AN:

Now, Before you say much...this takes place a little after 21, and or 16. In the Episodes that is. If you know what happens in 21 you know why it is that I mention when he came running to him. Hehe, As for the characters and the story I don't own any of it though I would like to very much so haha-

please enjoy and READ & REVIEW!

Chapter One: ./Moral Conjunction

I didn't understand it at first, but I guess...that's how most things work in life. I keep, telling myself this...but I don't want to believe it either. Each time I wake up, and every time we meet. It's the same harsh feeling, that feeling where your chest tightens and your eyes begin to well with tears; that same feeling when you say something you don't mean, knowing its going to hurt someone but you say it anyway.

"Kaoru, You alright?" I don't answer, my mind is preoccupied with the streaming light that continues to follow me into the room. "Kaoru!"

"na?" I cant ignore him for that long...after all, he is my counter-part.

Hikaru's arm's crossed and he offered me the same grim smirk that he gave to his Highness when he was up to something...only this time-

"Kaoru-san, mooo...Didn't think I could find you here huh?" But his way about words made it easier, for some reason...to accept what I had done. It made me smile.

"haha... Nii-chan, but then I remember we're in the same room as we've always been."

I guess what I said came as a surprise to him, because the look he reflected mine with was more than enough to make me regret saying it.

And then she showed up.

The same girl that I had tried so hard to make Hikaru befriend, and appreciate. The same girl that had entered our lives and changed us both, the same...friend, I had encouraged to break the link-...No. No I had promised to myself that I wouldn't consider it as such, I promised myself...that I...

"Hikaru-kun...Kaoru-kun, how are things?" She even spoke like a boy, and for some reason hearing those words made my smile fade. But I turned as if to hide it.

Neither noticed, and I doubted they would care...after all, Hikaru had become so involved in his feelings for Haruhi-san that I guess, maybe I was becoming a second rate to him.

But that wasn't true either...and I knew it.

"Of course, I'm just thinking too hard."

Both Haruhi and Hikaru turned and stared at me for a few seconds, "what?" He had been the first to ask, but I found it hard to respond.

"a-ah...I was...just thinking aloud." Painting face was something I had perfected since then...that day- Some Halloween Celebration it had been. But I did need to remember; after all that he did come running to me...he came running to me even when Haruhi was there with him.

The words she had said then, it made me want to smile thinking about it but I knew that it simply wasn't enough to provoke the action.

"Alright, well...Kaoru-kun, Shall we go?" I turned to stare at the two who had apparently been awaiting my presence...but would I go?

"Ah, no- I'm...fine, really go on without me. I have a few things I need to finish up here." It wasn't the strange to see the two of us...Hikaru and I without one another anymore. But it was still strange to me.

Hikaru smiled and took Haruhi by the arm as he turned to wave by, their steps echoing in my mind as they progressed to the exit of the Host Club Room.

"..." The sound the door made as it shut sent shivers down my back. "...I knew it..."

--

I would spend the next hour sitting alone in the Host room, with my knee's pulled tight into my chest; my eyes focused on an imaginary figure down in the courtyard that I could spy from the window. Hikaru was my brother, and I knew that. But...would he continue to go forward with his relationship? I remember myself once telling Kyouya Sempai that Hikaru had been simply too dense to consider his feelings for love...

...but now, I was starting to think I might have been wrong.

It was possible after all, every person had the potential to gather feelings for another and place them together as something much greater. I should have seen it coming...I should have seen something like that happening.

Why was I so blind? Did I want his happiness so much that I would sacrifice my own?

"...yes..." It was a dumb question. Because I already knew the answer.

Hikaru, my dearest brother. "Why don't you come play with me again?" The words that uttered from my lips, they were phantom words. Created from unreal truths and beliefs.

I wanted them to be Phantom words. I wanted him to be happy, and I wanted to be happy for him.

...So why was it so hard?

"Mo! Hikaru-kun!"

"hahahaha, Harruuuhiiiiii!"

"..." Their voices, so chipper and loud, so happy. My eyes widened when I looked a little further to my left to spy the two in the courtyard, but not alone...no, of course not. With them were Mori and Honey Sempai, and even His Highness. It was strange to see them all down there...Kyoya too. But where was I? That's right...I was here, in this chair, pulled into myself.

" Happy ending, Happy ending..." I whispered, letting my eyes lid some, moistening from the thoughts that plagued my mind. "Always Always..."

But my thoughts stopped, as I stared and my eyes got even wider- if for a split second I saw the way he looked at her. The way she looked at him.

Perhaps, it was unrequited?

Had I set him up for hurt..?

No. I didn't...I couldn't have- otherwise she wouldn't have returned that gaze. "...ghn..." I felt myself whimper, a stray hand pressing to the glass as I stared. For the first time since I let Hikaru take my place on that date...for the first time, was I beginning to feel like it was Haruhi who had replaced me.

It was wrong, and I knew it...but she moved...and he followed.

She laughed...and he would smile.

It wasn't supposed to go that far, Right Kyouya sempai..? It was just a crush remember? "Why...then..." I couldn't hear my own voice, but I would feel my lips moving. "Why...why is it hurting so much? Why do I feel like I made a mistake?"

It's because I did.

I knew it. I could feel it, I could hear it, I could taste is...smell it..

...I could touch my mistake. My pale hands, beginning to sweat with frustration as it moved down the glass- my vision becoming distorted with the increasing amount of negative thoughts I let barricade my mind. But it was impossible to stop, it was futile attempt that would only end in failure...

And I knew this because I had been the one that started it.

Yes. That was right, I began this...

"But then why..." I sobbed, feeling my mind begin to throb with pain. "why...cant I stop it?" My fingers clenched against the glass.

A moment passed, and all I could see was the sunny world, a clear world that was separating the outside, shattering. I didn't mean to-

Most certainly I didn't understand why...

That is...until the blinding light that sparked my gaze cleared and I could see as they all looked up at me from that far below. Until I could see the windows remains and how my hands were bleeding. Whatever numbness I had experienced a few moments before had all dissipated now...leaving me with a load of pain.

'ah...It-hurts...' I winced, and moved to clear myself from the scene, but something stopped me.

His gaze...

Those...deep green and yellow orbs that made me want to fall over. His worried gaze, not a slight glint...but instead, a shocking disbelief. And I find myself stiffened under that heated gaze.

"..." Finally, I find the strength to pull away, and in a desperate attempt to escape- I turned to leave.

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AN:REVIEW NOW! D': 3

"...I don't expect you to understand..." he said, turning away from the touch, shying away from the reality of it all. "I just...needed to tell you..."

Na- huh?

Moo- ahh...

Nii-chan- Brother