Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters they are the property of their respective creators. Please be aware that no profit is being made from this work of fan fiction.

It started out as a relatively normal day; I woke up, showered, got dressed in my usual clothes, went to my office and spent the next four hours sat behind my desk, shifting paper work about and signing things. Not the most exciting job in the world by far, but considering all the fighting I've done these past few months it appears that this is the payback, no-one ever said that being Commander of Balamb Garden would be fun…but on the other hand I never asked for this, like so many other things in my life it was forced upon me because of other peoples decisions. Still, I suppose it has its moments; there are advantages to being the Commander of a military organisation after all, especially one that saved the nearby town from occupation.

That and the fact I have Rinoa now…and as much as I am loathe admitting it to anyone…my father as well. He's an idiot but he means well…the more I reflect on it I can't truly fault him for what he did; saving Ellone. It's just that I don't know how to explain…I'm not sure of the words to use to offer him forgiveness. I suppose one day we'll have to sort it out, sooner rather than later as Rinoa insists that he has to be at our wedding…whenever that is. I really do miss the simplicity of my old life, all I had to do back then was occasionally fight things and train with Seifer…it was then that my thoughts were interrupted as Xu ran in, slightly out of breath, obviously about to tell me something important…well, at least I hope it is, I'd take any excuse to escape from this paperwork.

"Sir…it's the Cactaurs…"

Oh Hyne! Not again! Well, I did say anything…

"They've escaped…again. Haven't they?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there in two minutes."

She saluted briefly before hurrying out again, leaving me alone to prepare. I stood up from behind my desk and walked over to one of the cabinets, intent on retrieving my weapon. I slid the doors open before lifting out the plain black case and putting it onto the top of the cabinet before opening it and spending a moment regarding its contents. Lionheart lay there, its blade still glimmering pale blue, as bright as it had been when I had struck down Ultimecia with it and ended the nightmare that all of us had been living under. Since then its remained here for the most part, lying dormant in this box…taking it in my hand I can feel its power pulsing through me, the familiar grip settling against my hand.

I quickly sheathed it on my belt before closing up the case and returning it to its proper place, sliding the doors shut and turning to depart. Evidently I had taken too long because Rinoa was at the door, looking at me expectantly.

"Gee Squall, could you take any longer?"

"Yes."

I proceeded to go and stand back behind my desk, acting as if I was toying with the idea of sitting back down. Rinoa of course was having none of it.

"Oh no you don't, you have to come help us deal with this Cactaur problem; after all you are the Commander aren't you?"

"And what do you think my subordinates would say if they saw you pushing me around like this?"

Before she could answer a voice replied from my doorway.

"That you're whipped…Sir."

Irvine added the 'Sir' as an after thought while the others laughed at my predicament. I glared at them, silently promising I would get them for that later before allowing Rinoa to lead me out and over to the elevator so we could head down to the main level where the Cactaurs were once again causing havoc. Now, you of course may be wondering how Cactaurs came to be in Balamb in the first place, well it all started a few weeks back when I was having lunch with Rinoa and for one reason or another the topic of conversation had come around to the training centre.

"But Squall, there's so little variation. Surely the students ought to be fighting something more interesting than Bite Bugs, Grats and T-Rexaur?"

"Those monsters provide a suitable example for training purposes. Anything else might be too powerful for students."

She paused for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"What about Cactaurs? They aren't that dangerous, and they would add a bit of variety for the students."

I started to consider it when Rinoa used the 'puppy dog eyes' on me, forcing me to surrender. A few hours later we were aboard the Ragnarock, with Selphie flying us to Cactaur Island to collect some of the small green monsters. As we travelled I kept on trying to rationalise this with myself, looking for some reason for doing this other than that Rinoa had coerced me…again. At last I settled on the fact it was a good idea because battling Cactaurs seems to have a beneficial effect on GFs, no one is exactly sure why but they seem to learn new ability much faster when fighting against them. I did ask Dr Odine about it once…three hour later I had a headache and was no closer to understanding than before.

No, the one thing that everyone knows about Cactaurs is that for some strange reason they don't like battle very much and have this rather irritating tendency to run off when you are trying to hit them. That, coupled with the fact they are unnaturally fast and therefore, almost impossible to hit in the first place unless you have Diablos junctioned makes them a considerable nuisance to fight…more so to capture. In the end we took to using sleep junctioned to our attacks so we could pin them down long enough to capture and load into the specially made container on the Ragnarock. Four hours later we had captured twelve Cactaurs, more than enough in my opinion.

We set off back to Garden, landing on the specially constructed landing pad that had been added and carrying the crate down into the training centre. Once there we let the Cactaurs out, we departed, in need of a rest and a cool drink. About a half an hour later a student had shown up, panicking and saying something about small green creatures running out of the training centre. I got a bad feeling and upon running to investigate sure enough, the Cactaurs were escaping. We spent the next hour trying to round them up and get them back into the training centre. It happened against a few days later; then again a few days after that…including today that makes eight times they've escaped so far.

I swear after today I am going to take them back to Cactaur Island…after that I am more than tempted to have Selphie blow it up with the Ragnarock. I've had enough of their antics to last a lifetime…unfortunately this time the Cactaurs seemed to have gotten wise to most of our schemes and stubbornly refused to be caught. After two hours of fruitlessly chasing them around, we assembled in front of the directory in the main hall, trying to work out a plan. In the end it was Selphie who came up with an idea…the moment I heard those two words together, 'Selphie' and 'plan', I should have run as it might have spared me the embarrassment that was to follow. As it was I was too slow and was soon being hauled away to prepare for 'Operation Jumbo Cactaur'.

When I re-emerged I was dressed in what one could only describe as an over sized Cactaur costume, complete with thin black moustache drawn on, to make me resemble the Jumbo Cactaur we had defeated in order to obtain the Cactaur GF. Now my 'friends', and I use that term very loosely at the moment, led me back to the directory before Selphie instructed me to perform my best 'Cactaur impression' into the microphone she was holding. Groaning I tried to recall what sound it was that the Cactaurs always made before attempting a rather poor rendition.

"Wck wckluk."

At first nothing seemed to happen, and the others urged me to try again.

"Wck wckluk."

Still, nothing. They were about to get me to try a third time when the first of the Cactaurs emerged and approached me wearily. It moved over and stopped in front of me, remaining there for a moment, almost as if it were examining me. Then, without warning it shot forwards and started circling round me while making that same sound over and over again. Soon the other Cactaurs emerged and joined their fellow, now all twelve were circling around me, obviously convinced that I was in fact Jumbo Cactaur returned. I hate to admit it but somehow Selphie's plan had actually worked…now all we have to do is get them to the Ragnarock and back to Cactaur Island. I was about to start off before anyone else could see me when Seifer arrived, Raijin and Fujin training behind.

"Woah! Squall? Since when did our glorious Commander take to dressing up like a monster?"

"FUNNY."

"You look ridiculous, ya know."

Unfortunately for the members of the Disciplinary Committee, the Cactaurs obviously took offence at people insulting their 'leader'. Their eyes collectively narrowed as they advanced on the trio before attacking them with 1,000 needles. This of course prompted the three to run off, the Cactaurs hot on their tails, still throwing needles at them.

"Crap! Squall! Buddy! Pal! Do something!"

"ASSISTANCE!"

"Help us! Ya know!"

For a while I decided it was much more entertaining to let them suffer, before eventually deciding they had enough and calling out to them to run in the direction of the landing pad. They changed direction, the Cactaurs still following closely after them as we hurried along behind. We got ahead, motioning for them to head for the Ragnarock. Once inside they slipped through a hatch as I intercepted the Cactaurs. They calmed noticeably as the door slid shut and we lifted off, heading to take them home. I spend the entirety of the flight amongst them, I'm not sure how exactly but they started to grow on me and by the time we had to unload them I was mildly upset about it.

The Cactaurs seemed to understand and filed off to meet with their brethren, but not before all falling down in unison, almost like a form of 'goodbye'. I returned the gesture, falling flat on my face, before we lifted off once more and returned to Balamb Garden. A few days later I was walking with Rinoa around the main hall, discussing various topics until the conversation came back around to that particular incident.

"Squall, it was so sad when they finally had to leave, you seemed to have gotten quite attached to them."

"Yeah…I'm not sure why but they seemed to grow on me…"

Rinoa smiled.

"Seeing you with them makes me think you'll make a great father…Squall? Where have you gone? Squall?"

At that point I employed something I had picked up from the Cactaurs…

Escaped.

AN: Just a bit of random FFVIII related fun. I spent a while on Cactaur Island fighting to build up my GFs, having the Cactaurs running away from me most of them time. Because of that this idea popped into my head and here we are, a short one shot and a break from all my other stuff.

Hope you enjoyed,

H.

Chapter preread by That Other Guy