Title: Endless
Chapter: One
Fandom: Loveless
Rating: T
Main pairing: Ritsuka x Soubi
Genre: Romance/Horror/Tragedy
Warnings: Boy x Boy & Sexual References. Heh.
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless. T-T Unfortunately.
Summary.
It's been six years since everything began. Ritsuka and Soubi have been living together for nearly 12 months, but not in peace. A hallow place has been growing in Soubi's heart, a doubt that fills him until he begins to grown distant from Ritsuka. As he tries desperately to cling on to hope and to his love, Ritsuka's faded memories return to him, threatening to tear away what little of his sanity still keeps in him reality. A dawning realization comes onto Soubi when another agent from the Seven Moons reveals the truth behind Ritsuka's strange condition. But it seems that Soubi has found out the truth too late. Overwhelmed in his own paranoia, Ritsuka has begun to reach out with his own hidden power. Soubi had sworn to protect Ritsuka, but how can he protect Loveless from himself?
It was the fourth night he'd had that dream. Soubi awoke to a silence. His sapphire eyes opened to the dusky, grey profile of the bedroom. The walls and air were still dim with the shadow of night, but a glow resonated from the window.
The drumming of rain struck the silence abruptly, slicing it like a blade through the air, causing the man's eyes to widen. It sounded like nails trouncing against the windowpane. The moon gleamed in the surface of the water soaking the pavement outside, casting a ghostly-white aura upon the two men who lay in the bed. A sheet cloaked their naked lower halves, and the ghostly moonlight illuminated the pale skin of their shapely arms and chests and faces.
As the faint sensation of the dream returned to Soubi's mouth like a bitter, metallic taste, he tightened his fingers, unconsciously caging a grip around the young man's hand who slept soundly beside him. The action suddenly brought Soubi to awareness that he wasn't alone. Soubi turned his head on the pillow, looking over at his sleeping lover.
The individual strands of Ritsuka's hair were strung across the round, smooth surface of his cheek, contrasting against his pale skin in the night. Soubi had noticed that Ritsuka almost always slept with his cheek against the pillow. It was one of the tiny, little things Soubi had discovered about him that he'd grown to love so much about Ritsuka. Soubi turned over onto his side so that he could admire the other's beauty with a better view of him, and try to get his mind off of the acrid taste on his tongue.
Ritsuka had changed so much over the past six years. But he'd changed the most drastically after that beautiful night one year prior to that very evening when Soubi had taken Ritsuka and made them both one for the first time. Soubi had been correct when he'd stated in his mind that Ritsuka would never look the same without his ears; Those large, furry folds of flesh mounted atop the crown of his head, twitching and lowering with the shudder of each emotion within the boy. Certainly, Ritsuka was just as attractive as before without them, if not more. He definitely was not a child anymore, Soubi knew that much. But there was a new element to Ritsuka's splendor that Soubi had uncovered over the past year they'd lived together in the apartment. And that was all for Soubi, and no one else to ever see or know.
The older man stroked the teen's hand with his thumb, and looked at his closed lids with aching eyes, as if he was trying to speak to him through his thoughts, but achieving nothing. Soubi let his gaze wander down the other's form. The thin, white sheet's hem stopped below his narrow chest. Soubi tried to take in how Ritsuka's waist curved into the arch of his hip as the fabric flowed over his body like water. But he couldn't. This thought, this bitterness, it was distracting him from what he wanted.
Soubi was sick of it. He knew that Ritsuka had sensed something had been bothering Soubi for the past few days…four, to be exact. Ritsuka could always tell. That thought made Soubi's lips turn up into a smile, but only for a moment. What was Soubi to do? The last thing he wanted to do was to make Ritsuka worry.
Soubi's thumb ran over the band of silver that gleamed around Ritsuka's middle finger; a silhouette of a butterfly attached to the band. It was a mirror image of Soubi's own ring. He'd given one to Ritsuka for his seventeenth birthday a year ago. The man smiled again, but it was strained, almost aggrieved. What would he tell him in the morning?
"I couldn't sleep."
-Voices cry out our names through warm darkness. You and I are the alone, the broken, the damned.-
"Couldn't sleep?" Ritsuka's tone half-questioned, and half-stated the words Soubi told him that morning. The two of them were in the living room, Ritsuka just freshly out of the shower and Soubi freshly out of bed. The younger man shook his head. This would be the thousandth time in the last four days he'd asked Soubi; "Is something wrong?" He crossed his arms over his abdomen and the thin shirt he wore defined the curves of his developed shape fully with each wrinkle and fold of the fabric. He stood against the wall, watching Soubi spread out on the couch on the other side of the room.
Soubi's expression was cloudy as he stared at the ceiling, which was still a gray color in the growing daylight and the glow of the muggy weather outside. Soubi wondered if it would rain again today. "No," he denied. This was the thousandth time that Ritsuka had heard that answer.
Sighing, the younger man lifted the small towel that hung around his neck and dried off the ends of his rich, ebony hair. Ritsuka took slow steps over to Soubi as he said, "I don't believe you."
This declaration didn't surprise Soubi at all. He grinned as Ritsuka moved over to him, while attempting to keep his gaze off of the slender, shapely legs his lover revealed from beneath the brief hem of the shorts that he wore. Soubi loved how Ritsuka didn't seem to care what he was wearing around the apartment when it was just the two of them there.
Soubi's grin broadened as Ritsuka placed both of his hands on either side of Soubi's thighs. His palms slowly sank into the cushioning of the couch. Soubi gave him an I-knew-you-didn't-believe-me look, and Ritsuka arched a thin eyebrow in his replying expression. Oh really? it seems to say. They knew each other too well. Ritsuka leaned down to Soubi so their lips were only a hair's-breadth apart.
In that moment, sensations came back to Ritsuka when he felt the other's mouth so close to his own. They were memories. Memories of last night, and the scattered nights before when the both of them had been entwined. Their bare skins melting together beneath the sheets. Their love held bare to the cold rain that had been pounding outside. Their lips encasing each other's mouths and tongues until slumber and weakness overcame them both and tugged the kiss apart as their bodies grew too limp to hold onto each other a moment longer.
Ritsuka's heart fluttered, his breathing quivered, but he kept his expression collected and regained his thoughts. "I'm not going to let you go back to when you kept things from me. Even though it might not matter, Soubi…" Ritsuka raised his stare from the man's mouth to his crystal-blue eyes. Locking his gaze onto the other's, Ritsuka let his own dark, violet irises pierced into Soubi. That gaze Soubi knew all to well. A silent command. But the words spoken were a gentle request. "I'd like you to tell me."
Ritsuka watched Soubi's stare collapse from his. He didn't want to tell him. Ritsuka knew it.
"Ritsuka---" Words ached in Soubi's throat, but he couldn't bring himself to speak them. Ritsuka maybe could help him, but he didn't want to worry him. He'd tell him that evening if he had the dream again. He swore to himself. "I'll tell you tonight."
Ritsuka blinked. Well, it was better than nothing. He couldn't help but smile a bit. Small, simple statements like that just made Soubi look so sweet. He rubbed his nose against Soubi's. "Promise."
"I promise."
Ritsuka leaned forward and melded his lips against Soubi's for a long kiss. They both reached up with their right hands at the same time, found the other's hand, and entwined their fingers. Their rings clanked together with the soft sound of tapping metal.
-Even though you and I have become one flesh, one mind, one soul, we're still not close enough. A vast hallow eats away a void between us, taking you away from me and me away from you. Not close enough.-
"You have to teach today, right?" Ritsuka asked after the kiss had ended.
Soubi nodded. "It's Wednesday, isn't it? That means I have a class in the morning, and one later tonight. But I can come see you during study hall and lunch."
Ritsuka grinned as he brushed his fingers against Soubi's cheek, obviously looking forward to that time.
He'd moved in with Soubi soon before he graduated from high school. Since he was practically living there anyway, spending some nights there in an attempt to escape the wrath and abuse of his crazed mother. But Soubi always thought that Ritsuka was very brave on the nights when Soubi slept in his apartment alone, and was left to think about what Ritsuka must be going through at his own house. Ritsuka didn't even speak of his mother's abuse, let alone complain about it to anyone. Soubi actually had to convince Ritsuka to move in with him after high school had ended. Soubi had begun teaching an art course there at the college, and Ritsuka had just applied there as well. If they lived together, then it could only make life a bit easier on them both.
Everything had become so natural after that. Their hesitant relationship had strengthened until they both assumed that they were formally dating one another. No longer Master and Servant. Ritsuka's doubtful behavior towards Soubi's feelings for him had stopped, and both men realized that what had begun as a simple kiss in the park and a bond between master and servant had blossomed into a deeper affection for the other that they had for no other person. It was no longer just a Spell.
"Should I get dinner, then?" asked Ritsuka. Whenever Soubi worked late, Ritsuka would always attempt cooking something himself, or go downtown to find something to order out. He'd probably get Western food tonight. That little takeout shop on the corner of the alley held memories for them both.
"Just enough for one." Soubi said, regretfully. He almost took his eyes away from Ritsuka's as he said it.
The younger man blinked again. Soubi had noticed that Ritsuka's lips parted slightly when he was confused about something. "What do you mean?" Ritsuka asked. If Ritsuka had still had his ears, they'd for sure be drooping, parted down the middle.
Soubi stroked his lover's hand with his thumb, their fingers still entwined. He stared down at the ring before looking up into Ritsuka's lavender eyes. "I might have to stay after my late class. There's a deadline coming up and some of my students have asked to stay after so they could meet it. I couldn't find anyone else to fill in for me."
Ritsuka made an unsuccessful attempt to hide his disappointment. He straightened his back and turned to the side, glancing over at the other end of the room, and not knowing why. "Alright." He turned his head and caught Soubi smiling at him, but a sorry look was still in the older man's eyes. Ritsuka pretended he didn't care and looked away again. "So, I'll…" Ritsuka didn't finish, because he didn't really have anything left to say.
But Soubi interrupted him anyway. "Ritsuka. Do you want to stay there with me? You can do homework and study while I work. It'll be pretty quiet in there. Less lonely. For both of us."
Ritsuka raised an eyebrow at him. It sounded more like a plea than a request by the tone he used. "No. I have to get home early…if I need to get dinner, and I don't want to be in your way." he bluffed smoothly. He didn't want Soubi to sit at his desk, staring out the window and wondering how he was doing by himself, but Ritsuka didn't want to stay with him there either. As pleasant as it sounded, for some reason he knew that it would just create an issue. No one was supposed to know that Agatsuma Soubi, the art teacher, and Aoyagi Ritsuka, the prodigy literature student, were dating.
"You're sure?" Soubi made one last endeavor to convince Ritsuka.
"Mm-hm," Ritsuka nodded, smiling a bit. "Yeah."
Soubi exhaled. "Okay." He pushed himself off the couch and stood critically close to Ritsuka for an instant. A moment of intense voltage passed between them, through their thoughts and breath and luminous, poignant gazes as they stood eye-to-eye but didn't touch. The moment passed swiftly, as had so many others, and Soubi walked across the room in smooth strides, grabbing a towel from the laundry basket set in the hall and went into the bathroom. "I'll get a quick shower then. Make sure you don't forget to pack those notes you put on the table, okay?" Ritsuka stared after him, and even gazed at the bathroom door for a moment after Soubi had closed it.
-Constantly, he's bellowing soundless screams of anguish. I reach out to him, clutch onto him, wrap my arms around him, but fail to save him from...-
When the clock read about ten to eight that morning, Ritsuka and Soubi stood side by side near the doorway. Ritsuka placed his slender fingers upon the doorknob, ready to open it, while he looked down at Soubi who was leaning over to lace up his boots. When Soubi straightened up to his full height to wrap his lengthy, striped scarf around his neck, Ritsuka detected a look in his eyes he wasn't at all used to seeing.
Soubi's gaze was downcast, and his eyes were vacant. Their usual clear color was seemingly dulled, as if his mind was elsewhere while his body was still in the dim room.
Ritsuka started when Soubi set his hand gently on his arm. Ritsuka glanced at the other man's hand before meeting his gaze again. "Soubi?" His heart grew heavy and his pulse almost hurt. Why were Soubi's eyes like that?
"Ritsuka. Don't go out with anyone tonight, okay? I want you to come straight home. Understand?"
Ritsuka's head jerked upwards. He was in shock at Soubi's tone of voice. He sounded so scared for some reason. Ritsuka could see in his expression that he was…terrified, as if trying not to worry about something but not being able to stop himself. Ritsuka's lips parted for a moment before he spoke, showing his obvious confusion. Soubi usually never ordered Ritsuka like that, because of the respect the man held for their previous master-to-servant relationship. Soubi could tell Ritsuka was a bit startled. The younger man's expression hardened when he decided he was going to demand an explanation. "But why---!"
Soubi leaned forward readily, as if he'd been poised and waiting to stop the question from escaping Ritsuka's mouth. Soubi kissed Ritsuka hard, silencing the angered words. He pulled his lips away, resting them beside Ritsuka's, against the corner of his mouth. "Just don't."
Now Ritsuka's sharp mouth was powerless. Numbed.
-With every kiss and every embrace, he falls into me all over again. So delicate and frail, and fluttering, begging to have its beauty taken captive. I've captured him, tamed him. This wild, young beauty I cradle in my arms to be forever mine. My raven-haired lover.-
You could barely tell that it was morning. The ghost of last night's storm hung in the sky, shrouding the bright morning colors with its gloomy veil. The occasional breeze encased around Soubi's body, pressing into it, as if the cold was filtering into his flesh and attaching itself to the thick fleece of his jacket. His cheeks were rosy with the last amount of warmth he had left, and he could barely feel his nose and chin. The numbness was a familiar feeling, but the kind that would remain strange every time you felt it.
But Ritsuka was warm. Soubi had decided to stretch the length of his thickly-clothed body along the bench of the park's picnic table. With Ritsuka seated on the other end of the bench, he was able to rest his head in his lover's lap. The action had just been a whim, something Soubi simply felt like doing. He could feel Ritsuka's body heat from beneath the thickly knitted fabric of the teen's jeans as he rested a hand on Ritsuka's thigh, running his slender fingertips down the rounded joint of the other's knee occasionally.
Ritsuka positioned his hands on Soubi's head, one of them resting directly on the crown of his skull. Ritsuka's palm formed to the shape to press lightly there. The other he moved in slow, stroking motions, running his gentle fingers through the smooth, flowing locks of golden hair. Soubi couldn't keep from closing his eyes, the gentle tug at his hair creating a soothing pattern of warmth flowing through his body.
They often came to that small park in the morning before they had to head over to campus. It was a place full of peace. A place full of reminiscences. But they'd been drawn there that morning by an invisible force resonating from around the area. Both of them felt this seemingly evil aura, but neither of them mentioned it to the other. There was no need to. Both Soubi and Ritsuka felt the presence swelling up within them, and both of them knew what needed to be done.
The younger man never ceased the smooth, delicate pattern of his hand weaving through his lover's hair. Not until Soubi opened his eyes again, a small sound like a hum emitting from his throat. "Mm?" As soon as that happened, both of them froze---tensed, their bodies stilling completely but for breath, in the same moment.
Soubi's eyes glimpsed intently into the distance. Through the clouded shades of the thickening trees on the other side of the carpet of grass before them, he stared. "They're here." His deep, smooth voice was nearly silent beneath the rushing of wind that swept past them enormously from the thickening fog in the sky overhead. But Ritsuka heard him.
"Yes."
To be continued.
Please, review. Ask questions, make connections, my fellow Loveless fans! I'm new so I'd love some feedback if you'd give it to me. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope my first chapter wasn't too boring.
-Aishiteruno.