Telephone

Yes, this is a one shot. I'm just in the mood. And I know it's really retarded, so no flamers. Enjoy :D

Telephone

Joanne played with the phone cord nervously with one hand as she punched numbers into her house phone with the other. She sat on one of her kitchen stools, humming as she heard a ringing in the background.

Ring, ring, ring!

Maureen pressed pause on her CD player once she heard the phone ring. She sprang up from her spot on the couch and ran to the phone.

"Y'ello?"

"Maureen? It's Joanne."

"Hey, pookie!"

"Don't…don't call me that."

"Ok, whatever."

"We need to talk, Maureen…"

"Wait, let's do a super big eight way call with everybody!"

Joanne paused to sigh.

"You can't do an eight way call…"

"Yes, we can! Hold on!" Maureen said, full of excitement. Joanne waited about ten minutes until she heard a whole lot of talking.

"Joanne, are you there?" Maureen asked.

"Hey, Joanne!" Joanne heard Angel call.

"Hey, Angel, I didn't know you were on!" Mimi exclaimed.

"Mimi, you're on too?" Roger asked.

"This is fuckin' weird!" Mark exclaimed.

"I'm confused, man!" Collins said.

"How did this happen, Maureen?" Joanne said, becoming frustrated.

"I don't know who cares? Let's all talk like one, big, happy, happy family! WHOOOHA!" Maureen exclaimed.

Silence.

"So…um, Mark, what did you have for lunch today?" Roger asked, trying to suppress laughter.

"Tuna melt on rye, thanks for asking." Mark said, taking it seriously.

"Gotcha…." Roger said before cracking up. Everyone sighed.

"I'm bored." Mimi said flatly.

"I'm hungry." Angel sighed.

"Why are we doing this again?" Collins asked.

"Because we're all COOL LIKE THAT! GOD!" Maureen screamed.

Silence, once again.

"Hello?"

"BENNY!" everyone exclaimed at the same time.

"Who invited you to our phone session?" Mimi said angrily.

"I…I don't know, what's going on?" Benny asked.

"Benny, hang up." Roger said, exasperated. Benny obeyed.

"Well, that was easy." Mark said.

"Hey, that's the staple motto! And they have that thing! And you press it! And it says 'that was easy!' and they charge you five bucks for it! It's insane! Who's with me!" Maureen said excitingly.

Silence.

"Maureen, this is stupid."

"Who said that?"

"I'm not telling."

"Uh oh, I'm getting really confused."

"Angel, is that you speaking?"

"Hey, Collins! That was you, right?"

"Hey, Collins, Angel asked you something!"

"Wait, who was that?"

"Huh?"

"MASHED POTATOES!"

"MAUREEN!" everyone screamed at the same time.

"Jeez, everyone needs some PROZAC, STAT!" Maureen exclaimed.

"That was hilarious." Mimi said while laughing hysterically.

"Mimi? Was that you?"

"Roger?"

"I'm here."

"No, no, did you just ask me something?"

"Wait, who just said that?"

"Said what?"

"What?"

"Who's popping popcorn: I hear it!"

"I am!"

"Who's 'I'?"

"I am!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"This is crazy!"

"Insane!"

"Idiotic!"

"Retarded!"

"Who cares!"

Silence.

"I'm tired." Joanne mumbled.

"Same." Mark sighed.

"I'm off to bed." Mimi said with a yawn.

"Same." Angel said.

"Goodnight."

"Peace."

"See you all tomorrow."

"Later."

"Ciao."

"Sleep tight."

"Nighty Night."

"By, everyone."

Silence.

"Benny? You were here this whole time?" Roger asked.

"No, I just walked into my kitchen and realized I never hung up from before. So, let's talk: what's up, everyone?"

Seven phones slam down into receivers.

"Hello?"

Silence.

Poor Benny! HAHA! Peace, and, REVIEW.