Summary: "You're Waltfeld's woman," he exclaimed in realization. Mwu's journey to the afterlife allowed him to meet someone who was in the situation he was in, and together, they could learn to cope. Mwu/Aisha, Mwu/Murrue, Andy/Aisha
LEARNING TO COPE
by MapleRose
----
"Hey, are you all right?"
A gentle female voice made the blond man look up, and he was greeted by a beautiful, exotic-looking woman with long blue hair. There was genuine concern in her emerald eyes.
He nodded slowly and stood up, "Yeah, just got a headache." Then he mumbled dryly, half to himself, "Explosions hurt like hell."
"Oh," she answered softly, then smiled sympathetically. "It'll pass soon, trust me."
"Thanks," he mumbled half-heartedly.
"So, you're new here, I take it?" she asked him casually. He nodded.
She sighed, sounding sad. "A lot of newcomers today. Must've been the battles."
"Yeah…" he turned away, hiding the sadness and anger in his eyes as images of Boaz and Genesis flashed in front of his eyes.
"I wonder if it's over…" he mused aloud. He was slightly anxious actually. Was the Archangel all right?
The woman beside him looked thoughtful. "Wanna go see?"
"Really? How?"
She didn't answer, just smiled secretively and led him to an ordinary-looking pond. She placed her hand on a rock beside the pond and closed her eyes, concentrating. He watched her curiously, before the pond caught his attention.
The water shifted, revealing images of outer space, littered by mechanical debris. He recognized a red and white shape floating amongst the junk and sighed with relief. The Archangel looked battered and worn, but at least it was still in one piece.
"Good, she's still standing..."
"And so is the Eternal," the woman noted, pointing to the pink ship next to the Archangel .
"I see that Genesis is gone, so I guess they did it," he grinned proudly. But the grin faded as the images changed, now showing the Archangel hangar, where the captain was standing there, gazing at the empty space left by the Strike. She stood up straight and proud, but her face was tear-stained and her puffy eyes welled with tears.
He suddenly felt guilt stab at his heart, as he saw her whisper the words you promised...
"Murrue..." he reached out to touch her, but all his fingers felt were water.
Then the images faded, leaving his reflection staring back at him.
The woman beside him placed a hand on his shoulder. And when he glanced up, he was grateful to see that there was compassion in her emerald eyes.
"I'm sure that she'll be okay, she's pretty strong."
"Yeah...I know, but I..." he turned back to the water, hiding his face from her.
After a bit of silence, the blue-haired woman spoke up, hoping to change the subject.
"Well, since you're new here, and you know that they're okay, want me to show you around?"
"Er, sure I guess."
He stared at the woman, suddenly wondering how she knew about the Archangel and the Eternal. Something about her seemed familiar...
"Yes?" she asked as she caught his gaze.
"Uh, have we met before?"
She shook her head and smiled, almost a secretive smile as if she knew something he didn't. "No, I don't think so."
Still, he couldn't help but think he had seen her someplace before, though he couldn't recall where. He wracked his brain, trying to remember why she looked so familiar, when it came to him.
"You're Waltfeld's woman," he exclaimed in realization.
She laughed at his choice of words. "Well, that's one to put it." She extended a hand, "I'm Aisha."
"Mwu la Flaga," he replied, taking her hand.
She nodded. "Yes, I know who you are."
"You do? But... you just said that we've never met."
Aisha smiled, "I've seen the events around Andy for the past few months, and I've seen you a couple of times."
"Oh, I see."
"But how did you know who I was?" she asked, curious.
"I've seen Waltfeld carrying your picture around with him," he answered.
"Which one?" she asked, "Wait, don't tell me, is it the one with me on the bed?"
Mwu nodded, slightly embarrassed.
She laughed heartily. "Oh, that Andy! Of all photos of me, he just had to pick that one!"
"Well, at least he has a picture of you," said Mwu, suddenly realising something, "I forgot to leave Murrue a picture of me..."
Aisha smiled sympathetically. "That's okay, I'm sure she'll remember you even without any photographs."
"Yeah..."
She smiled again, a soft smile mixed with compassion and assurance. He suddenly felt a pang in his heart. Her smile, it reminded him so much of Murrue's…
"What's wrong?" she asked when he looked away, troubled.
"Nothing...just remembering something that's all."
Silence passing between them, before Aisha spoke up.
"So anyway, on with the tour," she gestured.
"Uh, right, thanks," he mumbled, following her.
She showed him where he'd be eating and sleeping, and showed him various highlights around town. He noted with awe that everything here was pretty much the same as it was on Earth. If he didn't know better, he probably wouldn't have known that he was dead and this was the land of the afterlife.
"It seems that you know this place pretty well," he remarked, looking around.
"Heh, well, I've been here for a while," she replied. "I guess you could say I'm getting used to it here." She waved to a couple of people across the street and nodded in greeting.
"Yeah... I can see that..."
"Don't worry," she flashed him a grin, "You'll get used it life here too pretty soon."
"I guess," he replied softly. Perhaps he would, but he'd feel very lonely without Murrue here.
"Come on," seeing his depressed look, Aisha spoke up in a cheerful tone, "I'll take you to this awesome coffee shop that I found, my treat."
Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along.
---
The coffee shop was a quaint little place, the dark wood decor gave it a warm and welcoming atmosphere, and the people were very friendly.
Mwu took a sip of the brew that Aisha had ordered for him. He had to admit, it was pretty good.
"Not bad. You have pretty good taste," he commented.
Aisha laughed, a crisp sound that seemed so carefree. "Well, all those years living with Andy and his coffee does pay off you know. I learned from the best." She looked a bit nostalgic as she looked down at the swirling patterns made by the coffee in her mug. "The first thing I did when I came here was find all of the coffee shops and figure out which one was the best. I know that Andy would love this place..." her voice became soft as she smiled sadly at the memory. "It kind of reminds me of the place where Andy and I had first met..."
She shook her head, as if coming back to reality from some memories. She cleared her throat. "So anyway," she looked up at Mwu, "Does your head still hurt?"
He blinked, as if coming back from a trance himself. "Uh, no. No, it's better now."
She grinned smugly. "See, I told you it'd go away pretty soon."
He smiled back weakly. The headache seemed to be gone, but there was this new pain from his heart. He was starting to wonder whether he should've left her at all. And then there was this guilt, from seeing Murrue's tears.
Aisha watched him silently. She understood how he felt, for she had felt the same way those first few days that she was here. It still hurt of course, but in time, she'd learned to accept it. And she hoped it would be the same for him.
"So uh, you know about me, what about you?" he asked, looking for something to talk about when the silence became too uncomfortable. "How did you end up here?"
"Well," she started, sipping her coffee, "I guess I kind of knew it was coming. I knew that the Lagowe wasn't going to hold up for long. Andy even told me to get off. But like hell I'd leave him alone in that thing. I'd rather die," she laughed as she realised what she'd just said. "And I guess I've made my choice. We were a team, and I don't abandon my teammates."
"That's very noble and loyal of you," he commented. "Or very foolish."
Aisha shrugged. "They say there's not much difference. Either way, right before the explosion, we embraced, saying our goodbyes and how we'd meet on the other side." She sighed. "But I guess it wasn't his time yet. He still had things to do. The last thing I remember is his smile, as if he's proud of what he'd done. That Andy, he really is hopeless," she shook her head, almost in amusement. "Well, at least I died happy. I guess I've completed my mission on Earth, fulfilled my Destiny you could way. Besides, the pain was over in seconds, so it wasn't too gruesome," she grinned at Mwu.
"So I guess you protected him eh." So that was how Waltfeld managed to survive that explosion.
She shrugged again. "I suppose, though I don't remember if I did it on purpose or not," she laughed. "But I didn't do a very good job though...he still lost his arm and leg, and his left eye."
"Hey, at least he's alive."
"True," she agreed. "Though I didn't do as good as job as you."
"Pardon?" he raised an eyebrow.
"You sacrificed yourself intentionally, unlike me, who did it kind of by accident," she smiled sheepishly. "And you were thorough, I mean, she was unharmed. Though I guess you'd probably wanted to see her one last time or something."
"Well I didn't exactly have much time or many options to choose from you know," he replied dryly, making her laugh. "But I'm happy my plan worked at least."
"Yeah..."
The two of them fell into silence again.
"Did I… do the right thing?" he spoke up softly, looking to Aisha for advice. He was sure that he had, but remembering Murrue's devastated reaction to his actions…he wasn't sure anymore. He didn't want her to cry because of him.
"Would you rather she be here instead of you?" Aisha asked instead of answering, staring out the window.
He sighed. Aisha had a point.
"Thanks," he replied.
This Aisha, she was so straightforward and sarcastic, the opposite of his tactful and polite Murrue. In fact, in this aspect, Aisha almost reminded Mwu of himself. He grinned to himself at that thought, glad that he'd found a companion in this place.
---
For the next few weeks, as Mwu got used to life in the realm of the dead, he and Aisha met almost everyday, either at the coffee shop or at the viewing pond, where together, they observed life on Earth as the Archangel descended, carrying its crew along with some of the Eternal and Kusanagi crew to Orb.
He slowly adjusted to life without Murrue, and was grateful for Aisha's presence, taking in comfort knowing that he wasn't alone.
He started to enjoy Aisha's company. She was nice and friendly, was pleasant to be around, and had a nice sense of humour. But most of all, she understood what he was going through and could relate, sometimes she'd even offer advice for him based on her own experiences. He could tell however, that even though she put up a cheerful face, she still missed her Andy, and he could see her sadness and loneliness when it seeped through her façade. She must have loved Waltfeld a lot.
Sometimes, Mwu would go to the pond by himself, where he would watch over Murrue as her tears dried, and she gradually accepted his death. He had to admire how strong she really was, as she tucked away her personal feelings when she needed to be the Captain.
He was pleasantly surprised to discover one day that she could still see him occasionally and that he could still visit her. Although he couldn't stay long, he took comfort in knowing that they could at least communicate. He had apologized to her, to which she smiled sadly and told him that he didn't need to, and that it wasn't his fault.
"I love you Murrue, you know that right?" he told her one day.
Her eyes welled with tears as she nodded, reaching for his hand. He gently caught her tears with his lips.
"But I want you to be happy," he continued, stroking her cheek fondly. "So please don't cry anymore."
She nodded again, leaning into his hand and closed her eyes.
"And since I can't make you happy anymore..." he looked away sadly, "So if somebody else could... You know, it's okay to... move on, right?"
She embraced him, trying to hold on tight to his fleeting presence. "But Mwu, I don't..."
"I know..." he kissed her dark waves. "But you have to let go eventually and accept the fact that... that we don't live in the same world anymore... We have to learn to move on, the both of us."
She nodded slowly, reluctantly.
"But know that I will always love you, and I'll be here to protect you...always..."
----
"So are you feeling better now?" asked Aisha one day as they sat under a tree beside the viewing pond.
"Hmm?" he was leaning against the tree and cracked open an eye to look at her. "Oh, yeah I guess. I'm coping. And I think she's learning to cope too," he smiled.
"That's good to hear." She stood up and walked to the pond, peering at the images it showed her.
Mwu closed his eyes again. It had kind of hurt to tell Murrue that it was okay to go on living without him, that it was okay if she were to find someone else. But he knew it was for the best, he couldn't be there for her anymore, and he didn't want her to be alone all of her life.
"Well, looks like we have new development," Aisha's amused voice caught Mwu's attention.
"What do you mean?" he sat up, curious.
"Come and see for yourself," she wouldn't say anything more, just simply motioned him to come.
He made his way to her and peered into the portal. What he saw made his hair bristle.
There, sitting at a table, dressed very casually in the T-shirt and shorts she always slept in, sat Murrue, sipping her coffee and eating breakfast. But what surprised Mwu so much was the man sitting across the table from her. The Desert Tiger sat there in what looked like his sleeping T-shirt and pants, drinking coffee and reading the morning paper. He said something incomprehensible and she laughed, almost choking on her food.
"I didn't know Andy had company," commented Aisha lightly.
"C-Company?" Judging by the way the two at the table interacted, and the fact that they were both wearing their sleeping clothes, it hardly seemed to Mwu that Waltfeld was just inviting Murrue over for some casual company.
Aisha didn't seem to hear him, or his surprise and rising anger. "Last time I saw him, he was living alone," she continued, then shrugged as if it was no big deal to her. "Guess he was lonely and wanted company."
"He, he's...and Murrue... living together?" Mwu managed to choke out.
Aisha looked confused by the way he was getting so worked up.
"Don't tell me," Aisha studied his face closer, "That you're jealous." She raised an eyebrow, looking fully amused now.
Mwu looked away and snorted, "Well, aren't you?"
She sighed. "I guess…a little," she whispered softly. For a rare moment, she sounded sad, dropping her light façade for now.
"Though we really have no right to feel this way," she reminded him quietly. "We sort of gave up our rights, remember?"
"I know but…" Aisha was right of course. He was glad to see Murrue laughing once again, and he did tell her it was okay to find someone else. But still, he couldn't help feeling jealous. The thought that Waltfeld could see her, touch her, and talk to her all the time made him jealous and a little angry.
He sighed, realising how much of a hypocrite he was being. "I just...I guess I'm a bit surprised."
"Uh huh," she sounded like she thought he was making excuses, which he probably was.
"It's just that... He can be with her, and I..." he looked away, slightly embarrassed. "I know I said it was okay, but it still hurts when it actually happens." He sighed, "I guess it will take some time for me to get used to it..."
Then he turned to her, curious. "And what about you? Are you okay with this?"
She snorted. "Even if I don't like it, what can I do? I can't exactly return to life and snatch Andy away from Murrue-san now can I."
Mwu sighed. She had a point.
She exhaled softly. "Seriously though, yes I am a bit jealous too. But since there's nothing I can do, I have no choice but to let it be."
"But, at least Murrue-san could still see you from time to time," she blew at her bangs, and Mwu was surprised to discover that she sounded like she was holding back tears.
"Andy, he…doesn't see me anymore…" she continued softly.
"Eh? Why not?" Mwu was surprised by this bit of news.
"Because, once they accept your death, they will no longer be able to see you," Aisha answered sadly, and Mwu felt his heart going out to her. "I mean, I know I ought to be happy about the fact that he has accepted my death and moved on, but still... there's a part of me that just wish he wouldn't..." she wiped at her eyes, embarrassed. "Sorry, I must sound really selfish. I guess, I guess I'm jealous that Murrue-san could still see you, even though... Oh I really am very selfish..."
"No, I think I know how you feel. And you're not the only one who's selfish, we all are. I mean," he looked away, sad, "I wish that Murrue would be able to see me always too...but it isn't fair to her."
"I was naive enough to think that even though we live in different worlds, we could still be together, just like before, but..." she let out a choked laugh at her own naivety and shook her head. "I don't know where I got that idea from."
"So then, do you regret your decision?" he asked, referring to her decision to sacrifice herself.
"No. Not one bit," she replied clearly. There was a determination in her emerald eyes that made Mwu stare at her in awe.
"Me neither," he confirmed, smiling. Then he sighed. "But he still remembers you, so it's not like you've totally disappeared."
"It's not the same." She looked sad again. "Besides, once you die, you end your existence. You do disappear forever."
Mwu didn't understand. "But we're still here, aren't we?"
Aisha laughed bitterly. "No, we aren't. We don't exist anymore! Don't you see? We don't exist, heaven doesn't exist, the afterlife doesn't exist, there is nothing after death. It's simply something the living invent to make themselves feel more justified, to make themselves feel less guilty. This isn't real, none of it is!" she covered her face with her hands to hide the tears spilling out of her eyes. "The dead don't have any emotions, we aren't supposed to feel anything anymore, so why does it still hurt so much!"
He knitted his brows. "But Aisha-san, we are real. I'm here, wherever 'here' is, and you are here too. You are real, at least to me. I can see you clearly, I can hear your voice, I can smell you, I can sense you, and I can touch you." Suddenly, he pulled her into his arms, letting her feel the beating of his heart. "See? Feel that? I'm still here. So what if it is a different kind of existence, I don't care. As long as I exist somewhere."
Aisha cried at his words. She buried her head on his shoulder and cried. He held her close and stroked her back, letting her tears soak into his shirt.
"And it still hurts because we're still human," he whispered. "We're still capable of emotions, because we're still human."
"Thank you Mwu-san," she managed through hiccups as she dried her tears, pulling away from him, slightly embarrassed.
"Aisha-san, why did you find me that day?" he asked suddenly, referring to the day he came here, the day they met. "And why are you staying with me?"
She smiled softly, wistfully.
"I guess…I guess it was because I was lonely. I thought, well, I thought you of all people would understand my situation and how I feel. Besides," she gazed up at him, emerald eyes holding a sad longing look, "You, you remind me of Andy…"
"I see…" he replied softly.
"I, I'm sorry, that last bit," she spoke up again quickly as she tried to explain herself. "I mean, it's not like you're a substitution or anything like that, it's, well…"
"It's okay, I understand," he cut in, "I understand perfectly, because, well, you remind me of Murrue sometimes." Especially with the tender way she spoke of her lover a moment ago, and her warm smile.
She let out a small chuckle. "I guess we have that in common too."
He laughed too. "Either way, I'm glad that I have you here with me to keep me company."
"Yeah, me too," she reached up and kissed his lips briefly. Pulling away from the surprised man, she smiled and took his hand, pulling him along. "Shall we go?"
He nodded numbly and let her lead him. Then he smiled. Well, might as well make the best of his existence here.
In heaven, whether it is real or made up, the two lost souls of the war learned to cope with their existence in their own world.
Author's Notes: wow, that turned out...longer than I expected... but rather choppy in places... I dunno, I wrote this kinda late at night, so parts may not connect coherently as they could've and may seem random...
I've had this idea in my mind for quite a while actually. I love both Mwu/Murrue and Andy/Aisha, and I thought, if Andy and Murrue are together because of their similar circumstances, what about Mwu and Aisha? If Andy/Murrue sort of works, maybe Mwu and Aisha could be possible. I just wanted to try out the pairing, but the biggest problem in making it fit in canon is that they've never met. I thought about making it AU, having their situations reversed (ie Mwu and Aisha surviving), but that wouldn't really work because of Andy's role with the Eternal). So I chose something more canon and supernatural (I enjoy writing these types of things).
Another challenge was the setting. I'm not exactly the most creative when it comes to settings, and my idea of heaven/afterlife and how it works is rather blurry and confused, so I made it kind of vague, so you can imagine it however you want. Also, I wanted them to be able to look down on their loves, but I wasn't sure how that works, or how exactly they can see each other, so I made that kinda vague too... sorry...
The last bit, I'm not sure where it came from, Aisha's outburst was rather spontaneous, but I wanted to show that she's missing Andy too, even though she doesn't quite show it. I tried my best to make Aisha be in character. We don't actually see her too much, so I didn't have much to go on. But from what I've seen of her interactions with Andy, I sort of got an idea of her personality.
Another thing I've debated on is whether to take this in a more innocent, platonic type of way (kinda like where Andy and Murrue are, and will ever be), or make it closer to romantic. Because strangely, even though I can only see Andy and Murrue's relationship develop as far as they have in Destiny, I can actually see Mwu and Aisha get farther. I don't know why... perhaps it's because Mwu and Aisha are more straightforward and aren't as polite as Andy and Murrue... If you think about it, their personalities are quite similar, and I think the pairing is plausible.
But I think I ended up somewhere in the middle, where you can take it both ways. But note that I still have Mwu and Aisha refer to each other with honourifics (even though Mwu doesn't usually use them), so even with the kiss, their relationship is still kinda distant, but there is still potential...
Woah, this note is getting long too... sorry... reviews, comments, questions, critiques etc welcome! Oh yeah, a better title suggestion is welcome too...