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Guardian Angel

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Five steps forth, sharp left turn, five steps back, left turn, five forth, turn right for a change, five back, turn…

"John!"

He immediately stopped pacing, his head snapped up and he turned haunted hazel eyes to Elizabeth Weir.

She granted him a soft indulgent smile. "Don't wear out the carpet…"

He didn't comment on the infirmary's obvious lack of carpet, because that particular piece of snark would be infinitely better if delivered by McKay.

Yes, he'd reserve it for McKay. Because, damn it, the stupid son of a bitch was NOT going to die! Not on John's watch…

Elizabeth's smile faltered, giving way to worry lines again.

John hated to see her like this, so weary and fragile looking. Gone was the self-assured expedition leader that could negotiate any treaty, even between the worst of Neanderthals. But she couldn't negotiate with death. Just like he couldn't shoot, demolecularize or otherwise obliterate the Grim Reaper.

He hated feeling so helpless.

If there was just something for him to do. Fetch a sample of a poison, beat some villagers to pulp for an antidote, beam into a Goa'uld mother ship to steal a sarcophagus…

A hand on his arm pulled him from his jumbled thoughts.

"You did good, John." Elizabeth didn't smile this time, but he could read the gratitude in her eyes.

He hated gratitude he didn't deserve.

He looked away. "I wasn't fast enough. I should have realised the guide was a nut. I should never have let Rodney alone with him. I should have…"

Elizabeth firmly interrupted him: "You should have responded to the child's call for help. You should have saved a little defenceless boy from a deathly predator. You should have returned to Rodney immediately after making sure the child was safe. You should have performed first aid and applied pressure bandages. You should have carried Rodney all the way to the gate as fast as you could. You should have saved his life…"

Intense green eyes captivated his, sincerity written plainly within their depths. "You should have done all those things… And you did, John…"

"Except the last one…" He whispered, swallowing difficulty past a choked up throat.

Elizabeth quietly shook her head, but whatever retort she'd been about to deliver was stopped short by doors hissing open.

"Carson?" Two voices begged as one, balancing between hope and dread.

The physician smiled broadly in response.

Elizabeth dropped heavily back into one of the chairs, and John casually leaned against the wall for a minute until the giddiness-induced light-headedness had faded.

Although everything they really needed to know had already been conveyed, Carson went on to giving them a brief summary of McKay's condition.

John couldn't focus entirely. He let Elizabeth do the nodding and smiling, while his gaze was drawn to a curtained off section of the infirmary visible behind Carson's back.

A nurse appearing from behind the privacy screens caught his look and waved him in invitingly.

He didn't really look at her, had only the faintest notion that she was very pretty when he briefly thanked her in passing, his eyes never really leaving his intended goal.

And then, he cleared the screen, and his heart jumped up joyfully when two dazed blue eyes groggily blinked up at him.

"Rodney…" John grinned from ear to ear.

His friend granted him one of his rare smiles conveying genuine happiness.

And John's grin stretched by another centimetre.

Fighting a heroic battle against drug-induced sleepiness, Rodney blinked furiously, trying to put his jumbled up thoughts into words. "Thank you, for saving me… again…" His eyelids were clearly starting to loose their fight with gravity.

John's grin disappearing faster than antimatter annihilating however alerted the drowsy genius and he battled valiantly to keep coherent for just a few more seconds.

"John."

The use of his first name, as well as the gentle un-McKay like tone in which it had been said, got John's undivided attention.

"Is no' your fault." Rodney slurred. "Blame fate…"

The relief Rodney's admission brought finally allowed him to see the situation clearly. Rodney didn't blame him. If a genius thought he couldn't have acted any other way, then who was a lowly air force goon to think otherwise…

John's grin returned full force as he watched Rodney drift off.

"You have a remarkable guardian angel, Rodney…" He shook his head.

Rodney's whisper was very faint, but reached his ears anyway. "You're my guardian angel…"

"Children and fools have the best, or so they're saying!" Carson huffed exasperatedly from behind John, obviously having heard only John's remark. The doctor bustled around the now soundly sleeping scientist's bed for a bit, adjusting already fine-tuned IV's and triple checking read-outs that were perfectly normal for a recovering body, needing confirmation that his friend was still alive just as much as John did.

Somewhat bored after watching Beckett check the heart monitor for the fourth time, John glanced around the infirmary.

"Hey, doc, who was that pretty new nurse that allowed me in, I might have to invite her for dinner, show her around…"

Carson looked up, nonplussed. "What new nurse, son? Betty Kent's the only nurse on duty here, and I've send Mae to check on Kavanaugh's b… ehm, Kavanaugh's injury."

John frowned. "I know Betty and Mae, and neither of them was the nurse that waved me in…"

Blinking fast several times, Carson managed to look utterly confused. "No one waved you in, son. I first wanted to call you back when you suddenly darted past me, but, well, even wild horses wouldn't have kept you from Rodney's bed for long…" The Scottish doctor narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized John's face. "Maybe you ought to get some rest, too. Dragging Rodney for 20 minutes straight isn't exactly benefiting your muscles, never mind the emotional fall-out."

The conveniently nearby bed that Carson patted invitingly suddenly looked extremely enticing.

With a huge yawn, John settled himself, lying comfortably on his side, watching his sleeping friend while he started to doze off himself.

He was vaguely aware of Carson finishing his check-up on Rodney, and disappearing into his office. Morpheus was ready to catch him in his arms, when John opened bleary eyes for one final glance to reassure him that Rodney was still fine.

And there she was. The pretty nurse. Staying vague despite his attempts to focus. Bending over Rodney and softly pressing a kiss to his forehead. Feeling John's gaze, she looked up and smiled at him. Her smile was radiant like light, light that enveloped her, made her seem ethereal…

For a fleeting moment John got a distinct impression of giant wings folding open to form a protective cocoon around Rodney's bed, warding off any evil, then the woman's image faded and his eyes fell closed.

John finally gave in to the beckoning slumber, knowing that things would turn out to be all right. Because Rodney had more guardian angels than he might know.

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AN:

Some cross-references for those interested: Betty is the nurse from 'Primum Non Nocere', Kavanaugh's b… accident is described in 'Light'.

About the 'angel', you can decide for yourself whether you'd like her to be 'real' or not. Who knows, she may be just John's dream or an ascended ancient ... She might even have been there in a certain sinking puddle jumper...