Asking For Syaoran
Chapter 6 – I Need
By silverymare
Disclaimer: CCS is one of CLAMP's best works. I own nothing except plot and new characters.
Thanks go to Kaori-chan for being my beta and my editor!
Hiiragizawa was different. Eerie, sarcastic, four eyed, calm and unfortunately a great pianist.
You'd think after all our childhood I'd be over how strange he is, but I never though he would hurt her.
Even sitting beside the Matriarch of the Clan, Meiling couldn't help but glare. Looking at Eriol's smile from across the coffee table, his shrewd eyes hidden behind thin wire-rimmed glass, Meiling wanted to get up and throttle him. Careful to emulate respect, Eriol graciously accepted a cup when the Li Matriarch offered him some tea. Hidden in her lap, Meiling's hands curled into fists. How can you just sit there?
You betrayed us.
You betrayed Syaoran.
Yelan nodded to the attendant who was hovering by the doorframe. She dismissed the servant, giving him an imperceptible nod. She turned back to the tense situation in her living room, taking the teapot back into her hands. Only Eriol noted the strain on his aunt's face, the stiffness in her neck. He did nothing except take a sip of the jasmine tea. Meiling's glare hardened when she met Eriol's eyes for a second, even deeper when he gave her the smile. Placing his cup down, Eriol carefully chose a mooncake slice from Yelan's silver tray before taking a careful bite. He was as nonchalant as ever.
Bastard. You deserve worse than expulsion from the Clan. I'd beat you up myself. Screw Regulation Nine, Clause two. I'm sure they can sway the rule.
Meiling gritted her teeth.
Clause Two was about violence within the Clan boundaries. No fighting was allowed except within training grounds or special exhibitions, of which needed Elder approval. This came with no surprise; thirteen brawls in past November had wrecked the Clan grounds, all large incidents including both adults and children. The new regulations had just come in last December, just before Christmas. Now fighting would result in either a fine, a suspension from usual Clan events, or at worst, depending on wounds, exile. But this was a worthy cause. This was betrayal against a clan member. In terms of honour, Meiling had every right.
… Screw the rules.
No one would care if I broke his nose and bloodied him up a bit. It'll just have to pay from my wallet a bit. I know I can take him on. He hasn't had years of training. I bet even those stiff Elders would cheer me on. And he thinks he can get away with just an explanation.
She studied him, her body subconsciously shifting into a position where she could jump up off the couch and punch his face. If she was quick enough, she'd get at least one or two good punches on him before Yelan managed to drag her off his limp carcass. She was glad she was wearing a nice shirt and dress pants. A dress would have just gotten in the way. Meiling bared her teeth at him, pretending it was a smile. She ignored Yelan's piercing look, shifting the sharpness of her gaze towards her tea. She'd been breaking rules even before she met Syaoran and Eriol. This would be no different.
Meiling took a moment to overlook her anger and study her opponent. The last time she'd seen Eriol was two months ago. Outwardly he hadn't changed. He didn't even have a tan from all the time she knew he spent in Tokyo and Okinawa in summer. It was obvious that he'd lost his mind though. Sleeping with Xiao Qing was something she never expected Eriol to do.
But then again, he's never been predictable, said the voice within. A polite cough snapped out of her inner thoughts.
Yelan turned to the young woman, silently offering tea. Meiling shook her head at her favourite aunt. Tea wouldn't be able to sooth her feelings. The Li matriarch placed the teapot down with a heavy sigh, placing her hands in her embroidered lap.
"Meiling, please calm down."
The older woman paused, seeing her niece's tense shoulders. This wasn't going to be easy.
I wish there was an easier way, but we need you right now.
"There are things that need to be said and I don't want you to start a fight."
But there will be a time for fists.
Meiling shifted uneasily in her seat as the peaceable mood in the room changed. Taking a measured sip from her teacup, Yelan carefully looked at Eriol. It is time. Come. Explain your actions.
He didn't let his smile drop, it only deepened at seeing Meiling's uncomfortableness. His cousin in name rarely tolerated his presence and was generally too nervous. Taking his time, he finished his slice of moon cake. There was a glint in his dark eyes, amused at how transparent Meiling was in her anger. It seemed she never learnt how to solve problems without using her fists. Slowly, his long arm stretched out to place the teacup back onto the glass table. At the clink of the china on the table, Meiling seemed to flinch, though if Eriol hadn't been looking, he wouldn't have caught the movement. Settling back into his leather chair, Eriol studied Meiling. She wasafraid of him. In the quiet of the afternoon, they heard the distant tolling of Fire Temple bells signalling noon. No one moved.
"I-"
She broke the silence with her half-uttered word. There was something going on and Meiling wanted to open her mouth to splutter out a question, why do I have to listen to this, just to break the silence. She couldn't stand this tension. She preferred to have everything lain out in the open.
Yelan cut into her sentence, calm and unruffled. "Eriol isn't the only one to blame for Xiao Qing."
Yelan paused, seeing Meiling rein in her infamous temper. Her niece was susceptible to her irritability; it earned her an infamous name for starting fights, even among the fighting prowess of the Lis. Unfortunately for Meiling, this was dangerous now that the new edict of banned fighting was established. She waited until Meiling settled back into her seat, red eyes watching her aunt. "He came to me before the events with Xiao Qing occurred and we decided what was to be done. His actions were agreed upon with careful planning. It was not a rash decision. I must also be blamed for her pain."
Those words splashed over Meiling like cold water.
She pushed herself away from her aunt, getting out of her seat. She almost stumbled on her feet, keeping a distance between the two of them and herself. Disbelief reflected in her red eyes. She stared at her aunt; at the beautifully coifed hair, the familiar lines of her face, the hands placed exactly in her lap. Meiling had never seen her aunt cause pain. There was a strong will behind her conduct of the Clan but also compassion in the Matriarch. Such qualities had kept her in nominal power up until now. Even with her husband's death and the blow it laid on her claim to leading the Clan. This was the only lady who accepted Meiling into her family when she was being bullied, and similarly accepted Xiao Qing into Syaoran's life. Meiling herself often turned to Yelan for advice. This woman was her second mother.
"You, you- you what?" She pointed a finger at Yelan.
"I don't understand." Meiling's hand was on her head, confusion swirling. She tried to get her thoughts around Yelan's words. She turned accusing eyes to Eriol.
"I mean, how could you know Xiao Qing was going to come to you?"
Her mouth was twisted. Bile filled her throat. "And you decided together Eriol was going to sleep with her?"
To herself, she murmured, "I'm dreaming." This is all a strange dream that I'm going to wake up from.
Yelan didn't reply, pursing her lips. Her gaze rested on Eriol, who had been watching Meiling ever since she'd left her seat. The man paid no attention to his aunt, instinctively knowing she was looking at him. His eyes hardened, a glitter of anticipation was behind those glasses. Eriol took a moment before speaking. It was time to tell part of the story. But he was doing this strictly for Yelan. He didn't need to explain his actions. Meiling's cooperation with their plans was needed, if not vital.
He gave a wry smile to Yelan. It was strange the way things turned out. He looked at the irate Meiling, making sure he kept her spirited gaze. It wouldn't be easy to convince her. She was a stubborn girl. The only reason he knew she existed was because she'd been a obstinate little kid all her life and refused to listen to her mother about bowing to Syaoran all those years ago. What a ruckus she had caused! Back then the trouble she caused had been relished by Eriol. Even now she was a bit of a wildcard. But this was no time to be reminiscing.
"It was in a dream."
The room was deathly silent for a second.
"You, you – You dreamt it." Meiling's words were softly spoken. "All this was caused because of a dream?"
"There is no such thing as coincidence. There is only the inevitable." His voice was deeper – deeper than Meiling had ever heard. This sudden deadly serious voice startled her. In the back of her mind, something quietened, expecting to hear more. Almost accepting his words as a skewed sort of wisdom. The rational part of her ignored the curiosity.
Meiling cut off his sentence, blurting out, "Of course this is hard to believe! What you're telling me is something crazy! Something out of some stupid psychic's mouth! You can't expect me to believe that!"
She started pacing, working herself up into a fit, her boots scuffing the red rug. Her voice was rising, edging towards the hysterical. "You have to be joking. You dreamt something and then hurt Xiao Qing because of it. You dreamt it! And even you Auntie! You're involved in this? Is this something like a joke to you?" Meiling suddenly stopped her pacing, faltering beside the window sill. Her mind was buzzing with everything and nothing. She spun around to them, glaring. "How can you even expect me to believe this bullshit?!"
Without waiting to hear what they wanted to say, she turned away, her back to them. It was a blunt refusal to listen. Staring through the window, Meiling could see her aunt's patio and an empty birdcage. She kept her eyes on the cage. If she stared long enough, maybe a camera crew would come out and it would all just be a big practical joke. They're just playing a trick on me. That's got to be it.
From her seat, Yelan spoke. "I know this is hard to believe, Meiling, but I trust Eriol." There was hardness in her tone, an unyielding power that made Meiling pause.
Meiling opened her mouth and then closed it. She did this twice, a frown on her lips. Seeing Meiling trying to handle the large truth, both Yelan and Eriol stayed quiet in their chairs, letting her wrap her mind around Eriol's words. The room was quiet for ten minutes, before a tiny chink was heard from Yelan's teacup. Meiling slowly turned back around. She crossed her arms, still unwilling to come and sit back down. At this moment, she couldn't bear being near them.
A maid pushed her head into the room, but at seeing the tense situation she hastily made a retreat.
Meiling fixed a hard glare at her aunt and distant cousin after staring at the intruder. She was frowning hard, and her arms were typically crossed across her chest. They were lucky, she hadn't bitten her lip yet. Her temper was still in check.
"So let's say I believe you." Because if this is a dream, then I'm going to wake up and laugh. "Crazy as it all sounds, how does this work?"
Eriol smirked, seeing how she still didn't believe anything he'd said.She is such a handful. He removed his glasses, and carefully wiped them on his shirt corner before pushing them back onto his nose. He looked once at Yelan, who closed her eyes and nodded. So part of the story eh? So be it. As long as we achieve results. His eyes shifted to the grandfather clock in the living room. Dark blue eyes returned to Meiling. He started speaking, voice hushed; almost wary of letting others hear his words.
"Dreams are your self-conscious. I dream true dreams when I fall asleep. Some believers will call it 'premonition', but it's not limited to future events. The past, present and future. I've been privy to all. Your first steps, my father falling in love with my mother, Fanren with a child in her arms. But for all the entertainment, I can't control it." A shadow came into the blueness of his eyes. "I've always been gifted with this ability"
Meiling's eyes were narrowed. It makes sense. I never did find out why Eriol was sent overseas for education. I mean all of us, Syaoran, the sisters and all the children are schooled on Clan grounds. The only other person I've heard was schooled in a foreign country was Xiao Rae. That's only because of her father's insistence. Maybe all this time he's just been too different to be Clan. If what he says is true, then it makes sense why he's never here.
"So tell me, if all of this is true, what did you dream last night?" Meiling couldn't help but feel a bit curious. This doesn't mean anything, Eriol. I'm still going to hit you. I'm still angry at what you did to Xiao Qing. She watched him carefully.
Eriol wasn't fooled. She still didn't believe him. Casually, his smirk widened, replaying the scene in his mind. The vividness of the dream was still with him.
"Xiao Lang was suffering from a hangover. This was worse than his farewell party." At this, a self-satisfied glint found their way into those uncanny eyes. "There was a delivery girl at his front door. Pansies lay at her feet. They were at his new apartment."
His amusement slowly disappeared. This particular dream made no sense to him. Eriol closed his eyes, reliving the events once again. Not all his dreams made sense. Used to arranging and rearranging them to create a map, certain images would often baffle him for years. But the vividness of this dream, it meant something.
Quietly, Yelan poured him another cup of tea. He accepted it, taking a sip. But the dream still pestered at his thoughts. A lip curled slightly, only Yelan seemed to notice his worry. Up until now, Syaoran was a controlled factor in their plan. He would have to send one of the Li quartet to investigate. Or maybe Meiling, if all turned out right.
"Xiao Lang with another girl is not something I would have predicted. I would say I can't believe it, because my little cousin is incapable of handling women." A quirk in the corner of his mouth that he kept to himself. "But I've been proved wrong by my dreams before."
Yelan watched his face shift from curiosity to worry. This was dream was news to her but she secretly approved. The confinement of Syaoran to just the Clan grounds always seemed wrong to her. It was a choice she made nonetheless because she needed him to understand his father's legacy. There would be time for him to travel after he assumed the Leadership. This temporary residence in another city was a suggestion of Eriol's. Another dream, though both hadn't understood. Maybe this girl had something to do with it.
Eriol continued. "I don't know who she is. Maybe one of our distant cousins." He paused, and considered this idea. It was unlikely as she didn't look familiar. If anything, she looked like she had Japanese blood. Seeing the interest his words were creating, he continued, an amused glint in the corner of his eye. "I couldn't tell you how far away it is in the future. Or if it was in the past. But it's still recent. It was his new apartment. I recognised the unhealthy obsession with green."
With every word that Eriol said, Meiling felt herself grow angrier and angrier. He was spouting lunacy! Unable to hold it in, she walked towards him. Her lip was curling upwards. "What? Do you expect me to believe that? Xiao Lang is honourable. He would never let himself get that drunk! The only time he ever got drunk was because of you at that party. And how could he be with another girl? I know he's still with Xiao Qing." She stopped. "What am I saying?" I don't believe what he's saying is true. I don't know why I'm getting angry. This is all just something he made up. I know something would never happen between the two of them. Xiao Qing needs him too much. It must all be some mistake.
"Xiao Qing and Xiao Lang are no longer together." It was Yelan who spoke. The Matriarch stood up, a pitying look in her eyes. Whether it was directed at Meiling's ignorance or towards the events that were still happening, Meiling couldn't tell. The older woman moved towards Meiling, though the young woman kept her distance. She was warily scrutinizing Yelan. "I know this as a fact. Xiao Qing went to him after staying with Eriol. She decided the guilt was too much and told him she couldn't function anymore. They no longer live together. She told me before she left to see Xiao Lang. She was crying with guilt. I was the one who picked her up at the airport."
Meiling shut up, and her throat bobbed as she swallowed heavily. Now Xiao Qing's incoherent manner made sense. Her cousin came crying to her house yesterday, but Meiling couldn't get much out of her. The only words seemed to be that she slept with Eriol and regretted it. Thus this meeting and Meiling's planned revenge. Xiao Qing could always rely on Meiling for support. Cousins stuck together. Family and Clan was everything.
"It wasn't to cause her pain." His eyes were solemn. It was needed, and I wish there had been another way. "I'm not as petty as you might think." I did her a service.
"But you did hurt her, somehow. Do you know she came to me, crying?" She threw accusing words at him, her only weapons left. She was stripped of what she knew; Meiling was still shocked at the news. Xiao Lang and Xiao Qing aren't together. But- I thought they would last forever. She was so happy. I was so happy for them. I thought they would last!
Eriol's eyes went flinty. His mouth curled into a frown, roused enough to be sharp without sympathy. "Xiao Qing has always been weak. Even when she was small she was under the Elders' beck and call. She's never learnt to think for herself. Ask her. She had the choice to come to me. She could have gone against the Elders. She could have chosen to stay true to Syaoran. But she didn't. I don't know all the details of her deal, only what she said and from my own dream. They were the ones who put her into that situation. They demanded that she come to my office and seduce me. Blame them if you want to do something. I am not the one to be angry at."
"I can't believe it. I- I won't believe it!" That would be ruining the very relationship they've cultivated.
"By saying you won't believe you've already made the decision that it's true. You're lying to yourself. Don't be weak, Meiling."
She flinched. Sitting back down next to Yelan, Meiling tried to keep her hands from shaking in her lap. His words were painfully true. She was already accepting his words, they made sense. But she didn't like the way she'd been manipulated into this understanding. Suddenly and without any warning, she darted forward towards Eriol. With one hand raised, Meiling tried to slap him but he caught her hand inches away from his cheek. She flushed, glaring down at him. All were tense.
"Did you see me slap you in your dreams?"
He smiled a sad smile at her.
"How did you know then?"
He was quiet, just looking at her, daring her to try it again. He carefully let go of her wrist. She took her hand back, a red flush still stained all down her neck. In shame, a curtain of black hair hid her face from view. Her other hand rubbed the wrist that tried to attack Eriol. It was sore from his tight grip. He's stronger than I thought. Not many can stop me. She wouldn't be trusting Eriol anytime soon. The reason as to why she was here haunted her.
"I trusted you. Xiao Lang trusted you."
"I needed to do what had to be done." His voice was cold, amused but flinty. He could see the shaking fear of unwilling change, fear of theunknown, in her eyes. Always the same fear. It never changes.
"But you still chose to sleep with her. You could have refused."
"I've seen my dreams come true. I saw you fall in love with Xiao Lang when we were three, before we even met. I saw my mother dying. I've seen back and forth in history, even though I don't understand all of it. My dreams don't always make sense, but I stand true to one thing: the Clan. And if Xiao Qing is one of the keys, then I'll do what I must." That's all you need to know for now.
Her ruby eyes glared at him. Yelan placed a hand on Meiling's shaking fist.
"This is just a ploy to get me to help you, isn't it?"
"If you want to think of it that way. But there are events in the making. You can be a part of it and have the choosing of your own actions, or you'll be forced to do something you'd rather not do."
She turned to Yelan, the woman who took her under her wing, and given her friends and family she could trust. Family and the Clan. All that she knew all her life. Syaoran. Xiao Qing. She breathed out, tension seeping out. Resigned to this strange twist in her life, Meiling tightly gripped her aunt's comforting fingers. If there isn't another way then I suppose I've got no choice. The fervour of her tamed spirit was reflected in her red eyes.
Eriol smirked.
"What do you want of me?"
The shopkeeper was greeting someone but he didn't bother to check.
Tucked away in the newspaper section of the shop, Syaoran was browsing through the stacked piles of grey paper. He didn't bother with the sports news or the gossip. He was holding a copy of the daily newspaper in his hands, while another was tucked under his arm. With a flick of his thumb, Syaoran turned a page of the Daily. A groan escaped from his lips. I can't read anything in this light. He glared upwards before striding towards the closest window. Syaoran didn't notice the weird look the shopkeeper gave him. His sharp eyes read the headlines, his frown deepening. His thoughts were miles away.
'Japan's economy is contracting more then the expected 1.2'. Not too good news. Eriol's probably keeping on top of that. He's already been in Tokyo for two months. Syaoran smirked. At least he isn't here. 'Expectations of a world recession are lowering world currencies'. Exactly what the President said. He's not often wrong. From what Mother sent last trimester, he's already spent more on himself than we agreed. Must remind Xiefa to send someone over. Hmm, the IT investment with Google is going well. 'The US dollar is gaining on the British pound'-
Syaoran felt a soft tap on the shoulder. Engrossed in his reading; he ignored it. When he felt the soft touch a second time, he shrugged his shoulder and shifted to a side. Let them pass by and get to what they wanted. He bumped into a pile of magazines, and took a step forward to get out of the tangle. His eyes didn't leave the paper, he was too engrossed.
'Al Gore is going to travel to Africa'-
When he was interrupted a third time, the finger almost digging into his shoulder, he stiffened. His body knew this familiar gesture. Only one person ever got his attention this way. His eyes froze on the paper, not daring to turn around and confirm what he was thinking. His betraying pulse began to race.
Xiao Qing. It can't be her. She's already gone back to Hong Kong.
Deep down inside, he badly wanted it to be her. There was no news from home and he missed seeing her on a day to day basis, though he was reluctant to admit it. From having her with him in their apartment, her late mornings and her strange coffee insistence, the way she'd tilt her head when she was confused. And no one else would dare tap him on the shoulder that way. It was one of the boldest things she did around him. Even though they rarely touched, it became such a familiar and comfortable thing with both of them. It had to be her.
Why is she back here? Has she come to explain herself? He gritted his teeth. His swept his emotions under, reining in the memories of other ghostly touches. She just left without a proper reason. She took everything and just ran. This is so screwed up. He slowly turned, a glare settling on his face. He had every right to be angry. This hasn't been sorted out yet.
A lithe figure dressed in service type clothing stood in front of him. It took him a second to register the auburn hair and the green apron, having superimposed a blue scarf and black hair. Syaoran's amber eyes widened, not believing his eyes. Behind him and smiling cheerfully was Sakura. When his mind corrected his vision, the tension seeped out of his shoulders.
…So it's not her.
Something fluttery lurking in his stomach died when he found Sakura behind him. Something akin to disappointment curled inside. His hand went up to cover both eyes, rubbed them for a second before he deeply sighed. He cradled the open newspaper in his other hand.
Of course it wasn't her. She's not going to come back and tap me on the shoulder. She cleared everything out, even the scarf. It was her choice. Inwardly, he kicked himself. I can't believe I've even thought of her. She LIED to me. I have better things to do that think about her. Syaoran self-consciously pulled at his coat with one hand. He was tempted to walk into a window. I'm going to forget her. She doesn't mean anything to me.
He removed his hand from his eyes. Gazing at Sakura from under his long bangs, Syaoran noticed the young girl was still in his presence. With a careless once-over at her figure, Syaoran noted she looked wind tossed, pink staining her cheeks. He couldn't help seeing her green clothing, in his favourite colour. Sakura was carrying a backpack slung on one arm. She doesn't look anything like Xiao Qing. I haven't seen her since we left that little underground place.
His eyes wandered back to Sakura again, before centring on the backpack.Sakura, was it? Isn't that the national flower of Japan? Japan.His analytic mind took over the controls. The Chinese haven't been on good standing with the Japanese for a long time. But Xiao Qing always wanted to go see the sakura blossom. He silently growled. She'd managed to creep into his thoughts again. I don't want to think about Qing anymore. He took a deep breath. Looking at Sakura, he dismissed those treacherous thoughts.
He was a bit curious as to why Sakura was in this part of town, when Nadeshiko'swas five streets away. He also wanted to ask her why she had an empty backpack and why she was here in this small newsagency. And why she had tapped on his shoulder. There were plenty of questions he could have asked but he opted to remain quiet. When he didn't say anything, Sakura broke the silence by speaking up.
"Ah." She paused, a bit unsure. Her eyes didn't quite meet his. "You have chocolate on your mouth."
Pointing at a smudge at the corner of his mouth, Sakura turned her head to smother a laugh. She'd gotten a peep at his face before turning away. The shocked look on his face was very cute. It only appeared for a second, but even for someone as serious as him, it was funny to see. As Syaoran subconsciously stuck out his tongue to lick the spot, messy chocolate brown hair falling into his eyes, his frown disappeared. His amber eyes flickered before closing as he savoured the dark hot chocolate stain. Sakura peeped back at him, hiding her smile. He would probably frown if he caught her laughing.
Ah, the disappointment disappeared for a second. With her green eyes sparking, Sakura watched him for a moment or two before taking advantage of his lapse in attention. She sidled up to him, not noticing the lack of space between them. The aisle was very small, crammed with magazine stacks and a card tree. Sakura carefully peered over his shoulder to look at his reading material. Craning her head over, Sakura's eyes lit up at what she saw. The Finance section. Her fingers crept onto the page he was holding onto, holding it firm.
He really wasn't joking when he said all he thought about was business. Her eyes scanned the headlines. Spotting something, Sakura scanned through the line eagerly. Oh, I need this piece for next week's assignment. Energy saving options. How to 'green' up your business.
Sakura didn't step away from him; she was too absorbed in reading the text. Accidentally, her elbow bumped into his arm. Opening his eyes, Syaoran was startled to find Sakura so close. Flustered, he stepped back, almost into a stand of greeting cards, effectively distancing both of them from each other. Sakura regretfully let her grip and eyes slide from the paper, disappointed she couldn't read anymore. She rocked a bit on her feet, watching an embarrassed Syaoran.
Now aware of his own state, Syaoran couldn't help feel awkward. It was a small newsagency. Besides the teller at the front, no one else had come in. It was just the two of them. The quiet was deafening. He tried to not look at her, busying himself with righting the card stand. Sakura had gotten bored waiting for him to speak. She was now crouching on the floor, her attention distracted by a garden magazine. She quickly flipped through a few pages, stopping to look at exotic looking plants. From where he was standing, Syaoran had no idea what they were. Shuffling forward to see, Syaoran was caught out when Sakura glanced up. Startled, he backed away. Before he could continue his peculiar shuffle back and forth, Sakura blinked at him before closing the magazine and placing it carefully back in place. She stood up and turned to him, hefting her backpack.
Syaoran blurted out the first thing that came to him. "Did you get back to your house okay?"
He wanted to groan out loud. I am an idiot. This was weird, meeting her again. He hadn't even thought of her the whole week, except for once or twice when he'd wondered if she got home to her house safely that night. Better her than Xiao Qing. What was he supposed to say? What's a civilised thing to say?
"Yes." Sakura bobbed her head up and down. "Thanks again for offering to walk me back." She momentarily frowned, as if thinking about something unpleasant. The expression quickly passed.
He shrugged. Fumbling a bit, Syaoran closed the newspaper in his hands. Adding it to the one tucked under his arm, the young man raked a hand through his hair. Struggling for something else to say, he asked another question before inwardly cringing. "Why are you here?"
You'd think after talking to the President of China I would be able to handle addressing a girl. I can't believe I thought she was Xiao Qing. He stared outside, before calming himself down. Sakura looked back down on the magazine wistfully. Giving up on the luxury, Sakura walked towards Syaoran. She pointed at the newspaper underneath his arm.
"I'm looking for a newspaper for one of my assignments. And I saw you through the window." She didn't look at all awkward that she was talking to him. Shifting the backpack so it sat better on her shoulder, Sakura waited patiently. "I was just coming back from a delivery and all the newsagents near Nadeshiko's were out of the Daily."
"And?"Why? There's got to be more then that. Everyone has another motive for talking to me. Even Fanren wants something.
"I wanted to see what you were reading." Hesitantly, her green eyes looked down at the paper on his paper. "You've got the last copy in this whole street. I've been all over the city looking for it." Syaoran was a bit surprised. Out of all things to say, that wasn't something he was expecting. He wasn't conceited enough to expect something like a confession, but it wouldn't have been the first time something like that happened. What a strange girl.
She adjusted the backpack on her arm, blushing a bit with shame. "Can I look at it before you buy it?" I know the class can borrow it from the library, but it's always so torn up by the time I get to it. Not to mention I don't have much time before it's due. I've only got tonight. I'll have to cram some tomorrow morning shift so I can get it done.
"Ah." He shrugged, before nodding. "Sure."
She smiled brightly.
He hadn't realised she followed him until he was on the street curb. The wind was really strong; it was tugging at his coat lapels. A bit irritated that his hair was getting into his face, Syaoran brushed the pieces away only for them to return to his face. He inwardly sighed. I can't be bothered anymore. He let them caress his face. It was past three in the afternoon, and there were only a few people down this street. The sun was warm; he glared half-heartedly at the shadows on the sidewalk. Winter was over with and Spring was rearing its head.
"Hoee. You walk so fast!"
Her voice made him slow down, shortening his strides. He didn't stop, letting her run to catch up. Stepping side by side, Sakura stayed at his side. Unlike Syaoran, she clearly enjoyed the sunshine. It left a sunny smile on her face, even though she was struggling to keep up with him. She was taller than most girls her age but Syaoran still managed to hold almost a head over her.
They were walking up a hilled avenue and as they reached the top, Sakura's smile grew. Before them, down this particular road and across the esplanade, was the beach. Both walked in comfortable silence till the end of the road before Sakura cleared her throat. She turned to look at Syaoran for a moment, contemplating something. Making up her mind, she opened her mouth.
"Are you busy?"
Syaoran tilted his gaze down towards his companion. He couldn't help but notice Sakura had a hopeful look in her eyes. He was quiet for a second, musing his timetable. When nothing came to him, Syaoran cautiously answered. It was never a good thing to promise something to someone. They might want more from him later. He could always say that he didn't have much spare time on his hands though. Luckily for her, he was in a carefree mood this afternoon. He was sick of walking around and getting lost. Familiarising yourself to a city was a hard job when most streets looked the same. That and it had been awhile since he'd enjoyed company.
"No. I'm done for the day." I'm getting a bit tired of shops now. I've wasted all day on this. He faltered a step. I can't believe Xiefa hanged up on me!
Sakura pushed forth without stopping. Carefully, she minced her way around a sidewalk tree, all the while heading in the general direction towards the beach.
"It's been a while since I've been to the beach. Do you want to come?"
He shrugged. There was no reason for him to not go.
Once again resuming their quiet companionship, they walked the rest of the way towards the beach. As Syaoran got closer and closer, he could smell the salt on the air, hear the keening of the seagulls. They crossed the last barrier, the esplanade, all the while their hair whipped around them. As they walked off the grass and onto the beginning of the beach, both stopped to look at the waves and sand. Syaoran's amber eyes watched as a gull landed on the water, bobbed for a second before diving down. The bird reminded him of the cormorants back on the Pearl River. The black fishing birds would often stalk trawling boats, diving for fish nearby.
Sakura was about to say something, turning to point out a tiny crab, when she saw Syaoran's expression. Her eyes widened slightly.
His eyes are warm. He looked like he drank in the wildness, the calmness, the wideness of the ocean. It was like he'd never seen it before. She gazed at him for a moment, not realising her cheeks were slowly turning pink. When Syaoran blinked, Sakura bit her lip and turned away. She surveyed the beach herself. They were lucky. No one was walking on the beach today and the weather was surprisingly lovely. It was unusually warm for a spring day, but perfect for spending some time in the sand and surf.
Trying to get rid of the unsettling feeling inside of her, Sakura eagerly left Syaoran on the sandy edge of the beach. She walked onto the sand, her shoes slowly sinking in. With a sudden carefree laugh, she pulled off her apron, tossing in on the sand as a makeshift beach towel. She plopped herself and her backpack on it and kicked her shoes off. She let the wild wind mess up her hair, grinning as the strands flew into her face. She missed this feeling. She missed being at the beach just for fun. She missed having fun. She curled herself back, looking at Syaoran.
"Come on!" she called.
Something in her voice, her happiness, made him follow suit. With his chocolate bangs fluttering in his eyes, Syaoran stepped onto the beach sand and followed Sakura's footsteps to where she was sitting. The wind tugged at his clothes, promising to play. He dropped down onto the sand, and gingerly sat on the apron. Sakura laughed with happiness. She wanted to dance, to twirl, to fling her arms wide open in the air. Staring out windows was fine and all when there was work to do, but nothing could compare to having it right in front of you.
He was looking back at her, a curious mixture of wonder and wariness directed at her. Sakura, feeling his gaze on her, looked back at him, a question in her eyes.
"I've never been to a beach before." He stopped, realising how strange that sounded. He corrected himself with a frown. Why do the strangest things come out of my mouth when she's around? He looked around, seeing sand dunes in the distance. "I've been to the river, but I've never seen the ocean. I never knew it was this expansive. On the Pearl or at its edge, you could always see the other side of the river."
He stared at the water. He had plenty of memories of a harbour and getting sick on Eriol's yacht, seen many pictures of the sea and saw clouds on the plane over, but he'd never hitched up his pants and walked barefoot like she was doing. The shimmer of the water was brighter on his eyes than he remembered and the foamy crest of waves went higher than any motorboat trail could make. The horizon went further than his eyes could see.
"Aren't you hot?"
He blinked, distracted. Syaoran looked at Sakura only to find her green eyes already on him. He blinked when she pointed at his coat. Shrugging to herself when he didn't do anything, Sakura let herself enjoy the salty air. She squealed when sand was carried with the wind's playful fingers and thrown at the both of them. Syaoran felt it rake at his hand.
He still hadn't said anything. He didn't need to. She was right, but he wasn't going to admit it. Syaoran pulled off his thick coat, folding and placing it on Sakura's improvised towel, before flicking a button from the top of his shirt. It was a fine spring day and it was too warm to spend it in thick clothes. He was glad he'd chosen a thinner shirt underneath. When Sakura was turned away, he let out a tiny smile.
"Do you like it?" She was wriggling her toes in the sand, and piling sand up on her feet. Both of them slowly watched her feet disappear into a mound of sand.
"You mean the beach?"
"Everything. The waves, the air, the sky…" She threw her head back with a happy sigh.
"I don't get to spend much time outside."
"I wish I could spend more time outside too. I know we're in the city, but I love that we have a beach so close." She paused, digging her hands into the sand. "I used to come here a lot when I was younger. With my mother. But I don't remember much about that time." Sakura traced a mermaid on her sand covered feet. She wrapped her arms around her sandy knees, hugging herself. A wistful smile hovered on her lips. Suddenly feeling restless from all her momentary sadness, Sakura stood, not bothering to shake the sand off herself.
Making up her mind to be happy in the sun, she playfully ran a few metres to the water's edge, blissfully enjoying the sinking of her toes into the wet sand. She giggled to herself as the water tickled her toes; foam crept up onto her ankles, washing away the grit of beach sand. She spread her arms out, letting the wind try and blow her away.
Syaoran watched her. He didn't know anyone who was so carefree. His eyes darkened for a moment as he realised how pathetic that sounded. Standing up, he meticulously took off his shoes and followed her, not used to his feet sinking into hot sand. It was a strange sensation. While spinning around, Sakura saw him approach. She gave him a radiant smile, and he faltered a step. When he reached her, she stood still, letting the waves come up to them.
"The sea makes you feel very small doesn't it?" She shaded her eyes with her hand, staring out to the bright edge of the horizon.
"It does. Someone told me it makes your problems disappear for a time." He snorted lightly. "Wei is an idiot. It doesn't make the problems go away." In the corner of his eye, Syaoran couldn't help but superimpose another figure at his side. Sakura and Xiao Qing were both exactly the same height.
It didn't help that Xiao Qing had always been by his side. It had become a natural occurrence to find her there, waiting for him to notice her. Gentle, always waiting, never pushy unlike so many other girls. Sakura shifted, swinging her arms about and Syaoran let the picture slip away. He was ruining a good day. He released the fist he found himself making.
Gruffly, he spoke, "Thanks for bringing me here."
She smiled again at him.
"I think a place like this relieves stress at least." For all her happiness, Syaoran noted that she did look rather worn out. He looked away. I don't need to be concerned about her. She can take care of herself.
Sakura took no notice of his scrutiny. Walking back to her apron and her backpack, she sat back down and scooped up a handful of white sand, just to feel it trickle through her fingers. Small particles of grit clung to her palm and she brushed them away. Carefully, she opened her backpack. She pulled out two hair bands and carefully tied her hair back into two little buns. She stared up at Syaoran, who was now shading her with his shadow. He was looking quizzically at her. She looked away, a distant look in her eyes as she stared at the glassy waters. After a silence, she spoke up.
"It's hard, sometimes."
"What?"
"Just talking."
Gruffly, he sat down with her. From his folded coat, Syaoran retrieved a fountain pen. Grabbing her hand, Syaoran carefully wrote something on her palm. Sakura wanted to giggle, but she only wriggled her fingers in laughter. It tickled, whatever he was writing. When he released her hand and refused to look her in the eyes, she glanced down at her palm. Her green eyes widened slightly. She looked at him in askance.
"I stay up late."
Holding her wrist carefully, Sakura stared at the young man in front of her. Wonderingly, she gazed at his phone number carefully written on her palm.
Thank you.