What Kids Know

Chapter 1/1

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons, living or dead are purely coincidental

Spoilers: This takes place just prior to Dream Team and is a sequel to 'What Babies Know.'

A/N: This was written in answer to Cece's HBX challenge for August of 06'. Sorry I'm late, but better late than never. (grin)

2240

Saturday

April 15, 2005

Hwy 66 East

Somewhere in Northern Virginia

Harm squinted against the headlights of an oncoming car. He was driving into a hard rain, the storm making the night sky inky and black. He'd left Mattie's hospital room, a few hours before. It had been a great day; Mattie had regained consciousness the night before, but with that blessing came a confrontation with Tom Johnson. Harm thought he'd seen the last of him, but the nursing staff was required to report her change of status. They were only able to reach him through a third party, Tom left the number of a bar he frequented with the hospital and they called him.

Flashback- - - to 10 hours prior

Tom Johnson strode into the dimly lit hospital room. Harm could smell the alcohol before he even turned to face him. Mattie had just fallen asleep; he turned and pointed back toward the door.

"She's asleep." Harm was whispering but he left no doubt in Tom's mind that he should leave the room, under his own power….or Harm's. "Outside."

Harm quietly and swiftly made his way to the doorway of Mattie's hospital room.

"I have a right to see my own daughter..." Even though he was drunk, shame kept him from meeting Harm's eyes.

"Yes, you do, but the first time she sees you, you're not going to be drunk and smelling of alcohol. She's scared Tom; she's in for a long recovery. This isn't just a bump in the road."

Tom leaned against the wall and from where he stood; he could see his daughter lying in her bed, her vent removed, with her bandages, casts and neck brace still in place. He began to ramble, "I have a right to my own daughter…she's mine, I need to see my girl."

Tom's mood changed suddenly as he narrowed his eyes, looking at Harm with contempt.

"You honestly resent me….because you know I'll always be her father. She's not yours." Tom's voice slurred.

"Stop it. You'll wake her." Harm stepped closer to him, blocking his view of Mattie. "You have to think of Mattie."

"I am thinking of Mattie, she's my girl. I'm doing my best…you have no faith in me, you'll poison her mind….against me."

"I've never done that…all I've ever done was try to take care of Mattie when she had no one. This isn't about you Tom. This is about Mattie. Now sober up and come back when you can be here for her." Harm clenched his jaw, angry that a person could be so selfish when it came to his own flesh and blood.

Tom began to cry. "I can't…I can't stand to see my baby…like this. I can't."

"You have to try."

"I can't." Tom seemed to cower against the wall.

"Well I can...and I will."

"You're going to take her away." Tom's bloodshot eyes glazed over as he stared into space.

"I'm not taking her away, but I'm going to take care of her, someone has to. She's got a lot of work ahead of her, for her recovery, she needs someone who can be there for her and you just said…..you can't."

Harm stepped toward him, "Look Tom, let me buy you a cup of coffee, we need to talk about this, about what's best for Mattie."

"No, I'm not talking to you now. You don't know what I'm going through….no body knows..." He staggered away from him, down the hall toward the elevators.

Harm tried to follow him and caught the attention of a nurse at the nurse's station. "Call security, he can't drive like this."

"I didn't drive….I took a cab…I'm not stupid…I'm not going to kill anybody else." Tom began to sob. "My wife….my wife." Tom was still stumbling away, impatient now to get away from the mirror Harm was holding in front of him, one that his drunken stupor couldn't blot out. The reflection Harm was making him see, was one of a selfish man, and a terrible father. He couldn't bear anymore of it.

It took all of Harm's restraint to keep from telling Tom Johnson just what he thought of him at that moment. He might be Mattie's father, but if Harm had anything to say about it, he wouldn't be making any decisions for her until he sobered up. Mattie needed someone to be strong for her and stand between her and this self destructive alcoholic. He was that someone, he had been before and he would be again.

The elevators opened and two security guards stopped Tom before he got on the elevator.

The nurse nodded, "That's him." She turned to Harm. "I called as soon as he got off of the elevators. He was trouble the last time he came here."

One of the guards reached for Tom's arm. "Come on buddy…lets get you into a nice dry cell, so you can sleep it off."

The security guards had ushered him into the elevators and were headed down to the lobby before Tom knew what was happening.

Harm walked back into Mattie's room and saw that her eyes were open. As he walked closer to the bedside she spoke to him.

"He hasn't hit bottom yet….when he does, you can talk to him….he'll be sorry then."

Harm nodded. "He might be, but we're not going to worry about that now, Tom is going to be fine. You just have to think about getting better."

"I know." Mattie looked at him, with eyes that had already seen too much for a girl of her years. "He's not a bad man Harm; he's just not a good father."

Harm nodded his agreement and noticed a tear slip down the side of her face, he placed his hand over hers, wishing he could do more to comfort her.

"I'm with you Mattie…."

"I know….somehow, I just knew you'd be here."

End of Flashback- - - -

As he approached DC, Harm changed lanes on the highway and he thought of how brave Mattie was, in spite of everything that had happened to her. Her spirit was battered, but it was still in tact.

His thoughts immediately turned to Mac; he took out his cell phone pressing her number on his speed dial. He glanced at the digital clock on his dash, and realizing how late it was, had nearly disconnected, when Mac answered,

"Mackenzie.'

"Mac."

She recognized his voice immediately. "Hey…where are you? Is everything alright?" Mac was worried about the hour too, but for a different reason. She hoped Mattie was alright.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry I called so late, I was on my way home…and uh, just thought you might want to know…she's awake."

"Oh Harm…that's great."

Both phones crackled when lightning illuminated the Northern Virginia landscape.

"You still there Mac?"

"Yes."

Harm heard a baby cry out and Mac sweetly reassuring it. "It's okay sweetie, just a little lightening."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the Roberts, babysitting…. giving them their first night away, since long before the twins were born."

"Just you and all four of their kids?"

"I know. I was feeling pretty good about it until about half an hour ago. I had them all down by 2000, but when this storm started, Nikki and little AJ decided to wait it out down here." Mac looked around the den, "and on top of that, we lost power about an hour ago."

"Nikki and AJ, huh?" In his minds eye, he could see Mac in the Roberts den, with Nikki in her arms and little AJ close beside her.

"Yes, Harm, I have Nikki, your number one fan."

Harm smiled at the memory of the afternoon he spent entertaining her while her parents were hosting their open house. She had been pretty taken with him at that. If he recalled, she was pretty attached to Mac too.

"Do you need an extra pair of hands?" Suddenly being alone in his apartment with his thoughts didn't seem like a good idea.

"You should probably get some rest…"

A loud clap of thunder was followed by the sizzle of lightening.

"I'll be there in about 10 minutes."

"I'll leave the front door unlocked, in case these two decide to go to sleep before you get here." Relief and anticipation flooded through her as she looked down at AJ who had wrapped his arms around her legs as she stood holding Nikki. If she didn't get these two back to sleep there was a strong chance the other two would be awake in no time, and she wasn't sure she could handle that all by herself. She needed his help, and mostly she just wanted to see him.

Harm arrived shortly thereafter, stepping in and peering over into the den, the picture they made his heart ache. Mac was holding the baby on her shoulder, reading the book in her lap, by candlelight. AJ spied him through sleepy eyes, as he lay on the couch next to Mac.

"Uncle Harm!"

Harm brought his finger to his lips, "Shhh, little guy, you don't want to wake Jimmy and Nicholas." Harm was whispering, but loudly.

Mac smiled as he took off his jacket, shaking off the rain, before he scooped AJ up into his arms.

"I've been looking after Aunt Mac for you; she had to bring my sister down so she wouldn't wake anyone up."

Harm looked at Mac grinning at the boys implication that Mac needed looking after and that he was doing it for him. "I'm sure she appreciates your help."

"And do you Uncle Harm? Did you like that I looked after Aunt Mac for you?"

He looked in Mac's direction "Yes, I do….I like that."

Mac's face flushed pink and she looked away from them.

Little AJ yawned, suddenly feeling as content and as safe as he would if his own father had walked through the door.

"Come on AJ, you need to get some sleep, I can take over looking after Aunt Mac now."

He nodded as Harm carried him to the couch, in the candle lit room.

Harm sat down next to Mac and AJ sat between them. Mac's arm automatically came up and AJ lay into the curve of her arm. Nikki peered up at Harm.

"Hello young lady." Harm said in his deep and rich voice.

Nikki shyly ducked back down, hiding in the curve of Mac's neck.

"Oh, so she's shy now." Harm smiled broadly.

"Give her a minute." Harm being so near to her and the sound of his voice sent a tingle down her spine.

As soon as Mac said it, Nikki peeked back at Harm and then reached for him.

"You're good Mackenzie."

Harm reached for the cherub faced infant, who immediately cuddled onto his shoulder. As Harm placed his hand on her back, he thought of Mattie. He swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump in his throat.

"Harm, are you okay?" His sadness was plain on his face.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I was just thinking, I wish Mattie were this small, that I could just take her away from all she has to go through and protect her from it, somehow."

"Harm…I'm sure it means everything that you're there for her." Mac reached for his hand.

Harm was quiet for a moment. "It's all I can do now." He closed his fingers around her hand.

"You're going to try to regain guardianship aren't you?"

Harm nodded and let go of Mac's hand, patting Nikki's back, comforting her as she burrowed deeper into his shoulder, strangely, taking as much comfort from the gesture as she did.

"You're a good Dad Harm, Mattie is lucky to have you." He looked so natural, holding Nikki, the awkwardness he had initially long gone. That one afternoon of helping Bud and Harriet with her had almost made him a pro.

"I'm lucky to have her."

"I wonder sometimes if I have what it takes to be a good parent." Mac looked down at the now sleeping AJ and brushed his hair back.

"Are you serious?" he made a show of looking at AJ nestled into Mac's arm. "What was it that you said a few weeks ago about babies?"

Mac frowned and then smiled as she remembered. "I said that babies know, they have a sense of whether or not someone is a good person."

"I think kids have a good sense of people too. You've always been great with kids Mac. Remember Chloe? There was no one better for her than you."

Mac listened quietly, "I still hear from her from time to time. I miss her."

"I know, but maybe its time to think about your own children."

Mac looked at him warily, that was a painful subject, one she still had difficulty talking about.

"I haven't given up Mac, if you still want to." He hadn't allowed himself to think about it at all lately, until today. Mattie was going to get better and he was going to take care of her and make a home for her….and for Mac and any children they might have. Mattie's regaining consciousness seemed to open all the possibilities for him.

Mac was getting slightly uncomfortable, this conversation was getting too personal, too fast. 'How did we get to this place, anyway?' she thought. "I think we should put these two to bed." Both children were deep into sleep.

After they settled the children into their beds, with Mac leading the way with a small flashlight, they tip toed back down the stairs.

"I think the coffee might still be warm, do you want a cup?"

"Yeah, I think I do. We have some things to talk about."

Harm followed her into the kitchen and as Mac turned to him, without a thought, they stepped into each others arms, it was easy and natural. As though they'd both been on a long hard journey, and they had finally come home. Mac felt so safe there and Harm allowed himself to relax, perhaps for the first time since this awful nightmare with Mattie had begun.

"Mmm, I needed this." There was no need to explain just what, it was everything he felt here tonight, from holding little Nikki as she slept in his arms, to holding Mac close to him now. They needed him and he was there for them and welcomed. A peaceful feeling settled over him that he would never be able to explain.

"Me too.' Mac said it against the soft material of his shirt. She felt almost silly for wanting to burrow herself into his chest, as Nikki had. This was a man she could trust, the man she loved. She had been right, Harm had been the best man for her, babies did know.

She looked into his eyes, and even in the darkened room, Mac could see hope there. Hope was something she needed now, so could believe what Harm had told her… about what kids know.

FIN