ZATMAN

By: Beckettsbabe09

A/N: I don't own Stargate …. Although... If you've found a way I can own Daniel tell me! I also don't own the Jimmy Buffet song that is in this. It's not a song fic…but has a few lyrics in it. It's a one-shot.

New Years Eve. Finally it had arrived. Sam had been planning it since Christmas.

Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c had come over for a party. Well, not really a party, just a small get together between friends. But with alcohol, lots of alcohol.

"Come on T, just one!" Jack begged. Although the rest of them were on their second or third beer, Teal'c had refused to drink.

"Iz not like it will hurt!" Daniel exclaimed, with a slight slur.

"I don't think consuming numerous alcoholic beverages is wise Daniel Jackson. You are already drunk."

"I am NOT!" He tried to look outraged but failed miserably and began to laugh his head off. Jack and Sam couldn't help but joining in after seeing the look on his face.

Yeah, the "party" was going great.

It was closely approaching midnight when they finally convinced Teal'c to take a drink. Then another. Then another. Before long he was on his second bottle.

Sam herself had stopped when she started to feel a buzz. Jack and Daniel, however, decided that they were going to empty out the corner store. It showed too.

Jack had stretched out on the love seat and was singing what he called "Ode to Kinsey"

"Were you born an asshole?

Or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine

'cause you're an asshole tonight.

Yes you're an A-S-S-H-O-L-E...

And don't you try to blame it on me.

You deserve all the credit.

You're an asshole tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday.

You're an asshole tonight.

And I've got a feelin'

You'll be an asshole the rest of your life."

Sam couldn't help but smile as she recognized the Jimmy Buffet song. Daniel, on the other hand, was laughing so hard that he fell out of the chair he was sitting in.

"Come on you guys be quiet! The ball is about to drop!" They watched in silence as the countdown began. Well, almost silence. Daniel decided to make a joke about the ball and the poll it was on. Sam didn't even think it was funny, but Jack thought it was hilarious. Teal'c even cracked a smile. Upon seeing Teal'c, Jack began to laugh even harder.

"THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Sam excused herself from the drunken men and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she was met by a sight that almost knocked her out.

Jack was standing on her coffee table. He'd some how managed to get his underwear on the outside of his pants and had a towel tied around his neck.

Daniel and Teal'c watched in amusement as Jack declared himself a superhero, but not just any superhero he was------

"ZATMAN!" He waved the remote at Daniel and made a shooting noise. Daniel giggled and fell over. Teal'c, deciding to join in on the fun, grabbed a broom and began "shooting" at Jack.

Jack jumped off of the table and hid behind Daniel's chair. He caught sight of Sam standing in the doorway and yelled "Join me Super Sam!"

She shook her head no but he pulled her down beside him. He pulled another remote from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Watch my back!" he whispered. He suddenly rolled out from behind the chair and began "shooting" Teal'c. Sam, still in shock, stayed behind the chair.

After five minutes of fighting, Teal'c was declared dead. Jack sat down beside of Sam on the couch with a sigh.

"Mission accomplished Super Sam."

"Yes sir."

"You know what?"

"What?" Silence "What sir?" She turned to look at him, only to find that he'd finally passed out. She looked around the room with a smile. Daniel had never gotten up when he'd been shot and lay partially over the side of the chair. Teal'c hadn't recovered either, but he lay on the floor.

She went to the closet to get her extra blankets and covered them up. Before she went to bed, she made sure that they each had a bucket by their sides.

Yeah, the "party" hadn't gone as planned. It had gone better! But the truth was, as much as she had enjoyed it, the next morning would be just as great!

The End

A/N: So…what did you guys think? Review and tell me PLEASE! It was my first drinking fic! So tell me….did you think it was good?