The area is nothing but a void. An unending inky blackness, that has no existence to be seen at all. Perfect silence fills the air until…

- Swoosh -

The sword master Guy leaps onto the scene. His long ponytail fluttering in an invisible wind, he quickly pulls out his sword and performs his mega cool critical hit attack. Then stopping, he holds out his sword in a dramatic pose, smiles, and faces outward.

"Franchise does not own Fire Emblem! Nintendo or some secondary company of theirs does!"

Guy keeps on smiling until he starts to blink in confusion as a thought comes to his mind.

"Hold on. We have never bothered with a disclaimer before. Why am I doing one now?"

From somewhere, a rolled up piece of paper bounces off his head. Bending down Guy picks it up and unfolds it.

"It's to hopefully keep your fans happy since you won't be appearing in the story for a while yet." He reads off of the note. "I guess that's okay. By the way, what character am I doing?"

Another ball of paper hits him.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Guy pauses at this. "…Oh that's just great"

Letting out a sigh he turns and walks back into the darkness.

-----

Today Lyn and the rest of her party are not important. That's because they're not even appearing in this chapter.

"What?" Lyn screams out loud. "You haven't updated in months and now I'm not even getting an appearance? Why not?"

Well under some circumstances such as completing certain objectives, bonus chapters or missions may be unlocked. As such this is what we call a "Gaiden" chapter.

"But we didn't do anything to unlock a Gaiden chapter."

Err, that's beside the point. So anyway, you got the day off.

"I thought I was suppose to be the star," the princess mutters sadly.

Good grief. Look it's a one-time deal. There are no more bonus chapters after this.

"There better not be," Lyn warns as she reaches for her sword. "Because if there are…"

There isn't! I promise! Right, moving on then…

Chapter 5 X: Universally United Unnerving Unbroken Helpful Heroic Herculean Heart

The Place: Renvell

The Time: 2:15 pm

The Music: Villains Composition Number 9

With a mighty screech a Wyvern swoops into the fortress's throne room. Its rider dismounts and makes his way forward. At the sight of him, the general on the throne immediately moves to make room for him.

"Master Karel" the brown haired man calls out with a hint of nervousness. "What a lovely surprise. You're looking especially…bloody today."

Karel smiles a twisted smile and licks his blood-covered spear. "I was bored so I slaughter so my soldiers. That's beside the point. Tirado, have you captured Eliwood yet?"

"Err no sir. He is still fighting to the north of here."

Karel continues to glare at his subordinate. "And what about all those mercenaries I provided you with to get the job finished?"

"Eliwood is quite clever. His men strike quickly and then vanish back into the woods.We have doubled our numbers but still have difficulty fighting him because of the terrain.He has no army, just a small force of knights loyal to Renais. The prince's reputation as a strategist is well received. Well either that or your mercenaries are incompetent."

Karel's glare intensifies to level six.

"Which of course can not be the case sir" Tirado quickly adds on.

"I grow impatient of waiting Tirado. My spear hungers for Eliwood's blood. I want to fight him, kill him and then kill him some more. Find him quickly for me or I just might have to start practicing on you."

The general gulps. "That's not necessary sir. Just give me an army and I guarantee that I can capture Eliwood."

"I'm listening"

"We take the army and had north of the fort after him."

"This plan sounds like a lot of work with very little killing."

"Hear me out master. I happen to have a "friend" who is by Prince Eliwood's side that will help us when the time is right"

In a nearby groove of trees….

A man stands poised at the edge of the forest, his stance full of confidence. Short ruby hair. A pleasant smile. Thick shiny amour glistens in the sun with a fluttering cape attached and a spear in hand. It is Eliwood, prince of Renais, mighty fighter, and all around cheesy good guy.

"Kent. Sain. How are our supplies and weapons holding up?"

Two cavaliers step forward. One is serious looking with red hair in green armor and the other is a bit more re with brown hair in red amour. Sain, the one in red armor, speaks first.

"We're down to our last few weapons and only a bit of bread and water to eat. Are you sure we can't go to the nearby village? I think they have a Wal-Mart…"

"No Sain," Eliwood cries out dramatically. "This is enemy territory and doing so would endanger innocent people. I cannot allow that to happen. Why it goes against everything in the Heroic Guide to Being Heroic!"

From a pocket, Eliwood whips out a small paperback book with the aforementioned title on the front, causing Sain to groan.

"I knew you were going to say that. But we really do need to figure out what to do. Plus I'm hungry…"

"Quiet Sain" Kent says speaking up. "We must consider things very carefully. We have heard reports that the invasion into Renais has increased in the capital has already fallen."

"So soon…" Eliwood mutters in thought. "Still, my father is in the capital and he will not give up without a fight. I'm sure things are okay there for the moment."

Number of days since Renais got owned and King Oswin kicked the bucket: 16

"Anyway, Kent. Sain. We must press onward and keep distracting the troops as best we can. Hopefully, we'll be able to provide my father and Lyndis more time. Kent, have you heard anything from Harken? I sent him to scout ahead"

"No word yet my lord"

"He's probably goofing off somewhere"

"Actually, I'm right here"

The three turn around to see Harken, a blonde haired young man dressed in the noble clothes of a paladin. He salutes prince Eliwood before quickly going into his report.

"There is Grado troops spread out at several points around our camp, my lord. As well, another large battalion of soldiers has made its way out of Renvall. Staying in this area any longer would be quite unwise"

"I see…"

Kent looks over at his prince. "It would seem that we have certainty caught Grado's attention this time. Should we retreat back to the capital then?"

"No" Eliwood responds causing various gasps of surprise. "Instead, we are going to attack and conquer Renvall!"

"…"

"…"

"Err…Permission to say that you have gone insane sir?"

"Permission granted Sain. But don't you see? With all those soldiers out searching for us, the stronghold will be less protected. We'll be able to slip in, take it over, and force Grado to waste resources getting it back. It's perfect. The enemy will never see it coming."

"Yes. Because it is insane."

"Watch your tongue Sain! That is our prince you are speaking to!"

"No, let him be Kent. I know my plan might seem a little out there but I assure you that I have not lost all my sanity. In fact, I even have a foolproof plan to sneak into the base"

---FE---

At the gates of Renvall two guards stand at attention ready to respond to any attacks and completely bored out of their minds at the moment.

"Man, nothing ever happens out here" The first complains.

"Yup"

"Hey, hold on a second. Are those a bunch of cardboard boxes moving over there?"

The second solider looks out at the field. Sure enough there are four cardboard boxes, overturned and moving towards them in a slightly shaking line bumping into each other occasionally.

"Sure looks like it"

"Ah. …So how's the family?"

"Oh, not too bad"

---FE---

"I can't believe that actually worked" Sain mutters in disbelief as he and the rest of the group throw the boxes off inside the fortress.

Eliwood just gives a grin and a thumbs up as he unattached a huge badass looking spear from his back.

"Is that…" Harken asks slowly.

"Yes. It's my personal weapon Reginleif and with it, I shall lead the way to victory! Let's go men."

"Wait sire" Kent cries out. "We should try to for a strategy first"

It is too little too late however as Eliwood charges forward with yell. At the sound of the battle cry enemies appear and move to intercept him. A knight and an archer fire off javelins and arrows but the Renais prince easily deflects them. Just before he reaches the guards, Eliwood plants his spear into the stone floor and pole vaults upwards.

Ally and enemy alike are frozen in place as the prince flies through the air gracefully twisting and flipping as if in slow motion. Time only resumes when Eliwood lands back on his feet directly behind the Grado forces and lashes out with Reginleif taking all of them out with one strike.

Kent, Sain, and Harken are dumbfounded at first until they start to clap and hold up scorecards with a 10, 8.5, and a 2 respectfully.

---FE---

"Harken"

The paladin stops turning back to see his prince moving towards him. "Yes Lord Eliwood"

"Your injury still hasn't healed up from the last battle has it?"

"It's not that bad. I can still move my back a little bit"

Eliwood blinks. "Your back? I thought you said it was your leg?"

"Well, yes but you see," Harken starts while sweat begins to pour down his forehead, "it's a magical moving injury?"

"That makes it much worse," Eliwood says showing deep concern. "To think you have to endure this on top of losing your wife not too long ago. Have I apologize for Isadora's accidental food poisoning? If I had remembered she was allergic to fish, I would never have had it served for dinner"

Harken grits his teeth together trying to stay calm, "Yes my lord. Several times in fact"

"Anyway, I know. Let me carry your stuff for you!"

"What? No prince, that is quite all right"

"Nonsense," Eliwood replies as he reaches over to Harken and starts taking items. "Let's see here; silver sword, steel lance, some vulnerary, an extra copy of my battle strategies, and a large sack of money with the word bribes on it. Wow, you really came prepared today Harken. But at least now your back won't be in so much pain"

"But…how can I…what will…err thank you prince Eliwood" Harken finally mutters out.

---FE---

Kent takes a panting breath as he runs his sword into an enemy druid. "There seems to be no end to these troops. Still we do seem to making progress. How are you holding up Sain? …Sain?"

Kent stops and looks around surprised that his fellow cavalier is not beside him. Looking back, he sees Sain hunched over a large book.

Kent gallops back towards Sain causing him to look up. "Hmm…oh Kent? How have you been?"

"Fine. Sain, what are you doing back here. Are you…are you painting?"

"No. Well, its more like sketching actually" Sain replies holding up the book and the piece of charcoal he uses to draw.

"In the middle of a battle?" Kent asks with disbelief.

"Sure. I just feel it is important to keep a record of these battles with these pictures"

Kent stares at him for a moment before grabbing the book out of his hands and looking through the pages. "Sain…these are all sketches of girls" he finally says.

Sain just shrugs back at his companion. "What can I say? I have an artistic appreciation for the female form."

"That's not artistic! That's you being a pervert!"

"Calm down. Calm down. Man, you really need to relax a bit."

"Get back to fighting!" Kent screams as he whacks Sain on the head with the sketchbook. "Act like a cavalier for once in your life."

"Fine. Right away oh great and honourable Sir Kent, perfect and mighty commander of all the knights of Renais"

"…Oh brother"

---FE---

A browned hair mercenary with sword in hand smiles triumphantly from the throne. "Just because I'm a substitute boss doesn't mean I'm any less dangerous. Today you will pay for your foolish prince Eliwood. Because today you face the blade of Zonta."

Eliwood and his troops look over at him. "One moment please" the prince says before the four of them form a huddle.

"Huh? Hey, we're supposed to be fighting here!"

"We just need a moment to discuss our strategy."

"…Fine" Zonta grumbles as he starts to tap his foot out of irritation while the group begins to talk"

"This is a perfect plan"

"But what if our opponent gets a critical hit?"

"Z or whatever his name is doesn't seem that tough."

"No. Kent is right. We can't take that risk."

Zonta lets out a loud yawn.

"How about maneuver 22?"

"No way. I hate maneuver 22."

"Also, we don't have any dresses with us"

"Oh right"

Zonta begins to flip through a magazine.

"All right. Is everyone in agreement?"

"Yes"

"Yup"

"Indeed"

Zonta face lights up. "Finally"

"After we win, we will get pepperoni, mushrooms, and extra cheese on our victory pizza!"

And Zonta face dims back down. "That's enough! If you won't fight me then I'll fight you!" he cries out moving off the throne and towards them.

"…NOW!!!"

Before Zonta can react, the four Renais soldiers gang pile on top of him and start pounding him with their weapons.

"Ow…Hey…at least let me have a cool death lie!"

---FE---

Eliwood leans back on the throne with a well-earned smile of victory. "Ah yes, the old long winded fake group huddle to annoy the enemy into coming off the stat boosting and healing throne tactic. It never fails. Hmm, that's odd. Harken has mysteriously disappeared again."

"I don't think now is the best time to be worrying about that" Sain says rushing back into the room in a panic. "We got company"

"Reinforcements, so soon? How many are we talking about Sain?" Kent asks.

"A lot!"

Eliwood gets up from the throne while picking up his spear. "Oh come now Sain. I'm sure it's not that bad."

---FE---

"Well then again…"

The three stand outside Renvall, which is now completely surrounded on all sides by an army of Wyvern troops. At the forefront is Karel glaring sadistically at them.

"Well now, you captured Renvall. That's impressive. It makes you worthy enough to die by my spear. I take it that you would be Prince Eliwood then."

"That's correct" Eliwood replies stepping forward. "And who might you be?"

"General Karel, the moonstone"

"The moonstone?"

"Yes"

"Are you strong"

"Of course I am"

"Do you plan to kill us?"

"Most defiantly"

"And how did you know that I was going to attack Renvall?"

"Because we have a…grrr. Enough with the twenty questions! Throw down your weapons and surrender to me."

"But you just said you were going to kill us."

"Surrender now and start begging. Maybe then I'll make your deaths slightly less painful"

"I say we fight them Lord Eliwood," Kent whispers as he reaches for his sword.

Sain quickly speaks as well. "This man does not represent me"

Eliwood steps forward. No words are spoken but no one can deny the calm confidence radiating from him. "I don't think so. Karel, nice to meet me and all but I'm afraid we have to be going now. Kent, Sain, are you ready?"

Both knights nod their head as they step forward besides their prince.

Karel laughs at this. "Are you mad? You're surrounded on all sides. Do you really think you could fight past all of my Wyvern knights?"

"I don't make fights that I can't win." Eliwood pauses for a moment before turning and pointing to the side. "Hey, look at that. There's a bunch of really strong warriors just waiting to be slaughtered in battle over there!"

Karel's head snaps 180 degrees as he looks off to the side. "Where?"

"Quick. Exit stage left!" Eliwood yells as they run off in the opposite direction.

Karel turns back, with an enraged look at his escaping prey. "Cure you Eliwood. You may have escaped for now but you have not seen the last of me. I will hunt you to the end of the earth. And when I find you, you will be mine. You and your little dog too."

A Wyvern knight flies forward. "Sir, we could probably still catch up to…. agghhhh!"

Karel stares back at the solider annoyed as he slowly pulls his spear back out of the man's chest. He stares at the rest of the now very nervous troops.

"Never interrupt one of my villain monologues"