Title: Evolution
Author: Lisa M
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye; Hawkeye/Trapper implied
Rating: Corporal
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own anything. Don't sue … no money.
Archive: Anywhere, just let me know.
Feedback: Would be appreciated - good or bad.
Spoilers: Small ones for Welcome to Korea, Preventive Medicine and Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, but nothing major - this fic won't spoil the episodes for you.
Summary: Things change.

A/N: I'm having angst issues … and it's flooding into my fics. Sorry. There is a tense change … it is intentional.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The day we met, you were fresh-faced and innocent. There was still hope in those wide blue eyes of yours - it was terrifying. You were standing there in your perfectly pressed dress uniform, the shiny new buttons and Captain's bars glinting blindingly in the sunlight, holding out your immaculately clean hand. I remember looking at it for a moment; fingers unstained and untouched by blood, by death, and almost recoiling from you.

Captain BJ Hunnicutt

I shook your hand as Radar introduced you. I didn't want to, but I did because it was the 'polite' thing for me to do. Dad always told me that if a man offers his hand, you shake it. No matter what reasons you may have for not wanting to - and my reasons were big ones.

You were taking his place. His bunk in the Swamp. His spot on the surgical team. Even the small strip of white tape placed above his hook in post-op … was now yours.

And I wanted him here, not you.

BJ Hunnicutt

But, as we were standing there in the swirling dust of Kimpo, you made a joke, and I couldn't stop myself from smirking. A small seed of kinship was planted within me. And later, when you got sick by the roadside, I didn't hesitate and rushed to your side. You needed me to be there for you. It didn't matter what I was feeling - though that had already begun to change. Somewhere deep inside of me, emotions were shifting away from him and on to you.

For some reason, I didn't resist it. I allowed those feelings I'd had for him to drift away.

BJ

By the time we arrived at camp, I'd almost forgotten that you were here to replace him. As the months lengthened, we grew closer and closer. Our friendship deepening into something far more than just that - even beyond what I'd had with him. That's why, when you broke the still we'd made, I wasn't angry. Because I knew you and I would build another one.

And it would be ours.

Beej

Now, here I sit, in the helicopter, watching you drive away on that horrid yellow motorcycle, taking that ugly hat and that stupid cheesy moustache and those damn stupid clodhoppers away with you. Away from me. I won't be seeing you every day. Or drinking with you, or laughing with you … or sleeping next to you anymore.

My chopper lifts into the air and I see your message spelled out in stone. The tears well in my eyes, but they won't fall. Not even as my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces. You'll never know how sorry I am for not wanting you here that first day.

If Trapper had stayed, I would never have met you.

The End