Far Away, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Lily and James nor do I own the song.

A/N: I finally fixed my browser to update, I've had this story along with my new chapter for Scent of a Stranger sitting in my documents manager but haven't been able to update because my browser doesn't work on this site. Now I have a new browser and finally got to update. Please Reveiw and Enjoy.

!Warning: I didn't think it was necessary to rate this story M because of the language. So here's a warning, some bad language (F-word, S-word and Bastard and Bitch) You have been warned!

Lily Evans, head girl, briskly walked through the halls of Hogwarts from the Library towards Gryffindor tower with a handful of books in her arms. Her auburn hair billowed behind her while her heels clicked on the stone floor. She stepped onto one of the changing staircases, waiting for it to move.

"Oy, Evans." She heard someone call from behind her. She looked over her shoulder, James Potter, head boy, was hurrying towards her. She sighed loudly hoping that the staircase would move before he got there. She felt the stairs lurch and looked over her shoulder to see James jump onto the stairs just as it separated from the landing.

"What Potter?" Lily asked with her gaze glued to her destination. James stuffed his hands in his pockets as he walked around her so he was facing her instead of the back of her head.

"Well, I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow for the Hufflepuff/ Ravenclaw Quidditch game?" James asked but Lily didn't answer him, so he continued, "And if you weren't I thought you could be my date."

Lily sighed, "No." She said simply and walked passed him as the stairs locked into place. James didn't follow her. Lily gave the password to the Fat Lady and continued her brisk walk through the common room, up to her dorm room.

Lily was glad the room was empty; she wanted to be alone. Lily tossed her books on her bed and sat on the edge of it, bracing herself up on her hands. She was disappointed in herself she missed another opportunity. It was hard to break old habits but she wanted to and it was turning out harder then she thought. Lily pushed herself off the bed; she stripped off her black school robe as she walked towards the bathroom, letting it pile on the floor in her wake. Her fingers worked on the buttons of her blouse while she pushed the bathroom door closed with her foot. She waved her wand, the water started in one of the shower stalls and Lily finished undressing. Lily stepped into the shower, letting the water run down her front before turning around to wet her hair. She leaned against the wall, conditioner still in her hair, thinking of ways to fix her problems; she couldn't just jump into this, she rebelled against it for three years now, only because she didn't think she was old enough to be in a relationship but her chances were narrowing down and soon there won't be any at all. Lily didn't want to regret never following her heart because she was too hard headed. So she decided to be subtle and take baby steps.

Lily, along with her other dorm mates, was getting dressed for the Quidditch game. It was a cool autumn October day, perfect conditions for Quidditch, or at least Lily thought so; she never really kept close tabs on Quidditch but she assumed from the clear conditions and minimal wind, that those were good conditions. She pulled on a pair of tight dark blue jeans and white hoodie with a red camisole underneath. After she pulled on her shoes, it was time to put her plan into action. She quickly walked out of her dorm room, she stood at the bottom of the boy's stairs, staring up at them before she took a deep breath and started up them to the seventh year dorm. She politely knocked, nervousness building with every second she waited.

"I'll get it." She heard someone yell before the door was pulled open. Sirius stood before her, buttoning up his black shirt, "Oh, Evans." He was confused and Lily didn't blame him, who would have thought Lily Evans would be knocking at the Marauders' door.

"Um…is James here?" She asked ringing her hands.

"Yeah come on in." Lily followed him as he picked up some of the clothes that was in the immediate entry to the room and tossed them onto the closest bed. The room was just as Lily pictured it would be, clothes laid askew along with books, beds weren't made and closets didn't close.

"Oy Prongs, you have a visitor." Sirius called as he made his way into the bathroom while Lily stood in the middle of the room. James came around the corner towel drying his hair with another towel around his waist as Sirius calmly walked passed him. James stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Lily standing in the middle of the room; her cheeks slowly turning pink as her eyes roamed from his face down his body. She quickly turned around and James quickly ducked back into the bathroom.

"Padfoot you bastard." Lily heard James say and Sirius's bark like laugh echoed. Lily was contemplating leaving and started to take a few steps towards the door when James walked back in pulling a sleeveless shirt over his head.

"Lily, I'm so sorry." James apologized quickly.

"It's okay." Lily said, discreetly drying her sweating hands on her pants, "Uh…James, I was wondering since it's kind of chilly outside and I can't find my scarf…I was wondering if I could borrow yours." Lily finally managed to spit out the whole sentence.

"Yeah." James said and hurrying over to his dresser and pulled out his red and gold scarf.

"Thanks so much." Lily said as she wrapped it around her neck, "I guess I'll see you at the match, then."

"Y-yeah." James said, still trying to process the last few minutes. Lily quickly turned on her heels and left.

Lily was sitting in the middle row of the stands, she wasn't sitting with anyone but she wasn't alone on the bench. The stands were starting to fill up around her and Lily was starting to get nervous. She was playing with the scarf around her neck, watching the stands across from her fill up in green.

"Do you mind if we sit here?" A voice asked behind her.

"Go ahead." She said after she turned to find James and his friends standing on the bench behind her. James sat next to her, Sirius next t him then Remus then Peter- the four rarely went anywhere alone. The rest of Gryffindor started arriving, squishing everyone together; Lily's thigh was rubbing against James's. The announcer started to introduce the Ravenclaw team, blue blurs flew passed the stands; Hufflepuff was being announced while yellow blurs flew above.

"So who do we want to win?" Lily asked leaning closer to James.

"Hufflepuff, because then Ravenclaw will start the season in last place which is better for us." James said, "But it doesn't really matter, what we have to worry about is the Slytherin team." Lily nodded as he talked, pretending to be interested and to understand. James laughed, he could tell she really didn't get it or wasn't really interested, "Just cheer for Hufflepuff. They're the ones in yellow."

"I know that." Lily laughed, pushing James with her shoulder.

Lily cheered when James did, booed when he did and jumped to her feet when he did and after all of that, she still didn't know who won the match.

"So are we going to kick Slytherin's butt next week?" Sirius asked James as they made their way from the pitch to the castle.

"But of course." James said.

"Good because I got twenty galleons on us to win it." Sirius said and James shoved him.

"Betting on your own house, there's some real good house spirit." Lily added.

"See Evans gets it; it's all about house pride and so what if I make a little money off it." James and Remus snorted.

"Oh here James, I almost forgot." Lily said on the stone steps and unraveling the scarf from around her neck.

"No I want you to wear it…I mean if you can't find yours, you should keep mine." James said quickly, pushing the scarf back in her hands. Lily tried to control her growing smile.

"Thanks." She said quietly before hurrying into the castle.

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,

you know, you know

It's the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year and everyone who was eligible to go to Hogsmeade was there; Honeydukes had a line out the door, Zonkos had a constant flow of students and the Three Broomsticks had no open seats. Lily pushed her way through the crowd, trying her best to get to the counter. She was lucky that Rosemerta saw her right away, she got her butterbeer before the other students crowding around the counter.

"Oy Evans." She searched the crowd trying to figure out who called her. James was waving for her to come over to his table. The four Marauders had one of the best booths in the pub, Lily couldn't fathom how they managed that.

"Hey." She said timidly, clutching her butterbeer. The boys had three bottles in front of them, each.

"Want to sit down? Take a load off." Standing up to let her slide in. Lily shrugged and slid into the booth.

"It's crowded, huh?" Lily said before taking a swig from her butterbeer.

"Yeah, it seems like the whole school is here." Sirius said looking around the pub.

"I think I've even see some second and first years." Lily said, "I wish I knew how to get out when I was their age."

"Well, it was nice chatting with you all but I have a date with a leggy Ravenclaw." Sirius after he finished off his third butterbeer, "I will see you all later." He said before disappearing into the crowd.

"I haven't had any Honeydukes chocolate in a long time." Peter said from the other side of Lily, "So if you don't mind." Lily scooted into James and they both slid out of the booth.

"How are you doing, Remus?" Lily asked Remus after she and James resettled into their side of the booth.

"Good, no full moon for another month." Remus told her, shaking his butterbeer bottle to see if there was anything left, "Well, that's all for me. I have to make it over to Scrivenshaft's for some more ink and Zonkos. I'll see you two later." Remus slid out of the booth and James move from Lily's side to opposite side of the table.

"I guess I should be going." Lily said as she finished her butterbeer. She quickly climbed out of the booth but James grabbed her wrist.

"Will you meet me at the lake at midnight tonight?" He asked, climbing out of the booth. It was another chance, Lily wanted to take it but she was debating whether to or not. She didn't know why she couldn't just say yes like she wanted to.

"Uh…yeah…okay." Lily said.

Lily stood in front of the full length mirror in her dorm room staring at herself; she had on a dark navy hoodie zipped up to just reveal the tiniest bit of cleavage and a pair of tight light-washed jeans. She was debating whether or not to still go, it was already 12:07. Lily took a deep breath and slipped on a pair of sandals, heading out the door. She hurried through the halls, hoping not to run in to any Professors or Filch but she was prepared to tell them that she was just patrolling, even though it was a little late. She skipped the last few steps into the Entrance Hall, pushing the doors opened and started her dash across the lawn. James had just gotten to his feet and started folding up the blanket that he had been laying on; his head hung and his shoulders were slouched.

"James." Lily called as she got closer. James's head shot up, "I'm so sorry." Lily said when she got to him.
"I didn't think you were coming." James said dropping the folded blanket.

"I know, I'm so sorry. Forgive me." Lily said.

"I'm not mad. You have nothing to apologize for." James said, "I'm just glad you came." He picked up the blanket and spread it out again, "After you." He said holding out a hand towards the blanket. Lily's eyes followed his hand to the blanket then back to him, her eyebrow cocked.

"Potter." She said in a low voice.

"No, it's nothing fishy. Trust me." James said then lay down on the blanket. Lily gave him one more suspicious look before sitting down on the blanket next to him, "No, no…you have to lay down." James sat up and lightly pushed down on her shoulders, Lily resisted at first but eventually gave in. She lay down and looked over at James; he pointed up the sky. Lily looked away from him and stared up at the sky. It was clear and there was no moon but a billions of twinkling stars; Lily was just about to turn to James and ask him if she was suppose to be seeing something special, when she saw it, a shooting star. Then another and another, it was like they were raining in the sky.

"Wow." Lily whispered as she watched the stars; it was a never ending storm of them. She scooted over to cuddle up next to James, she laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her.

"That was so amazing." Lily said, propping herself up on her hands and hovering over James.

"I thought you would like it." James told her with a smile to match hers.

"How did you know about it?" Lily asked.

"I read it in the Quibbler." He said propping himself up and Lily sat back on her butt.

"You read that." Lily asked shocked.

"Yeah, it's very informative." James said, trying to hold back a laugh but he couldn't, "It's getting late, we should get inside."

"It was late when we came out here." Lily took his extended hand, he helped her up. James picked up the blanket before they the two headed up towards the castle. The castle was dark and a little eerie when it was pitch quiet.

"This is strange." Lily said hearing her echo.

"I never thought it was ever this quite in this place." James said as the walked up the white marble stairs from the Entrance Hall. James stopped suddenly when they reached the landing.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, stepping behind James to shield herself.

"I think I hear someone." He held his finger to lips for silence. They both strained their ears to listen to the silence until they heard the shuffling of feet, "This way." James grabbed her hand and took off away from the sound until they came to a tapestry, which they ducked behind. Lily did her best to keep up with James as he held her hand tightly and ran through the passage that he dragged her in. They emerged through another tapestry on the seventh floor, just a few steps away from the portrait of the Fat Lady. James kept Lily's hand in his and Lily didn't object as they made their way to the Fat Lady.

"How did you know about that secret passage?" Lily asked as they stepped over the threshold into the common room.

"Nobody knows this castle better then me, well me and Sirius." He said; Lily nodded, "And Remus." Lily nodded again, "And Peter."

"Anyone else?" Lily asked.

"Uh…" James said, pretending to think, "No, I think that's it." James still had Lily's hand in his.

"Thanks." Lily said.

"For what?" He asked.

"Tonight; I had fun." Lily smiled sweetly. She slipped her hand from his and hurried up the stairs with one more glance back at James.

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

Lily quickly slipped into Transfiguration, dropping her stuff on the desk next to James. In potions, she offered to partner with him and agreed to do their charms essay together tomorrow night. She was doing her best not to yell at him or argue; it was turning out easier then she thought, which wasn't a surprised since she did like him but wasn't mature enough to have a relationship but Lily was doing her best to fix everything she screwed up on.

After dinner, Lily was wandering the halls after returning a book to the library when Sirius appeared from seemingly nowhere.

"I've been looking for you Evans." He said stuffing a piece of parchment in his pockets.

"Where did you come from?" Lily asked startled.

"Magic." He said smartly.

"Oh one of those secret passages." Lily said putting her hands on her hips with a smug smile.

"I need to talk to you." Sirius said walking up to Lily, grabbing her by her upper arm and walking her down the corridor. He pulled her into a comfy room that Lily had never known existed.

"Black, what do you think you are doing?" Lily asked, ripping her arm out of his grip.

"We need to talk." He said seriously.

"About what?" Lily said sitting on the couch.

"James." Sirius sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Nothing is wrong. I want to know what you think you are doing?"

"What am I doing?"

"Don't play dumb with me Evans. If you are just stringing James along for a laugh, you better give it up now because if you hurt him I wont be afraid to make your life a living hell." Sirius said in a deathly low voice.

"I'm not." Lily said quickly, "Really, I'm not."

"He really does like you, so don't play him like a fool." Sirius said before getting to his feet, "No one will ever love you like James does, you'll do well not to forget that." He left. Lily sat in shock, contemplating Sirius's last words; if anyone knew James then it was Sirius.

Lily was surprised when she saw James sitting at one of the tables in the library when she went to look for a book. She grabbed the book off the shelf before she headed over to James's table. He was hunched over a book, his fingers scanning the book before he quickly wrote down what he read, his finger still holding his place.

"Hey." Lily said bouncing on her heels, the book clasped in front of her.

"Hey." James said quickly, then went back to his parchment to finish what he was writing, "Sorry, I'm just trying to finish this."

"Oh, don't worry about it." Lily said, dropping the book to her side, "I just wanted to say hello. I'll let you finish."

"Are you patrolling tonight?" James asked looking up from his essay.

"Yeah, did you want to patrol with me?" Lily asked.

That night at nine, Lily headed out of her dorm and up the stairs to the seventh year boy's dorm room. Lily was about to knock when the door opened.

"Bye James, same time next week." The girl in the doorway said into the room.

"I can't wait." Lily heard James's voice.

"Oh." The girl said when she turned to find Lily standing behind her, "Excuse me." The brunette said as she walked passed Lily. Lily's mouth hung opened as she watched the brunette walk down the stairs towards the common.

"Ready Lily?" James said, drawing her attention away from the girl.

Lily snorted, "You can patrol on you own." Lily said before turning on her heel, walking away. Lily heard the door click shut and James hurry after her.

"Lily, wait. Lily." James called after her, until he finally caught up with her in the common room and grabbed her wrist to stop her, "Lily, what's going on?"

"What's going on?" Lily gasped, "I'm tired of your shit, Potter." James looked utterly confused at Lily's sudden outburst; they had been getting along so well these pasts few weeks and he was just about to ask her out.

"Lily, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about." James said.

"Of course you wouldn't, Potter, because you're a bastard." Lily said, "All you care about is getting laid and you'll do whatever to get laid." Lily yelled. James was still very confused, he opened his mouth to say something but Lily cut him off, "Just when I thought you had changed, I see the truth. So that brunette is actually good enough that you'll do her again, wow, is that a first?" James finally realized where Lily's outburst was coming from.

"Lily, you don't understand." James said, frantically taking her hands, "I'm…"

Lily ripped her hands out of James's, "I don't what to hear any of your bullshit. Don't every talk to me again; don't every look at me. Just don't ever come near me again." Lily yelled, tears welling up in her eyes before she ran out of the common room. James stood frozen in spot, staring at the portrait hole; he wanted to go after her, to make her listen and understand but he knew her better then she knew and he knew that going after her wasn't going to help him any.

Lily ran through the halls, not caring where she was running, she just ran. Tears ran down her cheeks and clouded her vision. She ran, and ran and bumped into someone about two floors below Gryffindor Tower but she didn't stop. Lily ran until she was out of breath and had to stop. She was on the third floor; she slouched against the wall, sliding to the floor. She started to regain herself; she angrily wiped her tears away. She was mad at herself for being so upset.

James was starting to regain himself, when the portrait hole opened and James perked up but quickly returned to sulking when Sirius walked into the common room. James slowly turned from him, dragging his feet towards the stairs.

"James, mate." Sirius called, lightly jogging to him, "I just saw Lily; she seemed really upset." James shrugged, "What happened?" Sirius said grabbing James's shoulders and turning him to look at him.

"It ended up like normal." James said dryly, "I should have known." James gave him a half smile, "She'll never give me a real chance." James shrugged Sirius's hands off his shoulders and continued up the stairs to his dorm. Sirius watched him walk up the stairs, disappearing around the corner before he pulled out a piece of parchment from his back pocket.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." Sirius whispered; he glanced over the parchment before shoving it back in his pocket and hurrying out of the common room.

Lily had cried herself to exhaustion; her head was resting on her knees and her arms were wrapped around her knees, pining her legs to her chest. Lily was trying to stabilize her breathing while her forehead rested against her kneecaps when someone gripped her by her upper arms and pulled to her feet. Lily's head shot up and she was met with a pair of dark-grey eyes. Lily took a step back when she realized Sirius stood before but the wall behind her trapped her.

"You stupid bitch. What the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius growled.

"With me? You are asking the wrong person that question." Lily said defiantly.

"I don't think so." Sirius said, gripping her arms tighter, "I thought you said that you weren't playing him."

"I wasn't; he was playing me." Lily whimpered.

Sirius snorted and lightly threw her away from him, "I know that's bullshit. That boy worships you." He said, "For some reason I still don't understand." He added and Lily gaped at him, "Now, what is it you think he did that has you so pissy?" Sirius changed from rage to annoyance; he added extra stress on think.

"The girl that I know he is screwing." She added extra stress on know.

"What girl?"

"The brunette that I saw coming out of his room." Lily said.

"Oh the fifth year Hufflepuff he is tutoring in Transfiguration." Sirius said; Lily's mouth slowly gaped opened.

"What?" She asked slowly.

"He's tutoring her." Sirius said slowly, still annoyed with her, "He started tutoring her last week by McGonagall's request." Lily looked deep in thought and a smug smile began to creep across Sirius's face as he watched his words sink into Lily. Sirius left Lily deep in thought. Lily slid to the floor again.

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

'Cause you know,

You know, you know

The sun was just coming over the horizon, when Lily finally made it back to the common room; she couldn't go back last night, she felt like a complete idiot and just as Sirius put it, a stupid bitch. She screwed up bad this time and Lily didn't believe that she could fix it this time. Lily truly learned the repercussions of her actions in her first class.

Lily was slowly making her way to Transfiguration, when she turned the corner to her class; hazel met emerald for a split second. Lily perked up when she saw James, standing outside the classroom with the other Marauders. Sirius was in mid-conversation when James walked passed him into the classroom; Lily saw Sirius's shocked expression as James blew passed him into the classroom. Lily stopped in her tracks when Sirius looked at her then he too walked into the classroom. James and his friends were in their normal seats in the back of the classroom.

"Hey." Lily said quietly, stopping at James's seat. He didn't even turn to look at her or acknowledge her presence, his gaze stayed locked at the front of the classroom. Lily felt her heart wrench as she turned away from him, continuing to her normal seat in the front of the classroom.

Lily had never skipped any class in her six and half years at Hogwarts but after Transfiguration she couldn't go to another class. She took refuge in the clearing in the Forbidden Forest; she was alone in her thoughts. It was all her fault, she had had so many chances but never took any of them and now all she has is what if. What if she had gone out with him the first time two years ago? What would life be like now? What would life be after Hogwarts with him? Lily doodled in the dirt with a stick while she answered the questions that ran through her head. She's a stupid woman; a very stupid woman that needs to fix this.

The rest of the week was hell. James didn't relinquish his effort to ignore her. Lily walked slowly down the main street of Hogsmeade while other students ran around her joyously. She absentmindedly kicked a rock in until she kicked it into someone's foot.

"Sorry." Lily mumbled as she looked up from his feet to his face; she was finally face to face with him after a week of trying to get his attention. He just stared at her; Lily looked into his hazel eyes and saw nothing. His eyes were empty and that brought tears to her eyes. James Potter always had sparkle of life and mischievous in his eyes, now his eyes were a hollow shell; much like her own.

"Hey." Lily finally managed to say.

"Jamesie, there you are." A giggly voice said as beautiful brunette, that Lily recognized as Ravenclaw seventh year, wrapped herself around James's arm, "Oh, hey Lily. How are you?"

"Uh…" Lily racked her brain for the girl's name, "Good, Sam. How are you?"

"Good, good." Sam said, "James, do you want to go to Honeydukes to get some sweets?" James nodded, his eyes still on Lily, "I guess I'll see you later then Lily. Bye."

"Bye." Lily mumbled as they walked away. Lily growled and kicked the rock hard and watched it bounce down the street.

"As much as he'll try, he'll never replace you in his heart." A voice said in her ear, making her jump. Lily whipped around to find Sirius close behind her with Remus.

"What?" Lily asked.

"You heard me." He sang as he walked passed her with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"He will never stop loving you." Remus said as he followed Sirius passed her.

"Stop saying that." Lily cried stomping her foot.

"Saying what?" Sirius asked.

"Telling me that he loves me." She cried, starting to draw a crowd. Lily looked around at the crowd before she grabbed Sirius's and Remus's wrists and pulling them off the man street, "He's fucking seventeen years old and never had a conversation about something other then school with me, he doesn't love me." Lily continued once they were away from crowd.

"You have to believe me, he does." Sirius said as he leaned against the wall.

"How? How could he possibly?" Lily asked throwing up her hands.

"How do you love him?" Sirius asked.

Lily gaped at him, "I don't love him." Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "I don't. I do really like him and want to be with him but I don't think its love." Sirius shrugged.

"Then be with him." Sirius said simply.

"How? He wont talk to me or even look at." Lily said.

"He's only doing what you told him to do." Sirius said, causally walking around her.

"You have to make him talk to you Lily." Remus said, "He does want to." Remus gave her a small smile and Sirius gave her smirk before they integrated with the crowd on the main street.

The clock struck ten; Lily was sitting in the common room waiting for James to finish his patrol. She was very antsy and couldn't sit still; the wait was starting to kill her. She finally heard the squeak of the portrait hole and jumped to her feet. James stopped in his tracks and stared wide eyed at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Lily said walking around the couch to him, "Can we talk?"

"If you want." It was the first time he had talked to her in over a week. He walked over to the couch and propped his feet up on the table after he sat down. Lily stood rooted in spot before she followed him to the couch.

"How was patrol?" Lily asked.

James shrugged, "Fine."

"Look, I wanted to talk to you." Lily admitted.

"Okay."

"I…I…I love you." Lily blurted out then quickly covered her mouth

"What?" James asked sitting up, while Lily chewed on her fingernail.

"I didn't mean to say that." Lily said.

"Oh." James said, and then slowly got to his feet.

"But it doesn't mean I don't mean it." Lily said grabbing his wrist, "I just didn't mean to just blurt it out." She gently pulled him back onto the couch, "I screwed up, not just once but I want to fix everything. I've been a real idiot. I just wasn't ready for a relationship; we were too young. I felt too young. I'm sorry. I just want you to forgive me for the grief I put you through." Lily didn't know what else to say; she shut her mouth just in case she blurted anything else out. Lily waited for James to say anything but he wasn't. He ran his hand through his hair a few times and looked around the room, trying to find something to say. Lily started to get worried, "Please, say something." James opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He took Lily's face in his hands and kissed her. Lily didn't respond at first, she was too shocked but before she even realized, she was kissing him back until he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers with her face still in his hands.

"I'll always forgive you." James whispered, "I love you too and I've waited too long to tell you."