Random Rusty

Chapter 2

"Who…threw…that…" she growled through gritted teeth. All of ThunderClan merely stared at her, looking stupid. Slowly, Bluestar picked up the mouse. Anger blazed in her blue eyes. She raised the paw that had the mouse in it and…

"FOOD FIGHT!"

The camp was in chaos. Fresh-kill was splattering everywhere. Then Tigerclaw yowled, "SILENCE!" All the cats stopped. Frostfur absently threw a mouse at him. When he was about to speak, the mouse flew right into his open mouth and down his throat.

Silence.

"Perform Heimlich Maneuver!" yowled Lionheart. He went over and gave Tigerclaw a hug.

"That's not the Heimlich Maneuver…" mewed Bluestar. "THIS IS IT!" She smacked Tigerclaw on the back of the head. He fainted. Bluestar stared at him. "Oh, dear."

All day, they stressed how to save Tigerclaw.

"Checklist," mewed Firepaw.

Graypaw rolled out a list.

"Dropped boulder," meowed Firepaw.

"Check."

"Squished with flyswatter."

"Check."

"Threw him off the gorge."

"Check."

"Shot him."

"Check."

"Shot him twice."

"Check."

"Flushed him down the toilet."

"Check."

"Used a plunger to get him out of the toilet."

"Check."

"Played cards with Crookedstar."

"Was that even on the list?"

Firepaw rolled his eyes. "But we did play Go Fish, don't forget."

"Yeah. Crookedstar's a terrible loser."

Firepaw looked deep in thought. Then he leaped into the air.

"That's it!"

"What?" asked Graypaw.

"I know how to get the mouse out! Graypaw, get your steak knife."

The Clan crowded around Tigerclaw and Firepaw. Firepaw took the steak knife and inserted the tip into Tigerclaw's scruff.

"Now, you just gently avoid the doohickey, make your way around the thingimajigger, and…oops, I don't think I was supposed to cut that…Oh, whatever…" Firepaw shoved his paw down Tigerclaw's gullet and retrieved the mouse. He smiled triumphantly. The wound he created in Tigerclaw's neck magically healed up. He leaped to his paws. Every cat grabbed a mouse at the same time.

"Nobody move," he panted. "I…shall…" He ran into the forest and came back with a bazooka.

"Ooh," mewed the Clan.

"Is that thing legal?" asked Ravenpaw.

"No. But it's shiny."