A Thin Line
Rated-T (Will likely increase later)
Summary- A line has been crossed. GSR
Disclaimer: Of course I own them. I keep them in a cage in my basement.
A/N- Please r&r. It warms my soul to know if someone actually likes what I write. And I'll accept criticisms, but only if their meant to help, not harm.
--
It was suddenly hard to breath.
Her chest was tight, nails dug into the palms of her clenched fists.
She stared at him. His smile… god, how long has it been since she's seen him smile like that? He was so very attractive in his dark dress pants and light blue shirt.
When the red head put her hand on his arm Sara felt something squeeze in her throat. She stood quickly startling the occupants at her table.
"Are you alright, Sara?" Joshua asked concern etched on his face.
"Fine," she rasped. "I just need to-" she stole another glance at the corner table, "-use the washroom."
-
Sara stood in front of the mirror. Her face was pale, her eyes wide with unshed tears. She saw none of this, however. All she saw was a leggy red head, stroking Grissom's arm.
Absently, she turned on the tap, letting the water run through her fingers. She soon was aware of warm tears dripping onto her wrists. Angrily, Sara wiped them away with the back of her hands.
She seethed. Why did she continue to let him do this to her?
Sara never figured herself to be masochistic.
She inhaled sharply when she heard the bathroom door open, still glaring into the sink she barely acknowledged the woman until she spoke.
"Are you alright, hon?" Her voice was silky and smooth.
Sara looked up into the mirror, dismayed to see the object of her plight staring back at her with concern.
The red head.
"I'm fine." Sara bit out, embarrassed when she felt a tear slip down her cheek.
Red, as Sara decided to call her, began reapplying her lip stick.
"Are you sure?" Her voice and eyes were soft and warm.
Sara wished she seemed cruel.
She was very beautiful, Sara bitterly admitted. Red was tall, her complexion was perfect, her green eyes were bright. Her hair reminded Sara of rich cinnamon; it gleamed under the bathroom lights. She was also a good ten years older than Sara. Red, so far, had aged fantastically.
Sara swallowed.
"I'm sure." Sara whispered staring blindly into the sink, no longer able to stare at the woman.
"Okay." Red said, snapping her lip stick cap closed. "Keep your head up, darlin'." Then, with a quick click of her heels, Red left.
Sara looked up into the mirror, seeing herself. Too thin, limp brown hair, dull brown eyes. She felt a sob lodge itself in her throat.
"Fuck." She whispered. Standing erect, she grabbed her purse and hurriedly left the washroom.
--
Sara became aware of a large hand grabbing her bicep; which made her also aware she had left the restaurant.
"Sara," Said a familiar male voice. "Are you alright?"
Her smile was forced, but only those who knew her would know. She turned and looked into confused brown eyes.
"I'm okay Josh. I just need some air." Sighing, she leaned against the restaurants brick wall.
Josh let his hand linger on her arm until Sara subtly moved it away.
His hand dropped to his side. "You ran out of there pretty quick. Are you sure you're alright?"
Sara suddenly felt exhausted.
"I think I'm going to call a cab home."
"I can drive-"
"Josh, please don't." Something in her voice made him pause.
He said nothing, only stared at her.
"I'm sorry." He watched her mouth form the words.
"Okay." He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
Sara twisted her lips, feeling regret. Josh was a really good guy. He was attractive, with his dark eyes and dark hair. He was very nice. He was also young.
Sara inwardly laughed. He was probably five years older than her.
But it wasn't enough.
"Go on. I'll be fine here," Josh looked at her with indecision, "Come on, don't let me ruin your night."
"You're not."
Sara briefly closed her eyes. She wished he wasn't so kind.
"If you stay out here, you'll make me feel really guilty. Go on. Tell Carly and Simon I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm not feeling well."
Sara honestly wanted to be alone. She opened her cell phone, dialing the first cab company she could remember.
"Okay." Josh said in defeat, disappointment evident on his face.
"I'm sorry, Josh." She reached out to lightly touch his arm.
"No worries." His smile was sour. He turned to leave. Looking back he opened his mouth as though to say something.
"Go." Sara whispered.
He nodded, retreating. Sara turned to stare at the Las Vegas blinking lights. Inward she fought a battle.
She was furious with herself, for reacting the way she had. She wasn't dating Grissom. She had no hold over him whatsoever.
She'd been on a date herself for God's sake. A double date.
The burning in the pit of her stomach made it known that even though she knew these things, it didn't matter. It felt like betrayal. She lifted a trembling hand to hook chestnut hair behind her ear. Staring at the hand, her eyes narrowed.
She couldn't keep letting him do this to her.
If she does, he'll ruin her.
Slowly, she became aware of a presence behind her.
She sighed, expecting her bitter date. She turned with more excuses on her lips.
The excuses died as she faced the man who caused her so much elation, pain and torment.
"Grissom." She breathed.
"Sara." His blue eyes ran over her face.
Sara turned to stare at something past his shoulder.
"What do you want?" She asked more harshly than she meant.
"Sara…"
"What?"
"Look at me." Something in his voice made her.
His face was unreadable. His head was cocked to the side, studying her.
"How did you know I was here?" Sara asked. Her chest felt tight.
"I saw you," he motioned behind himself towards the restaurant, "in there. When you ran out I-" he paused, and then sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
Sara laughed humorlessly.
"You ignore me, for the last month, and now you think I should believe you care?" Dismayed she felt tears gather in her eyes.
"Oh, Sara." Grissom stepped forward, lifting a hand as though to wipe away her tears.
"No." She hissed, stepping back.
His hand dropped to his side. For a split second, Sara thought he looked lost. But, looking again, he was unreadable.
"Go away." Sara said between gritted teeth.
When he didn't, she turned to glare at him.
Grissom rubbed a hand through his hair.
"Jesus." He murmured.
Her glare faltered as she noticed how tired he looked. He looked older. Lines drawn where there had been none at work the night before.
"If I knew it was going to be like this…" He trailed off, as though searching for something to say.
She stepped towards him until she her body was inches from his, staring him in the eyes, daring him to back away.
"What...," Her voice was a delicate whisper. "Are you saying you wouldn't have come to my apartment that night?" Her breath trailed on his skin. He shivered slightly. Their eyes caught. Resigned blue fought furious brown.
He backed up, his face filled with regret.
"Sara… you know we…I can't-"
"Yes, I do. I remember that conversation very clearly."
A cab pulled up next to them.
"This is my ride." She cleared her throat, "And you have a date to get back to."
He blanched.
"Sara… I…"
Sara looked at his slouched posture, his eyes searching hers for something to say. She knew anything he would say at that moment would be more than she could bear.
"Please, don't Grissom."
He wordlessly stood watching her open the car door.
As she leaned back into the cab's worn seating, she looked back. She saw him standing where she left him. She could swear he was peering into her soul through the tinted windows.
She gave into her tears.
tbc