Disclaimer: I'm a Navy recruit who leaves for boot camp in just over two weeks. Do you really think I own anything? No, it is all owned by our god Joss. I do however own an apple, but that's it.

Summary: A plot bunny that came to me while reading a Virtual Season episode while eating an apple.

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"Malus domestica Borkh." River announced with a grin, leaping up from her seat at Serenity's dining table and holding an apple triumphant over her head.

"A what?" Jayne asked, scratching his head.

"An apple." She said with a slow smile. "A symbol of everything from love and sexuality to evil and sin."

"Ah." He said after a moment. Then he took a bite of his own apple.

"In Judeo-Christian beliefs the apple was the forbidden fruit, the thing Eve borrowed from a tree and shared with Adam, giving them both the knowledge of the world." She held the apple at eye-level, staring at it intently. "Which is an odd thing to say. A fruit cannot imbue knowledge by being consumed. Your gastro-intestinal tract doesn't learn from the consumables that pass through it."

"And that a piece of fruit lodged in a man's windpipe and became the laryngeal prominence is utter nonsense. It is merely cartilage that is more prominent in male homo sapiens."

"O…kay." He said after another moment.

"Three thousand years ago in the Mediterranean males proposed monogamous lifelong bondage to a female by throwing an apple at her." She cocked her head to the side and she continued to study her apple. "If she proceeded to catch it, then it meant that she agreed to the terms of a contractual agreement."

"Huh." Was all Jayne could think to say.

"Although one wonders what legal ramifications there would be if the apple were to strike the female upside the cranium." She smiled slowly.

"Maybe that she should learn to duck." The mercenary said when she seemed to want him to say something in response.

River nodded, her eyes still on the apple. She stood and headed for the doorway, dancing up the steps. "Possibly."

A moment after River danced out towards the cargo bay, a small piece of fruit went flying through the air towards Jayne's head. He caught it easily in one hand and look curiously over at the archway.

River poked her head out of the doorway and smiled widely. "I think a June bonding ceremony would be appropriate. I must ask Inara what days are considered important in this region of the system." She disappeared from view.

Jayne thought for a second, looked down at the apple and then back in the direction River had gone in. "Wait, what?" He shouted after her as he jumped out of his chair and ran after her.