Disclaimer: If I owned anything, I wouldn't have to write fanfiction in the first place.

Note: The story and chapter titles come from a song by The Goo Goo Dolls- "Let Love In". Background: Post "Keg!Max!" episode. R&R. Thank you!

1

-you wait, wanting this world to let you in-

His mind void of thoughts, he turned away from her and began walking. He felt numb. He had nowhere to go. Back to Luke's? He couldn't handle that right now. So he kept walking. His mind began to liven, the events of the week and the evening racing through his head like the gossip the town chittered away at. His memory sorted through the humanity that had defined her startling blue eyes that night: Playfulness, affection, worry, possibly care. Then they had been blurred by the tears that he had caused.

His jaw was beginning to ache where a punch has connected. His body stiff with pain, his head throbbing, mind racing and heart pounding, he approached th bridge. Subconsciously, he knew his wandering would inevitably lead him here. He leaned down to the water and splashed the cool liquid on his face, running his hand through his hair to clasp the back of his neck. He sat down on the edge of the bridge and sighed. He racked his vocabulary for the adjective to describe her eyes when he had glanced back, on hearing his name, and then turned away from her. Was it disappointment? He put his head in his hands and stared down at the water. Shit. How did everything get so messed up?

He couldn't tell her. Any of it. If it was disappointment he had seen just minutes (or was it hours?) ago, imagine the look she would give his if he told her he wasn't graduating. The other thing he certainly couldn't admit, neither by itself, nor attached to the "I'm-not-graduating" missile. He tried to shake it off. The feeling like he was going to throw up. The memory of moments with her that brought a constriction to his chest. He couldn't even form the words from among his thoughts, certainly never out loud. Quit shaking it around, he thought. Stop shaking it stop shaking around aroundstopstopstop

"Stop!" He said aloud, the sound of his own voice surprising him amidst the organic silence. The single word bounced gently off the water and stirred the nearby blades of grass.

He sighed again. His options were limited. He could repeat the 12th grade, live another year with Luke- it wouldn't be so bad.

Or he could leave. Tonight. He could grab his wallet, hop a bus and go back to New York, not that there was anything for him there either.

And what about her. He wanted to make things right. Did she care anymore? After all, she had turned to Dean after their argument. He had left the bedroom to catch her and apologize. For the first time, he had been ready to say he was sorry. He had been on the verge of telling her everything. And then when he reached the top of the stairs, his eyes had been met with the sight of HIM comforting her; Her misery over what he had sone, what he had said.

And why shouldn't she? If Dean hadn't gotten fed up and broken up with her, would they even be together now? Then again, he would probably still be with what's-her-name, feeling emptier and emptier with every day that passed. His stream of conscience was getting painful and he quickly pushed her out of his thoughts.

But what of tonight? He didn't want to go home, or at least back to Luke's. He couldn't leave. Couldn't, or didn't want to? He was unsure of that as well, adding to his frustration.

"God, how did I screw everything up?" He asked the water. "Huh?" He demanded. Suddenly feeling out of place, he stood up. After standing still for a moment, allowing the strange peacefullnes of the lake to bear into his skin, he headed to the diner.