What They Don't Know
Disclaimer: I do not own Jake Long. I definitely don't own Brad.
AN: I'm taking a slight break from Mercy to write this one-shot. Notice that Disney is showing more and more gay men, just not admitting it? After seeing Dreamscape I had to write this because it just concludes one of my theories on the Bradster.
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"All right, team, next week we go against the Panthers! Last time they wiped the floor with us so this practice I want you all to give one-hundred and twenty percent!"
Everyone in the world has a deep dark secret they want to hold and never let anyone know. I know it; I can't be the only one. In fact I read about it a lot in magazines. Yeah, a lot of people don't know I read. And if they're at least aware that I do read magazines, they probably expect I read Sports Illustrated or something like that.
No one would expect me, Brad, the Bradster, to read one of my sister's Seventeen magazines. Not even Jessica knows I read her magazines. Neither does Dad or Mom… it's just another thing they don't know about me.
Like the fact that I don't want to play football. I actually hate it! But I can't tell that to Dad, he was a football legend in his day. He'd die if he knew that I want to quit the football team and join the dance team.
I love to dance and I'm good at it. But no one knows that. No one knows that in my spare time, when I'm alone in my room I lock my door and turn on ballet music on my Mp3 player and practice dancing. I'm not as good as the people who are actually trained, but I have a natural talent at it.
None of my friends will ever accept it either. They're all jocks who look up to my dad. Everyone expects me to be just like him. They won't accept that I'm nothing like him at all. I know it.
I come from a rich and respected family. There's, of course, my dad. He was one of New York's best quarter backs before he went into business and met Mom. Mom was a model before she married Dad and had my big sister Jessica. Jessica is the most popular girl in her high school, a cheerleader, also the biggest bitch anyone could ever meet… that Stacy from school is a close second though.
So you could say that I have a specific role planned out for me. I have to excel at football the way my dad did and then I take over the family business. I'm hot and I'm strong and that's who I am. They all expect that from me. They all expect the pompous, ignorant, rich idiot who I play to be.
I'm not as stupid as they all think. Maybe I'm not the smartest kid in school, but I know stuff. How else do they think I stay on the team? You have to have at least a C average to stay on the football team. They all probably think the coach gets the teachers to wave me by. I'm not saying he wouldn't, he just doesn't have to.
I think it's safe to say I don't like my life. Bet no one would ever expect to hear that from me. And they probably won't ever. In fact, I hate my life! I don't like being a jerk to people, I don't like flaunting my family's cash, I don't like playing football, I don't acting all macho and I don't even like pretending that I'm attracted to girls!
But they don't know that. No one does. No one knows that I like poetry and ballet. No one knows that I'm not really a chauvinistic guy who wants to have sex with every hot girl I see… no one knows that I'm not into girls like that. That's probably my biggest secret. My darkest secret. The very secret that would kill my parents and shame my entire family name.
That I, Brad, their only son… am gay. I try to hide it. I really do and I guess I'm doing a good job at it because no one seems to notice when I'm in the locker room with all my team mates. I usually start talking about some girl--usually Rose--while I take in their well toned and fit bodies.
Well, I can honestly say, I never lied about being a slight pervert. It's true. I don't really like Rose, I mean she seems nice and all but she's a she. The only reason she's usually the one I hit on is because she has no interest in me whatsoever. She can barely stand me and that's perfect. That way I can pretend I'm into her and she'll never fall for me. And I'll never end up in a relationship that I don't want.
I flirt with other girls too, but I'm usually so obnoxious they want to get away from me as soon as I show up. Another Brad trait that my friends just laugh at and think is bad luck for me. No, it's not bad luck. Bad luck would be having a girl actually fall for my "charm" and I'd have to hurt her feelings or go out with. That's why it's best to stick with Rose, plus the way Jake reacts whenever I'm around her is priceless.
I'll admit that I like getting that boy riled up. But everyone knows that. What they don't know is that I don't do it because I hate him. I do it because I like the way his face gets when he's aggravated or angry with me. I happen to have a slight thing for the short Asian. Not that he or anyone else will ever know.
Sometimes I'm jealous of Rose. He's so crazy about that girl I can't even be with him in my dreams. But in all seriousness, I'm cool with that and it doesn't bother me so much. Sure sometimes I'm jealous of her, but the truth is I think they make a cute couple. And I know she'd make him happy… if she'd ever give in. I know she really likes him too, I just don't know why she seems to be fighting it.
Well, it's not my problem. She probably has her reasons and I'm not going to invade her privacy. Hell, I'm the last person who should be getting into anyone's business. I have my own issues.
I wish I could stop this stupid game. I wish I could do what I want with my life and come out of the closet. What's stopping me? Apart from my family being shamed, my friends will stop talking to me; people in school will act weird around me… I won't be allowed in the locker room with the guys anymore and my popularity will go down the toilet.
No, I can never come out. I can never tell. My secrets will have to remain secrets because I'm not strong enough to handle the consequences if I let them out. I won't do it. They'll never know the truths about me. Let them all believe they know me even if they don't. It's safer that way. I'll never let them know the things they don't know. Never…
They're my secrets… my deep, dark secrets… everyone has them. No one will know mine… not yet. Maybe one day I'll tell, maybe one day I'll come out, maybe one day I'll be free of the expectations… but not today. Today is just another day in the life I can't stand.
"Brad, stop daydreamin' and get your head in the game!" the coach yells at me. I sigh and put my helmet back on as I run back to the field.
One day I'll be free to do what I want.
But today isn't that day.
I wonder when that day will come…
I hope it's soon.
"Get movin', Brad!"
That's that. I don't know but when I really look at Brad, he seems to try too hard with the ladies. He acts like one of those guys who are gay but are trying really hard to hide it. And then that whole ballerina thing… it's one thing to want to dance ballet, but another thing entirely to want to wear the tutu.