Title: Sensation
Author: Neko-chan
Fandom: LOVELESS
Pairing: Soubi/Ritsuka, mentionings of Seimei/Soubi
Rating: PG
Summary: For my Lucefig. 3 She writes me Gackt/Meev cute fluff, and so I write her LOVELESS fic. :3 … Soubi is a creature forged from sensations.
Author's Notes: First fic for this particular fandom. I haven't watched the series in at least a month (because my Lucefig will be providing me with the crack when we see each other next :D), and so I'm a tad bit worried about the characterizations. xx; Fic is purposely choppy and vague in a lot of instances. Details are left out because I suck I'm weird like that. XD;

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real love, my dear, is hard to find.
..--.. "My Dear" – L'ArcenCiel

Soubi was a creature of sensation.

Forged into being so by a cruel mixture of pain and pleasure, especially by the thin white lines that crisscrossed over his back like a sadistic game of tic-tac-toe—all Soubi had to do was close his eyes and he could still feel the sting as each new cut decorated his back. The scar tissue was so thick that, sometimes, all the time, Soubi told himself that he couldn't feel anything from his neck to his lower back.

It was better that way, he supposed. There was less to feel, whether it be from a kind touch or a touch that would only be followed by even more hurt and pain and suffering, and endless cycle that had began by Sensei and had yet to end.

In some ways, he also idly supposed, both touches were interconnected.

Seimei… Seimei, Soubi had discovered early on, liked to combine both elements into his own touch; something that Sensei would have approved greatly of, but something that caused Soubi to inwardly flinch every time Seimei came near: A touch that was gentle, soft, caressing over his torso and lower. A butterfly's kiss, the soft silk of warm fingers against sensitive skin—a touch that maimed Soubi to the point of him gasping for breath because there was nothing in the touch.

Seimei was Beloved.

Beloved by his mother, by his younger brother, by Soubi. Beloved by all, for his smile that tugged the corners of his mouth, Beloved by all for the way that his head tilted to the side just so, hair as soft as mink's fur falling every which way into his eyes, shadowing hiding obscuring. Beloved, Beloved, Beloved—Beloved by all, but loving no one.

Soubi was a creature of sensation—he thrived on feelings (though he buried them deeply enough to keep them hidden, always), thrived on touch and smiles and the breeze that sifted through his hair—it reminded him of how Seimei used to run his fingers through Soubi's hair, commenting on how Soubi's hair was almost fine enough to belong to a pretty young girl.

-

Here, now:

Soft kisses were pressed against his back, and Ritsuka hugged him tightly from behind. If Soubi closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel the wet tears that Ritsuka cried as he gazed at Soubi's scars.

"Poor Soubi…" Ritsuka whispered, and hugged him tighter still. "…do they hurt still?"

Soubi's answer made Ritsuka smile, a rose-tinted blush staining his cheeks, and bury his face against Soubi's back.

"Good."

-

Soubi was a creature of sensation.

Slowly, however, he came to the realization that he enjoyed the feeling of pleasure far more than he ever did the pain. Because only one person would ever be able to provide Soubi with one sensation, stripping him of the other. And, another realization: That was all right with Soubi.

..-..

"No, not anymore. Your kisses took all the hurt away."

Owari
:End: