Well, this is it guys. Thanks so much for reading, and for all the feedback. It really does mean a lot. It's been a bumpy ride for these two, but hopefully, they'll get a little peace. It's not like they don't deserve it. At some point, I'll revisit this version of Spashley, but until then...au revoir.
-Mo

"Can we go somewhere?"

"Wha…" Ashley pulled back, bleary eyed, confusion etching itself across her features, "why do we need…" Spencer tried not to laugh as she raised a hand, and pointed to the window of her Victorian Lit class where several girls were theatrically swooning amid the fist pumps and chest thumping of the boys, "oh." Her face flushed crimson red as she pulled her cap down lower.

"Cute," the blonde tapped her lightly on the nose before grabbing her hand, "I'm serious. I want to be alone with you," she leaned closer, her lips brushing against the older woman's ear, "now." She growled.

"Well," she attempted to regain some sense of composure. I'm supposed to be the experienced one, but I swear, if she looks at me like that again…"if you insist."

"Hey, you guys are leaving?" Brad stood with his hands spread apart, mouth hanging slightly open, "for real? Dude, do you have any idea how hard it was to get all those bowling pins? We had to sneak into the place after they closed!" His hands flew to his hips, and he suddenly looked as though he were scolding a group of toddlers, "We could have been arrested, you could at least—"

"Ass-douche," Jon slapped him playfully in the stomach, "leave them alone. You're being a total box block right now."

"Box block? I don't even know what that is." He turned his attention back to the women who were attempting to sneak away, "No way, you guys are going to fucking bowl."

Ashley shot him a look, eyebrow raised, "we are?"

"Fine, go on. Do the lezzie shag, but you owe me a beer."

"No, she doesn't," Spencer placed a protective hand on the brunette's waist.

"You're such a moron," Jon tugged on Brad's shirt, simultaneously waving the two women away, "I'll handle mini-brain," he smiled, "you guys go…ah…catch up."

Ashley flashed him a grateful smile and offered her crooked arm to Spencer with a flourish, "shall we?"

Blue eyes sparkled with laughter, "Oh, I think we shall."

"You two are already making me sick, what the hell am I supposed to do if you start dating?" Brad looked from one to the other, waiting for a response, when Jon's hand connected with the back of his head, sending him stumbling forward.

"Didn't I say leave them alone," he pulled his friend more forcefully, "Man, if I'm about to hook up with a chick and you do that to me, I will eat your future babies."

"Gross," he stuck out his tongue, crossing his eyes as he was led away.

"Wow," Ashley cocked her head to the side as she watched them walk away, "those two are ridiculous."

"You know what else is ridiculous?"

"Hmm?"

"The fact that I should be furious with you for disappearing on me for so long, again, and instead…all I want to do is just, look at you, and hold you…and—"

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"I'm not waiting on anything," Spencer looked up shyly, a slight blush coloring her features, "not anymore."

Ashley scuffed her shoe on the ground, trying not to let the other know just how much those few words meant to her. She reached up shakily to grab her hat, "Spence—"

"No more hiding, okay Ash?" she stopped the hand mid-motion, then spun the cap around, brim backwards, sapphire eyes locking onto golden-browns, trapping them both in a world of their own creation, where it was just the two of them, and nobody else existed, nothing else existed, "it's about time you let me see you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she swallowed hard, "I guess it is," her lips met Spencer's once again, and she had to force herself to keep from scooping the younger woman up in her arms and carrying her away into the distance, "we should really leave. Like right now."

"What do you think," the blonde grabbed her bottom lip between her teeth, "I've been trying to do?"

"Where?"

"I don't care, just take me with you."

***

"How's this?" Warm arms encircled Spencer's waist from behind, and she could feel the chuckle that sounded, low and heavy, in Ashley's chest, as she leaned her head back, drawing in a deep breath of ocean air.

"It's perfect," she couldn't keep the smile that threatened to break out on her face from doing so as they stood on the balcony of the glass house, each lost in their own strangely similar thoughts.

"This doesn't freak you out?"

"What," she spun around, wrapping her arms around Ashley's neck, her head lolling lazily against an offered shoulder, "the fact that I'm quite possibly falling down some never-ending—"

"No," lips found Spencer's ear, nibbling softly, eliciting a guttural moan from the blonde, "the girl part."

"Wait, hold it," blue eyes widened mockingly, "you're a girl? Oh, sweet baby Jesus, woe unto me!"

"Har. Har."

"No, the fact that you're a girl doesn't freak me out…" her voice grew quiet, "the drinking, and lashing out…that freaks me out and I still don't—"

"It won't happen again Spencer. Ever." Ashley's jaw clenched and she tightened her hold, "I promise."

Spencer pulled away, and wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes growing gray and clouded as she looked out over the horizon. Nearly every part of her wanted to believe what she was hearing. That the woman behind her had finally decided to let go of what had been haunting her, to decide to start living again, but…past experiences did nothing to assuage her fears. As much as she wanted to just let go, and fall endlessly into those chocolate browns that watched her with a mixture of pain and trepidation, she just couldn't, not after everything, even if she wanted it, "Ashley," she didn't turn around, and her words almost became lost, picked up by the wind, to be discarded down the coast, tossed upon ears that wouldn't understand what they heard, "you really shouldn't promise things like that…promises that you probably can't keep. It's not fair," she tucked a stray strand of hair behind an ear, before gripping the rail in front of her, white knuckle-tight, "to me…or to you."

"But I can, you have to trust me…"

"Trust you?" She brought her head down to rest in her hands, torn between wanting the comfort that came from Ashley, and wanting to protect herself from what would most definitely be eventual pain, "I trust you…to break…to drink…to hurt me, and yourself, and your friends." She knew the words would cut the other woman deeply, but they needed to be said, and she knew she needed some form of confirmation either way. Needed to know that if she decided, on this day, to walk away, that it was okay…and if she decided to stay…

"Spencer," gently she reached out, and spun the other around, "look at me," her hand went to the trembling chin of the other woman, "really, truly, look at me," and she pulled her cap from her head, ignoring it as it fell from her fingers, sailing from the balcony out to sea, "it won't happen again. None of it, the drinking, the hurting, none of it, can't you tell I've changed?" Ashley desperately wanted to know someone believed in her. "I need to know that everything I went through, all the pain, and suffering, the internalized hatred that I could only release by drowning myself at the bottom of a bottle had been for a reason…and you…you're my reason."

"Ashley…"

"I didn't disappear, Spence, when you walked out," she sighed, swallowing hard before continuing, "on some level, I think I needed you to do that…that month when you didn't hear from me after…I-I was in rehab."

"What," Spencer gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as her eyes searched the pleading browns in front of her, "but, you never said. Why didn't you tell me?"

Her face was hidden by a curtain of mocha hair as she ducked her head, "because," she began in a barely audible whisper, her voice cracked and hoarse, "if I failed…if I didn't make it, I didn't want to disappoint you. I couldn't come back to you a failure, still broken…you," she sighed heavily, head still bowed, "you deserve so much more than someone who will play tug-of-war with your emotions, with your heart," she leaned into the soft hand that gently cupped her cheek, finally daring to look up, knowing her eyes swam with unshed tears, "I just wanted to be worthy of you."

"But you've always—"

Ashley placed a finger over Spencer's lips, silencing her, "no lies, not between us. Not now, not ever again," her hands tangled themselves in the waves of blonde hair that fell across the younger woman's shoulders as she pulled her closer, close enough to notice the flecks of gold and emerald that mingled in the blue of Spencer's eyes, "I love you." There it was, hanging heavily between the two of them, something Ashley never imagined herself ever saying again, to anyone. "You don't have to say anything, I know it's—"

"Did they teach you to talk this much?"

"Huh?"

"In rehab…would you just be quiet," a smile softened the harshness of the words, "I love you, too."

"Say it again." It couldn't be true. Life just didn't turn out this way. People didn't get the things they wanted, not like this. Life was supposed to run a person down, break them into little pieces, but here it was, proving that nothing is as it seems, and just when a person could think it's nothing beyond predictable, "please, say it again."

Spencer placed both hands against Ashley's face, her lips mere inches away from their target, "I." she punctuated each word with a kiss, "love. You."

"You know," Ashley began, as she nuzzled the offered neck before her, "I'm pretty sure you reading that map upside down was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Oh, it was?"

"Yeah…it was."

"Ashley?"

"Hmmm?" The older girl was already imagining the things to come, particularly those in the immediate future, in her bed….

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"I'm pretty sure I can make that happen, for you, Spencer, anything." She turned, heading towards the bedroom, her fingers entwined with the blondes, peaceful contentment and simultaneous excitement for what her life would bring filling her with a giddy energy, "there are definitely some things I need to teach you, Ms. Carlin."

Spencer smirked, "you've got things to teach me?" she breathed, her hand on the hem of her shirt as she began to pull it over her head, kicking the door shut behind them.