Hidden
Two weeks.
They didn't talk, call or even look at each other as they passed by the hallway. But he would see her. She would pretend to be cheerful with Bevin, but her eyes would betray her. Only he knew how to read her eyes.
She would see him. He would pretend to laugh and give Brooke his undivided attention, but she would always see his eyes straying to some random object, something Brooke wouldn't notice. She would turn away painfully as he gives her a peck on the cheek before walking out the school doors.
Cooper had just died two weeks ago. The accident was still in everyone's minds, especially his. He remembered how he lost Keith—all of the anger, sadness and hatred poured back into him. He would act like nothing was wrong when he was with Brooke, because he knew that he would never let her in. Even though he wanted to so badly, there will always be that voice preventing him to say anything.
The moon was radiant and beautiful as he tossed and turned around in bed. He couldn't keep this all inside, he needed someone—he needed her.
Quietly, he picked up the keys to Karen's car and headed out the door. He would go to the one place that made him feel like a normal, seventeen-year old boy, not a man bearing all of the troubles of the world. He loved Brooke; he did. But there was always that indescribable feeling whenever he was with her. She made him feel safe.
The glow from the sky cast a shadow as he heard his footsteps on the sand. The waves were crashing against the shore and almost immediately he felt at ease. It was then that he heard her voice.
"Luke?" She asked softly. He turned around and smiled at her.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked. She laughed nervously. There was a silence between them. Usually they were used to moments of silence, it was when they would be sitting next to each other, listening to the water. Or when the words couldn't quite place what they want to convey. She would lean on his shoulders and he would put his arms around her, and just listen to the silence. But this time it was different.
"I have to go." She said hastily. She couldn't stay here with him, not with all of the memories flooding back to her. She willed for the tears not to fall. She walked away briskly. Lucas sighed and walked after her.
"We can't stay like this, Peyton." He said, her pace quickening with every step. "Why are you avoiding me?" Peyton stopped walking and turned around to face him.
"Brooke's your girlfriend. I don't want you to lose her because of me." She answered, her voice breaking. "You love her, Lucas." She said weakly.
"You know what Brooke said to me during the reception?" He asked. "She asked me to let her in."
"So do it." Peyton replied.
"I can't." He looked at her somberly. "Please don't let me go, Peyton. I need you."
Peyton felt hot tears sting her eyes and fall freely down her face. She wiped them away quickly. "That's unfair to her." She said.
"You are the only person I could talk to. The only person I could share my true self with. The only person who knows me for who I am, all of the betrayal, the angst and the secrets. You, and no one else. " He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. "Cooper just died, Peyt. And for the past two weeks, all I could do about that was," He paused, trying to regain composure. He couldn't. "The pain's back, and I don't know how to handle it without you."
Without thinking, Peyton put her arms around Lucas and let herself comfort him. He was crying; he never cried in front of Brooke, only with Peyton. He told her about the hate and the resentment. She listened to him as he cursed fate for depriving him of a father. As he cursed fate for not giving him what he deserved. She listened and cried with him too, silently. She cried because she knew that tomorrow, it was Brooke's hand he would be holding. Brooke's lips he would kiss. Brooke's company he would be with.
After all of the sadness, he smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. "I don't know what I'll do without you."
"They'd probably send you to a shrink because of all your brooding," She joked, "Then you'll be deemed emotionally insane and put in an asylum."
"I missed you, Peyton." He answered, laughing gently. His words stung her. She knew that he would never mean them the way she wanted them to be meant.
"Oh, and did you know?" Peyton asked, veering away from all of the seriousness. "Rachel's pregnant."
Relief washed over him, as he smiled his first genuine smile in two weeks. The moon was casting a soft glow as they heard the waves crash, as they sat there, arms around each other. A thought passed him by; he could do this forever, just holding her, the girl he would forever love but can never be with. The girl he'd give his life for, because he knew that she would for him. She put her walls down and let him in, when she wouldn't do that with anyone else. But his heart belonged to Brooke, he remembered, feeling guilt. He hid it with a smile.
There were still some things he could hide from her.
She looked up at him, and saw in his eyes that he was distracted for a moment, probably because of Brooke. But she had always been selfish, so she let it pass. She loved him, and he was holding her, and that was all that mattered right now.
There were still some things she could hide from him.
But not very well, as he felt something stirring in him, like an old emotion when he looked into her eyes…