Author's Note:
Whew! What a chapter this has been! I just hope everything makes sense and it is as good as I wanted it to be! By the way, this it the final chapter of this story; therefore, it should be one of the best… right (laughs nervously)? I really hope it came out all right!
Anyhow, once again, I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to read this story! It has been so much fun to write, and hopefully I'll get some ideas and start a new story… sometime. I'm also grateful for all of your reviews. I'm very grateful to you all for taking the time to write up reviews, and for that, thank you very much!
Well, here we go with the last chapter! Please enjoy!
Chapter 37:
"I guess one can't look too bad in a simple white dress."
Raxiel quickly glanced at herself in the mirror to make sure she was decent enough for the party. The dress wasn't much. It was a basic, off-white dress that was a little above the knees. The straps circled her neck to give it almost a strapless affect, and the top edges of the dress were lined with a white silk. Raxiel actually couldn't believe she was wearing something that showed off much of her skin, but, for real, it was a modest dress that made her not sexy… not seductive… but just pretty.
And that was simply what she wanted.
She had taken her hair down and brushed it a few times, and Raxiel thought she looked pretty acceptable. White shoes with a bit of a heel was the rest that she needed, and quickly she went out of her room to go back to where the "life" was in the house.
When she came out into the family room, she saw that Gaara and Kankuro were off in one corner, talking quietly about something. Curious as to what they were talking about, Raxiel started to walk over to them.
"I just hope what they're talking about isn't confidential," Raxiel sarcastically thought as she closed the gap between her and the two siblings.
XxXxXxXxXxXx
Gaara heard the sound of high-heel shoes coming towards his direction. As he turned his face towards the middle of the room where the dancing was, he saw a brunette-head trying to make her way over to them without trampling on the dancers or getting trampled on the dancers.
Soon his eyes widened with realization of who it was…
"Raxiel?" he said out loud to himself.
Kankuro overheard him mumbling to himself and smirked. "Well, didn't she get something decent on, eh?"
Once Raxiel had finally made it to them, she smiled at the two. "What's up?" she asked causally.
"Ohh… nothing. Just checking everything out, making sure that everything is okay," Kankuro replied nonchalantly. Abruptly he started to walk away towards the dining room leaving Gaara and Raxiel alone. Raxiel watched as he disappeared into the dining room…
Gaara couldn't take his eyes off of Raxiel though. Never had he seen her look so… amazing… and on purpose, for that matter.
Thoughts of the night that he had seen her sleep crept into his mind…
Raxiel's gaze quickly shifted onto him. "Is everything okay?" Raxiel asked, concerned by the way that he was staring at her.
Gaara barely heard her question, but it was just enough to shake off his impolite stare. "Yeah, everything's fine." Raxiel nodded in understanding, and soon her smile appeared again.
As the piano started to play another tune again, the dancers all started back up again with their dancing. Raxiel and Gaara watched as they all moved gracefully back and forth.
Gaara started to wonder what it was like to dance…
What did it feel like…
Raxiel turned towards Gaara to see his face full of curiosity from the dancers. Raxiel smiled at him. To her, he reminded her of an innocent little child just wanting to know more and more about life and love…
But he needed someone to help him find those answers…
She needed to help him, and she knew it.
Without one word, Raxiel gently grabbed Gaara's hand and started to pull him towards the "dance floor." Startling Gaara, he had no time to pull away and was easily pulled into the middle of the room. Once they had made their way there, Raxiel stopped and turned to face Gaara who had a bewildered facial expression.
Raxiel laughed…
Never in his life before had he ever danced.
She took his hands and gently yet firmly and placed them onto her waist.
Gaara's eyes widened. "What is she doing?" he shockingly thought as he looked around at the other dancers to see that the men all had their hands on the women's waist, as well. "She wants to dance with me?"
Gaara didn't have time to answer his question. Soon he found his eyes widening even more as he looked down at her face to see her smiling up at him.
Something was wrapped around him…
Her arms…
Gaara looked around again, and sure enough, the women's arms were wrapped around the men's neck.
She was going to dance with him…
She had entranced him into coming onto the dance floor and dancing with her…
Looking back down to her smiling face, her feet started moving, making Gaara become off balance. He tried to follow her lead, but every time he did, he'd end up stepping on her small feet, making them have to start over again.
After a few minutes of repetitive "stepping-on-feet," Gaara soon realized that Raxiel had stopped. He glanced down at her curiously to see her smiling. Swiftly, he saw her lips start to mouth two words to him…
"You lead."
Somehow, Gaara knew what that meant. After figuring out how the pattern worked, Gaara started to lead her as they gracefully danced back and forth…
Just like the other dancers…
Gaara was amazed at how Raxiel had been able to teach him how to do something like this so quickly. All Raxiel and he could do was gaze at each other - Gaara with a face full on anticipation for the next step, and Raxiel with a smile gleaming just at him…
Gaara knew it was only meant for him, no one else…
Minutes turned to seconds as they continued to glide across the floor. Gaara never wanted this wonderful feeling inside of him to end. Her smile radiated the whole room, making him want to keep dancing with her so that she would never let her smile fade away. But after a few minutes, the pianist stopped his playing, and all the dancers stopped with him.
Gaara was afraid to let go of the moment…
He didn't stop dancing…
Finally he heard someone whisper in his ear to snap him out of his daydream…
"Gaara, the music has stopped."
Gaara stopped…
He looked down at Raxiel to see she was still smiling, even though they were only standing there…
What made her keep her smile?
Didn't she tell him a while back that he was the one who made her smile?
As Raxiel let go of him and started to back away, Gaara slowly removed his hands from her…
Only for a second until he quickly clutched her hand…
Raxiel looked up at his face to see his face emotionless…
Perhaps there were too many emotions running through his head…
He had not wanted these feelings to interrupt him…
He had not wanted these emotions to interfere with him and her…
Before he knew it, he had gently pulled her towards the stairs with him, where they made their way up them. For some odd reason, Raxiel had not pulled away.
Gaara knew she had too much trust in him…
He opened the door into Kankuro's room, the closest room there was next to the stairs; and after leading her through the messy room, he opened the other door that led to the balcony.
His grip on her hand eased slowly as they walked closer towards the railing that bordered the edge of the veranda.
Raxiel had not said a word. Her face was with no emotions as well.
What should her face show after he had just pulled her with him to a secluded place?
Happiness?
Bewilderment?
Madness?
But none of these emotions were controlling her. For the first time in a long time… she felt emptiness…
Confusion as to what she should really feel after what they had just shared together…
Gaara meant to say something, but no words would come out to say anything. Not even his breathing was controlled. He was losing his control fast…
He didn't know what he should do…
So he remained silent…
Once Raxiel's hand had been released from his, she slowly started to walk over to her side of the balcony where her room was. As she leaned against the railing, she closed her eyes, listening to the pianist perform his enthralling music.
Gaara glanced over at her to see her eyes shut. The moonlight that shone down on her gave her the exact same appearance as she had had that night so long ago…
Too long ago…
The night that she had taught him so much…
"I found her."
Raxiel opened her eyes to see Gaara walking towards her. His steps were being consciously controlled. "What did you find, Gaara?"
"The girl on the moon."
Raxiel's face soon turned into realization of what he meant. "You did? Wow! I'm impressed…"
Gaara had finally made it to her. He looked out towards the desert that was ahead of them. Many people were leaving the party, especially those with children.
"Show me, Gaara."
Gaara looked at her to see her eyes were shifted onto the moon. He looked at her with bewilderment. "Show you what?"
"The girl you found on the moon. Even though, everyone else calls it a man on the moon, you still found it; and now I want to see it, as well."
"…Raxiel, you've already seen it."
Raxiel glanced at him with bewilderment. "What do you mean?"
"The girl on the moon; it's you."
Raxiel's eyes widened. "What?"
Gaara looked up at the moon. "The only time I can ever find her is when I'm looking for your face. Once I have that on my mind, I can easily find it. It's when I don't have your face in my mind that I can't find anything that closely resembles a face on the moon."
Raxiel smiled. "So that's your trick?"
"I guess so…"
Raxiel gazed up at the moon. "Maybe I should try that, as well."
Silence fell over them as they stared up at the moon. After a few minutes, Raxiel smiled, showing that she was giving up with defeat. "I guess you can't see everything in one's lifetime."
Gaara looked down at her, cursing to himself for having brought up the whole thing…
Even though she was still smiling…
Pretty soon, Raxiel had her eyes shut again. Gaara wondered what she was thinking about…
"Are you okay?"
Raxiel opened her eyes and looked at him. "Yes, I'm fine, Gaara. I was just caught up in my own world with the music."
Her own world…
What kind of world was it?
"Your own world with the music?" Gaara asked.
Raxiel nodded. "Music can take you to different worlds. If you just close your eyes and listen to it, you'll find yourself in a whole different place. It can be any place you want: a happy place or a sad place, a good place or an evil place. Music can control your emotions. It can make you happy or sad. And sometimes, I just like to close my eyes and travel away from one world to the next…"
Travel…
To another world…
What if she was going?
Where was she going away?
Now, he felt as if he needed to be by her in that world wherever she was. Seeing that her eyes were closed, he closed his eyes as well, trying to listen to the music and trying to feel the same place that she was. Pretty soon, she started talking again. "It's not just about listening to the music, but you also have to listen to your heart. Where does your heart want to take you…"
Gaara opened his eyes to see she was looking at him. She smiled at him and giggled a bit.
"Where do you want to go?"
He was losing it…
He wanted to be anywhere…
Anywhere whether it'd be here or Konoha or another world…
Anywhere as long as he was with her…
Raxiel took a step closer to him. "Don't let sadness enter your heart though, it will only make you bitter and angry. It will tear the heart and scar it for the rest of your lifetime."
Perhaps that was what he had done when he was a child…
He had scared his heart…
And the more he scared it…
The more people he had to keep killing…
The more and more people he had to hate…
Because that scar would go numb only by doing that…
But he never healed the wound…
"What heals a heart?" Gaara asked quietly.
Raxiel glanced at him. "What heals the wound?" she repeated, trying to think of what she should say. "Love is what heals. It is the ultimate solution to anything. Love is everything, you could say. If you can learn to love, then you can learn to heal your wounds."
Love…
Just as Yashamaru said…
If he could learn to love…
If he had…
And he already knew he had…
But he hadn't shown it to her…
Gaara turned towards the railing to look up at the moon again. Raxiel noticed and did the same. Moving onto another conversation, Gaara started to speak. "What do you think of having children?"
Immediately, Raxiel choked. She quickly covered her mouth up and started to cough. Gaara stared at her with a concerned look on his face. Finally, Raxiel responded. "I think it'd be great. Maybe sometime in the future I would be able to, but right now there's just too much going on."
Gaara hadn't meant to startle her. In fact, he wondered if he was actually thinking when he had said that. "Sorry… I've just been… thinking about it a little, since the Kazekage is supposed to produce offspring so his family can rule the land from generations onward."
"So soon?" Raxiel teased. "You're thinking about dying in a few years?"
"No, but should worse come to worse, it'd be best to have a child as soon as possible."
Raxiel shrugged her shoulders. "Just wait. You've got time."
"Raxiel, you don't know that. No one knows that," he snapped.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Sorry," she said quietly.
Silence…
Gaara sighed with… frustration? "If I wasn't to have children, Kankuro would become Kazekage."
Raxiel laughed at Gaara's statement. "I don't think Kankuro is the best solution. I really can't imagine him running this country," she said, still laughing.
Gaara slightly smirked at the thought as well. He hadn't really thought about it until Raxiel had replied to his statement. "That is another good reason for me to get married soon."
"Gaara, when did this whole marriage thing become such a big issue?"
Gaara almost choked. He really didn't want to tell her why. "It isn't."
He lied…
"Then why are you making such a big deal about it."
Gaara looked away. He really didn't want her to know what he had learned about from Kankuro…
"Gaara?"
"Kankuro told me about the people who proposed to you."
Raxiel's eyes widened. She was hoping that no one had seen what had happened when she was in the village a few times. She knew that in this world it was not uncommon for people her age to get married, and that's why she had been offered so many times…
But did Gaara really have to hear about it?
Raxiel sighed. "So, Kankuro told you about it, huh?"
"Why didn't you accept?"
Raxiel laughed. "I barely know those people. Who wants to marry a stranger?"
Gaara gave her a half-smile. Raxiel was glad he wasn't upset about the whole thing, but why had he really gone into this long conversation about having kids and getting married?
Was he ready for it?
Raxiel tried to shake off the whole conversation, trying to forget about it. "We should go downstairs and say goodnight to the people who are still here."
"…The party will not end for another hour."
Raxiel's eyes widened. Had it really only been about twenty minutes that they had been out here…
Wait a minute…
Why was she nervous?
"You're right. My mistake," she said quietly.
"Unless you want to go back out," he mumbled as he looked downwards at the people who were leaving. Raxiel gazed at him and saw his light green eyes follow the people as they left. The wind blew, making his beautiful red hair wave up and down. Raxiel almost giggled as she thought about how ruffled his hair really was. Gaara caught her awkward smile in the corner of his eye and shifted his eyes directly onto her. Raxiel gained her composure quickly and gave him a calm and gentle smile.
As they were both facing each other, the pianist began another quiet song. Raxiel closed her eyes, and once he saw her closing hers, Gaara did the same. Raxiel quietly began to speak. "See if you can figure out what this song was written about."
Gaara was a little bewildered at first, but quickly he began to concentrate on the quiet song, trying to find the answer she wanted from him. After having heard some of the pianist's piece, Gaara gave his answer. "It's a love song," he stated, his eyes quickly opened to see Raxiel opening her eyes as well. She smiled at him and nodded. "That's right."
One could basically know just by how slurred each note of the piece was.
Raxiel took a step closer to Gaara. He noticed her eyes were focused onto the left side of his forehead.
Very soon, he felt something soft caressing the tattoo that was scarred onto his forehead…
He looked down to see her smile. "Gaara… what does the name mean?" she asked him. Gaara quickly realized that her hand was stroking the tender markings that were on his forehead. He almost chocked, but he calmed himself before it happened.
"A self-loving carnage…"
Raxiel looked at his tattoo with concernment. "It would seem like such a nice name, if only the meaning meant something different."
All Gaara could do was stare into her eyes as she studied the red marking on his face, but abruptly, Raxiel stopped. She started to put her hand down when he quickly caught her hand. Swiftly, Raxiel looked at Gaara's eyes.
"Don't stop…"
Raxiel's eyes widened, but soon her surprising face turned into only cheerfulness as she placed her hand back onto his forehead, tracing the markings one by one.
Gaara knew this was wrong…
It was all wrong…
Something about her made him want her even more…
Was it really her heart?
Was that what made him too attracted to her. Sure, she was beautiful… stunning to say the least, but it had to take more than just that to get him to let her keep touching him…
Maybe her heart could help his wounds go away…
Maybe she was the medicine he needed…
The quietness was quickly disrupted by Gaara's, quiet voice. "Raxiel?"
Raxiel looked at him, her head tilted to one side with curiosity.
"Can I… May I touch your face?"
He should have cursed at himself for saying such a thing…
His feelings as friends… being turned into something more…
But he was beyond the point of cursing at himself…
He should have killed himself…
Surprisingly, Raxiel nodded with a smile on her face, letting him no that it was all right for him to touch her. He had her permission to touch her face…
Slowly, centimeter-by-centimeter, his hand crouched up towards her face. His barely touching hand soon turned into stroking her cheek and caressing her jaw line. Raxiel tilted her head towards his hand as if asking for more…
Was she really thinking the same thing he was thinking?
To be more than friends…?
Not even realizing it, Gaara had stepped closer to her, letting his uneven breaths fall onto her fragile face. "This isn't right…"
"It would be right if we were more than friends… Are we?" Raxiel whispered.
Gaara felt her lips barely touching his, as if teasing him to come closer, though she was not meaning it that way.
The way of the mind can cause disturbance…
"I've wanted it to be…"
"Then… it is right… Because I have wanted it that way, too…" her voice trailed off.
Gaara wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her and have her lips pressed against his…
But he had never kissed before…
He moved his head away so they could see each other's face. Raxiel noticed Gaara's hesitant face, and soon caught onto why he was so uncomfortable. She smiled at him with a tender smile.
"Like this…"
Before Gaara knew it, Raxiel had moved her head up and pressed her lips against his forehead where his tattoo was stained onto him. Gaara's eyes widened as she made eye contact with him. She smiled again at him, giving him the feeling that it was all right…
Everything was just right…
Over two years they had known each other, and she had as much trust as she could have with him as he had as much trust as he could have with her.
Slowly, he moved forward towards her; and Raxiel did the same, her smile still showing on her lips.
This was what he had been waiting for…
This was what it was like to be healed…
This feeling of being healed and filled with joy…
He had never felt anything so wonderful…
Raxiel moved away for air, but Gaara grabbed both of her hands so she would not separate from him. Soon, Gaara pressed his lips against hers for more…
She was all he wanted…
Nothing else was needed now…
Gaara let go of her hands and stopped for air. Raxiel's eyes were still closed…
He knew she was content as well…
"Raxiel…" he whispered in her ear. All Raxiel could do was breathe. He knew she was still trying to take in all that was happening. "Raxiel, marry me…"
Gaara could see her feel body begin to sway. Gaara embraced her so she would not fall, his body feeling every curve of her frame. It felt so perfect. Their bodies fit together so well, almost as if they were two puzzle pieces that were made to fit each other.
Finally, Raxiel was able to speak. "Gaara… I… we don't even have a marriage license or anything that proves we'd be –"
Gaara smirked…
So, Kankuro was good for something…
Gaara gently placed one of his hands into his coat and pulled out a piece of paper. "Kankuro gave me this tonight. That's what we were talking about - the future and me having children." Noticing she was gaining her balance back, Gaara let go of her so she could see the paper he was holding. Raxiel read it, and her eyes widened. "A... marriage license?"
Gaara knew she wouldn't be able to explain this odd coincidence that had happened. Somehow, this phenomenon had happened, and all Raxiel had to do was sign it.
Gaara stepped closer to her. "Just sign it…"
Raxiel knew…
Gaara knew…
They were meant for each other.
Gaara took a step closer to her; his lips were barely touching hers. "Sign it…"
Gently with her hands shaking out of nervousness and yet happiness, Raxiel took the pen that was clipped onto the top of the paper. Seeing the line that needed her name on it, Raxiel started to sign it…
Until his lips were pressed against hers again…
How Raxiel knew what Gaara felt!
How she wanted to help heal him, and how she wanted to be healed as well!
Without looking, she signed the rest of her name and dropped the pen, and in an instant, Gaara's sand caught the pen and the paper and made its way back into the guord where it'd be kept safely there.
Gaara picked her up in his arms and carried her across the balcony, his lips still pressed against hers…
He was leading her into his room…
Tonight had been the worse night…
Emotions that should not have been were awakened…
But somehow, they both knew it was right. They knew they could never stay friends…
It wasn't meant to be….
They were meant to be friends and partners…
Lovers for life…
XxXxXxXxXxXx
And there she was... just sitting there on that rock... waiting for something magical to appear on the horizon. Her eyes were like a child's, just waiting for her surprise. As he walked closer to her, he began to become tense. He did not think he was ready for what she about to say to him... at least, he thought so. But, no matter how scared they both were, he knew it had to be done, and nothing could change it. The past could not be changed for the present or for the future. So he gained his composer, and, as quietly as he could not wanting to frighten her, he made his way towards her. The closer he got, the more his eyes acted just as hers were...
Dancing...
Gaara had dreamed this dream…
More of the dream became more of a nightmare as he could almost hear her saying "I must leave. Never will you see me again."
He tossed and turned in his bed for a few seconds…
Then his eyes shot open…
…!
Had he been dreaming?
Wait…
Did that mean he had slept?
Gaara looked around to see that he was in his room. Everything was the same…
Then his eyes widened…
"I must leave. Never will you see me again."
Gaara sat up and looked down beside him…
He looked down to the other side of his bed…
He looked as if he had gone crazy…
But there she was…
Raxiel…
She was sound asleep…
She had never left…
But still he wanted to make sure…
Gently he shook her to wake her up. Raxiel's eyes slowly opened as she saw Gaara crouched over her. She moaned for a moment, not wanting to get up just yet, and looked at the clock to see that it was six o'clock in the morning…
"Gaara, there'd better be a good reason why you woke me up at this early in the morning…" Raxiel said. She was still half-asleep, and Gaara could tell by her unhappy attitude.
"Raxiel, you're not leaving, right?"
Raxiel opened her eyes and gazed at him with bewilderment. "Leave? Why would I leave?"
"I dreamed that you were leaving…"
Raxiel soon snapped out of her sleepiness into full alertness. "You dreamed! You mean you actually slept!"
"Yeah, but –"
"That's great, Gaara! You're no longer an insomniac anymore! –"
His hand covering her mouth stopped her voice. "Raxiel, are you going away?"
He took his hand off of her to see her lips pressed into a smirk…
He didn't care if he had slept or not…
He didn't need sleep…
All he needed was to know that she would be there forever…
Raxiel lifted her hand up and combed through some of his hair. "Gaara, I promise I'll never leave you," she said to him softly.
Gaara's eyes slightly widened. "Never?"
Raxiel nodded, and that was all Gaara needed.
His face grew into a smirk…
His smirk grew into a half-smile…
His half-smile grew into a smile…
And their, his lips stayed. He gazed down at her loving eyes with a smile that stayed there for her to see. Raxiel smiled back…
"…You smiled."
Red…
Love…