"So, Maria, sweetheart, I just want you to remember... the dorms here can get kind of wild, and a little bit out of hand sometimes... well, more than sometimes... and I don't know who your roommates are going to be, but just know that no matter what your roommates might tell you, you don't have to go to every party," Racetrack says, shuffling his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets as he looks around Maria's new dorm room. "Or any parties, really. It's perfectly okay to spend the night in your room, y'know, with a good book or something."

"Daddy, I know you're worried about me, but I'm not going to become a social leper just so you can protect me.." Maria kisses her father on the cheek, closing the last drawer in her dresser. "Besides, how much trouble can I get in while I'm here?"

I smirk, but don't say anything. I just stand with my back against the wall and look back fondly on my days in these dorms.

Racetrack smiles. "I know, but I have to give you The Daddy Speech. It's like official first-day-in-the-dormitory law."

"I'm surprised you haven't changed the student handbook yet. Page one-sixty-two, paragraph four, line seven: 'There will be no touching, looking at, or even thinking about Principal Higgins' daughter.'"

I laugh. "Hey, you know what? That's really not such a bad idea, Race. You know, we've still got time to change the handbooks."

"Don't give him any ideas, Spot," Maria scolds me.

"Spot?" I blink at her. "Since when do you call me Spot? What happened to 'Dad?'"

She shrugs. "Slipped, I guess. Sorry. Dad."

"Well, we'll let you get settled in, and leave you alone so you can meet your roommates without us embarrassing you." Racetrack pulls Maria into a hug and presses his lips to the top of her head, keeping them there for a good ten seconds or so.

"Daddy," she says, rolling her eyes and laughing a little. "You live all of five minutes away from the school and you're the principal... it's not like I'm off at college across the country."

Racetrack pulls away, sighing. "Sorry, princess. It's just... well, you know." He strokes her cheek, shaking his head. "Stop by my office after classes or during lunch or something tomorrow, if you have time, okay?"

"Okay." Maria smiles and turns to me. "Bye, um, Dad."

"Bye, sweetheart." I hug her and kiss her cheek. "Don't stay up too late tonight. Trust me, it's a very bad idea."

"Do you two ever quit?" She ushers us out of the room, saying something to the tune of "I love you" as she closes the door.

Racetrack stands outside the door for a little while, staring. "My baby's in high school. Boarding school."

"Yes, and tomorrow, she'll tell you all about her new boyfriend Spike and his motorcycle and the cocaine habit she just picked up." I grab his arm, pulling gently. "Come on, let's go home to our empty nest, get drunk, and make complete asses out of ourselves, okay?"

He nods sullenly. "Okay."

I lead him out to the car, laughing a little on the inside... but only on the inside. Outside I'm totally serious and understanding. Racetrack is depressed because now his son, Anthony Junior, is in college at Stanford, and Maria is starting her freshman year at Pulitzer's and is required to live in the dormitory, even though Race is the principal there and lives just a few blocks away from the school. Race dotes on Junior and Maria, and so their leaving home is especially hard on him.

"Look on the bright side," I say as I pull into the driveway. "We've got the house to ourselves. Now I can walk around the house bare-ass naked without scaring Junior's girlfriend."

Racetrack just stays silent and climbs out of the car.

"Come on, Race, quit being such a sourpuss." I pinch his cheek and head into the house.

He follows me into the house and shuffles into the living room, plopping down onto the couch with a sigh. "I can't help it. I'm all alone," he says pathetically."

I roll my eyes and smack him in the back of the head. "You're not alone. You got me, you idiot."

"Ow!" Race rubs the back of his head. "You better run, Conlon." He gets up and glares at me.

"Oooh, I'm terrified. Shaking in my boots." I grin mischievously at him. "You'll never catch me, old man."

Race shakes his head and starts to sit down.

"That's right. Sit down, and I'll get you your prune juice, Oldie McOlderton."

Suddenly, he jumps over the back of the couch and charges at me. I take off running, ducking into the bedroom and diving behind the bed.

Race comes in the door. "Come out and play, you bloody coward," he says, walking slowly past the bed.

I grab his ankle and pull him down to the floor beside me.

"Oof!" He lands with a loud thud, glaring at me. "Watch it, Spot! I'm not sixteen anymore, damn it!"

"Right, sorry. I forgot about your hip replacement." I roll my eyes. "Race, we aren't exactly young anymore, but we certainly aren't out of our prime yet. You can quit being Daddy now. You can just be Race."

"I'm gonna be black and blue by the end of the day, thanks to you," he grumbles, rubbing his shoulder and making that pouty face that I love.

"Aww. You want me to kiss it all better?" I push his tee-shirt sleeve up and out of my way and kiss his shoulder, then move up to his neck, kissing his cheeks and ears and forehead. I end at his lips, smiling. "Anything else need kissing?"

He smiles back. "I bet I can think of a few more things."