Push It, a naruto fanfic

A/N: I needed to help get my thoughts moving to update my other fic, and this happened. Hope someone likes it. The song scattered throughout is called 'Push It' by the band TOOL (the love of my life). The song is really important to me, and to this story; so please don't skip over reading the lyrics. And if you have any thoughts, please leave me a note.

Push It

By: Ane S. Thesia

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She used the tips of her fingers to lightly tap his door. He always left the door unlocked this late at night, because they both knew she'd show up there. But she never let herself in, even though he told her to. She always reminded herself that there was a chance he wouldn't want her there.

But they both wordlessly knew that would never be the case.

He'd always answer the door with sleep-laden eyes and ruffled hair, boxer shorts riding low on his toned core. There would be no words as he stepped aside to let her enter, and there wouldn't be any words the moment they embraced like they seemed to do every other night. She always kept her eyes averted at first, like as if she didn't know why she was there.

She said her house was too quiet, but he knew it was a lie.

I will choke until I swallow.
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

It was an addiction that proceeded far beyond reason. Their hindered paths crossed all too often, the same unrequited passions sniped by fate. Hopes, friends, dreams… they shared the common bond of heartache and loss… and homes that were too quiet.

They'd known one another for twelve years but always clung like the children they used to be. In the middle of the night, hurried kisses and blind passion replaced the screams of two children who used to take their anger out on one another by violence that drew their blood one too many times. Now they drew passion, and tears, and moans. Trying to fill deep holes that couldn't seem to fill back up again.

But you're…
Pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you push it on me.

These nights he'd study her diligently, waiting for her to lie and then attack him with her body; heart and soul on her sleeve.

Rest your trigger on my finger.
Bang my head upon the fault line.
Take care not to make me enter.
'Cause if I do we both may disappear…

And as the time ticked by they never noticed. This was their time. Their only time to show what was underneath it all, tear the masks away.

Pulling away at clothing, grasping at more than what could be seen.

But you're pushing me.
Shoving me. Push it on me.

They would writhe and sing one another's names. She'd clamp her legs behind his back, needing, arching her own to match his movements. He'd give her all he had and then some, and she'd leave long, red marks on his chest and back. And she'd plead him with emerald eyes and he'd stamp her image with artic blue.

He'd never stop shivering at her touch in his blond hair. And the marks he bit on her collarbone threatened to stay forever. And when she'd gasp, he'd gasp. When he moaned, she'd moan.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me.
Alive when you're shoving me down.

And when she cried, he'd cry.

But I'd trade it all…
For just a little…
Piece of mind.

When they'd finally expend the last of all they could give, they'd lay together for hours twisted in sweaty sheets. Sometimes she'd cry on his chest silently, somehow able to rally more unspent emotions.

But, sometimes…

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Sometimes she'd sigh contentedly into his bare chest, and he'd smile up at the gods with feelings more than purely genuine. And she could feel it in her heart.

Saw that gap again today.
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

He'd murmur words into her pink lochs, and her entire body would tingle. Strong, muscular arms would wrap around her body and hold her so close she'd wonder if she was slipping away without her own notice.

Delicate fingers traced his jaw line, savoring the feeling of the soft skin of his lips. Light touches would trace down her spine, and over her hips.

Amidst loving, soft kisses he'd find himself speaking into her body the same thing every time…

"…please, stay..."

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay.
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

And for all the stubborn qualities she carried within her, she never would. And he didn't care when he said he loved her and she simply smiled.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

And as with every major storm, she'd arrive in a torrent and depart with a drizzle, leaving the world changed and sated. And she knew she had that effect. Against all odds her body would always leave the comfort of his embrace and take her back to her empty apartment to lose herself in her thoughts or her work. But her mind never wandered too far. And neither did his.

He never held this against her. And someday, she'd tell this man she'd known for so long that despite the way things started, they weren't the same. It wasn't the same as the first time they collided in private moments in the darkness three years before. The addiction was too strong now, and they both waited patiently till the end of every day knowing what they could have if they wanted it-- when the stars were towering in the sky and the heavens smiled upon them and the streets were silent and no one could invade or interfere.

Just remember I will always love you.
Even as I tear your fucking throat away.
But it will end no other way.

Someday she'd tell Naruto she loved him.

It will end no other way.