.: Shadows of the Past :.

The Terra Saga - vol. 3

Shadows of the past hint at the morning held within the waiting future; but only if one chooses to hold them together as one life.

Author's Note: Shadow is one of the most tortured souls in Final Fantasy VI. Much to my amazement, the game didn't really solve the mystery behind Shadow and his past. The gamer was left to wonder about the connection between Relm and Shadow hinted at by the 'Memento Ring' (which was only able to be worn by them, and then later renamed and altered in the PSOne version), and by the few dreams witnessed when the party slept at an inn and Shadow was a member. This mystery fascinated me.

I would recommend that you read my fic titled 'Terra' before reading this one, as I reference several happenings in that previous fic. Not to mention all the excitement that happens throughout the previous storyline anyway! I think you'll enjoy both (of course, why wouldn't I think that?).

The characters within this story and the world they live are the property of SQUARE-Enix®. They are used without permission (though I would love to have permission) and not to be seen as my property.

.: 1 :. Replaced Identity

"Your highness?"

Terra Branford Figaro raised her violet eyes from the book she read to the children gathered at her feet. "Yes, Chancellor?"

"I hate to bother you, highness, but there is a..." The Chancellor pressed his lips together. His expression clearly showed exasperation and frustration.

Terra handed the book to one of the older girls, assured them she'd return to hear the end of the story, and then urged the Chancellor to follow her from the room.

Terra closed the door behind her and then led him out of earshot. "What is it, Chancellor?"

"He will not relinquish his weaponry."

Terra sighed and lowered her eyes to the flagstones at her feet. Ever since Edgar had returned with her as his new bride, the Chancellor had taken it upon himself to tighten the security at Figaro castle. Many of the constant visitors, such as Locke and Sabin - who'd become quite patient since beginning his school of Blitz Arts - saw it as a nuisance to be dealt with using extreme tolerance. Others, such as diplomats from other continents, most often saw it as an invasion of privacy and an insult to their credibility. Terra understood that the Chancellor was simply attempting to protect the king and his new queen, but his over zealousness had become a nuisance.

"Who won't?" Terra finally asked.

"The... gentleman who now waits in your receiving chamber. Not only does he refuse to relinquish his weapons, he will not tell me what business he has with you. He also threatened the guards with bodily harm when they attempted to detain him and the beast that was with him-"

One of Terra's hands flew to her throat. "W-was it a black and brown dog?"

"A dog," the Chancellor scoffed. "More like a Rhinox than a dog, but yes, it was black and brown. I only let him enter the castle eared for my very life."

"What does the gentleman look like?"

"I do not know, highness," the Chancellor stated in a tight voice. "A very mysterious creature, highness, and not very trustworthy, I dare say. He was draped entirely in black."

"Shadow!" Terra grabbed fistfuls of extravagant gown and rushed down the hall toward her reception chamber.

The ninja had seemingly vanished from the face of the planet after she and Edgar married. They'd tried so hard to find him, even leaving word with the many merchant caravans departing from Figaro. Nothing, not one tidbit of information, had ever surfaced. Terra didn't understand why she had such a desire to find him, but she hadn't been able to ignore the pressing need to know if he was alright. To have him suddenly appear on Figaro castle's doorstep demanding entry in his typical way relieved her spirit.

Oh, if only Edgar didn't have meetings all day. But his determination to rebuild the Figaro kingdom - which stretched from Narshe to Jidoor and from Nikeah to Kohlingen - took up a great portion of each day. He always made time for her, of course, but to drop everything for a meeting with Shadow would be impossible.

Terra skidded to a halt in front of the reception chamber door. The she smoothed her skirts and adjusted her elegantly coiffed hair before taking in a deep breath and opening the door. Shadow stood in the far corner.

He'd changed. She'd never seen him in anything but the most perfectly kept black outfit. She'd always assumed that it was a matter of pride. But now his clothes were faded and dirty, dusty and stained with mud. There were jagged tears throughout and his normally immaculate embroidered sash was tattered. He looked as though he'd been through as many struggles alone as she and her friends had withstood together.

Terra pushed it aside and stepped forward with an eager but hesitant smile, producing her hands in greeting when he turned to face her. "Shadow, I'm so glad you're safe."

Shadow didn't take her hands. He only stared at her with that emotionless gaze that had terrified hundreds if not thousands of enemies. Terra's smile faded and her hands dropped to her sides. She gestured to the armchair situated across from a well-stoked fireplace that burned with brightness and warmth.

"Would you like to sit down?" she asked hesitantly. He minutely shook his head. She lowered her eyes and hesitantly turned to make her way to an armchair. Her heart pounded in her chest with the surprising emotion of fear. "How are you?" There was no answer, and she changed her gaze to him. Shadow was still staring at her. The strength left her limbs and she slowly sat. "Would you like some tea? Or coffee? Are you hungry? I could have Cook prepare something."

"I terrify you."

There was something different in his tone, almost as if the emotion he claimed dead had begun to awaken.

"N-no," Terra denied quickly. "I-I just..." She dropped her gaze. "All right. Yes. You do," she admitted reluctantly. She raised her head. "I've never felt threatened by you before. Not in all the adventures we've shared. Now, when you look at me... I'm not sure if I'm safe. What's the matter, Shadow?"

He looked away, staring out the window at the darkening sands of the desert just outside Figaro Castle. Terra's soul saddened. He was so far away. How in the world can I get him to talk? He was her friend, and she cared what happened to him. He must have cared for her at least a little bit, or else he wouldn't have risked his life to help her against Ledo Grikea's attempt to control her.

A familiar sense of rebellion sparkled in her eyes and she pressed her lips together. "I'm glad you're here, Shadow," she told him. "The children have all been asking about you. I don't tell the scary stories nearly as well as you." A wall seemed to go up around him. Terra courageously pressed on. "It looks as if you've been away from civilization for awhile. Did you need anything?"

"I need nothing. I need no one," he said in a flat tone.

"Oh." Terra fought against what her instinct told her, grappling against her innate softness in order to do what had to be done.

"Well then, I guess I'll go back to the children." She stood and moved toward the door, her insides twisting with reluctance and dread. "It was nice of you to visit. I hope you can stay longer next time."

Terra's hand reached out for the gold handle just as she heard a soft swoosh. Then came an immediate clunk as his dagger struck the doorpost beside her. She flinched a little, but then she reached over to pull the dagger from the wood. When she turned, Shadow was directly behind her. Terra handed him the dagger. He took it sharply, sheathing it with a harsh motion as his dark eyes flashed with the surprisingly clear emotions of anger and rebellion. Terra didn't say a word. She simply stood there, doing her best to hold his gaze.

After several long moments, he turned and stalked to the fireplace. He gripped the mantle with a black-gloved hand. "Don't go."

There was the barest hint of emotion in his voice. Terra took an uncertain step forward. "All right."

"Have you never wondered who I am?"

Terra slowly went back to sit in the armchair closest to the fire. "Of course. We've all wondered about everyone. Where Celes' parents came from, and why the Empire was able to take her as a baby to be trained as a Magitek Knight. Who Setzer was before he became the Wandering Gambler, and what caused the scar on his face. What kind of person Locke was before he became the Treasure-Hunter he is today. Curiosity is normal. You know that."

"Yes. Yes, I know that well. Curiosity is the tool of demons." He turned his face toward her, and his eyes sparked. "Do you wish to know where I've been? Why I've not visited?"

Terra clenched her hands. "Only if you want to tell me."

His eyes mirrored an inner battle. "My life has been darkness and secrets," he said in a flat tone. "If I don't confess them, they will surely eat of my soul and feast of my flesh." He looked away, staring down at the fire as if it were the very maw of the darkest place in her imagination. "Look you here and see my soul. Captured by the very fires of the Abyss. Bonded by the very injustices I first wanted to put right. Perhaps even the confession of my corruption won't save me from where I'm intended to go. Where I should already be."

"Where you--" Terra leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't have survived the collapse of Kefka's tower," he said without emotion. "I don't know why, but the ground beneath me collapsed to reveal a secret exit. More than likely designed for Kefka to use at an instant such as that. After I jumped down, I followed it to the upper plateau." He seemed to sense her silent question. "No, the demon Kefka is dead and sent to that place where his soul will be tormented just as he tormented the innocent." His chin lowered to his chest. "Where I myself should be."

"You? Why? You helped save-"

"At the expense of those I should have held most dear," he cut in. "I was a tormentor of innocents as much as Kefka, and yet I've received a second and third chance to change my ways." Shadow took in a deep breath and released it slowly. "I've been a fool to spit in the eye of the Fates and continue my spiral to that dark place. Now I fear it is too late. My past will never take me back."

"Why not? It's never too late."

"Not for you. Not for Locke or Sabin or any of the others, for they've held firmly onto their second chances and changed themselves. Changed their very way of thinking. I have, instead, held to this mask and my obsession with power, control, and secrecy." He pulled it from his head suddenly and stared down at it as he held it in his clenched fists. Terra lowered her eyes quickly to the floor. "This," Shadow raved, "is what has kept me from what I once wanted. This sudden desire to hide. This... this cowardice!"

Shadow tossed the shroud into the fire with a harsh motion. It burst into flame. Terra watched it burn with wide eyes, almost afraid to see what had been hidden under the mask for so long. Can I look? Do I dare see if what we've thought all this time is true?

"Burn," he hissed. "Burn and to Hell where you belong! I've need of you no longer. You destroyer of family. You slayer of trust and honor." His voice faded, but the passion of his statement lingered in the air to meld with the intense crackling of the flames. Those flames danced in celebration upon the mask he despised. "There," he said in a dangerously quiet voice. "It is done."

Expectation brought her heart to her throat, but still she hesitated to look at him. After all, what could she say? All of them had wondered what was hidden under his shroud, but they'd known it wasn't a question to ask. Just as everyone had known not to ask about his past. Not unless they wanted a dagger to the throat. He turned his face toward her, and she swallowed hard.

"Long have I wished to be rid of that foul shroud of death, but I didn't have the strength of spirit. Not until I saw how you and the others faced your pasts and fought on. It was then I saw my cowardice."

Terra took in a slow breath before changing her gaze to his face. A face she'd never seen even after all the hours, days, and months they'd fought side by side. He was well into the twilight years of his thirties. His good looks were actually enhanced by the scars strewn about his face. She saw that his eyes were a dark blue, now that they were no longer darkened by the deceptive black mesh of the shroud, and his sandy brown hair was peppered with gray. What struck Terra the most, however, was the resemblance.

The eyes. The defiance. The spark of life. It was as if Terra was looking into the face of young Relm Arrowny.