Once back at the apartment, the kids had changed clothes and were ready to bed. This was Zetsu's cue to tell a terrific bedtime story to the kids before they headed to bed. So, Dimitri climbed on the couch eagerly and Helena was perfectly situated in Deidara's lap. Everyone was actually curious as to what kind of stupid shit Zetsu would come up with.

"Once upon a time there was a….purple snake….yeah a purple snake." Zetsu began. "The snake was a total bitch that screwed up everyone's life."

"Zetsu! You can't say bitch in front of the kids dumb ass!" Kisame yelled at him. Zetsu rolled his eyes.

"Fine! The snake pissed people off and he had a sidekick with an astigmatism."

"Zetsu, what's a stigma…tism?" Dimitri asked.

"He was near sighted!" Zetsu yelled. "Anyway, the snake and his near sighted son of a bitch sidekick were always doing stupid crap and trying to be cool. One time, they came to 8 guys' apartment and crashed a Friday night party. But….Meimara and….Obatchi (Zetsu had changed the names to make the story more believable….right like that was working) were too busy being drunk and making out with the guests to realize that everyone else was suffering!" Zetsu glared at Deidara and Itachi.

"Zetsu! Your'e story is too explicit, yeah! And, it's untrue….I wasn't drunk when I was making out with her, but I was drunk when she put her hands down my…" Zetsu cut Deidara off.

"Oh just hush! Let me finish my story! The kids like it!"

"Yeah! Finish your story Zetsu!" Helena said yawning.

"The purple snake and his sidekick also had an attractive 'project'. He wasn't as hot as his older brother, but he had a lot going for him. The 'project' may be sleeping with the near sighted sidekick, but no one could be completely sure. However, the fact that he has poor taste in clothes leads us to believe that he has some issues…oh and he's small for his age. So anyway, the purple snake bitch and his stupid friends all went on a white water rafting trip and no one came back alive…..the end."

"Wow! Zetsu! You tell the best stories!" Dimitri proclaimed. Deidara scooped the 7 year old up and took her to his bed to let her sleep until the leader and his wife returned home.

Now, the kids were in bed it was time to open up the 12 pack of beer and wait for the leader and his wife for return. It would be the perfect time to get in some quality conversation.

"Deidara, I have to ask. Why do you have such a way with that little girl?" Kisame wanted to know.

"Kisame, I love girls, yeah." Deidara said. Kisame rolled his eyes.

"And they love you….I'm serious! What is it?" Kisame said.

"And I'm serious yeah! My dad was hardly every home when I was little, I was in the house with my mom and Dana all the time…I was the man of the house, yeah! I took care of them! I love them…I love my girls, yeah!" Deidara made a sweet argument and if Itachi weren't already emotional from earlier in the evening, he would have never cried. But, he started crying again.

"I never helped my mom…I always let Sasuke bug her while she did laundry. Stupid Sasuke….he….he…he….ooooooooh….Deidara….hold me…."

"It's okay Itachi, yeah. Let me guess, Sasuke pulled all the laundry out of the laundry basket after your mom got done folding them because you weren't watching him, yeah?"

"How…how….how did you knooooow?" And Itachi cried some more.

"God, he is such a pussy when he gets emotional." Sasori said about itachi rolling his eyes.

"Beacause, Itachi, It was Dana's job to watch me and make sure I didn't do something stupid like that, yeah." Deidara told him.

Well, this wraps up the evening of babysitting. Akatsuki made $120.00 off those two kids…until next year…

Hope you liked it. I know it's a little early for this next fic but I want to make absolutely certain that I have it done by the end of October. So, the next story: Akatsuki Halloween Party