But Not Tonight

A/N: Well, because of all of your wonderful replies, I decided to give you one more chapter before I hit the complete button. But fear not, there is most definitely going to be a sequel. Trust me, we've just begun. And I promise, it will have a happy ending, just not quite yet.

'But when you're standing at a crossroads, there's a choice you have to make.'-Carrie Underwood, Starts with Goodbye

"…We don't talk anymore, at least not like we used to. We're just not as close anymore…"

"…Why didn't we ever try? What were we so afraid of? Failing?...Or making it work?..."

"…Tell me something Horatio, what is so damn special about her anyways? What is it about her that has you so infatuated with her?..."

"…Damn it, Horatio. She needs more than I can give her. Right now she needs you…"

Horatio squeezed his eyes shut as he rubbed his temple. His mind had been engaged in an intense internal battle and so far, he was getting his ass kicked. Alexx had been right in the fact that he and Calleigh needed to talk, desperately. But she was in such a vulnerable state right now that he couldn't bring himself to even go near her in fear of upsetting her more.

He wanted to help her. It killed him to sit back idle and watch her drown in her own guilt and grief. Lord knows that when Ray died she was the one who kept his head above the water; it was only fair for him to return the favor. But things were so much more complicated now. His relationship with Marisol was on the rocks and he knew that in trying to mend things between him and Calleigh, he may lose Marisol. But if he gave Mari all his attention, Calleigh would be gone from his life for good. Horatio began to pound his head against his desk. Everything was so complicated now.

"I've made a new discovery." He declared sensing Alexx's presence at the door.

"I'm listening." Alexx said, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the doorjamb.

"Pounding your head against a hard object does not help to relieve headaches." He sat back up straight and closed his eyes as he rubbed the red spot that had started to form on his forehead.

"No, I wouldn't think that would feel very good." She left her post at the door and entered the office. "Here, try these." Horatio opened his eyes and found two pills sitting on his desk. He took them without any questions and then leaned back in his chair.

"Alexx, when did my life become so complicated that even I can't figure out what's right and what's wrong?" Alexx gave a little laugh.

"You're human, Horatio. Life is supposed to be complicated." Horatio opened one eye and stared at the woman sitting across from him. She stared back. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." He opened both eyes now and glared at her.

"I hate it when you use Shakespeare against me." Alexx rolled her eyes.

"What I'm trying to say is that not everything is going to be black and white by the books. Especially not when there are hearts involved." She stopped and thought for a moment before going on. "Go talk to her, Horatio." He was quiet a moment.

"What do I say?" He asked timidly. She shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you tried." Horatio sighed in defeat as he put his jacket back on.

"I hope you're right about this, Alexx. " As he exited the room and hurried down the stairs, Alexx muttered under her breath.

"I hope so too."

Calleigh was lying with her back towards the door when Horatio entered the room. She turned her head in his direction when she heard the familiar sound of him clearing his throat. He shifted uneasily on his feet. For the first time in the almost ten years that he'd known her, he was actually uncomfortable in her presence. She stared at the item in his hand with red rimmed eyes.

"I brought you flowers. I thought you might like something cheery to look at." He held up the boutique as he walked closer to her.

"Yellow tulips, you remembered."

"I never forgot." She gave a very small, very sad smile as he placed the flowers in a cup near her bed. She reached out and fingered a few of the petals.

"I was going to have tulips at my wedding." She commented as her voice clogged with tears.

"I'm sorry. I can take them away if-" Horatio reached out to remove them.

"No, leave them. Please." She put her hand on his arm. He pulled his arm back to his side and sat down in the chair next to her bed. She turned herself so that she could face him better. It hurt him to watch her struggle so much to do something so simple. Silence passed between them until Calleigh finally spoke. "Why did you come, Horatio?"

He was taken aback. At first he thought she was angry with him for coming but after looking into her eyes, he found that it was more a question of confirmation than curiosity.

"We need to talk, Cal." Calleigh turned her head away. She knew it was coming but she didn't think he'd be so direct about it. 'Since when has Horatio ever beaten around the bush about anything?' She thought herself.

"I can't talk about him, Horatio. It hurts to talk about him." She admitted tearfully.

"Then let's not talk about him. Let's talk about us." She turned to look at him again.

"What's there to talk about? We don't exist. It's just me, and you and Marisol. There is no us. There never will be." Horatio looked her in the eye.

"I love Marisol," He started. Calleigh rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. "Wait a minute, just hear me out. I love Marisol, but I also realize now that I love you too. It's a fact I can't deny. I made a promise to Marisol and I want to keep that promise, but I also want to keep you as a friend. I couldn't imagine my life without you." Calleigh looked back at him with tears in her eyes.

"How can you say that to me? Don't you know how much that hurts? I love you, Horatio Caine. And don't want to just be your friend." Calleigh wiped at the tears on her cheek and sniffled. "So it's up to you. Who's it going to be, me or her?"

Fin