Sykoe: This chapter's some kind of crap that must have come from the worst crevices in my brain... but I'm submitting it anyway because it leads to atual good scenes... I hope.
Enjoy!
Chapter 12, Lose Yourself
"N-Naruto... ran away?" I don't deserve to hear this.
"Yup. He's gone. Without a trace."
"B-but... then why are you... how come..."
"We only thought he might be here..." He shifted his weight, attempting to shake the awkward feeling surrounding us all. Behind him, Sakura could only stare intently at her feet. She must not have told him... about what happened between her, Naruto, and I. Sasuke is such an idiot, he should have known by now.
"Oh. Well," I took a deep breath, "he's not. And I can't help you." There was nothing I could do... why look for him? After all that I did for him, and all that he did to me.
He's better off dead.
"Hn. We have a mission. Sakura, we'd best be going off. If we can't find Naruto, the Hokage will find somebody else to do the job, and we'll go look for him." he glanced at me, all too hopefully. "Thanks, Hinata..."
"No problem..." I lingered in the doorway. He lingered on the doorstep, causing Sakura to grow more impatient. I could tell she wanted to leave...
Tears stung my eyes. If Sakura and Naruto took Sasuke away from me...
No. He was never mine.
"Sasuke..." my voice cut the silence, barely more than a whisper, "Go away. I can't help you."
"Hinata..."
"And until you find Naruto...
don't come back."
"Hinata? Where are you going?" Hanabi stood in the doorway. I walked straight past her, snatched my coat off of the hanger, and briefly turned to her before I opened the door. It was pouring outside.
"Out."
"Hinata... You can't-"
"I can't? Can't what, Hanabi-sama?"
"Why are you sad? Why are you so depressed? You barely cried at dad's funeral... is it-"
"Of course I cried at dad's funeral!! What do you think, I dont love him?"
That's right. I only cry when I'm alone. She had no way of knowing I let my heart out in that field, afterwards.
"Oh, that's not what I meant-"
"Then what did you mean!? I have a right to be sad when I want. I don't have to tell you all of my problems. You aren't my mother, and I can go where I want."
"Hinata. Listen to me." A step towards me, and I took a step back. A look of hurt creased her face. "You have your whole life ahead of you. You have no reason to-"
"Don't make me guilty for feeling like shit! I'm the clan leader's daughter and I can't even qualify as a jounin! How was I supposed to take over the clan? That's right, I can't, so the job goes to my little sister? How the hell is that supposed to make me feel?"
"Hinata... sister..."
"I'm leaving." I buttoned my coat, and stepped out into the moisture. The freezing was unbearable.
"You know what? FINE!" Hanabi stormed to the door, grabbing my shoulders and throwing me out the door. My feet slid on the moist wood, and before I knew it I was on the ground, looking up at my furious sister. What was she doing? "If you want to leave, you can. But you won't dishonor the head of the clan- your superior. Once you leave this property, you won't come back. You are no longer welcome to the Hyuuga mansion. Goodbye, sibling."
SLAM!
With an angry swoop of her arm, the door slid closed in my face.
Sniffles rang through an empty room in a HInata mansion, deserted except for a little sister. Her sobs cut through the darkness. The rain couldn't compare to her tears.
"I'm so sorry... sister..." a young clan leader, too aged for her years, slumped down on the cold, hard wood and leaned on the front door. "I have to do this. As clan leader, I will not allow any dis... disrespect..." the tears fell freely from her eyes. "...and I can't go back on my word."
How do you tell that to somebody? I could feel the water soaking the bottoms of my feet, making a squelching noise that rung in my ears. The rain pounded in my head, and I csmeled the sadness in the clouds, tasted the heavy blanket of sorrow quilting the Hyuuga mansion. How can I tell anybody that I saw my father's death? How can I tell them that I feel worthless... How can I tell anybody what Naruto has done to me, and Sakura?
Yet, I have such a sick feeling of hope... I am alone in the rain. I have nowhere to go. But it hasn't fully registered in my brain yet.
I keep asking myself, why me? Everytime I feel betrayed, it's like God opens up the clouds and shouts back, "Why NOT you?"
I've heard those words before.
"Maybe..." I let out a shaky sigh, and let the rain wash away my tears into the muddy Earth. " If I have nowhere to go, I can spend the rest of my life in a white-patterned room in a mental institution. Knowing the truth."
Sykoe: I don't know how I feel. I've been slipping in and out of exhaustion and complete happiness.
I get to see my mother. My grandfather becomes ill.
I guess this story sucks because I have a lot on my mind.. but I had to let it out somehow. Anyway, this story has had it's best times while I was depressed, right?
Hope you enjoyed it even though it probably kinda sucked... more junk to come! XD
PLEASE REVIEW!!! What can be improved?