TITLE: SO SURREAL!!
----------------------------
Disclaimer: Damn you, NBC-they are MINE-THEY'RE ALL MINE!!!! See what happens when I don't take my medication!?
----------------------------
AN: This is a short fic showing the ER as it might be in an alternate reality. Comedy purposes only! enjoy, baby jen :)
----------------------------


CARTER: "hey-Abby, wait up!"

ABBY: "Huh? Oh, hey hi John. How are things."

CARTER: "Not so good-I had a terrible row with Dr Benton. He refuses to talk to me. I wondered,would you mind...uh...you know...talking to him for me??"

ABBY: "Uh-Carter I don't know."

CARTER: "Pleeeaaaasee?"

ABBY: "Ugh-fine, don't beg. I'll talk to him."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[In the Doctor's Lounge]

KERRY: "Dr Maluccie!!"

DAVE: "That's Dr Da-ave, to the Ladies! and what my I do for you my dear Dr Weaver."

KERRY: "Well-since you've become the acting Chief, I thought maybe it was a good idea to let our relationship -you know, ease up a little. I wouldn't want people to think you were giving me, a humble resident , any preferential treatment."

DAVE: "Hmm...we'd still get to have sex right?"

KERRY: "Dave!"

DAVE: "I'm just trying to clarify, my little whip lash!"

KERRY: "You arrogant self centred ego-maniac"

DAVE: "You manipulative cow!"

[They wrap their arms around eachother]

KERRY: "Oh, Dave!"

Dave: "Oh Kerry!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

CORDAY: "Hey Dr Romano?"

ROMANO: "Ahh-Dr corday. What may I do for you?"

CORDAY: "You know full well what the hell you can do for me, you ho! Stay the hell away from my husband! As long as you're around I just can't seem to measure up? You have the whole bald thing in common-I can't compete with that!"

MARK: "Look, Lizzie-it's not my fault you can't meet his emotional needs!If you really loved him you'd want him to be happy!-Damnit, lizzie-*I* make him happy. Can't you understand?"

CORDAY: "I'm telling you this one last time Robert-stay the hell away from my man!!"

MARK: "Lizzie-don't walk away from this...damnit-i have neds too, ya know!!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ABBY: "Come on, Dr Benton-Carter feels awful about this whole thing. Why can't you two just kiss and make up?"

BENTON: "Look, Abby-stay out of it!! He accused me of dating Mark behind his back!! If he doesn't trust me-this relationship is not going to work. He needs to get that."

ABBY: "sigh-I'll tell him what you said."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


MARK: "Hey Peter, can I talk to you for a sec?"

BENTON: "Huh- oh sure Mark"

[They go into Doctor's lounge]

MARK: "Listen Peter-I, I ...this just won't work. 'Us' I mean, you're seeing Carter and Im with Roma... I mean-Elizabeth. I Think it's in our best interest just to be friends."

BENTON:"Oh, man!"

[Peter starts to cry]

MARK :"Oh Peter-Look, I didn't mean to upset you. Come here!"

[They hug. Carter walks in to lounge with flowers in the middle of their hug]

CARTER: "Dr Benton, I'm so sorry I didn't trust you-these are for you...HEY!! WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!!"

BENTON: "Carter, I can explain!"

CARTER: " YOU LIED TO ME-YOU LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND YOU LIED TO ME! You said I was the only one!! You tell me that there's nothing going on between you and Mark-and now here you are making out with him in the Lounge!!"

[Meanwhile Romano and Elizabeth have Walked in]

ROMANO: "WHAT? Mark, you and PETER?You-you cheating b*****d!!"

ELIZABETH: "You're just putting the moves on everyone, aren't you, MARK!"

[Everyone hear a thud as the closet door opens and out fall Dave and Kerry wearing stetho-scopes and a smile]

DAVE & KERRY: "um...don't mind us! er...-carry on!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE END!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please R&R-and feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]