coin. The detective admired it as she flipped it through her fingers and thought that maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe she shouldn't feel so guilty that someone…that he made her feel special.

END

End notes: If you want to read more on the Renee/Two-Face relationship, here are my recommendations: Batman Chronicles #16 (where it all began), too many issues in No Man's Land to name or you could go with the novel by Greg Rucka, Detective Comics #747, the Gotham Central: Half a Life storyline. In fact, there is a Gotham Central: Half a Life trade paperback that includes Batman Chronicles #16 and Detective Comics #747. Spiffy!