A bit (too much) on the perverted side of humor. Not everything will be perverted, but let's see the secret lives of some of the Rookie 9 and Team Gai. Hidden Cameras... (Don't hate me; I'm going to add thoughts in too).

Disclaimer: Belongs to me, Naruto does not. To Yoda, this speaking style belongs.
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In Hinata's Room...12:00 AM

Hinata finished taking her shower, so she went over to her bed and started to write in her diary. She looked in every direction possible to make sure everyone was asleep. She took off her clothes and pulled hundreds of pictures of Naruto from under her bed. She walked over to her drawer and pulled out a stash of Naruto's clothing. She tried all of the clothing on and got so infatuated with herself she tripped and woke Neji up.

"Hinata-sama, what are you doing at this hour?" Neji asked while he walked into her room.

"Nothing, Neji-nii-san."

"Are you...trying on...Naruto's clothes?" Neji sounded surprised.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Are you...going to...jack off...like...with toys?" Neji seemed disturbed by his cousin who he never knew was like this.

"OF COURSE I WON'T!"

"I think you will, and everyone in Konoha will know about it in a week." Neji had a mischievous smile.

"Shall I tell TenTen how you masturbated in the bush the other day while moaning her name? Otou-sama may like to hear too."

Neji thought twice and finally said, "I am sorry for disturbing your sleep, Hinata-sama." Neji walked out of the room. That was too close; I need to be careful around her.

Hinata made sure he was gone before she started to reach under the bed, grabbing out something long and neon-green.

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Ichiraku Ramen Stand...9:00 PM

Naruto was having a great time drinking his bottle of sake. Hinata was on her way home when she saw him.

"Oiiii, Hinata...wanna -hic- come to my place?"

Hinata looked at him with a feeling of both happiness and fear. "Naruto...are you drunk?"

"Yeah, what about it huh?" Naruto started to drool like there was no tomorrow.

"Naruto, GET AWAY FROM THE SAKE!" Hinata was scared of all of the things he could do to her. Like make her lose all of her modesty.

"C'mon...just take a sip...it'll be -hic- fun." Hinata looked at him and decided to change her mind. "Okay, just a sip."

) (10 minutes and 6 sake bottles later) (

"Sooo...Naruto -hic-...you have someone you like yet?"

"I like you...I like you a-" Naruto fell asleep midway and Hinata fell asleep on top of him.

"It's good to pretend you're drunk," Naruto whispered as his hand slipped into her pants.

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Somewhere in the mountains, Orochimaru's Hideout, Monday 10:00 AM

"Give me your body," Orochimaru said.

"Hell no!" Sasuke looked annoyed at Orochimaru. "Our agreement was only on Friday and Saturday nights."

"You can have my body Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said.

"You're too old. Sasuke isn't even 16 yet."

"Orochimaru...you're a pedophile...we all know that but..."

"Orochimaru likes it when you resist, Sasuke. That's what happened to me 3 years ago." Kabuto sighed as if he missed something.

"Ever since Sarutobi-sensei sealed my arms away, he stole my jutsus and my ability to jack-off."

"There he goes complaining again..." Sasuke and Kabuto sighed. They all heard this several times. "I was able to do it faster than anyone, including sensei himself. Do you know how fast I could jack off?"

"33 orgasms a second," Sasuke and Kabuto said in unison. Sasuke memorized his story and Kabuto could recite it by heart.

"I had to work years to gain those skills. I swear Sarutobi just tried to outdo me. How could he be so cruel?"

Sasuke took out a book and Kabuto hid in the corner. This was going to take a while.
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Neji's room, 6:00 PM

Neji was stuck choosing his clothes when Hiashi knocked, scaring Neji until he was locked in his closet.

"Neji, where are you?"

"I'm coming out of the closet, wait a second."

"Okay...well...tell me once you're out."

"I need help; coming out of the closet is too hard."

"Neji, you are a disgrace to a Hyuuga. You must come out of the closet today."

Neji looked over his words and said, "I'm stuck in the closet, open it for me."

Hiashi went over to the closet and opened it, seeing that Neji was half-naked. He closed the closet and walked away.

"HELP, I'M TRAPPED!"
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Shikamaru's room...5:00 PM

Shikamaru was sitting in the couch; his mind was diverted on two things. Shikamaru sighed, "Watching porn and finishing homework is too troublesome."

"That is what you need to get used to, my son. Women are too troublesome unless they're naked on TV."

"Then how did you have sex with mom?" Shika asked.

"I bound her, gagged her, and opened her legs wide enough so that I could reach."

"Could you teach me how to do that?"

"Yeah, all we need is someone to test it on and we can-" Hinata walked into the house and said, "Chouji wants to talk to you about something. A-ano...why are...you looking at me...like that? W-why are y-you drooling..." Shikamaru's dad said, "Well, I hear you have an unimaginable IQ, let's see how fast you learn this." Hinata looked at them and started to run.

"Kagemane no jutsu. What do I do next?" Shikamaru asked.

"No...Wait...not there...NOOOOOO!" Hinata screamed out. "We haven't done anything to her yet," Shikamaru said as he started to take off his pants making Hinata do the same.

His dad took off her panties and stuffed them in her mouth. "Good, she can't talk."

"Nah, rape is too troublesome." Shikamaru released the Kagemane and let her run away. Hinata went home and saw Hinata sealing Shika's mom's tenketsu.
"Is the whole world perverted?" she asked herself.
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Some forest where Kiba is training...3:00 PM

"DYNAMIC ENTRYYYYYYY," Kiba was practicing with his new green jumpsuit.

"DYNAMIC AIR MARKING!" He jumped into the air and peed through his suit.

"GAI-SENSEI, ISN'T HE YOUTHFUL?"

"HE IS, ISN'T HE, LEE-KUN, GROUP HHHHUUUUU-" Kurenai appeared and kicked Gai's goods. A loud cracking sound was heard.

"THE ENEMY, WE MUST SEND HER TO YOUTH SCHOOL."

Lee bit his finger, "KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU." A beach appeared with a blazing sunset. The waves crashed onto Kurenai and she was unable to move. So that's how the beach appears, Kurenai thought. "WE MUST HUG HER 'TILL SHE IS YOUTHFUL AND LIKES BARNEY!"

"Oh god no..."

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After much hard work and research and Shakugan no Shana, I finally finished this. Anyhow, how did you like the story?

My parting words are…SHANA IS A CUTIE!

Oh yeah, and thanks to my beta reader for saving my life on this one.