Sugar and Spice

by paperfox

Chapter 1

Day 1

Fai was having a spazzing fit in the back of Rekoruto Library's infirmary. But since it was Fai's spazzing fit, it was about as visible as Mokona's nonexistent eyeballs, though the frustrated aggravation he was radiating was obvious enough to ward off even Sakura.

Kurogane, on the other hand, was having a hard time hiding his amusement (he was also a little fascinated, but no amount of bodily harm will ever get him to admit to that). He set his face in a stubborn frown because any other expression would have been too revealing and stared hard at the ceiling because his eyes kept trying to zero-in on Fai's chest but he was not going to succumb… oops, there it goes.

"I don't suppose you have another spell to counteract this?" Fai expression was thin and it grew thinner when his voice jumped a few pitches higher.

"We never found to need to create one, since everyone who had touched that book before understood its effects. We never experienced an accident like this," the librarian hesitated, and then added sympathetically, "But don't worry, the spell will wear off in seven days."

"Seven—?" Fai grew very still.

"If it's any consolation," the librarian added quickly, "you make a very pretty lady."

Fai twitched. Then he took a few deep breaths and managed a smile. "Aa."

The librarian smiled back and Kurogane was a bit creeped because there was no way in hell anyone could mistaken Fai's smile as friendly.

"This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't tried to touch that book," Syaoran said miserably. "Fai-san, I'm sorry!"

"Syaoran-kun—" Fai's voice climbed octaves again. "It's alright."

"But if I hadn't knocked into your hand…!"

"Oi, it was an accident," Kurogane interrupted before Syaoran could go into another self-depreciating monologue. He glanced at Fai briefly and immediately looked to the ceiling again. "What else did that curse do, besides… that?"

"Nothing else," Fai voice had a faint razor edge to it. "But this is quite enough, don't you think?"

Kurogane knew smirking was not a good thing to do at the moment and frowned with more determination. But really, this situation was amusing even if the kids looked horrified and Fai was throwing a fantastic tantrum (but only mentally, of course). Kurogane had to admit to some guilty pleasure in seeing Fai finally lose his composure.

"If you need help with anything else…" the librarian began.

"No, that's alright," Fai said. "I think we'll leave now." He swung his legs (her legs?) off the examination bed, took two steps, wobbled, and fell flat on his face.

Half an hour later, they were back in the town where they first arrived, making their way slowly through the crowded street. Fai kept stumbling sporadically, walking with an awkward gait, ill at ease with his suddenly unfamiliar body.

And Kurogane was staring. He couldn't stop. Something about this situation was hammering away at the last vestiges of his sanity.

Fai was a friggin' woman, with hips and curves and… stuff. Oddly enough, Fai didn't look that much different, with only a softer chin, a slightly more pronounced waist, and… chest lumps. Really small chest lumps.

Fai, sensing Kurogane's eyes on him and probably everyone else's too, sped up when they neared their small rented flat. He made a beeline for the bedroom the moment they stepped inside, or tried to, anyway, because he hadn't made halfway through the living room before tripping over another nonexistent bump and hitting the floor with a muffled thud.

Sakura gasped, "Fai-san!" and Syaoran immediately ran to help him up.

"Aa, so clumsy," Fai said with a slightly abashed smile. "It feels like I drank too much."

Kurogane tried but couldn't quite manage a frown. "Is it that hard to walk with extra meat?"

The smile on Fai's face shifted and Kurogane recognized it as the one he wore to the battlefield in Yama, right before he embedded an arrow into someone's eye.

"Now, if Kuro-pii is so curious, why don't we go back to the library and find that book?" Fai said with perfect serenity. Then he marched into the bedroom and shut the door firmly behind him.

Syaoran looked apprehensive. "Did Fai-san seem a bit… angry, to you?"

"Fai-san must be having a hard time," Sakura said with a note of sympathy. "Maybe we should try to cheer him up."

Sakura looked much too eager and Kurogane wondered just how deprived she had been of female companionship. And then he remembered Amaterasu and Souma and the other women in the castle gathering together to 'cheer up' and felt like cringing. The next seven days suddenly looked bleak.

"Should we go buy Fai-san a dress?" Sakura mused.

Day 2

By the next morning, Fai bounced back to deal with his current dilemma in a typical Fai-esque fashion—run away, and if that doesn't work, pretend its not there. After his first day of hiding out in the room and moping, Fai went on without a hitch as though he didn't suddenly have meat in weird places.

He was up bright and early clearing out the dust in their tiny flat, wearing the shirt and pants with the waistcoat partly unbuttoned, looking stubbornly normal.

"What are your plans for today, Syaoran-kun?" Fai asked. He voice was feminine and unfamiliar and Fai frowned slightly at the sound.

"I think the library is still the best source of information," Syaoran said as he shook out the tablecloth. "We'll just have to be more careful this time."

Fai nodded, "Take Kuro-wanwan with you. Sakura-chan and I will go explore the city today."

"Un!" Sakura beamed, complete with sparkles and flowers. "We're going shopping."

"Eh?" Kurogane eyed them both apprehensively. "For what?"

"Food," Fai explained. "We'll be asking around for information there as well."

"Fai-san, let's buy a dress for you," Sakura suggested again.

Kurogane didn't understand the girl's obsession with Fai in a dress, but he had to admit he was intrigued by the idea (just a little!).

"Aa… Sakura-chan, that's really alright," Fai's smile looked a bit frayed around the edges. "We don't have much money and seven days isn't very long."

"We might be out of this country in seven days," Kurogane pointed out. "We should at least try to blend in."

Syaoran whipped around to gawk at him in shock. Fai stared at him blankly, and then his smile slowly turned devious.

"Ne, does Kuro-pon want to see me in a dress?" Fai asked, draping himself over the front of the counter in a manner that could only be viewed as suggestive.

"Kurogane-daddy wants Fai-mommy in a dress!" Mokona chipped from its place on the table.

"You damned manjuu bun!" Kurogane roared, taking a swipe at it.

Fai laughed and turned back to his cleaning, shutting the pantry door as he did so, and suddenly flinched back with a yelp.

Kurogane looked at him in confusion. "What was that?"

Fai wore a faintly pained expression, "Nothing, I just… nevermind. I think this room is pretty much done. Let's head out now, shall we?"

When Kurogane and Syaoran returned later that day, the house was eerily silent. The living room was empty and the door to the bedroom was closed. Syaoran pushed open the door and jumped in surprise when someone on the other side abruptly forced it shut.

"Sorry, Syaoran-kun, but don't come in yet!" Sakura said. She sounded excited. "We're almost done!"

Kurogane and Syaoran exchanged an apprehensive look.

"What's going on?" Syaoran asked.

The door opened a crack and Mokona poked its head through. "We bought Fai a dress," it whispered furtively.

Kurogane choked. "What!"

"People were staring," Mokona explained, and Kurogane didn't know how something that looked like a meat bun with ears could manage look so scheming. "Mokona saw a dress that looked like one of Yuuko's dresses and Mokona liked it and Sakura did too and we wanted Fai to wear it… oh, it's done!"

Both Kurogane and Syaoran took a quick step back as Mokona threw the door open wide.

"It looks very good on you, Fai-san," Sakura was saying, and as Kurogane observed, it did.

The dress was in a style common to Rekoruto, with a high frilled collar, tight fitting bodice and a long, bell-shaped skirt colored in whites and grays, and looked elegant on Fai's long figure. Fai did not look comfortable though, and held himself stiffly.

"Eh… this is not easy to move in," Fai noted as he circled the room experimentally. He really was more graceful without hips.

"But it makes Fai-mommy look so beautiful!" Mokona said, hopping on Fai's shoulder, but the mage's sense of balance was knocked completely askew by the curse and toppled over the moment Mokona landed on him.

Shit, he's wearing women undergarments too, Kurogane noted as he watched Fai flail on the ground, and then did a double-take.

Syaoran blushed scarlet (Kurogane didn't because he was ninja and therefore, does not blush) and they both made a strategic retreat into the kitchen with the excuse of cooking dinner even though the only thing Kurogane could make that didn't taste burnt was tea and Syaoran only knew how to cut bread.

Day 3

Fai was rediscovering his love for sugar. That was the only explanation for the monstrosities on the table. Kurogane eyed the stack of little brown circles piled high on his plate and Fai, who was digging into them enthusiastically. Syaoran and Sakura were already eating.

"What," Kurogane began, eyeing his plate with suspicion, "are these spots?"

"Chocolate chips," Fai said. His eyes had the feverish brightness of someone who hadn't slept for days. "Rekoruto has the most amazing chocolate."

"But do you have to put it in bread?" Kurogane snapped.

"That's not bread. They're pancakes and they're supposed to be sweet," Fai's smile grew brighter. Judging by the sheer force of artificial cheer he was radiating, Fai could have been wearing sparkles. It was setting Kurogane's nerves on edge.

"I refuse to eat anything that looks like enlarged bird-poop," Kurogane muttered.

There was a sharp zing! and everyone reflexively flinched when Fai rammed a fork into Kurogane's stack of pancakes hard enough to bury part of the hilt. Then without a word, Fai pushed back his chair and disappeared into the kitchen.

Sakura and Syaoran were staring after Fai with stunned horror. Kurogane got up and followed the mage. Inside the kitchen, Fai was stubbornly stirring another batter, his shoulders set at rigid angles and his face overshadowed by his long bangs.

"Oi, what's wrong with you?" Kurogane asked with a frown.

Fai stared hard at Kurogane. "I'm angry."

Kurogane was thrown off by the sudden admission and wondered if he was hearing things. "What? Why?"

"I don't know. I just am," Fai made a frustrated huff. "I have no reason to be. I don't know what's going on."

"You're a woman," Kurogane noted.

Fai fingers were white as they clutched the bowl. "I know. You don't have to say it again."

The mage was truly angry. He made no effort to hide it, or perhaps he was no longer sure how to. Kurogane was absolutely fascinated.

"What I meant was, you're acting like a woman," 'menstruating' Kurogane was going to add but decided Fai wouldn't have appreciated it.

"And you're amused," Fai said with a note of accusation.

Kurogane resisted the urge to take a step back.

"I haven't slept in two days," Fai continued. "Have you ever tried sleeping on your stomach with breasts?"

"Uh," Kurogane paused, wondering if that was a trick question with a secret right answer besides the obvious. "No?"

"It's uncomfortable," Fai said sullenly, "and so does getting them caught on the pantry door."

"You barely have any breasts," Kurogane pointed out, and noticed by the way Fai's lips thinned that it was probably a bad thing to say aloud.

Fai whipped around to face him fully. "Why, do you think they should be bigger?"

This time, Kurogane did retreat. "I didn't say anything like that!"

"You implied it!"

And Kurogane had to dodge quickly to avoid the swipe of the mixing spoon, flabbergasted and bewildered as hell.

"What the fuck—!" Kurogane began.

"Out! Get out!" Fai brandished the spoon, splattering batter.

Kurogane didn't need further prompting and quickly retreated back into the living room. Hormones and Fai. Kurogane shuddered. As if the idiot needed any more excuses for acting crazy.

"What happened?" Syaoran asked worriedly when he noticed Kurogane harried look.

"I don't know but we're going out to buy alcohol," Kurogane told him.

Day 4

"I feel like I'm loosing my mind," Fai moaned. He flopped back on the rickety old couch, a mostly empty glass in his hand.

"Mm," Kurogane agreed absently and refilled his cup with the near-empty wine bottle.

The kids were out searching for information and Kurogane figured if he was forced to deal with this mentally imbalanced Fai by himself, he'd at least try to get them both drunk out of their minds. Considering their alcohol tolerance, it didn't seem likely, but at the very least, it'd make Fai sleepy and the mage really looked like he needed rest.

"I didn't think it would be so bad," Fai continued. "I can deal with this body, but it's like I suddenly don't know what I feel anymore, and then I get angry or happy for no reason at all and it's…" Fai broke off to sigh sorrowfully.

"Mm." One thing Kurogane learned from his dealings with Souma and the other kunoichi from the castle was never stop making noise when listening to them rant, because then they start noticing that you were not paying attention and things could get pretty ugly.

"Three more days," Fai muttered to himself. "It's almost over. Why are the days going by so slowly?"

"Mm," Kurogane said again.

Fai drained his cup and then paused to observe Kurogane over the rim. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

Kurogane hesitated. He took a large gulp directly from the bottle before he answered, "Yes."

"Oh," Fai's brow furrowed. "It's sort of working."

Remembering Fai and alcohol in Shara, Kurogane didn't think it was possible to get Fai drunk short of dying from blood poisoning.

"Really?" Kurogane eyed the mage skeptically.

"I feel…" that smile that stretched over Fai's face definitely looked inebriated, "warm and fuzzy." Fai turned to observe Kurogane, his head tilted in consideration. "Ne, Kuro-pon, let's have sex!"

Kurogane spluttered. "What!"

"Let's have sex!" Fai repeated, and promptly plopped himself (herself?) into Kurogane's lap. Kurogane nearly crushed his wineglass. "Ne, aren't you curious what it's like?"

"You say it like I've never slept with a woman before," Kurogane snapped. But he made no motion to shove the mage off his lap.

Fai pouted. "Well, I'm curious." He bounced a little. "Let's do it, Kuro-pii!"

There's was a part of him (a small part!) that was genuinely tempted (just a little!) in the idea of blending Fai over the coffee table. Kurogane eyed the mage speculatively.

Kurogane would be lying if he claimed to have never of considered the mage this way. It was impossible to deny that Fai was physically beautiful, but the mage was the master at dodging things that mattered and he was really too frustrating to deal with most of the time. But there were times when Kurogane was tempted, and with Fai offering it so freely, this was something Kurogane couldn't refuse. If anything, they could blame the alcohol.

He placed his hand on Fai's knee lightly, and paused to see his response. The mage's casual sloppiness slipped and the look that Fai gave him was sharp and crystal clear.

"I guess we are going to try this out then, ne?" Fai said with a soft smile.

"Hn," Kurogane responded, and pulled the mage in for a kiss.

He missed.

Kurogane blinked when he himself kissing Fai's chin, with Fai's nose mashed against his cheek. Fai must have had overbalanced as Kurogane pulled him and fallen over him. Kurogane drew back a little, intent on correctly the mistake, and at the same time, Fai went for his neck. All Kurogane succeeded in doing was poking Fai rather hard in the chest.

Fai flopped sideways onto the couch. "We fail!" he moaned.

"Don't include me in that," Kurogane snapped.

Fai reached forward and dragged Kurogane down by his shirt collar, "Try harder!" he ordered, fingers working to deftly unbutton his shirt.

"Are you drunk?" Kurogane asked suspiciously.

Knowing Fai's unnatural ability to tolerate toxic chemicals, Kurogane didn't think it was likely, but Fai was making less sense than usual and had developed a flush that went down to his shoulders.

Fai didn't pause to answer him, and just focused on stripping Kurogane of his shirt. "You are not helping," Fai pointed out with a faint pout.

Between Fai's curse and the bottles of liquor, Kurogane realized this could easily become a spectacularly ugly misunderstanding. Kurogane caught Fai's wrists, but then Fai wrapped his long legs around Kurogane's waist and arched against him and Kurogane forgot why he wanted to stop.

Kurogane leaned forward, pressing his hands on the couch for balance and trapping Fai between his arms, and pressed open mouthed kisses to Fai's neck. Fai was mewing, squirming, his hands running over Kurogane's back to pull him closer.

Kurogane's shirt was loose and hanging off his elbows, and he shrugged out of it and tossed it away absently. Fai's partially unbuttoned waistcoat was easy to slip off, and Kurogane worked to free Fai from the rest of his clothes, slipping his hand under Fai's shirt to feel the smooth skin below. Suddenly, Fai squeaked and flinched back.

"You groped me," Fai said accusingly.

"…" Kurogane looked down and noticed one of his hands was on Fai's right breast and squeezing, and tried to remember when that had happened. Kurogane wondered if he should feel guilty.

"That was weird," Fai was thoughtful. "Do it again."

Kurogane blinked. "What?"

"I'm not sure whether I like it or not. It felt a bit strange. It stung a bit but mumpff—"

Kurogane drew back from the kiss and glared down at the mage. "You," he said between kisses, "need to shut up."

Kurogane could feel Fai's mouth curve into a smile beneath his lips, "Maybe, after you take these off," Fai gave Kurogane's pants a sharp tug.

Kurogane grunted in response and, just to spite him, concentrated on stripping Fai instead. He lifted Fai by the small of his back to ease his pants off his hips and slip the unbuttoned shirt over his shoulders and down his arms, until it hung loose from Fai's left wrist.

Kurogane leaned back to look at Fai closely, skimming his hands along the unfamiliar body. Fai had always been slender, and the curse gave him curves that looked awkward on him, with hipbones that jutted out at harsh angles and a narrow, sharply tapered torso.

Kurogane's hands came to a rest under Fai's arms. He cupped a small breast in his hand, and thought it felt too soft to belong on Fai. Something about that disconnect between the familiar face and the unexpected body was threatening to short-circuit his brain.

Fai watched him in bemusement. "Do you have a fascination with my breasts, Kuro-pon?"

Kurogane pinched a nipple lightly in retaliation for that, and Fai's breath hitched. "They don't look right on you," Kurogane observed.

He wanted to see what Fai would look like without the curse, sprawled under him naked with his hair fanned out over the couch.

"If you ever sprout breasts, Kuro-chi," Fai sounded slightly breathless, "show them to me so I can judge whether or not they look right on you."

That totally destroyed the mood. Kurogane glared down at the mage and told him so.

"A bit late for that, don't you think?" Fai's hand drew a line down the center of Kurogane's chest, pausing between his legs and pressed teasingly against his hardness.

Kurogane grunted and caught Fai's wrist, pulling it over the mage's head and trapping it beneath his hand.

"You," Kurogane groused, hovering over him, "are you always this hard to shut up during sex?"

"Mm… maybe," Fai smiled softly as his free hand traced small designs over Kurogane's arm. "Ne, Kuro-pii, at the rate you're going, we'll still be here when Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan return."

Kurogane responded with another glare, but he let Fai work his pants off him with his free hand. Kurogane released Fai's wrist in favor of his hips and pulled Fai closer until his legs framed him and folded over the back of Kurogane's knees.

He pressed his thumb pads into the dips of Fai's hips, locking him in place as Kurogane pressed a kiss to the soft skin of Fai's neck, nipping lightly and licking the marks left behind. Fai keened and Kurogane's erection throbbed in response, demanding attention but Kurogane was determined to drag this out to spite the mage.

"Kuro-sama," Fai moaned, his hands clenching on Kurogane's shoulders, "We don't want to traumatize the children!"

"Don't talk about the kids in the middle of sex, idiot!" Kurogane snapped.

Fai squirmed and arched up against him, hooking his legs around Kurogane waist and dragging them together until their pelvises touched. Kurogane bit back a groan when Fai slid against him, and then he noticed the position Fai was in and felt like groaning for another other reason altogether.

"Woah, hold it," Kurogane caught Fai by his hips and Fai whimpered in protest. "If you want to be fucked like a woman, it's over here," Kurogane ran a finger against the slick skin and Fai's head fell back with a muffed moan.

"Oh," Fai gasped. "I was wondering where that was."

This, Kurogane decided, was the most awkward sex he's had in his life.

END of chapter 1

Next: Fai thinks Kurogane only chases skirts. Kurogane thinks Fai is PMSing. Rampant miscommunication ensues.

Note: this was edited for ffNET. Go to my livejournal to see the full version by following the link on my profile.