Unmet Expectations

"Okay let's keep him breathing!"

Dr. Abby Lockhart was in shock at the scene before her. Doctors and nurses, most of whom she knew fairly well, colleagues, even friends, were rushing about at a frantic pace all around the room, some barking orders and some fulfilling them in a rigid panic. Trying desperately to save the life of a premature baby. Her baby. Him. Kerry said let's keep him breathing. A boy. Her son. Their son. Where was Luka?

"Sam?" Abby spoke to one of the nurses, who was rushing around trying to get a NICU incubator and IVs and lung-surfactant into the child. "Don't worry Abby, he'll be fine. Just rest so you can be strong for him when the time comes okay?" Sam offered a reassuring smile to Abby and then went back to working to keep the child as stable as possible until he could be transferred to the NICU.

"Where's Luka?" Abby looked around the room still disoriented, shifting and organizing in her mind the familiar faces she saw around her, maybe she missed him in the crowd. No. He wasn't there. He was missing this: the birth of their son and the frantic measures to keep him alive. "Luka…." Abby looked around the room, still not remembering the events in the ER earlier that day, or the scene that she had been met with while retrieving supplies from another trauma room.

"He'll be awake soon sweetie and we'll tell him exactly what's going on." Said Dr. Axelrod, Abby's obstetrician, who was on call that day luckily and was there to oversee the care of the baby. "Awake?" Abby was still confused. She'd lost consciousness prior to the premature delivery of her child, and was still trying to recollect the moment beforehand, all the while keeping a close watch on her baby and the care he was given, though she trusted these people immensely. "Sam's friend got him pretty good. Shot Jerry, and chained Luka to a gurney and injected him with something. He's stable though… he'll be fine." Sam turned her attention to Abby as the NICU nurse moved the baby to the next floor for the time being. "You rest, and when you wake up, he'll be back and the two of you can see your baby."

"Is he okay?" Abby turned to Dr. Axelrod now. "He's stable… we're taking him to the NICU for tests and observation. Do you two have a name picked out?" Jenna Axelrod turned to her colleague and patient and smiled to the younger doctor.

"Josip." Abby smiled with a definitive nod. "Josip Eric Daniel Wyzcenski Kovac."

Sam came in to check on Abby an hour later. "How are you doing?" "I'm tired, but I'm alright. I want to see him…" "Which one?" Sam asked with an understanding smile. "Both." "Well, Luka's holding his own. Kerry says it won't be much long until he's likely to be awake. And Josip's having some tests done. You can see him in about an hour." Abby nodded. "A long name. He's going to take up two legal documents all said and done." "Huh?" Abby blinked as she turned to Sam with some confusion. "Josip Eric Daniel Wyzcenski Kovac. Quite a mouthful. Throw in a confirmation name and---" "Confirmation name?" Abby blinked and looked at Sam, somewhat skeptical. "Well, I thought you'd raise him Catholic?" "We didn't discuss it. In fact I think all we did discuss was whether or not Luka needed a changing table at his place." "You're not Catholic?" Abby shook her head. "Well what are you?" Sam asked out of curiosity. "To be honest, I have no idea…" Abby said, and she sighed, looking out the window of the room she'd been moved to. "I mean. I believe in God. But I don't know anything about Him." Sam nodded. "Oh. Well. Whatever you decide, you'll make it work." Abby nodded. "I'll let you get some rest. I'll come let you know if there's any change with Luka or Josip." Abby nodded again. "Thank you Sam." "Anytime.", and Sam left.

"Tata.. Tata? It's me, Marko. Wake up, Tata. Take care of my brother!"

Luka woke suddenly from what felt like one of those long nights he'd experienced which held no dreams for him but the memories of the violent, sudden deaths of his wife, son, and daughter. Yet with them always came flashes of other memories. The good times. Spending holidays in Split with his family at his grandfather's farm—watching Marko's fascination with the cow, or a horse, Jasna's amazement at a large field of corn stalks, or wild flowers, a cat stalking a mouse or the farm's big spotted rabbit with her kits. Christmases in Zagreb with his mother and father, his four siblings coming from Zadar, Sibenik, and Zagrab to all be together for such an important time. Jasna had just a bond with Luka's brother Vedran. He'd left Croatia shortly before the destruction of Vukovar, but had returned upon hearing of the deaths of his sister-in-law, niece and nephew. Luka swore to this day that it was truly Jasna's death that hit Vedran the hardest, though he never did come out and say so.

And after these nights, he never did feel very rested. The same was true with this moment. It was a moment before he became aware that he was at County, and started to remember what had happened earlier. He'd been handcuffed to a locker and injected with something that must have knocked him out. His throat was rather irritated, and he figured he might have been intubated for some length of time. Then he remembered that he was, he'd woken for a moment to see he was intubated, and he'd also panicked seeing Abby in the next room. She'd collapsed. Wait… where was Abby? "Hello?" Luka called from the room he was in hoping someone would hear him. He needed to know that Abby and the baby were okay.

The door opened and Kerry Weaver stepped inside. She walked over to Luka as she saw that he was awake. "Luka… Do you remember what happened?" Luka nodded and Kerry continued. "I need you to stay quiet and still until you're clear to go." "Kerry I'm fine. I'm not bleeding internally, I'm breathing fine, I'm not in any pain. I don't even feel dizzy. I have to go. Where is Abby?" Kerry's expression changed and she sighed, apprehensively, reasoning what to say. "Abby… Abby's fine Luka." "The baby?" Kerry hesitated and then continued. "The baby was born about two hours ago Luka. He's breathing with the help of an infant ventilator, but we can't administer surfactant until we know the results of some tests."