Disclaimer: clever disclaimer which gets the point across that I do not own House or any of it's characters, but I wish I did

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"That was so not cool, dude."

He made it sound like a surfer-esque Keanu reeves was sitting across the room reprimanding him.

Wilson couldn't help but smile at him even as pissed as he was that his pants were now covered in his lunch.

"You make it sound like it was my fault you spilt my lunch all over me." He shot back while wiping chunks of gravy covered mashed potatoes onto the white tiled floor.

House reached over the coma patient with his cane and pressed the nurse call button on the side of the handrail.

"Clean up isle six!"

Wilson shot him another look as his friend yelled at the call button

"Oh, don't worry he…"

House motioned to coma guy with his cane

"Doesn't mind."

Wilson oddly stood up, feeling incredibly gross with mashed potatoes and gravy soaking into his slacks.

"Come on let's go…I need to change, this is so…gross"

He walked oddly out of Coma Guy's room, House trailing behind snickering at his movements."

" Shut up, it's your fault I can't walk right."

Cuddy glanced at them as they walked past her in the hallway, did she hear what she thought she heard? They had such an odd friendship. She noticed House noticing her staring.

"Yes, it's what it looks like, we slept together last night, it was magical, Jimmie here is just a little sore yet, but don't worry he'll get used to it."

He almost shouted that. A few others walking by who'd overheard stared for a second before continuing on their way.

Wilson got a disgruntled sort of look on his face as he stood for a second longer in front of Cuddy before having to jog a few steps to catch up with house, who had continued walking towards his office as if he had merely said "hello" to her.

He pushed the thought out of his mind that for a second he wished House were telling Cuddy the truth instead of joking. God, he had to stop getting these thoughts in his head. He'd been having them ever since he'd moved in with House. Maybe the divorce was having this effect on him. He hoped that was it, that the divorce was all this was. These feelings were new to him, sexual thoughts about his best friend…best guy friend…it was just scary. Hopefully it would all just go away after everything with Julie gets revolved.

He finally remembered to keep walking after a very sexual picture of House on his knees (if that were possible, it was his fantasy after all, anything was possible) helping to clean the mashed potatoes off of his pants popped in and out of his mind. He shuddered, not wanting to dismiss the image.

Looking down at himself, he realized that the way he'd been walking down the hall, he kind of did look like he'd been man fucked last night, but really it was just gravy in his boxers.

He contemplated saying something about everything to House, knowing he'd think it was all a big joke between them, but decided against it thinking he might not be able to pull off the actual joking part of it right now. He told House he owed him a new lunch instead.

"Oh, Wilson, we can skip the dates and get to the good part, I'm cheap like that."

"I'm hungry." He motioned to his mashed potato pants.

His friend just glared back.

"You should get changed, looking like that is just unacceptable, not professional at all."

He new House was just trying to avoid having to pay for something.

"House you know you have clinic duty, right?'

"Let's go."

House made a complete direction change and began walking the way they had come.

"I'm hungry, you made me spill your lunch all over your lap and now I don't have anything to eat."

Wilson got a new image of House that again involved mashed potato covered body parts, and then smiled; he knew that clinic threat would work. The ever so greatly despised clinic duty was a sure fire way to get House to do almost anything. He would probably fuck him if he offered to take it over for the next few months, he joked about it himself in his mind. He then stopped to wonder if House really would fuck him to get off clinic duty.

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He watched as House hightailed it to a table leaving him to pay. House got him with that all the time, "running" off as best he could last second telling the lady "together" before he fled. He grabbed a fistful of napkins and began rubbing at his pants as he made his way over to the small table House sat at waiting.

"So to what extremes would you go to get of clinic duty?" He waved a breadstick at him while asking before taking a bite off the end.

The thought about taking it over for him from before raced through his mind, he knew he'd never ask that specifically, but he couldn't help but talk about the subject, even if only to indulge his own new fantasy.

"Nothing I'm not already doing, I obviously don't have to go to any extremes, I've brilliantly avoided it pretty well thus far."

House grabbed the breadstick and took a bite. Wilson didn't do anything, accepting the fact long ago that House would do whatever he wanted with food labeled "Wilson's, eat and die." This breadstick did not have a cleverly labeled threatening sticky note, but it wasn't any different. It was Wilson's so it was House's. He watched House poke his fork into the rest of the lunch that did not belong to him, and sighed, he could never just sit and eat his own lunch without House's fork wandering into it.

"Why, what extremes did you have in mind?" House asked, his mouth full of food.

Why did he find this man attractive?

"Nothing I was just trying to think of something you wouldn't do, that way I would do everything humanly possible to put that in the way of you not doing clinic duty."

Wilson snatched his breadstick back. His hand grazing over House's as he did so. His heart sped up for a second at the contact; House having this new affect was going to be the death of him.

"Why, I thought you loved me jimmie." It was a statement not a question.

" It can be payback for all these years of torture you've put me through."

"You won't be able to think of anything anyways." He made a grab for the breadstick, missing.

Oh, House had no idea what things he had in mind for his friend

House took another bite of Wilson's lunch.

"You have to sleep with Cameron."

"What makes you think I wouldn't do that."

He would.

"Fine, you have to sleep with me." The words came out like they meant nothing.

Wilson saw House shift uneasily in his chair. He wanted House to think he was kidding so he could just say what he wanted out loud without really saying it, but he might have gone too far.

He gave him a lopsided Wilson-like grin before calmly taking a sip of his water.

"Is that a bet?" House smiled childishly back at his friend, like he'd just pulled the most miraculous toy out of the bottom of a cereal box.

Wilson made a mental note to thank God later about House not taking his comment seriously. He really liked the way this conversation was going, even if to House it was just messing around. He was slightly turned on… more than slightly.

"Definitely, I win and you do your clinic duty the rest of the year… like you should be doing anyways, you win and I do your clinic duty the rest of the year."

Wilson stared intently into those gorgeous crystal blue eyes; the look he gave to House was just daring him to take their conversation seriously. They held the gaze for what seemed like forever before a loud beep coming from his friend's pant's pocket caused House to break away and stand up abruptly, quickly announcing that the ducklings were in need of his brilliance. He was avoiding eye contact. Wilson figured he was slightly taken aback by the odd moment they had just shared. House gave him a friendly, unsure smile before rushing towards the door.

Wilson wasn't quite sure whether he'd blown it or not. His heart began to sink down a little in his chest as he began to figure out how he would play this off later.

House, almost out of the room, turned and pointed his cane at him. "Well, you'll just have to come over later and we can work it all out. I knew you loved me."

Wilson sighed with relief before turning back to his lunch, good this was all still one big joke between friends. He didn't mess anything up.

House had not known what to think after that odd stare they had shared before, but then remembered it was Wilson, who was all straight and no gay, who had no intention of ever sleeping with him, and had just done a pretty good job at messing with his mind. He knew Wilson would come over, drink beer, get drunk, and pass out. End of story.

House wasn't going to do his clinic duty anyways, so this bet really didn't mean anything…he was going to screw with Wilson's head about it all night long though. Wilson wasn't going to get away with making him feel so uncomfortable earlier; making people uncomfortable was his job.

Wilson was going to regret coming up with that bet of his, House would make sure of it.

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AN Thumbs up? Thumbs down?

R&R...much appreciated, also any ideas you'd like to share for the next chapter would be great.