A Not So Happy Happily Ever After
I'm back! Heh... Sorry I made you guys wait so long. I know I said I'd have this chapter out by the end of my holidays but I got sorta side-tracked... And then I had yearly exams to study for and a million assignments and our yearly reports and my birthday and then my dad came back from overseas and then my internet stopped working and then I lost the sheet that I had written part of it on and then I had a writers block and then — well the list goes on and on. I'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry!
Thanks for all the reviews! Princess-Maiden, KiwiKol, Deshwitat'slover, Ashley, ChasingStarlight, puppy444219, mistress-of-mist, Amilak, Terriah, louie, Bloody-Vampyre-Mistress, q, SpiritWolf341, coco-san, Tessadragon, Kamikakushi, Zehria, master-of-random-disaster, morromotherofwolves, jess, White-Fuzzy-Ears, Battouasi'sgirl, prettyinpinkgal, -Cinderella-Princess-, Nocturnal-Syn, TheBlackSpider, Gigi1o1, RayneAForbiddenOne, Lilith Winters thank you for your kind reviews! And I would also like to give an extra big thanks Nocturnal-Syn for guilting me in to completing this chapter. I hadn't meant to take this long to write this chapter.
Ugh... Howl's convo with Justin sounds so weird... (bangs head on table) what was I thinking? I had a much better version but it got deleted and I forgot how it went...
Disclaimer: The same disclaimer as in the previous chapter applies here too.
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Chapter 4: In which numerous promises are made
She raised her head slowly and stared straight into his eyes. She began to speak again only this time her voice was barely above a whisper. It was wavering and insecure. "All I want is love. To find someone who I love with all my heart and who returns my feelings. Is it really so wrong for me to try?"
Suddenly Sophie couldn't take it anymore. She just broke down. She tore off, not knowing where she was going. All she wanted was to get away. To get away from here and from all her problems. Tears pounded down her face as she raced away, all of the negative feelings she had been suppressing, finally released and tearing away at her.
She just wanted to get away from it all.
Sophie ran down the hallway, not even noticing the strange looks she was given. She raced through corridors, ran down stairs, dashed past room after room, until she reached her destination. The door. She bolted out, her feet pounding on the hard, marble stairs.
Sophie had always been an athletic person. She loved running. She ran away from so many of her problems, so many of the difficulties in her life. As a child whenever something bad or too overwhelming for Sophie would happen, she ran. Not to get away from the problem or to slither out like Howl did, but to give herself space and time to think. Through running she could find an inner calm, one that helped her focus and think things through. It helped to calm her down and rationalize. That was exactly what she needed to do now. She needed to calm down and think things through.
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Howl and Justin stared shocked in the direction that Sophie had run off, with their jaws hanging agape slightly. A small rustling sound caught their attention. They turned to the bushes and saw a small, cream and brown dog, with a very disapproving look in his eyes. Heen let out a wheeze of disappointment and glared at them both reproachfully. The look on his face was easy to read. 'You jerks, what were you thinking! I can't believe you did that to Sophie!' With that he trotted off, his small feet pattering against the pavement.
A wave of guilt crashed down of both of the young men, as they looked at their feet, thoroughly ashamed of their actions. 'Ugh... What the hell did I just do? I just screwed up any chance I have of convincing Sophie to stay! And I made myself seem like such an arrogant stuck-up jerk.' Howl thought to himself, mentally berating himself up for being such an idiot.
'Damn! I hadn't meant to kiss her. She was just... She just looked so—Sophie's right! I have been objectifying her... Damn! I just wanted her to feel better. And I was doing a good job too! Before I screwed everything up by kissing her! But-but... It felt so good... Like we were meant to be! But she didn't kiss me back...She loves him too much. Argh! I just destroyed our friendship too!' Justin felt very close to smashing his head against a wall at that moment.
He glanced sideways at Howl, who looked even more anguished than he did. 'Damn! He really loves her too. He probably just doesn't know how to show it or something... And I just screwed everything up for both of them! How the hell do I fix this up?' Contritely, Justin started his apology. "Howl. I-I'm sorry. I-I-I didn't mean to cause this kind of problem between you and Sophie. I want to apologize for my unchivalrous actions."
"It was my fault for getting so worked up. I'm sorry." Howl replied remorsefully.
"There's nothing to apologize for. You had every right to get mad at me. And just to clear things up, Sophie didn't kiss me. She loves you too much to do that." Howl's head jerked up and looked at him strangely. "I just want to be friends with Sophie. Nothing more. I know that I love her but I also know that she loves you and I'm not gonna try to interfere with her happiness. That's what's most important to me." Justin explained.
"Oh..."
"But," Justin added warningly, "If I hear that you've hurt her again or make her unhappy I'll—" He gestured threateningly.
"The last thing I want to do is hurt her." Howl replied sadly, "Although I already have."
"Then what are you still doing here?! Hurry up! Go find Sophie and stop her crying!"
Howl needed no further encouraging. He dashed off in the same direction that Sophie did, hoping to find her.
The moment Howl was out of sight, Justin's supportive façade fell and he buried his face in his hands. 'What am I going to do? He really loves her and she loves him back! How am I supposed to be her friends and stand there and watch my true love fall for someone else? How can I be a supportive reliable friend if everytime I'm around her I feel like losing control?' Justin sighed unhappily. He'd given up hope that he'd ever be able to be with Sophie. Friendship was the best he could do and the only thing she wanted from him. But it was so hard to be around her! He sat there thinking about what he should do but also trying to avoid thinking of her because those thoughts always made him feel light-headed.
The Tower Clock began to ring as 9 o'clock finally came. Justin took a deep breath before a mask of polite happiness came over his face. He walked back to the castle hoping to do his speech and get out of there quickly. But he had also hoped that Sophie would be there...
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"WHAT?! SOPHIE'S GONNA LEAVE US!" Markl cried horrified. "But-but-but—She can't! She just can't! I don't want her to leave! She's my family!"
"I know. I don't want her to leave either. But unless we do something, she's gonna leave and go live with the Turnip-headed Prince." Calcifer replied, his flames blazing brighter emphasizing his concern.
They were about to start planning when a sobbing figure ran past them quickly. "Who was that?" Markl asked Calcifer curiously before darting out of the room they were in and following the figure.
She sped through hallways, down stairs and past many rooms. Markl ran after her concerned and curious. 'Jeez, who is she? She's so fast! I can barely keep up!' Being the naïve person he was, he only noticed one thing about her and that was the deep blue gown she was wearing. 'It looks kinda familiar...'
She reached the door and rushed out, not noticing Markl following her. The moment they were outside Markl stopped in his tracks, frozen. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened and he stared at her stunned. Silver hair sparkling under the light of the moon, rich blue gown billowing on the breeze, tears rolling down pale cheeks. Of course he thought it was familiar! 'It's Sophie! Calcifer was right! Howl did do something!' He watched her run into the night, unable to say a word. 'She's heading towards the castle. I'd better tell Cal.' Markl broke out of his daze and turned around, heading towards Calcifer. 'I hope Cal has an idea on what to do now.'
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His fist landed squarely against the wall which was starting to crack thanks to the magic he added into his punch. "Dammit! Where could she be?!" Howl hissed as he searched frantically. He'd searched the castle furiously but there was no sign of her anywhere.
He gave a defeated sigh and presses his forehead against a cool stone wall. He felt so lost and lonely without her. 'Sophie! Where are you? I need you.' He couldn't help but think brokenly.
A slight whisper of Sophie's name reached his ears and hope surged through Howl again. He dashed off in the direction that he heard it and came to a small room with two voices coming from inside.
"Markl! Calcifer!" Hope was flowing strongly through him. "I need help! Do you know where Sophie is?"
Markl and Calcifer turned to him with a fierce glare before turning their backs on him.
"Markl? Calcifer?" Howl asked unsurely as a twinge of doubt and fear struck him. He started to move closer.
"No!" Markl yelled. "Stay away from us! And Sophie too!"
"But Markl I—" Howl protested.
"You made her cry! You made her run away! She's sad and it's all your fault!" Tears rolled down the little boy's cheeks as he faced Howl furiously.
"I just want to go and apologize. Make things better."
"No! I don't trust you! You're just gonna hurt Sophie again and then she'll leave for sure." Markl cried.
"Stay away from Sophie. You've done enough damage as it is." Calcifer snarled.
Howl stared at the two of them, stunned at the ferocity of their love towards Sophie.
"You're not the only one who cares about her!" Calcifer continued.
"Yeah! We love her! And you always make her sad!" Markl added.
"We won't let you hurt her again!" They both stated defiantly.
Howl continued to stare at them, astonished until a small smile drifted across face. 'Sophie, it seems like my heart isn't the only one you stole. Markl and Cal are wrapped around your little finger too.' This thought amused him for a moment before the seriousness of the situation hit him. "I don't want to hurt her anymore. I love her too and I don't want her to leave."
Markl and Calcifer stared at him, taken back. He was actually serious this time. They glanced at each other uncertainly.
"So please help me."
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Howl was about to walk out of the room with new information from Calcifer and Markl about Sophie's location when Calcifer called out to him.
"Don't you dare hurt Sophie again! If she leaves we'll—" Calcifer trailed off threateningly. It would've sounded very good if Markl hadn't piped with his threat.
"We'll do something very horribly mean!"
Howl tried to fight back a smile at that. "I promise I won't hurt her ever again. I love her." He said reassuringly to the worried boy before leaving the castle in search of Sophie.
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"Sophie! Sophie, I found you!" Howl called out as he ran to Sophie.
Sophie spun around confused. "Howl? Wha—?" Suddenly she stiffened and glared at him, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you back in Justin's Castle starting another relationship with some girl you just met?" She spat.
Howl cringed at the venom in her voice but he tried to explain anyway. "Sophie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you its just that— I was afraid. I thought that one day you would find someone who you liked better or who was handsomer or more caring and that you would leave me... It hurt so much to just think that it could happen. I didn't want to get hurt and I thought that by finding other women to be with it would hurt less when you left, that it would make me less vulnerable... I didn't want to get hurt..."
"So instead you decided to hurt me?" Sophie scoffed coldly, "Howl, love is a connection between two people that's stronger than anything. In loving someone you give them the most important and fragile part of a person; your heart. You give them your trust and faith and if they return it you know that they truly love you. I trusted you with my heart and you just tore it apart because you didn't want to get hurt." Pain leaked into her voice and disappointment shone through her eyes.
"I do love you and I do trust you! I trusted you with my life and—"
"And I saved you. I gave you your heart back. And then you started chasing after other women." Sophie cut him off icily. "Maybe you were better off as the Horrible Heartless Howl."
"Sophie—" Howl cried alarmed.
"And besides," Sophie continued, not hearing Howl's protest, "trusting someone with your life is different to trusting them with your heart. Trusting someone with your life has dire consequences but if they fail you just die. If you trust them with your heart and they hurt you those feelings of betrayal and pain, they never really leave you. You have to continue living knowing that someone you love doesn't return your feelings. Quite often it hurts a lot more than the pain of a quick death does." She looked at him sadly, her eyes showing a world of pain.
"Sophie, I—"
She cut him off once again. "Howl, I don't want to hear it. It's too late, the damage is done. Just leave me alone." She whirled around ready to leave.
"NO! Sophie, please! Just hear me out!"
"No, Howl. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."
He lowered his head and said softly. "Sophie, I...I'm sorry."
Those words struck Sophie hard. After all that he'd put her through he was saying sorry?! Fury started to surge again. "Sorry?" Sophie scoffed, "You're sorry?? Howl, 'sorry' just ain't gonna cover it. Saying that you're sorry isn't gonna change how I feel and it isn't gonna unbreak my heart or change what you did."
"Sophie, please—"
"I don't want to make another mistake. I don't wanna get hurt again. I don't want go through this sort of pain again. It's over Howl. Just leave me alone." Sophie turned away.
Howl lowered his head sadly. "Then you're no better than me..."
"Huh?" Sophie spun around and confused and bewildered expression on her face.
Howl continued, ignoring her comment. "A very wise young lady told me that truly being in love with someone means that you trust them with the most important part of a person; their heart. If you don't trust me enough to give me a second chance and instead break my heart then you're stooping down to my level. You're doing the same thing that I did. To protect yourself from pain, are you willing to hurt another?"
Sophie's mouth had dropped at Howl's logic. "I—" She stuttered trying to find a plausible comeback. She looked down unable to meet his gaze. Numerous thoughts raced through her mind but one was the strongest. 'What Howl said is true... If I don't give him a second chance then I'll be doing exactly what he did to me... I want to trust him again. I really do. I love him. But... But what if he hurts me again? I don't think I can take it...'
'But you love him. Don't you trust him? He knows he's made a mistake and he wants to make things better. Doesn't he deserve a second chance?'
'But what if he hurts me again? What if I'm not good enough for him? What if—'
'Stop doubting yourself and him Sophie. You know that what you feel for him is strong and obviously he feels the same if someone as cowardly as him would face your wrath just for the slightest chance to make things better'
A look of vulnerability swept over her face as she looked up. A child-like innocence and uncertainty gazed up at him through her hazel eyes. "I—I...um..." She seemed at a loss for words but the look in her eyes said everything. She loved him and was willing to give him a second chance. But he had to wait for her to make the final move. Hesitantly she shuffled towards him. Howl swept her into his arms, hugging her tightly and vowed silently to never let her go. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his shoulder. A peaceful happy warmth flooded through her. 'This is my home. This is where I belong. With him.'
They stood there in each other's arms content and neither one wanting to let go. Finally Sophie drew back slightly. Howl blinked at her, stunned and frightened, thinking he did something wrong. She stared into his eyes with a look of mock seriousness on her face. "If you ever do something idiotic like trying to protect yourself from me by becoming a womanizer again..." She trailed off threateningly. Howl would've been apologizing like crazy if he hadn't noticed the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
"That's never going to happen. I promise. There's only one girl in the world who I could ever love and she's in my arms right now" His sapphire blue eyes twinkled as he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "And I hope she never leaves."
Sophie blushed and smiled shyly at him. "She won't." Sophie leaned forward and her lips met Howl's in a soft sweet kiss. "She's where she always hoped she'd be. With the one she loves." Their lips met again.
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Wow... I'm finished...
I don't really know what to say now... Although I am sorry that this chapter took so long and that it's in such a pitiful state. I just lost inspiration. If you actually bothered to read this chapter then I thank you for being such a loyal reader. And please don't flame me coz this chapter sucked. I already know that.
Although I must say that I am glad that I found a way to end it without it sounding too cheesy (I hope) even though I had to get rid of the line that I was looking forward to writing. I was planning on quoting DWJ and make howl say (like he did in the book) "Do you want to live happily ever after with me? It should be hair-raising!" (or something along those lines) so that it would relate to the title. But i just couldn't find a way to add that in without it sounding too weird...
Oh, and this might be a bit late but Happy New Year everyone! XD
-Sneezii-chan