Khknight: Hello all! Wow, I haven't updated in like, ever.

Sora: No shit.

Khknight: Hey, you can just shut the fuck up and kiss my ass you stupid spikey-haired son of a bitch!

Riku: Wow, someone learned how to curse.

Sora: HEY! The ladies dig the hair!

Kairi: -taps foot- Ahem.

Sora: Heh, heh. Hi Kai.

Khknight: Okay, while we take care of this bloodshed, let's move on to the update!

The Randomness Commands Me To

The King and His Kast Part 1

The author walks into a blue room with two chairs and a side table. He sits in one of the chairs and looks to the audience and says, "Hello all to the first episode of The King and His Kast! Today, we're interviewing that spikey-haired weirdo, Sora!"

Sora walks in with his KH2 outfit on and waves to the audience as they clap. He takes a seat next to the author and shakes his hand.

"Thanks for having me here." He says to the author.

"No, thanks you. So how have you liked being in my fanfics?" the author replies. Sora takes a deep breath and smiles.

"I've enjoyed it very much. I always end up in situations that I resolve and I always get paired up with Kairi." He explains happily. Suddenly, a fan girl ran up to Sora with hearts in her eyes.

"LIKE, OH EM GEE! I JUST LOVE YOU! MARRY ME!" she yelled at Sora. Then, a white haired man with the tag entitled "Security" on his shirt dragged her away.

"Thank you very much Taiko!" the author exclaimed. "Moving on, would you say that Kairi is your one true love?"

"Ahhh…." Sora stalled. He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm not entirely sure. Love is really a mysterious thing. I've looked at Namine, Yuffie, and many other girls. I've been paired up with lots of people in fanfics." He explained.

"Um…" the author gulped. "Wow, what a lament. On to the next topic. Sora, what do you plan on doing after my fanfics?"

"Well, save the worlds again, duh." He replied sarcastically.

"With that duck and dog again?" the author asked with a smile.

"Probably not. I'd like to go adventuring with Kairi and Riku, like we originally planned." He answered.

"Besides, those two kinda scare me. Donald's always walking around without pants. I mean, isn't that a universal offense for streaking? And Goofy! He can walk on all four legs but he's the same species as Pluto and dogs at Twilight Town! It's a paradox! HOW THE HELL DOES HE FIT IN EVOLUTION ANYWAY?!" he yelled, standing on his chair. He cleared his throat and sat back down.

"So yeah, I'm gonna go save the world with Riku and Kairi." He finished.

"O…kay. Let's go on to our next subject. Who would you say has the most spikey hair in the people you know, including yourself?" the author asked.

He took another deep breath and chuckled. "Wow, that's a hard one. Let's see, there's Leon, Cloud, Riku, Axel, and myself." He began. He took a second to think. "I think Cloud has the most spikey air out of all of us." He replied. "His hair has the longest length out of all of us."

"Speaking of spikey hair, how do you keep your hair spiked twenty-four seven?" the author asked. The audience leaned forward. This was the big question they were waiting for.

"Well, it's quite simple. I-"Before Sora could even start to begin, a large rumbling began.

The doors for the audience blasted open and there stood an angry mob consisting of Roxas, Leon, Cloud, Axel, Hayner, and Tidus. They were lead by a very angry Kairi.

"K-KAIRI!" Sora screamed. Kairi's eyes burned with anger.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M NOT YOUR TRUE LOVE!" she bellowed at him. Sora shuddered.

"Wait, why are those guys here?" the author asked.

"BECAUSE SORA LOOKED AT OUR GIRLS!" they yelled. They yelled so hard, the author's hair was blown back, and stayed that way. The author shook his head and fixed his hair.

"Gentlemen," Kairi took out her keyblade, "CHARGE!" she yelled as she pointed at Sora. Sora screamed and ran backstage. The angry mob followed as the author watched.

"Well, I guess that ends today's show. See you all next week or whenever the hell I feel like. Today's motto: Don't be a fool, never poke a mule." The author said before walking off stage and the audience clapped."

Sora: You forgot one topic!

Khknight: I did?

Sora: Yeah! You forgot to talk about how annoying emos can be!

Khknight, Riku, and Roxas: BITCH, WE RESENT THAT!