An Ode to Peeves

When there's strife and when there's trouble

Call on Peevsie, he'll make double!

The Hogwarts poltergeist is not one to boast,

But he is sure that he's the most

Annoying inhabitant the castle has ever had.

It's not that Peevsie wants to be bad -

He just knows that life's more fun

When there's a joke – and he's not the one

On the receiving end.

Better his friend

Than his enemy, running to hide

From the poltergeist you know is inside

The castle, waiting for you.

What will you do

When he empties a bucket over your head?

You get angry, your face turns red.

Instead of fleeing, he laughs instead,

And watches as you turn to find

The student you thought was standing behind you

Is actually your potions master.

And at the core of this disaster

Is the poltergeist's elated laughter

Echoing off the castle walls.